Confucius say... whatever you say

[Danalys]

confucius says "this is confucious, am i confuciousing you."

 

[knowsbleed]

Man who stands on toilet, high on pot.

A bird in your hand is worth two in the bush.

Think about that one for a minute.

happiness is only a false positive away

If you're going to pick a fight with someone bigger than you, cheat.

t:



Only smell your finger(s) when she's not looking

 

[blueharvest]

Woman who wear wonderbra make mountains out of molehills.

 

[Wiseman]

age is just a number, until you get arrested

 

[knowsbleed]

No means yes, except for when it means no.

 

[Wiseman]

those who cannot do, teach. Those who do their teachers pass

 

[knowsbleed]

Wisdom, compassion and horniness are the three universally recognized moral qualities of men.

 

[Wiseman]

Never marry someone that you can't see yourself ignoring for fifty years

 

[Drakon]

"Man only has two driving factors: hunger, and horniness. If he is without erection, give him sandwich."

 

[Shemtov]

True geekiness can only be found without sports or getting laid

 

[C. Lee]

Those who can......do
Those who can't.....teach
Those who can't teach....become high school football coaches

 

[Drakon]

Those who can......do
Those who can't.....teach
Those who can't teach....become high school football coaches

And the rest mod SHH forums.

 

[C. Lee]

Admins work 12 to 1.....a mod's work is never done.

 

[Wiseman]

reality is only the minds perception of what's going on around you, take drugs, trick your mind, change your reality

 

[Suirou]

The world may be in your hand, but you always wish for something softer.

 

[knowsbleed]

That's not what she said.

 

[Wiseman]

life is pain, masochists love life

 

[Suirou]

Life isn't like a garden so don't be a hoe.
The world isn't filled with dogs so don't be a b****

 

[DDS]

Didn't make this one up, but it's still good.

Guns don't kill people. Dads with cute daughters do.

 

[Maximus One]

The 2 most traumatic realizations about life for men are 1 their own mortality and 2 the fact that girls poop to

 

[knowsbleed]

They do?? Oh ****.

 

[Carcharodon]

If the right side of the body is controlled by the left hemisphere of the brain, and the left side of the body is controlled by the right hemisphere of the brain, then only left-handed people are in their right minds.

(Notice that the thumbs-up icon is, in fact, a left hand. I rest my case.)

 

[Drakon]

If the right side of the body is controlled by the left hemisphere of the brain, and the left side of the body is controlled by the right hemisphere of the brain, then only left-handed people are in their right minds.

(Notice that the thumbs-up icon is, in fact, a left hand. I rest my case.)

And the rightys use what's left.

 

[knowsbleed]

My father was giving me directions while I was driving one day and he told me to turn left and I said, "You want me to turn left?" and he said... "Riiigghht". Everybody knows what happened next. Now let me ask this... who was in the wrong? Him or me? I tell you what... I feel it was him and to this day I don't feel I deserved that smack in the back of the head.




To stay on topic:

Always do what your father says except for when your father speaks.

 

[Majic Walrus]

Always wear sunscreen.