The Mental Health and Wellness Thread

[X Knight]

You've got to take care of things one step at a time. Diet is paramount. Second is your sleep patterns. This is something I want you to try also - meditation. I'm willing to bet right now part of the anxiety is because there's a bunch of chatter you can't control, probably related to your job. You have to learn to clear the chatter from your mind. Even if you don't have much chatter mediation will help you develop the skill of remaining calm in situations that are likely to cause an anxiety attack. Mindfulness, being present in the moment, acknowledging what you're feeling and learning how to respond to said situation in a healthy way. There's plenty of youtube videos that cover this, too many to recommend. But I suggest trying to do mediation for at least 20-30 mins each day. Like exercise the more you learn to be mindful of what you're feeling at a given time, the better equipped you'll be to respond to the situation in a way that isn't distressing.

Also, get yourself a hobby. You need to have some type of activity that is as far away from work as you can possible get. Said activity will help release dopamine into your system, making you feel better. If you're the creative type I can recommend some activities online you can do. I'm not saying any of this to be harsh or anything, I've gone through this type of thing before and know the way out of it. So do yourself a favour, start making these changes now. And most importantly - be kind to yourself. Try and look at the positives that you've got going for yourself. Remember what your goals and values are and what qualities you bring to the world. Commit now and you'll eventually get out of that job you hate. You can do it dude.

very well said.

also, finding and cultivating a hobby could also help you discover where your true interests and passions lie. which could also possibly lead to a career change.

 

[Lighthouse]

You've got to take care of things one step at a time. Diet is paramount. Second is your sleep patterns. This is something I want you to try also - meditation. I'm willing to bet right now part of the anxiety is because there's a bunch of chatter you can't control, probably related to your job. You have to learn to clear the chatter from your mind. Even if you don't have much chatter mediation will help you develop the skill of remaining calm in situations that are likely to cause an anxiety attack. Mindfulness, being present in the moment, acknowledging what you're feeling and learning how to respond to said situation in a healthy way. There's plenty of youtube videos that cover this, too many to recommend. But I suggest trying to do mediation for at least 20-30 mins each day. Like exercise the more you learn to be mindful of what you're feeling at a given time, the better equipped you'll be to respond to the situation in a way that isn't distressing.

Also, get yourself a hobby. You need to have some type of activity that is as far away from work as you can possible get. Said activity will help release dopamine into your system, making you feel better. If you're the creative type I can recommend some activities online you can do. I'm not saying any of this to be harsh or anything, I've gone through this type of thing before and know the way out of it. So do yourself a favour, start making these changes now. And most importantly - be kind to yourself. Try and look at the positives that you've got going for yourself. Remember what your goals and values are and what qualities you bring to the world. Commit now and you'll eventually get out of that job you hate. You can do it dude.

Meditation has been hugely beneficial in my therapy. I wouldn't start right off the bat with 20-30 minutes though. It's hard to just get through 5 when starting out. You also don't tend to see benefits right away. It's a lot like exercise where you see the benefits when you stick with it. I'd recommend beginners start out 5-10 minutes for the first 2 weeks, then work your way up after that. Theres some great apps and YouTube videos that provide guided meditations to walk you through it.

I dont belive in therapy has its not going to change the situation, and its 100% situation that is causing this, and I belive siatuations causes depression but I known that scientific that is wrong but to me depression is 100% situational just like you dont laugh for no reason or smily for no reason. Depression is like extreme sadness its a emotion and emotions are caused by situations/things that happend. I never understood how some one that is like ritch and has there health could be depressed I dont get it its like you have nothing to worry about? But I guess some people do fell depressed for no real reason and that it is like a chemical inbalance in the brain but I just dont get it. Just got another rejection email for a job today and its just like of course why do I even try, and kt just pisses me off, and makes me bitter, and I am naturely not a patchent person at all, and this whole thing is really testing my patchents. I understand like with stress and emotion eating what like they mean when they say what are your triggers that cause it and to advoied them but when its a job that you are at like 40 hours a week you cant really advoied it than. Oh man I am sorry about your kidneys and dialysis. How long have you been dealing with that? Any improvements.

