Depression and Suicide

Discussion in 'SHH Community Forum' started by Hotwire, Jun 9, 2018.

  1. Hotwire

    Hotwire Dealin' W/ Demons

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    Close. It's more like they have their own lives and even when our schedules line up, "something" comes up and they cancel. I'm probably overreacting but it still hurts.

    We did date night for Captain Marvel. Everything seemed fine, but once we were gone, back to the same routine. Part of the problem is, too deal with her trauma and subsequent PTSD, she picked up disassociative disorder. She goes into her own world to hide from everything that could possibly trigger her. Including me.

    She has a therapist and I sit in on her sessions on occasion.
     
  2. Flash525

    Flash525 The Scarlet Messenger

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    That's got to be frustrating, but at the same time, it may be they're cancelling for legitimate reasons. It probably just seems like they're bailing on you because of your circumstances. Do you usually plan smaller gatherings, or larger ones? It may be an idea to organise something with a group, that way if one or two people drop, the others will still attend - assuming here that all parties would normally socialise with each other.

    Maybe the cinema wasn't such a great suggestion - sitting in the dark in silence for two or more hours, heh. What about a walk? Can't beat a nice stroll on a sunny day. I can't imagine quite what you're dealing with cause I don't have the experience to reflect on, but it seems (a) solution is to make her feel comfortable in her own skin so to speak. What has changed (presumably recently) that's brought all this on? You said she was assaulted by her father, but he's long dead now, right? You've no doubt had happy times together else you'd not be man and wife, so where did it start to go wrong?

    Do they help? Do you think they help her? Do they help you?
     
  3. the last son

    the last son Registered

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    I relapsed on Saturday after 9 weeks sober. Didn't drink too much only a couple. I don't feel great, but am moving forward. Should I tell my family? I didn't tell them because I don't want to worry them.
     
  4. MissMarvelous87

    MissMarvelous87 Registered

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    What triggered it this time? If I may ask.
     
  5. MissMarvelous87

    MissMarvelous87 Registered

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    Also, I know this is a very delicate subject and I don't know how much information you are ok sharing with us but what is it that you are looking for whenever you drink? Does it work like anesthesia for you?
     
  6. the last son

    the last son Registered

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    I'll get into details later, but just need advice if I should tell my family.
     
  7. MissMarvelous87

    MissMarvelous87 Registered

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    Yes, of course.

    They deserve the opportunity to help you with this, clearly you are struggling to keep up. They will help you, no matter what.
     
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  8. NHawk19

    NHawk19 insert witty comment

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    Marvelous got it right. If you're asking here I think you know you should.
     
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  9. the last son

    the last son Registered

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    I'm thinking of keeping it to myself because my family worries. I don't want my mom to worry.
     
  10. MissMarvelous87

    MissMarvelous87 Registered

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    You are the most precious thing for her, don't deny her the opportunity to help her child. I bet she already knows but must be giving you some space and she is waiting for you.

    If you start to close again, then you will probably end up by giving up and surrender.
     
  11. NHawk19

    NHawk19 insert witty comment

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    The best day to get help was yesterday. The second best is today. So just say you won't drink today. You don't have to tell them right away if you'd like to clean up a little, but you still should.

    They'll worry sure. But they may also take it as a good sign that you recognize that you screwed up and want help.
     
  12. the last son

    the last son Registered

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    I told my mom. I told her I'm not going to cry about yesterday and move forward. She was disappointed in me, asked how much I had and said ok.
     
  13. MissMarvelous87

    MissMarvelous87 Registered

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    Did she say she was dissapointed or you are saying it?
     
  14. the last son

    the last son Registered

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    I am. She asked am I going to be ok am I ready to start drinking heavy again? She said thanks for telling her, but of course she's worried now.
     
  15. Hotwire

    Hotwire Dealin' W/ Demons

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    If you were the parent, would you want your child to tell you?

    I don't know much about your story here, but it seems she has an alcoholic son. Whether you tell her anything or not, she's already worried. She already assumes the worst every time the phone rings. Talking to her, telling her what's going on, that helps her more than you can realize. It takes the unknown out of the equation. Nothing worries parents more than not knowing. Our imaginations full in the blanks based on past experiences. Given yours, you can imagine what she thinks up. She's more likely disappointed in herself than in you. I'd suggest counseling for you both, together.
     
    #190 Hotwire, Mar 25, 2019
    Last edited: Mar 25, 2019
  16. Mandon Knight

    Mandon Knight NCC-1701

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    As someone who has experienced alcohol dependency, please, my advice ? Tell your family, be open to them, I hid mine away (or at least they knew what was happening but couldn't get 'access to me'), it took others to 'deliver me' to them but I needed that flow of movement, I would advise, let them in, yes they'll worry, but I know from history, they'll worry more by not being included.
     
