#5. Holy Land Experience, With Crucifixion
On the surface, there shouldn't be anything terribly disturbing about the Christian theme park
Holy Land Experience, located just a few miles from
Disney World. Just like Disney, Holy Land Experience has a cast of characters wandering among the children, making friends and posing for pictures, except instead of Goofy and Mickey Mouse, it's Pontius Pilate and Jesus Christ.
But the park is not only staunch in its commitment to the lessons of the Bible; it is staunch in its commitment to the plot as well. So, twice a day, that lovable character with whom the kids shared hugs and laughs, and who told them to love their neighbors and turn cheeks, is reduced to a beaten, bloodied pulp and paraded through the park in a pageantry of suffering.
While the parades at Disney World, just a few streets over, consist of fireworks, floats and the promise of some candy thrown into the crowd, this one consists of one limping man tied to a plank of wood and the promise of some blood splattering into the crowd. The culmination of the whole thing, of course, is the mascot being hung from a cross and slowly dying.
It would probably be quicker to make a list of the people who
wouldn't be offended by this reenactment. The park's kindest critics have called it "
kitschy." The other critics who aren't too stunned to speak have called it a tasteless money grab through blatant exploitation of faith, probably. Surely at least someone has said that.
But hey, after watching Christ die, you can head to the Centurion Treats snack bar for an ice cream sandwich or to the "Celebrate Jesus - Karaoke" show to really take your mind off the public torture and murder you just witnessed. Oh, and did we mention there's a climbing wall?