I'm sorry you feel that way, and I have to say I think you're interpretation of depression is 100% wrong, but if that's how you think about it, I'm not going to be able to change that. I've had end-stage renal disease since I was 16, and had a kidney transplant when I was 17. Two years ago after about 17 years of working, my transplant failed and now I'm waiting on dialysis for a new one.

 

[Flash525]

With complete respect here @spiderman2 , it seems you're too focused on what you can't do rather than what you're capable of doing if you set your mind to the task at hand. Everyone here is telling you to fix your diet, and yet you're focused on fixing something else. We get you're unhappy with life and employment, but these long term changes don't happen over night; persistence is key.

Evidently, your main problem is sugar;

I have been stressed out of my mind for like 7-8 years and at first I didn't crave sugar all the time but I think because its been so long being stressed out and felling depression that its now taking a toal and making me crave the sugar. I just dont known how to deal with the depression and anxenity any more and keep turning to the sugar.

It goes without saying, but you need to cut this out, or at least severely limit it. Sugar gives you that temporary boost, as soon as that effect wears off (which it does) you'll start to feel crappy again. The way to deal with this is to force your body not to rely on sugar to (temporarily) fix you up, and you can only do that be reducing, or better still, removing a large portion of sugar (processed sugar) from your diet. We can't do this for you. You must do it for yourself

Put your effort into finding a good therapist and make that decision to go.

I'm not quite sure whether professional therapy is the solution here, but it is an idea. Find a CBT specialist and work with them. You've got to seriously want it though. They, much alike us, can't make the changes for you.

I have been trying to work out like 5 times a weeks and take two days off. I will do good for a few weeks and than have a few weeks were I do worse.

Maybe you need to alternate your gym programs? What do you do at the gym? How long do you spend there? Break your workouts down for us if you could...

• Gym session duration - how long are you at the gym for each day?
  
• Gym workouts, weights and/or cardio?
• Reps and Sets? How many reps do you do per set?

I hate exercising un less I am playing basketball or something other wise it just fells like a chore and is just boring have never liked working out un less I am playing a sport.

Is that because you don't think it's working though? Getting into shape takes time, and from what I can gather, you've not been at it that long. You've got to stick with it. All these people you see who lose loads of weight too quickly; that's not remotely practical, and I bet more than half of them put it all back on not long after because it's simply not manageable.

Gyms are not cheap and being able to exercise while I watch tv that I want makes me much more likely to do it and I fell like I have zero free time has my life is like work, looking for work, home work and school so going to the gym and than like getting home late I am likely not going to do.

This is the worst. If you're watching TV when exercising, then you're not focusing on the exercises, and you're not giving it all you've got (which is what you need to do). If you want to change your life, and your lifestyle you need to compromise. What's more important to you right now; getting into shape, or watching something on TV?

When I say vegtibles I really mean I cant stand them.

I can't believe there's not a single vegetable you don't like. You can't have tried them all. I say this with kindness, but I suspect this is more a mind over matter thing.

 

[Lighthouse]

With complete respect here @spiderman2 , it seems you're too focused on what you can't do rather than what you're capable of doing if you set your mind to the task at hand. Everyone here is telling you to fix your diet, and yet you're focused on fixing something else. We get you're unhappy with life and employment, but these long term changes don't happen over night; persistence is key.

Evidently, your main problem is sugar; It goes without saying, but you need to cut this out, or at least severely limit it. Sugar gives you that temporary boost, as soon as that effect wears off (which it does) you'll start to feel crappy again. The way to deal with this is to force your body not to rely on sugar to (temporarily) fix you up, and you can only do that be reducing, or better still, removing a large portion of sugar (processed sugar) from your diet. We can't do this for you. You must do it for yourself

I'm not quite sure whether professional therapy is the solution here, but it is an idea. Find a CBT specialist and work with them. You've got to seriously want it though. They, much alike us, can't make the changes for you.