  17. spiderman2

    spiderman2 Registered

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    Just loss my Grandma tonight after 6 years with dempesia. She needed to go has she had went way down hill the last few years heck even just in the last few months so its good that she is not in pain and suffering any more but its still hard. I have always been close with both my grandparents has they baby sat me going up. I dont think I have went more than like 2 months with out seeing either one of them. First person I have loss that I have been close to has well and I fell really bad for my grandpa after there 62 years of marriage they had. She was just put in a rest home like 5 days ago and we where able to get like all the family there tonight to grive like just after she passed but we didn't get to see her she passed in her sleep. Just felling a lot of emotions right now and its about 5 am and I have gotten zero sleep but I am so tried.
     
  18. Flash525

    Flash525 The Scarlet Messenger

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    Remember the good times @spiderman2 , that's what she'll likely want you to do. :-) Hope you get some sleep, and that you feel ... better when you wake.
     
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  19. spiderman2

    spiderman2 Registered

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    Only sleep from like 5:30-8:30 this morning so tried and emotions hitting me again.
     
  20. Flash525

    Flash525 The Scarlet Messenger

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    That’s only natural, and whilst I’m sure you’ve heard this before, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now; it’ll get better. Emotions are a funny thing and work in weird ways.
     
  21. spiderman2

    spiderman2 Registered

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    Yeah just got home from my Grandpa's with most of my family and may try to go to bed soon. I never go to bed even close to this kind of time but I am so tried. I was almost like falling asleep like 3 hours ago and was felling better at the moment but now emotions are picking back up. My grandpas seemed to be doing better. I think he is just like relived that she is not having to suffer any more that she is at peace but I am sure it will go in waves for him to. 2 of my Aunts are spending the night with him tonight so that is good and I will be making sure to be there a lot to so we can like cry together. First time I have really had to grive before so I dont really known what this whole thing is like. Before this only time I really had to grive before was when I lost my dog years ago that I grew up with had him from the time I was 6-19 and I still miss that dog and that was hard enough but first time griving over a person I am close to. Before this people in my family that had past where either people I never meat before or people I only saw once in a while. Taking next week of from work so I can cleay my head some and just focus on school.
     
  22. Flash525

    Flash525 The Scarlet Messenger

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    I’ve lost relatives in the past, though it’s always going to be harder the closer you are to someone, or in some cases, the closer you feel to someone; some people for example become emotional after the loss of an artist/singer, public figure or icon etc because, even though they may never have met said person, they’ve made an emotional connection with them.

    Thus far it’s only been my grandparents that I’ve noticed their absence, though it was some years ago now. I dread the day my parents depart though, and I hope it isn’t for years, if not decades to come.

    That’s probably a good thing, though don’t let yourself dwell. Whether it’s bereavement, a relationship breakup or something else entirely, taking some personal time has pros and cons; it’s great to clear your head but you need to stay busy doing so. If you don’t get on with stuff, you’ll just end up thinking too much about what you’re trying to avoid, which’ll make it worse.

    Get out, go for a run, ride, maybe go wild in the gym or even just a walk - nothing beats fresh air and mobility. If you’d rather stay in, do some cooking or have a spring clean or something.

    Hope you feel better in the days, and weeks to come.
     
  23. spiderman2

    spiderman2 Registered

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    Sleept much better last night sleept from like 10 to like 6 last night straight and normally I would never been able to go to sleep that early has I am not a morning person and I am much more of a night person so normally I cant really go to bed before like 11 has I will be up all night only like 2 hours later if I do. I got up at 10:30 this morning but didn't sleep to well after 6 unfouctatley. Yeah trying to not dwell on it but yeah dont known how good it would be for me to be at work right now has my normal depression and stress is being at work has I hate my job and have not been able to find another one and fell trapped. So being at the place that drives me nuts already + having to deal with this would not be good. I am taking a few weeks of vacation in a few weeks to.

    I want to see the movie dumbo but I am going to wait like a week or so because I dont known if I want to watch any thing that has any kind of sad stuff in it has that might just set my off more. I am felling a lot better this morning at least right now. I may work on some school stuff in the next few days. I have some school stuff that is due in a few weeks so got plenty of time to do it but may at least get a start on it. I am going to hang out with a few friends tonight to like destract me. Will probly go spend some more time with my grandpa in the next few days or so. Maybe I will exercise some later today has I havnt the last 2 days has it was wesday night I lost my grandma and was trying to see her earlier in the day and than yesterday was with family all day and was to sad and tried to do any thing. Watching hokey right now.
     
  24. Mandon Knight

    Mandon Knight NCC-1701

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  25. spiderman2

    spiderman2 Registered

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    Been off work on vacation for like 2 weeks have to go back to work tomorrow need to get to bed have only about 6 hours and 14 minutes and I have to go back to work. The anxentiy, depression and stress I am felling now has I cant stand my job but am stuck because I have been trying to find a new job sense august of 2012 but cant find any thing. I dont buy the whole job market/un employment rate being good to be true no way or I would have found a new job years ago already.
     

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