Family/Friends who is paying for dinner?

[\S/JcDc\S/]

Hmm... My wife and I invited a few family members and friends to a Hibachi dinner. I was prepared to pay for her parents and mine. But we had a couple other mutual friends and couple that went with us. For some reason the waiter did not establish separate checks at the start.

I figured no big deal, we can square it away after eating. So the waiter comes back after we eat and asks how to divide it up. I mentioned to put both sets of parents on my check. Then when our friends were asked one of them said "Oh we were invited" and somewhat pointed in my direction to indicate I was paying. The other friends just went a long with it and everyone kept talking like it was nothing. Then I made a comment "Didn't know I was paying for everyone tonight". and one of them joked "Oh you can afford it."

Both sets of parents then offered to pay something as they felt it was an awkward moment, but I insisted we were treating them.

So basically if you invite someone they automatically assume you are paying these days?

$115 :-/

 

[Addendum]

In college, when I went with my buddies to get some chow and drinks, we knew before we left the dorm that we were paying for what we ordered. When we ordered pizza on gaming night, we all chipped in so we could have some.

Unless someone says "my treat" or if it's a date, I always thought it you paid for what you ordered.

 

[CaptainClown]

I assume that my friends are paying when they beg or insist that I go with them and I really don't want to. But from the sounds of it I would say they sound like a bunch of moochers.

 

[Addendum]

Don't bother with those "friends" again.

 

[Dew k. Mosi]

Yeah, some people really need it spelled out to them. I always assume I am paying for me unless SPECIFICALLY told someone is treating me.

 

[Master Chief]

I never go out with my friends because everytime I do someone has to cover for me. Your buds are pricks, LOL.

 

[Ahura Mazda]

Well when I invite I also pay as that is the way I was brought up (generally everyone ends up fighting over the check in my family to see who pays) unless I specify otherwise. if however, the norm is to have to specify you are treating it was quite crass of your freinds to just force yuo into it.

 

[Bill]

Hmm... My wife and I invited a few family members and friends to a Hibachi dinner. I was prepared to pay for her parents and mine. But we had a couple other mutual friends and couple that went with us. For some reason the waiter did not establish separate checks at the start.

I figured no big deal, we can square it away after eating. So the waiter comes back after we eat and asks how to divide it up. I mentioned to put both sets of parents on my check. Then when our friends were asked one of them said "Oh we were invited" and somewhat pointed in my direction to indicate I was paying. The other friends just went a long with it and everyone kept talking like it was nothing. Then I made a comment "Didn't know I was paying for everyone tonight". and one of them joked "Oh you can afford it."

Both sets of parents then offered to pay something as they felt it was an awkward moment, but I insisted we were treating them.

So basically if you invite someone they automatically assume you are paying these days?

$115 :-/

If you only plan on paying for a certain part of a group you're inviting out to eat, then only invite that part of the group.

 

[November Rain]

depends on the wording

if you say 'i wanna take you out for dinner', you pay or at least expect to pay. If you say 'lets go out for dinner', assume 50/50 split.

very worst case scenario would be agree to pay this time but next time, dinner is on them. Everyone wins and you don't look tight fisted.

 

[LexCorp]

Hmm... My wife and I invited a few family members and friends to a Hibachi dinner. I was prepared to pay for her parents and mine. But we had a couple other mutual friends and couple that went with us. For some reason the waiter did not establish separate checks at the start.

I figured no big deal, we can square it away after eating. So the waiter comes back after we eat and asks how to divide it up. I mentioned to put both sets of parents on my check. Then when our friends were asked one of them said "Oh we were invited" and somewhat pointed in my direction to indicate I was paying. The other friends just went a long with it and everyone kept talking like it was nothing. Then I made a comment "Didn't know I was paying for everyone tonight". and one of them joked "Oh you can afford it."

Both sets of parents then offered to pay something as they felt it was an awkward moment, but I insisted we were treating them.

So basically if you invite someone they automatically assume you are paying these days?

$115 :-/

What ! That is total BS!

No way should you have paid. Tell yoru friends to go slam their face into the hot Hibachi grill. I could not think of anything more rude!

Yeah foot the bill for the sets of parents but you need to hack to bits those crunts you call friends. Grrrr that grinds mt gears.

