Father's Day - What to get dad?

[redmarvel]

According to Sympatico.ca, do not get the following:

Books

It seems that books are an acceptable gift for many. While it is hard to roam the mall to find some meaningful and appropriate gift for your dad, a trip to the local bookstore might seem easier. Sure, the racks of books are less intimidating – and easier to wrap – but unless your dad is a die-hard nerd, books should not be an option. If you do decide to spend on something that has a lexical value, at least buy a 3000 – 4000 page dictionary or lexicon. This way it can be used as a flower press, a doorstopper or a weapon in case of burglary.

Electronic Birds

Electronic gadgets have a better chance of being a hit instead of a miss, but be sure you know what to pick. While the market is filled with new and interesting electronics, choose something useful, not something dad can put in the garage to collect dust. Do not buy your dad an electronic bird with pre-recorded messages, for example.

Handy Kits

Dad might be a very handy man and he might enjoy putting things together, but something like a make-your-own-beer kit would count as a definite miss with your daddy. Let´s remember, your dad is not Martha Stewart-- he needs manly projects. Thus, unless it is a build-your-own-gym, forget about the handy stuff. You might as well get him a gift card to the beer store.

Slippers, Ties and Socks

Come on, what is this, Christmas? Dad has to go through the ordeal of receiving intimate clothing from the rest of the world, on every other occasion, be it his birthday, Hanukkah, Easter, and every other holiday that is celebrated with gifts. Spare your dad because I am sure he has enough socks and slippers to accommodate half the army. Ties are wrong on many levels. The regular ties are boring unless dad spends all of his day, every day, buried deep in an extremely formal office. Another kind is the tacky "World´s Best Dad" tie. There isn´t enough space in this article for me to enunciate how deep a no-no those ties are.

Monogrammed Toilet Paper

I am not sure just how easy it is to find something like personalized TP, but I guess where there is a will, there is a way. So cut out the will, and I deeply apologize if I have even as much as planted a seed for the idea in your mind. Do you really want dad to remember you while he is taking care of that business on the throne?

Parenting Books

Back to the idea of books, in any eventuality you happen to find a 3000 – 4000 page parenting book, drop it. Unless you want to hurt your dad´s feelings, please do not buy him a parenting book, or any self-help book for that matter. Even if your intentions are of the best nature, such gifts are always taken as a subtle hint – just like when someone buys another person soap, a toothbrush or – gasp – a comb.

Bodybuilder Aprons

Perhaps your dad is the best barbecue chef in your city. So get him a chef´s hat-- but certainly not an apron with a bodybuilder´s picture printed on it. First, you will remind your dad that he is no longer 25 and he no longer has a rock-hard body. Second, he will serve steaks to the whole family creating a setting that only mom should be a witness to.

Hula Lamps

Do you live in Hawaii? If your answer is yes, please skip to the next item, you are safe. If the answer was no, please read on. Your parents have worked very hard to create a beautiful, tasteful home. A hula lamp does not fit into any home décor design. Although it could be fun to watch the little lady shake herself for a few minutes, the fun of the initial shock wears off and she becomes rather boring. Admire her on the shelf, and then move on. Hula yourself out of this idea!

Paternity Testing

This item does not require much explaining. Dad has to think he IS your dad. If you do opt to get a paternity test as a gift, and the results are negative, you are going to cut the holiday short. It would be somewhat like a bride running out on her wedding: no bride, no wedding. Thus, no dad, no Father´s Day!

 

[Drakon]

Also, avoid any kind of skirts and dresses. Recent studies show that Dads don't really have a need for those kind of things.

 

[redmarvel]

Also, avoid any kind of skirts and dresses. Recent studies show that Dads don't really have a need for those kind of things.

Ahhh but what about a good Kilt?

 

[Drakon]

So true. Except for my dad. He'd just take it as a plaid skirt, and Lord knows what next. I love him to death, but Dr.Robotnik has no business dressed up like a schoolgirl.

*shudder*

 

[Kritish]

Give him a flesh light.

 

[November Rain]

a broken leg?

 

[redmarvel]

I'm thinking DVD for hubby from my son... but then comes the question of which one...

 

[C. Lee]

It's funny that the first thing says "no books".....my dad loves to read and is cheap, so he can't wait for me to buy them for him.

 

[Drakon]

If he liked Gladiator, I honestly recommend TROY. One of the best films I"ve seen [and I'm super picky]. It's got a great cast-Brad Pit, Eric Bana, Orlando Bloom, Brian Cox, and more. The action is great, and the love story doesn't actually interfere that much with the plot.

 

[MoviesKickAss]

The 24 DVD Sets & or any Star Trek DVD Set. Stargate SG1 works to if they liked the Movie

 

[The Incredible Hulk]

oh crap!

*runs to store to take back electronic bird*

 

[redmarvel]

It's funny that the first thing says "no books".....my dad loves to read and is cheap, so he can't wait for me to buy them for him.

That makes it easier for you... I have no idea what to get my father-in-law, and I just know hubby will ask my opinion. He already owns every tool he needs and all the tool boxes that are needed for them. He also owns a lot of "junk" he doesn't need (bread maker, beer making kit, wine making kit, etc.)

... maybe I'll get him a "protective cup" for when my little guy get's old enough to play ball (Grandma & Grandpa watch my little Jabberwock while I'm at work).

 

[Flame on!]

How about his life back.

 

[Kaleb]

im ganna get him a hoker, since he liked cheating on my mom alot.

 

[Obi-Ron]

How about his life back.

That'd be my choice.

 

[Spoarz™]

My dad is pretty hard to buy for actually, his Birthday/Christmas lists usually become 'Do not buy' lists

Drakon - I just realised we have the same birthday

 

[Drakon]

____
{o,o}
|)__)
-"-"-
O RLY?

 

[Spoarz™]

____
{o,o}
(__(|
-"-"-
YA RLY!

 

[Iceman]

If he liked Gladiator, I honestly recommend TROY. One of the best films I"ve seen [and I'm super picky]. It's got a great cast-Brad Pit, Eric Bana, Orlando Bloom, Brian Cox, and more. The action is great, and the love story doesn't actually interfere that much with the plot.

Troy's a great film.


My dad doesn't like anything, except holidays.

He's very hard to buy anything for.

 

[Drakon]

____
{o,o}
(__(|
-"-"-
YA RLY!

{o.o}
|)_(|
-"-"-
No WAI!

 

[Erzengel]

Why don't most of you come home with a girlfriend?

That would make their father's day.

 

[Noon]

It was my dad's birthday last week, I got him a hammock. He loved it, but he isn't a typical dad sort, no beer or football stuff

 

[Kritish]

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

Why don't most of you come home with a girlfriend?

That would make their father's day.

Hahaha. One time my Dad gave my girlfriend and I sex advice while he was wasted off his ass. Awesome evening.

 

[The Incredible Hulk]

Hahaha. One time my Dad gave my girlfriend and I sex advice while he was wasted off his ass. Awesome evening.

thank god the word "advice" made it into that sentence