Facebook - to friend or not to friend?

[Ugfugly]

Today I just got a request on Facebook from my father to add him as a friend. I haven't spoken to him in almost 20 years.

I always thought I would tell him to suck my *expletive* but now that I am actually faced with that decision I am torn. I do want to talk to him but I also want to pummel him for not acting like he cared all those years.
What would you all do?

 

[Scourge2099]

If my old man wanted to friend me on Facebook , I'd tell the bastard to f*** off. I've gotten by not seeing him for 21 years , so not seeing him for the rest of my life is fine.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

I've always felt that open, honest communication was always best, but I've never been in your situation, so I don't know man.

 

[Marx]

This is a tough situation, but it could be the beginning of a true relationship with your father. (Should you want one.)

 

[Figs]

Hmmm

I think you should, just to communicate and see if he's worth forgiving. I say this all on the grounds that you only live once and you don't want regrets wondering if it would have turned out all right.

 

[VampElvis]

First, you can always friend then unfriend him tomorrow if you want to be childish about it.

Second, if you want to reach out, you always have the unfriend safety net if it doesn't go well.

Third, I'm very particular about who is friended on my account. I've explained to more that one person that I haven't spoke to them in 20+ years, we have nothing in common, we'll probably never see each other again, and it kinda creeps me out to have you lurking in on the conversations I'm having with my friends. That combined with the fact that I am a pretty unforgiving SOB would probably earn him an ignore without comment from me.

But I don't know your situation. Maybe there was a reason he stayed away. Maybe he's a self-destructive *****e that had enough sense not to be around and influence you. I could go on with the hypotheticals, I won't but I will advise you to to think about it. My father died almost 5 years ago - and I'd give a helluva lot to have even a brief conversation with him.

 

[MessiahDecoy123]

Pretend to be his friend. Gain his trust. Have some good times with him. Then once his heart is in your hands send him an email telling him you don't want to talk to him anymore and cut him off.

 

[Heretic]

I see no reason on earth to allow someone into your private life who you have no interest in communicating with.

If you don't like someone...give them as little access to you as possible.

 

[AlteredEgo]

I'd say ask him if you know him from somewhere. After that, talk to him if you want. I don't suggest holding a grudge and blocking off one possibility for your life. But if you believe that ultimately it's for the worst, don't go for it.

 

[Honey Vibe]

Just add him, Christ. IT'S FACEBOOK.

 

[Holiday]

Today I just got a request on Facebook from my father to add him as a friend. I haven't spoken to him in almost 20 years.

I always thought I would tell him to suck my *expletive* but now that I am actually faced with that decision I am torn. I do want to talk to him but I also want to pummel him for not acting like he cared all those years.
What would you all do?

I'll ask you this... does he have another way of contacting you? Like could he get your telephone number easily, or maybe even meet you in person. Because if he could do those things but instead chose FB to contact you, that'd be a total cop out to me. It doesn't show strong commitment to really reaching out to you, if it's the case.

 

[MetalGear7]

I say be his friend, you only have one dad give or take

 

[Go Web Go!]

This is a tough situation, but it could be the beginning of a true relationship with your father. (Should you want one.)

This.

 

[THE MR. TERRIFIC]

My dad was not around for me growing up either. So I understand what you're going through. The only way you can heal is to talk openly if possible. I've reconnected with my dad and that side of my family and I don't regret it. If anything it's not that side of the family's fault.

 

[Harry_Lime02]

Why is he doing this online? Seems a little weird. Is this his only way of contacting you? Surely over the phone or in person is a better way to get back in touch with someone.

 

[terry78]

Why not? Holding grudges keeps you from moving forward. If it turns out he's got some ulterior motive, then deal with it.

 

[Simon Phoenix]

Pretend to be his friend. Gain his trust. Have some good times with him. Then once his heart is in your hands send him an email telling him you don't want to talk to him anymore and cut him off.

This

 

[Ugfugly]

Ok so I added him and I checked out his profile and it looks like all he does is frikkin Farmville. I swear if the only reason he added me was to be his stupid neighbour I will go ape**** and quit the interwebs forever.

Well maybe Facebook.



For a week.

 

[The Original Bamfer]

In general, the rule of thumb is not to accept a friend request from your parents... unless you're guilted into it by your mother.

However, if I were you, I wouldn't accept the friend request. The guy hasn't spoken to you in twenty years and the one way he decides to contact you is via Facebook? **** that.

 

[Ugfugly]

Well, I'm not exactly easy to reach. Come from Philippines, moved to England when I was 7 and when I was 20 after college I packed up and moved to the US after I got married. I left no contacts in England. Online would be the only way anyone outside of my family can get to me since only 2 people know my tel #

 

[BizarroAids]

If he didn't give a s*** about you for 20 years, then don't worry about him "liking" any of your status'...

Tell him to man up and be a father. Not online.

 

[Spider-Vader]

I'd say no.

My dad never loved his dad (because he was an ass) & it hasn't affected him in anyway.

 

[ComicChick]

honestly in your shoes i'd be curious and accept him for a while.

but i also deleted my brother from my facebook tonight. and we live in the same house.

 

[terry78]

honestly in your shoes i'd be curious and accept him for a while.

but i also deleted my brother from my facebook tonight. and we live in the same house.

Girls that are potholes are mean by default.

 

[ComicChick]

Girls that are potholes are mean by default.

if only you knew what he did today, he's lucky that's all i did