Esteban

jimmy

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It's late, and this infomercial comes on. It has this guy who looks like Zoro wearing shades. His name is Esteban; he sells guitars.

Thing is, they call him a "master" -- a virtuoso -- guitarist. I can't help but laugh as he stumbles over chords, bends out of pitch, and struggles to keep in time with the band he has backing him up -- that is to say, the band that is covering his ass, making him sound good.

I can't believe he's trying to pass off his pathetic chops as "virtuosic".

Al Di Meola, Paco De Lucia, John McLaughlin. . . I guess that makes these guys amateurs.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEZrB_FDw4c&mode=related&search=
 
jimmy rhoads said:
It's late, and this infomercial comes on. It has this guy who looks like Zoro wearing shades. His name is Esteban; he sells guitars.

Thing is, they call him a "master" -- a virtuoso -- guitarist. I can't help but laugh as he stumbles over chords, bends out of pitch, and struggles to keep in time with the band he has backing him up -- that is to say, the band that is covering his ass, making him sound good.
wha....!?!?
you mean you HAVEN'T bought one of his Spanish Guitar lesson tapes!?
well, you just don't know what you're missing then, do you?:o
i pity you.
i really do.
 
I mean, I thought my 6 string arpeggios with taping, string skipping, alternate picked 64th notes, and Alan Holdsworth inspired legato style playing was hot stuff. . . .

But I didn't know he was THAT good! I'm gonna run out and buy it tomorrow. I wonder what sick and insane techniques he can teach me!?
 
I found this review of his guitar he hawks with that fat chick on the infomercials

Product: Esteban D-100 American Legacy
Price Paid: N/A
Submitted 04/21/2006 at 07:28pm by guitarman

Features : 1

* Finish (Satin, transparent, quilted top, flamed top, etc...)
* Body style (strat, tele, dreadnought, cutaway, thinline, etc...)
* Bridge style (Tune-O-Matic, Floyd Rose, Wilkinson, Tele-style, String-thru body, stop tailpiece, etc...)
* Tuners (Locking? Non-locking? brand of tuners - Sperzel, Gotoh, Grover, Schaller, etc...)
* Neck/Scale (Fat, Thin, Jumbo Frets, Rosewood, Maple, etc...)
* Any included accessories? (Case, gig bag, strap, cable, tools, humidifier, etc...)
* What year was it made? Where was is made? (Japan, Mexico, USA, etc...)
* How many frets?
* Solid-Top? Laminated top?
* Which controls are given (volume, tone, 5-way selector, 3-way, tap, etc...)?
* Pickup configuration? (S/S/H, H/H, S/H, Piezo, etc...)
* Make and model of pickups?
* Active or Passive electronics?
* Body and neck woods? (Maple, Mahogany, Alder, Ash, Basswood, Koa, Plywood, etc...)

Don't know when it was made, I only used it at a camp my sister went to. It appeared to be made from particle board at best. Honestly, I have seen toy guitars that were made better (that is if this is anything more than a toy guitar). The inlays are actually decals and on the one I played were half peeled off. The tuners can only be described using words I cannot utter in this review. Basically, its some strings on a cardbard box with some hazardous chemicals the likes of which are only legal in China sprayed onto it. On yeah, and the thing had a really nasty smell, like some sort of chemicals.

Sound : 1

* How does it suit your music style (and what is that style)?
* What amps and effects are you using it with?
* Is it noisy? On what settings?
* Rich/Full sound? Bright sound?
* What kind of sounds can the guitar make? How much variety?
* Likes and dislikes?

It sounded like rubber bands on a cardboard box. The action was so high that even I could hardly play it, and I am an experienced guitarist and active musician who has unusually large hands. Really though, just because it has six strings does not mean it actually sounds like a guitar.

Action, Fit, & Finish : 1

* How well was the guitar set-up at the factory? (How was the action?)
* How well were the pickups adjusted?
* Properly bookmatched top? Properly routed bridge?
* Did the guitar contain any flaws? (misaligned bracing, poorly filed fretwire, finish flaws, poor quality wood, rusted or oxidized hardware, loose tuning pegs, poorly cut nut, poorly fit saddle, noisy pickup selector, loose controls, etc...)

I would prefer not to go there, but I will say that this thing is probably a bio-hazard of some type as far as the finish. The fretboard appears to be junkwood covered with black die which rubs off on your hands as you play.

Reliability/Durability : 1

* Will this guitar withstand live playing?
* Does the hardware seem like it will last?
* Is the finish good enough to last, or does it seem thin and easy to wear off with lots of playing?
* Are the strap buttons solid?
* Can you depend on it?
* Would you use it on a gig without a backup?

