Discussion in 'SHH Community Forum' started by Hotwire, Jun 9, 2018.
I'm sorry to hear that. Is there anyone close by you can go talk to?
Thanks squeek, much appreciated. Am seeing a therapist each week, and processing from there. As far as talking to friends or family, only I can sort this out really.
A way can be open years from now, the thought helps some people in defeating depression.
I know the expression "it gets better" sounds trite, but it's most often true. You just gotta hang in there.
I can't wait that long SA I'm afraid. Without explaining, it's difficult to process on here as such.
Waiting in fact is and has been part of the problem.
I haven't been doing well lately. Last year my girlfriend left me. It was sudden and left me stunned. We had an apartment together that I could not afford on my own. The only option I had was to room with a buddy in my hometown. This took me from living in a big city (which I love) to moving back to a teeny tiny small town. It's isolated me. I spend 90% of my time alone. It's made me quick to anger and has given a bullhorn to my depression. I'm struggling to figure out how to afford living back in the city and leaving this blackhole of a small town I'm in. I spend a lot of days terrified that this town is going to kill me. The bleak, depressed boredom of this place is going to push me to suicide and there are days I don't know if I can hold out.
I can relate to this, everybody's story is their own and I am sorry to hear about your situation MM, thoughts to you.
Please don't let the walls creep in on you, try & re-establish what made you who you are.
Due to illness related to my Type 1 Diabetes, over the last 4 years my life has narrowed so much and I am isolated too, its a horrible sensation & feeling, trying to re-engage is a really, really tough process.
Try & re-connect with aspects of your small town you have some relevance with or feel comfortable with and build from there.
I've been on dialysis for about a year and a half and I'm starting to fall into a strong depression. I've been on it before when I was 16, but this time feels a lot worst. Back then I felt like I had things to look forward to. Now I'm 36, I'm forced to live with my parents, I have no money, no girlfriend, and don't feel like I have much to look forward to anymore. I'm tired all of the time and spend most of my time lying down. People with my end stage renal disease aren't known for having long lifespans, and I'm starting to feel like I've completely failed with the little time I was given.
LH, please above all, don't feel you have failed. There is NO failure with what you face on a day to day basis.
We are of similar age bracket and in this thread, if we are posting here, it means one feels as if they have lost something, whether it be time, identity, a part of themselves.
To post in here is brave, to post in here is too say 'I want to be heard, I want to NOT give in'.
You have achieved so much, take great cause in that and what you have faced.
Look at the things that you can still achieve within the remit of your current health.
Wishing you all the best.
Yeah, LH. There's people rooting for you like us who are happy to have you here.
What are your points of interest and do you have any hobbies, something that really lights you up when you do or think about it?
I can appreciate how horrible this must have been for you. Did you have to quit your job? Or do you commute?
Are there any reasonable rental costs in the big city that you want to live in? Even a "shoebox" apartment? You would be amazed at how efficiently you can use a small space. Keep looking. Or even create an ad for a roommate. I know how crappy it can be to live with someone you don't know or don't fully trust, but maybe you can be picky?
I just clicked on this thread and am truly feeling the pain all of you guys and gals are experiencing. For whatever this thread can offer in terms of connection and talking, I'm glad it's here. My thoughts and prayers are with you, deeply and sincerely.
I lost my city apartment because I'm on a fixed income due to a disability and simply couldn't afford where I was living. I'm currently trying to get back to the city, but it's involving paying off debts so I have the money to do it. It's tough to pay down debts with a fixed amount of money, but I'm gonna do it. I feel like my life is literally depending on it.
I'm going back to my crappy supermarket job. I left it a year and a half ago to go to a job that paid less but was much less stressful. That store was poorly managed and sales were not good. Yet the company insisted on opening new stores in our area, killing us further. I quit and moved to an office job, which I've always wanted. It was a pay raise and was closer to home. It didn't work out and I quit. That was a few weeks ago and the bills are piling up. My wife also tells me we are $6000 in credit card debt. She and I have had sex twice this year, and it doesn't interest her. I've ranted about that in the relationship thread.
Meanwhile I have a master's degree from five years ago that has been totally useless in getting me a job. So that was tens of thousands of dollars down the drain.
Oh, and dad invited my brother to his father's day dinner but not me.
Sorry to hear that.
I have found that ODAAT is how I handle things. One Day At A Time.
None of us are guaranteed tomorrow. Each day decide what you can do that is the most important thing and conquer that one thing.
That way you can feel that you have accomplished something each day and that can help lift your mood.
Also - maybe try finding things you are looking forward to that are in the future. See those as markers for your journey. That way you have something to look forward to.
Suggestions for you to consider. Keep pressing on.
Hob. You have a lot of stuff going on.
I would suggest you try to handle things one at a time. I have found that helps me handle the various stresses that I am trying to deal with.
If you were trying to climb a mountain you have to take each part a piece - a step at a time.
For you debt issue you should check out the book by Dave Ramsey - https://www.daveramsey.com/store/product/the-total-money-makeover-book-by-dave-ramsey
That will show you how to attack your debt and get it down and manage your finances.
For work have you checked out LinkedIn? Lots of great connections there and ways to both look for work and connect with people who may be looking to hire.
As for your father. You can't control other people. You can only control you. IF you want to find out why he did that, ask him. Straight up lay out what you feel and why that upset you and find out why he didn't ask you. Don't guess. Ask the man why he did that. Then you know what he was thinking and you clear the air with him.
Just tackle one thing at a time.
You can't juggle fifty balls at the same time. For your consideration.
Just know that you are loved and that you can get through.
ODAAT. Keep #wrasslin and keep pressin on. Don't give up just keep working your way through
I look back at where I was and am thankful for where I am. I have a long way and lots to deal with still
but I am not the same person I was 10 years ago and I got through stuff I didn't think I could.
You can do it.
Matt - I am sorry you are struggling. I read this book and it might help you out.
When we get down we can start 'catastrophizing' - this book helped me with that. How to change my perspective and that helps you find ways to overcome the challenges each day. For your consideration.
Hang in there. You can overcome all the challenges. You can. Just keep pressing on.
Yup. Lean on others and when you are stronger they can lean on you.
Some of the sayings are trite - but there is truth in them.
Sorry about your pain Squeek. I know a few people who have to deal with that and it sucks. I am thankful I have my health but I have some problems that I deal with that are minor compared to yours.
#wrasslin for ya.
Thanks C R, very kind.
Posting this for it's beauty....