Epic Things You've Actually Said...

[Carcharodon]

Instead of "Epic Things You've Actually Said"....someone should make a
"Things You've Said That Were ACTUALLY Epic" thread.

You're just jealous of our epic-ness.

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

I'm actually very, very, super un-jealous of someone who thinks he just defecated while his pants were still on.

 

[DV8]

I was talking to this chick online; IM'ing her all the time a while back, and despite numerous attempts to persuade her to email me a pic, she wouldn't do it . . . I eventually told her "no pic, no dik" LOL! she emailed me the pic and she was hideous

 

[Carcharodon]

I'm actually very, very, super un-jealous of someone who thinks he just defecated while his pants were still on.

I sharted. Tell me that's never happened to you.

For what it's worth, I didn't actually poo myself. It was just...moist.

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

I sharted. Tell me that's never happened to you.

For what it's worth, I didn't actually poo myself. It was just...moist.

So it's

The Odyssey
The Star Wars Saga
Lord of the Rings
You pooed a little in your pants


Mmmkay

 

[Eggyman]

I sharted. Tell me that's never happened to you.

For what it's worth, I didn't actually poo myself. It was just...moist.

So it's

The Odyssey
The Star Wars Saga
Lord of the Rings
You pooed a little in your pants


Mmmkay

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha oooooeeeee hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha haha ha ha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahah wait wait hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

 

[WorthyStevens]

Co-worker: I'll get them to come early. (along those lines)

Me: That's what she said.

 

[Drakon]

"Dave, could you be any cuter?"

"If I were covered in kittens."

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

You Live.

 

[Sun_Down]

*Looks down at signature*

Hm.

 

[Gilpesh]

Someone said that a female friend of theirs had her birthday and there was a forecast of 8-10 inches of snow. I came back with:

"I don't think she would mind a good 8-10 inches on her birthday."









And Sun_Down must agree, that was over extraordinary.

 

[Carcharodon]

So it's

The Odyssey
The Star Wars Saga
Lord of the Rings
You pooed a little in your pants


Mmmkay

I'd rate, "You pooed a little in your pants," a couple notches above the Star Wars Saga...but other than that you're spot on.

 

[Carcharodon]

*Looks down at signature*

Hm.

You're not teh epic. I'm so sorry. Batman's too skinny this time around.

 

[SLVRSR4]

Once I was on acid at the mall on Halloween. There was a lady there with a dog. In the mall. My friend Carey said (loudly) "You can't have dogs in the mall!" I replied, "Shut up man, she'd blind not deaf." About 5 minutes later we saw the same 'blind' chick sitting at a table reading a newspaper. I said to Carey, "I guess the dog's blind."

Illidan t:

 

[Sun_Down]

You're not teh epic. I'm so sorry.

*Looks down at signature*

...further proving point #3...

 

[Abaddon]

I don't think anything mentioned here was epic.

 

[The Original Bamfer]

I don't anything mentioned here was epic.

Translation?

 

[Abaddon]

Do you take some sort of pleasure in mocking my accent?

 

[The Original Bamfer]

Do you take some sort of pleasure in mocking my accent?

I have to get my jollies somewhere.

 

[Abaddon]

You're what's wrong with America.

 

[Whiskey Tango]

When I was 14 or so, I was sitting in the kitchen reading a book. My mom walked in and mentioned how much her back was hurting. Without looking away from my book, I said "If I was carrying around an ash that big, my back would be hurting too."

The convo might not have been epic but her response sure as bad place was!

 

[bullets]

wow . i hope you got an epic spanking.

 

[MaskedManJRK]

One of my friends once gave a theory on how one can have sex with a man without being gay: as long as the tip doesn't enter the ash.

 

[Showtime]

During my stint in high school, I was waiting for the bus one day and realized I didn't have any change. There was this girl who had quite alot of it, she was taking it out of this change heavy purse. I politely asked her to spare some change for the bus and she insisted she didn't have any. I told her that I saw the change in her purse and that I would pay her back tomorrow. It didn't work.

Now keep in mind this girl was severely overweight, and unfortunately I was one of the few people that actually talked to her that day. Andyway, this back and forth went on for a moment or too before I finally got mad. I told her if she didn't give me some change that I would "kick her fat around." I didn't just say it, I yelled it. Everybody heard, and they laughed and laughed. Needless to say she gave me some change.

It wasn't really epic, but it was funny at the time. Now that I think of it, I wondered why I was begging this girl for change? Was I to lazy to walk? Was I just forgetful or was I a hobo? Why was I so to this poor girl who just wanted to horde nickels for some reason?

 

[Abaddon]

One of my friends once gave a theory on how one can have sex with a man without being gay: as long as the tip doesn't enter the ash.

and that day you grew closer than ever.