Maybe you need to alternate your gym programs? What do you do at the gym? How long do you spend there? Break your workouts down for us if you could...

• Gym session duration - how long are you at the gym for each day?
  
• Gym workouts, weights and/or cardio?
• Reps and Sets? How many reps do you do per set?

Is that because you don't think it's working though? Getting into shape takes time, and from what I can gather, you've not been at it that long. You've got to stick with it. All these people you see who lose loads of weight too quickly; that's not remotely practical, and I bet more than half of them put it all back on not long after because it's simply not manageable.

This is the worst. If you're watching TV when exercising, then you're not focusing on the exercises, and you're not giving it all you've got (which is what you need to do). If you want to change your life, and your lifestyle you need to compromise. What's more important to you right now; getting into shape, or watching something on TV?

I can't believe there's not a single vegetable you don't like. You can't have tried them all. I say this with kindness, but I suspect this is more a mind over matter thing.

He can use whatever will work. I'll only say that finally getting a therapist and working on a specific therapy has been more beneficial to my depression and anxiety than anything else I've done. Changing how I look at my thoughts and outside events in my life, along with talk therapy, exercise, mindfulness meditation and focusing on the now have really made some improvements in my life. It's why I'm resistant to spiderman2's idea that just changing the situation will fix everything. Will it make it better? Probably yes, but the way of thinking remains. Sometimes, like in my case, the situation cannot be changed only how I deal with it. If I can learn to be at peace in bad circumstances, that makes making changes to get better much easier

 

[jmc]

Flash is right. You’ve got to focus on what you can do not on what you can’t.

 

[spiderman2]

With complete respect here @spiderman2 , it seems you're too focused on what you can't do rather than what you're capable of doing if you set your mind to the task at hand. Everyone here is telling you to fix your diet, and yet you're focused on fixing something else. We get you're unhappy with life and employment, but these long term changes don't happen over night; persistence is key.

Evidently, your main problem is sugar; It goes without saying, but you need to cut this out, or at least severely limit it. Sugar gives you that temporary boost, as soon as that effect wears off (which it does) you'll start to feel crappy again. The way to deal with this is to force your body not to rely on sugar to (temporarily) fix you up, and you can only do that be reducing, or better still, removing a large portion of sugar (processed sugar) from your diet. We can't do this for you. You must do it for yourself

I'm not quite sure whether professional therapy is the solution here, but it is an idea. Find a CBT specialist and work with them. You've got to seriously want it though. They, much alike us, can't make the changes for you.

Maybe you need to alternate your gym programs? What do you do at the gym? How long do you spend there? Break your workouts down for us if you could...

• Gym session duration - how long are you at the gym for each day?
  
• Gym workouts, weights and/or cardio?
• Reps and Sets? How many reps do you do per set?

Is that because you don't think it's working though? Getting into shape takes time, and from what I can gather, you've not been at it that long. You've got to stick with it. All these people you see who lose loads of weight too quickly; that's not remotely practical, and I bet more than half of them put it all back on not long after because it's simply not manageable.

This is the worst. If you're watching TV when exercising, then you're not focusing on the exercises, and you're not giving it all you've got (which is what you need to do). If you want to change your life, and your lifestyle you need to compromise. What's more important to you right now; getting into shape, or watching something on TV?

I can't believe there's not a single vegetable you don't like. You can't have tried them all. I say this with kindness, but I suspect this is more a mind over matter thing.

No its not because I dont think it is working I just have never liked to exercise un less its getting exercise from playing a sport it just bores me to death and fells like a chore and that was per depression. Than you had depression into the mix whitch ever one who has had it knowns it makes it hard to stay motivated and makes you physically and mental tried and not want to do things that just makes things even worse. Yes I known I got to find a way to cut out sugar or cut back big time at least. I dont have something ever day but my problem is that far to often I will get something and have it like 3-4 days in a row and go threw something pretty fast by my self that you should never be able to finish by your self that fast. When it comes to vegetables I will eat carrots and broccoli but only raw but even than I dont really care for it just can with stand it some with green beans can just with stand it. Only vegetables I would say I like are corn but its also a startch and black olives that is it. What I have been trying to do and need to do more often is I have been doing furit and vegetable smoothies and trying to eat smaller portions of meat/bread/potoas that way I can get maybe a little less calories and also better calories in my diet has not all calories are the same.