Hardware is horrible. Tuners slip. Does not hold a tune. It appears to be assembled with common wood glue and on the one I used the bridge was ready to pop of (lifting severely). The frets can hurt you, as in make you bleed due to their sharpness. Actually playing this in front of people would be about as good an idea as walking into a pre-school wearing plastic rap (at least that's what its owner told me, and I agree).

Customer Support : 1

* Ever try and get it repaired? Was it under warranty
* How long is the warranty
* If you've dealt with the company, how helpful/friendly were they?

They speak a different language. Enough said.

Overall Rating : 1

* How long have you been playing? What other gear do you own?
* Is there something you wish you had asked before buying this guitar?
* If it were stolen or lost, would you buy it again or get something else?
* What do you love about it? What do you hate? What is your favorite feature?
* Did you compare it to other guitars? Which ones? Why did you choose this one?
* Anything you wish it had?
* Anything else you'd like to share?

I have been playing for about 8 years. I have taught lessons to various beginning guitarists. I own Guild, Yamaha, Larrivee, and Martin acoustics and Fender, Washburn, and Gibson electrics. This is absolutely the worst excuse for a guitar I have ever seen. It is even worse than those K-mart specials. You would be better off attaching strings to a cereal box (at least it that might be more durable). If you want to learn to play guitar, I would hope that you have enough sense not to order anything, expecially a musical instrument from a TV commercial. Here's my advice. If you want a guitar don't mail order one and don't buy one at K-mart or any other department store. Find an actual music store where you walk in and see keyboards and drums all over the room and guitar hanging from the walls and ask them what might be a good beginner guitar. Before you buy a guitar you should always play it, know where it's made and with what materials, and look it over thoroughly for any faulty workmanship. The absolute best thing to do is to find yourself a guitar teacher or an experienced musician and have them come with you to pick out a guitar. You'll probably end up with an Ibanez, an Alvarez, a Yamaha, or something similar. It will play well, sound good, and hold up reasonably well if you take care of it. It may not have electronics or fake inlays, but it will be a real musical instrument, and it will sound like one.
 
jimmy rhoads said:
But I didn't know he was THAT good! I'm gonna run out and buy it tomorrow. I wonder what sick and insane techniques he can teach me!?
well, all i can tell you is be sure to pick up
Esteban: The Power of Spanish Acoustic Shredding
it's un.be.lieve.able.
 
jimmy rhoads said:
It's late, and this infomercial comes on. It has this guy who looks like Zoro wearing shades. His name is Esteban; he sells guitars.

Thing is, they call him a "master" -- a virtuoso -- guitarist. I can't help but laugh as he stumbles over chords, bends out of pitch, and struggles to keep in time with the band he has backing him up -- that is to say, the band that is covering his ass, making him sound good.

I can't believe he's trying to pass off his pathetic chops as "virtuosic".

Al Di Meola, Paco De Lucia, John McLaughlin. . . I guess that makes these guys amateurs.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEZrB_FDw4c&mode=related&search=


Thanks for saying this.
As a guitarist, that guy makes me ill.
He sucks.
Inexplicably, he "sat in" with the band on David Letterman one night and ALL he did was strum chords in that same "flamenco" way.

C

G

F#minor (that one was a little tricky for him, but he managed okay)

:o
 
Batio%20Quad%20guitar.JPG
 
Actually, I'm not sure of the year. But good guitar shredding never goes out of style, unless you're Michael Angelo Batio (you know, because he wears a wig and all).
 
Sad thing is, I've actually met the guy.
 
Wilhelm-Scream said:
That must be because you're Straight.


album10.jpg
this is the 3rd time in 2 days that i have seen that damned picture.
NOOOOOOOOOO!!
surely this is a sign of the Apocalypse.
 
OMFG, that's anthology album cover -- that means they made MORE than one album!
 
heypapajinx said:
this is the 3rd time in 2 days that i have seen that damned picture.
NOOOOOOOOOO!!
surely this is a sign of the Apocalypse.

Sincerely, I am sorry.
 
jimmy rhoads said:
OMFG, that's anthology album cover -- that means they made MORE than one album!
but of course.
they were each born just to rock your world.... while wearing knee high leather boots and loin cloths.
 
My world is coming down on me. . . I must be EMO.

Come to think of it: the black clothes, the hat, the long hair, the sunglasses inside -- Esteban must be EMO!
 
heypapjinx said:
knee high leather boots and loin cloths

...and the one guy looks like he's fisting a fox or a raccoon which is not a cool look.
 
You're still looking at that picture?
 
Wilhelm-Scream said:
...and the one guy looks like he's fisting a fox or a raccoon which is not a cool look.
it's not a raccoon, it's a
cry.jpg
 
All this thread needs now is a picture of Morrissey.
 

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