 

[LexCorp]

Phew OK calmed down - depends what your invite suggested in the first place. Always make it clear you are not paying for all before you go.

 

[Majic Walrus]

Hmm... My wife and I invited a few family members and friends to a Hibachi dinner. I was prepared to pay for her parents and mine. But we had a couple other mutual friends and couple that went with us. For some reason the waiter did not establish separate checks at the start.

I figured no big deal, we can square it away after eating. So the waiter comes back after we eat and asks how to divide it up. I mentioned to put both sets of parents on my check. Then when our friends were asked one of them said "Oh we were invited" and somewhat pointed in my direction to indicate I was paying. The other friends just went a long with it and everyone kept talking like it was nothing. Then I made a comment "Didn't know I was paying for everyone tonight". and one of them joked "Oh you can afford it."

Both sets of parents then offered to pay something as they felt it was an awkward moment, but I insisted we were treating them.

So basically if you invite someone they automatically assume you are paying these days?

$115 :-/

If you are eating out in a group it is acceptable that you either pay for ONLY yourself or you pay for EVERYONE. If you start paying for half the people but not the other half they will get offended or may assume that you intended to pay for the group.

Either that or your friends are *****ebags who are trying to weasel steak and shrimp out of you.

 

[Wylie Times]

depends on the wording

if you say 'i wanna take you out for dinner', you pay or at least expect to pay. If you say 'lets go out for dinner', assume 50/50 split.

very worst case scenario would be agree to pay this time but next time, dinner is on them. Everyone wins and you don't look tight fisted.

Pretty much, but everyone does have that one friend who never wants to pay. Damn near have to pry their wallet open with a crowbar, and it's usually the one in the group with the most money.

 

[Protest the Hero]

you either pay for ONLY yourself or you pay for EVERYONE

Not true in this situation. It was his parents and in-laws he was paying for.

 

[Majic Walrus]

Not true in this situation. It was his parents and in-laws he was paying for.

Which may be more acceptable if it were a larger group, but what he intended to do was pay for EVERYONE except his two friends that he invited. I can see how they would assume he was paying for everyone.

 

[Drakon]

My friends would have had dishpan hands. I don't mind covering for people, until the very second it's expected that I'm going to without consulting me.

depends on the wording

if you say 'i wanna take you out for dinner', you pay or at least expect to pay. If you say 'lets go out for dinner', assume 50/50 split.

very worst case scenario would be agree to pay this time but next time, dinner is on them. Everyone wins and you don't look tight fisted.

Have you ever said something I don't agree with when it comes to stuff like this?

 

[SuBe]

I agree Drake. I don't give handouts. If I want to pay for someone, I'll offer. If I don't offer, you are on your own.

 

[Drakon]

I don't mind paying even if asked--I just can't stand people EXPECTING it of me.

 

[Majic Walrus]

My friends would have had dishpan hands. I don't mind covering for people, until the very second it's expected that I'm going to without consulting me.

qft. In any case the other couple should've asked before assuming that they were getting a free meal.

 

[Lobo]

If you only plan on paying for a certain part of a group you're inviting out to eat, then only invite that part of the group.

That's exactly what i was going to say.

Whenever I invite someone out, I pay. Whenever I'm invited they usually do, though I always have the money in my pocket, and offer to regardless.

 

[C. Lee]

So basically if you invite someone they automatically assume you are paying these days?

No....you just have moochers as friends.

 

[Majic Walrus]

Simple solution. Invite them out to dinner again. Go to the most expensive resturant you can fathom. When the check comes, let them know that they can "get you back" for the Hibachi you got the other day.

They'll stop mooching after that.

 

[Erzengel]

Even when I'm invited, I always ask the person with the check, "How much do you need from me?" and if they're like "No, it's on me." or give you a number, I think that's the easiest.

 

[SuBe]

Simple solution. Invite them out to dinner again. Go to the most expensive resturant you can fathom. When the check comes, let them know that they can "get you back" for the Hibachi you got the other day.

They'll stop mooching after that.

Just before you do that, tell them you have to use the Restroom, leave the resturaunt, then Call them and tell them to "get you back" and laugh evilly.

 

[Majic Walrus]

Just before you do that, tell them you have to use the Restroom, leave the resturaunt, then Call them and tell them to "get you back" and laugh evilly.

I'm never taking SuBe out anywhere.