When it comes to exercising I am not going to go to a gym has like I said I fell like I have no free time, and so having to spend like a hour more away from home is just not going to happen that is why I got the total gym and elliptical at home, and while I may be watching tv that dosnt mean I dont push my self or am not forcused on the exercise. Its not hard to ride a elliptical and watch tv at the same time has I am facing the tv any way. I try to push my self and can normal make it 50 minutes tolod and I tend to be pretty darn tired and breathing hard and sore by the time I am done. With the total gym it has 12 levels of resetics the legs lower body I can do at 12. The upper body I can do at 8 and when I first started I was lower than that. I may be able to go up to 9 if I keep at it. For lower body I do leg press and ham string streath/life kind of thing. For upper I do like the row and pull ups and a few other things.

 

[jmc]

Do intermittent fasting as well to help with diet. Set aside an 8 hours period through the day and only eat during that period. Fast for the other 16 hours.

 

[Flash525]

He can use whatever will work.

Yes, he can, but he needs to want it to work first; there’s no point him paying a counsellor simply to sit and complain about him not being able to change if he’s not willing to make the hard choices. It’s just throwing money away otherwise, and it doesn’t sound as though he’s necessarily in a financial position to do that.

I know in the UK at least there’s the NHS which offers free counselling services, but there’s a long waiting list. Otherwise you’ve got to pay out of your own pocket privately.

Changing how I look at my thoughts and outside events in my life, along with talk therapy, exercise, mindfulness meditation and focusing on the now have really made some improvements in my life.

Will it make it better? Probably yes, but the way of thinking remains. Sometimes, like in my case, the situation cannot be changed only how I deal with it. If I can learn to be at peace in bad circumstances, that makes making changes to get better much easier

I can’t disagree with this, but as stated above, he needs to be susceptible to open himself up before it would be of benefit to him. I’m studying studying counselling and psychology in college. It’s not a miracle cure and isn’t for everyone.

No its not because I dont think it is working I just have never liked to exercise un less its getting exercise from playing a sport it just bores me to death and fells like a chore and that was per depression.

Sport isn’t exercise though, not really. Sport is more of a hobby; something active that you enjoy. Whilst people can enjoy excessive, that isn’t the purpose of it. You’re supposed to do it to look after yourself; both physically and mentally. No pain, no gain, and if, as you’ve said, you’re doing your workout from home which has benefits, but also can have you more relaxed, especially when watching tv in the process. This is my opinion at least; if you’re going to work out at home the only distraction you should allow yourself is music, but even then it should be more background music rather than something that’ll actually distract you.

Its not hard to ride a elliptical and watch tv at the same time has I am facing the tv any way.

It should be.

With the total gym it has 12 levels of resetics the legs lower body I can do at 12. The upper body I can do at 8 and when I first started I was lower than that. I may be able to go up to 9 if I keep at it. For lower body I do leg press and ham string streath/life kind of thing. For upper I do like the row and pull ups and a few other things.

Do you have a Barbell and/or Squat rack? I’d consider the compound exercises if you can. Superset fashion.

 

[spiderman2]

Do intermittent fasting as well to help with diet. Set aside an 8 hours period through the day and only eat during that period. Fast for the other 16 hours.

I dont get the whole fasting thing its not healthly and if I did that during those 8 hours I would be eating a crazy amount of food has a result. So I would be eating more and kind of hard to do if you work at all. Its not really how much I eat. I dont really snake and I eat your standard 3 meals a day. I have a average apities has long has I can eat at normal times. If I eat a late lunch or dinner or something than I tend to fell sick and need to eat a lot of food to not be hungry but that is why I dont do that. My main problem is the eating ice cream, cookies etc just adds a lot more calories and extra sugar.

 

[jmc]

You're not thinking long term mate. It's very easy to get discouraged when you put effort into something but feel like you're not getting anywhere. The truth is whatever effort you're putting in means you're already getting somewhere better than where you were before. You've got to be open to what can be, not what you see in the present moment. Have a sugar issue? Then start thinking about what your life will be life without it. I can guarantee you this - the moment you do notice change it will spur you on to do more, that's because you're finally seeing results. Results don't happen the next day, most of the time you don't even noticed when they do happen. One day you wake up and for some reason your shirt suddenly seems a lot looser, you energy levels seem a lot higher, your breathing seems a lot clearer. The moment you start to doubt you're making in roads is the moment you stop and tell yourself you're not done yet, because here's the truth - your entire life is one massive work in progress. You have to be in a consistent state of self improvement. That is the only way you can manage your situation. You have to accept the long term aspect of what everyone here is recommending to you. Everyone here has been talking to you for days and not once have you made any positive steps to address the issues. Stop putting roadblocks in front of every recommendation we're all giving you, start doing these changes now. The moment you commit is the moment you start to change your life for the better. So what's it going to be?

 

[spiderman2]

Yes, he can, but he needs to want it to work first; there’s no point him paying a counsellor simply to sit and complain about him not being able to change if he’s not willing to make the hard choices. It’s just throwing money away otherwise, and it doesn’t sound as though he’s necessarily in a financial position to do that.

I know in the UK at least there’s the NHS which offers free counselling services, but there’s a long waiting list. Otherwise you’ve got to pay out of your own pocket privately.

I can’t disagree with this, but as stated above, he needs to be susceptible to open himself up before it would be of benefit to him. I’m studying studying counselling and psychology in college. It’s not a miracle cure and isn’t for everyone.

Sport isn’t exercise though, not really. Sport is more of a hobby; something active that you enjoy. Whilst people can enjoy excessive, that isn’t the purpose of it. You’re supposed to do it to look after yourself; both physically and mentally. No pain, no gain, and if, as you’ve said, you’re doing your workout from home which has benefits, but also can have you more relaxed, especially when watching tv in the process. This is my opinion at least; if you’re going to work out at home the only distraction you should allow yourself is music, but even then it should be more background music rather than something that’ll actually distract you.

It should be.

Do you have a Barbell and/or Squat rack? I’d consider the compound exercises if you can. Superset fashion.

Yes sports is a hobby but my point is if you are doing a sport you are getting exercise now like how hard that exercise is and how many Calories you are burnring will depend on what you are doing has like playing basketball you are going to burn off more than playing golf were you are mostly just walking where basketball you are going to be running much more. Yes I get the purpose of exercise is for health not for enjoyment. All I was saying is its not a enjoyment at all for me and like I said even when I had zero depression and zero anxenity meaning any time I was in school before I had to start working I still hated exercising just fells like a chore and the depression dont make it easier now. Working out at home is not a distraction I dont mean its easy in that I dont get tired or sweaty or sore or anything. I mean its not hard to mental focus ridding a bike or something while watching tv its really not even different than if you are not watching tv. When I was younger like before working when you have way more free time I got a lot of exercise has I would play basketball a lot. But even then my stamina was not good, and I would have to play for a little take a break, and then play a little bit more again. When I exercise I have a hard time breathing because of my astma and I hate that because it like limits how much I can exercise and so if I didn't have that I could go a little bit longer and burn more Calories. Also I dont known if its because of the hard time breathing and maybe that makes it so I dont get has much oxygen to my muscles or what but when I exercise I have a hard time with crapping up more so with the cardio I crap up in the legs like ham stream area, and also on the sides of my stomach and that would happend even when I was much younger and not over weight has I used to be really skiny before I gained like 100 lbs from 5th-8th grade.

 

[spiderman2]

You're not thinking long term mate. It's very easy to get discouraged when you put effort into something but feel like you're not getting anywhere. The truth is whatever effort you're putting in means you're already getting somewhere better than where you were before. You've got to be open to what can be, not what you see in the present moment. Have a sugar issue? Then start thinking about what your life will be life without it. I can guarantee you this - the moment you do notice change it will spur you on to do more, that's because you're finally seeing results. Results don't happen the next day, most of the time you don't even noticed when they do happen. One day you wake up and for some reason your shirt suddenly seems a lot looser, you energy levels seem a lot higher, your breathing seems a lot clearer. The moment you start to doubt you're making in roads is the moment you stop and tell yourself you're not done yet, because here's the truth - your entire life is one massive work in progress. You have to be in a consistent state of self improvement. That is the only way you can manage your situation. You have to accept the long term aspect of what everyone here is recommending to you. Everyone here has been talking to you for days and not once have you made any positive steps to address the issues. Stop putting roadblocks in front of every recommendation we're all giving you, start doing these changes now. The moment you commit is the moment you start to change your life for the better. So what's it going to be?

I need to be more patchent and not worry about getting results right away. Several months back I had like a month were I was really doing a good job but only lost like 2 lbs and because of the fursations in life and not seeing results faster I than ended up giving in and had way to much sugar. Got to stop and not worry about over night results as I known losing weight takes time and being that I am like 30 lbs over weight not like 200 or something I am not going to lose like 3 lbs in one week has the more over weight you are the easier it is to lose weight at first has you have to be consuming a lot of calories to maintain a weight that is like 200 over weight. I known I could eat like nothing but a apple and a peace of bread ever day and I wouldn't lose more than like 3 in a week but any weight is good and if I could lose like 2lbs a month over time that does add up. I need to not worry if I go like 2 weeks doing really good and have not lose any weight yet.

 

[X Knight]

Yes sports is a hobby but my point is if you are doing a sport you are getting exercise now like how hard that exercise is and how many Calories you are burnring will depend on what you are doing has like playing basketball you are going to burn off more than playing golf were you are mostly just walking where basketball you are going to be running much more. Yes I get the purpose of exercise is for health not for enjoyment. All I was saying is its not a enjoyment at all for me and like I said even when I had zero depression and zero anxenity meaning any time I was in school before I had to start working I still hated exercising just fells like a chore and the depression dont make it easier now. Working out at home is not a distraction I dont mean its easy in that I dont get tired or sweaty or sore or anything. I mean its not hard to mental focus ridding a bike or something while watching tv its really not even different than if you are not watching tv. When I was younger like before working when you have way more free time I got a lot of exercise has I would play basketball a lot. But even then my stamina was not good, and I would have to play for a little take a break, and then play a little bit more again. When I exercise I have a hard time breathing because of my astma and I hate that because it like limits how much I can exercise and so if I didn't have that I could go a little bit longer and burn more Calories. Also I dont known if its because of the hard time breathing and maybe that makes it so I dont get has much oxygen to my muscles or what but when I exercise I have a hard time with crapping up more so with the cardio I crap up in the legs like ham stream area, and also on the sides of my stomach and that would happend even when I was much younger and not over weight has I used to be really skiny before I gained like 100 lbs from 5th-8th grade.

I need to be more patchent and not worry about getting results right away. Several months back I had like a month were I was really doing a good job but only lost like 2 lbs and because of the fursations in life and not seeing results faster I than ended up giving in and had way to much sugar. Got to stop and not worry about over night results as I known losing weight takes time and being that I am like 30 lbs over weight not like 200 or something I am not going to lose like 3 lbs in one week has the more over weight you are the easier it is to lose weight at first has you have to be consuming a lot of calories to maintain a weight that is like 200 over weight. I known I could eat like nothing but a apple and a peace of bread ever day and I wouldn't lose more than like 3 in a week but any weight is good and if I could lose like 2lbs a month over time that does add up. I need to not worry if I go like 2 weeks doing really good and have not lose any weight yet.

you are trying, I see that. and I know how frustrating and discouraging it can be to not see results right away. But like others have said, you have to be patient and keep the long term picture/goal in mind.

I can also relate to consuming large amounts of sweets fast. When you buy a whole bag of Reeses PB Cups and it's gone in a few days and there's only 1 person........yeah, that's not a good sign. haha

Total Gym is good, though it may actually be counterproductive to spend 50 minutes on an elliptical until you are tired. Too much or too long exercise/cardio can actually be counterproductive, especially if you haven't been seeing meaningful results.

If you like working out at home and in front of tv, have you considered ( or tried ) using a Work Out DVD that you can follow along with? Beachbody, the people behind the P90X workouts, offer a variety of workout programs for a variety of fitness levels. These may help as they provide a workout schedule and eating/meal plans and overall provide structure.

One good one that's geared more towards beginners is their 21 Day Fix program.

https://www.teambeachbody.com/shop/us/b/fitness/21dayfix

What's good about 21 Day Fix is that you only focus on 3 weeks (21 days) at a time, which is an easier, less daunting goal than trying to stick with a program for 90 days. You workout and dial in your nutrition for 3 weeks, then take 1 week off. Then you can repeat for another 21 days, etc.

The 21DF workouts are also shorter - 30 minutes each with a good mixture and variety of exercises. And you only need dumbbells ( or bands ) for the workouts. On the eating side, this program uses the "Portion Control" system which teaches you how to portion size your food and gives you a set of containers to measure out and size your meals.

You don't have to buy any of Beachbody's shakes or supplements. Just get the $60 package that includes the 21 Day Fix and Fix Extreme dvds, containers, and booklets. That's a pretty reasonable price, imo.

If you don't want to follow the workout, if nothing else, look into the idea of portion control or portion sizing. that alone may help you.

hope this helps, man. hang in there.

 

[jmc]

I need to be more patchent and not worry about getting results right away. Several months back I had like a month were I was really doing a good job but only lost like 2 lbs and because of the fursations in life and not seeing results faster I than ended up giving in and had way to much sugar. Got to stop and not worry about over night results as I known losing weight takes time and being that I am like 30 lbs over weight not like 200 or something I am not going to lose like 3 lbs in one week has the more over weight you are the easier it is to lose weight at first has you have to be consuming a lot of calories to maintain a weight that is like 200 over weight. I known I could eat like nothing but a apple and a peace of bread ever day and I wouldn't lose more than like 3 in a week but any weight is good and if I could lose like 2lbs a month over time that does add up. I need to not worry if I go like 2 weeks doing really good and have not lose any weight yet.

Well, that's a start at least. I want you to consider the intermittent fasting as well. You'll be surprised how much weight you can lose by sticking to an 8 hour window for eating. You're better off overeating during that window than snacking on something at 9pm at night. You don't have to go crazy restricting your diet, just eat better. A grown adult needs about 17,000 calories per week to maintain their weight, and you need to shave off about 2000 calories to lose about 0.5kg, or just a little over 1 Pound per week. Add in exercise and you could probably lose up to 1.2 Pounds a week, but don't over do it, you don't want to drop too much weight too quickly. A very simple diet I went on for a while a few years ago help drop weight relatively quickly. I did this twice daily:

One chicken breast (pan fried in olive oil)
2 handfuls of Lettuce
5 or 6 chopped Sun Dried Tomatoes
Handful of diced cheese
Quarter Red Capsicum diced (or Red Bell Pepper as I think you call it)
Drizzle of Balsamic Vinegar
Salt and Pepper to taste
Fresh Full Cream Milk (1 and half cups)

That's a high protein meal, simple to prepare, and I can tell you tastes bloody delicious. Twice daily. In between I would eat nuts or pumpkin seeds, little bits of fruit here and there, berries, apples, oranges. If you get a craving for something sweet buy some low sugar protein bars. I don't know if you can get these were you live but I recommend these bars: HIGH PROTEIN Bar 90G (Box of 12 Bars) – Musashi. Or something along these lines. Next to no sugar, chocolate flavoured, and handy to have around if you start getting peckish. But feel free to make meals more calorie dense every second day. If you stick to the same meal every day of the week you're body will adapt and you'll stop losing weight. So mix it up, aim for 1500 calories one day, 2000 the next, 1600 day 3, etc. You want a net loss for the whole week, not each day. Drink green tea also, it will help suppress hunger. So, I hope this info helps.

 

[X Knight]

also, @spiderman2 I believe you mentioned you are drinking smoothies to get your serving of veggies and fruit.

are you making those smoothies at home? if not, I'd be careful because most of the smoothies found at stores and "smoothie shops" are really loaded with sugar. So you think you are drinking something healthier but you are really bombing your body with lots of sugar. I used to drink smoothies from the smoothie shop, too, until I found out just how much sugar ( and calories ) were in that stuff.

so just be careful there.

 

[jmc]

Better off making your own.

 

[spiderman2]

also, @spiderman2 I believe you mentioned you are drinking smoothies to get your serving of veggies and fruit.

are you making those smoothies at home? if not, I'd be careful because most of the smoothies found at stores and "smoothie shops" are really loaded with sugar. So you think you are drinking something healthier but you are really bombing your body with lots of sugar. I used to drink smoothies from the smoothie shop, too, until I found out just how much sugar ( and calories ) were in that stuff.

so just be careful there.

Yes at home a no that smoothies and juice from like store and such tend to have a lot of added sugar raither than being all natural

 

[BoredGuy]

anybody know of good free-or-cheap psychological services for people who are broke AF and can't afford standard therapy??

 

[MissMarvelous]

anybody know of good free-or-cheap psychological services for people who are broke AF and can't afford standard therapy??

Do you need it to be on a daily basis? Otherwise, I would suggest this space! And even though, you can still come to this space everyday and put what your are going through into words.

It works for most of us and there's always someone willing to help. And if you prefer it, in order to have some "privacy", you can connect with some fellas via PM.

 

[BoredGuy]

it's not a daily need necessarily, but it would be nice to have some advice on cognitive behavioral therapy and stuff like that

and what do you mean "fellas", you sayin the ladies can't relate? lol

 

[MissMarvelous]

and what do you mean "fellas", you sayin the ladies can't relate? lol

You'd be surprised! But most of the members are guys and the rest of the girls usually are not around here.

cognitive behavioral therapy and stuff like that

This is very specific, I have not idea if a member can help you with this specifically but give it a try! Maybe there is.

 

[BoredGuy]

yeah, that's why I was wondering if anyone knew about some low cost IRL therapy services
I feel like online and over-the-phone services can only get you so far

 

[MissMarvelous]

Good luck with that! I hope someone reaches out

 

[Lighthouse]

anybody know of good free-or-cheap psychological services for people who are broke AF and can't afford standard therapy??

If you have a doctor you see, he'd be the first one I'd ask. He/she can usually refer you to affordable services, and give you options. There is a site called BetterHelp that can connect you to therapists. There was some controversy over their promotions, but I don't know of any other site that does this, though there might be others I'm unaware of.

Also, there are therapy workbooks you can buy online through Amazon and other places. Therapists use these with their patients, but if you can't afford a therapist or don't have mental health coverage in your insurance, you might want to give it a try solo. This is the book I've been working through with my therapist.
Amazon product

 

[jmc]

As much **** as he gets from some quarters of the internet I'd recommend looking into Jordan Peterson's psychological lectures on youtube if you want some pretty decent free advice. A lot of it is very much basic 'dad' advice but if that's something you're lacking in your life then it's a good starting place. I'd also recommend Kati Morton's youtube channel, she's a licensed therapist, she doesn't go into as much depth and detail as Peterson but she covers a wide range of topics that may be of use. There's a bunch of good self help books too.