Getting "used" for sex.

[Mike_D202]

I think I was just used for sex. I've been hanging out with this girl the last 4 weeks, she's been telling me that she wants to get intimiate with me everytime we hang out at my apartment (the first night we met she wanted to sleep with me). I haven't been with a woman since my fiance' left me 6 months ago, so it was a little weird for me to "give in" (especially the last 2 weeks she said she wants a relationship with me). So last Thursday, after we woke up, we had sex.

For the next two days, she tells me that she really likes me a lot and was debating wether or not to even go to her vacation in Hawaii (which was schedule for early sunday morning), originally she was going to see a guy she met online a few months prior that she was crushing on. Well, 2 hours before her flight she tells me she just wants to be friends.

So...maybe she got what she wanted, and now wants to explore her other options (such as that guy from Hawaii). I'm not sure how I'm feeling right now.

I mean, most guys are like "alright! I was used for sex!"

But I'm thinking more on the lines of "....that *****."

 

[Kahoot]

Sure shes a ***** but you got sex, all is good.

On another note, she's flying off to meet a random internet guy? Hasn't it been made clear that the internet is where the crazy killer people live and flying to meet them is never a good thing.

 

[I'm Old Greg]

I was in a situation pretty close to that...
i felt just as ****** to. i care about people...i've known a lot of selfish girls that want the next best thing, and when they always want to come back for sex, it gets more depressing than fun after a while...
for more guys than most think, its not much fun if its just heartless sex...

she's a creepazoird bro, keep looking ahead for the better girl.

 

[Nivek]

Eh, it's sounds like she was looking for a hook up, it's sucks if you are looking toward a relationship with her, but it sounds like she is pretty uncertain anyway. If anything, keep her number, and give her a call and "return the favor" in a friends with benefits type deal.

 

[xisaacx]

Its happened to me a few times, girls wanting to "see" what its like to be with a "black" guy when they had boyfriends who are white.

 

[Nivek]

Thats pretty ignorant.

 

[Hotwire]

I can think back to the days when I was single and not getting any. I wouldn't have minded being used for sex.
As a matter of fact, I was used once. There was a girl I worked with who was engaged to a Marine. He was in Japan and her and I had gone out drinking. Yadda, yadda, yadda....

 

[Go Web Go!]

^ That's not cool. ^

 

[The Guard]

Was the sex bad? That would explain why she used you for sex and now just wants to be friends.

 

[psychocheeseman]

I can think back to the days when I was single and not getting any. I wouldn't have minded being used for sex.
As a matter of fact, I was used once. There was a girl I worked with who was engaged to a Marine. He was in Japan and her and I had gone out drinking. Yadda, yadda, yadda....

Bonking another man's fiance may seem funny, but marines kill people... probably not the wisest move there...

but back to the original problem posted....

she probably didn't mean to use you for sex if she'd been talking about a relationship with you - or even hanging around you that much. I mean if she'd just wanted sex she could have got herself a stranger.

Two things may have happened after you had sex. either this other dude online is better at flirting and has given her the idea that he's something desirable, and that she should be "string free" when she visits, or you personally made some small blunder in the post sex dynamic, which made her think you were better suited to the "friends zone". Or it could have been a combination of the two. Don't feel bad - or like less of a man, just try and think about anything you might have done wrong and learn for next time. Remember though that the grass is always greener on the other side - so the other dude, in giving her something exotic to look forward to on her holiday, had much less work to do in interesting this girl than you did.

Then again - she might just have wanted to cool it with you so she wouldn't feel bad if she does pick up whilst she's away, whether she plans to or not, it's a holiday, you never know what might happen. Don't be surprised if she does come back from holidays wanting to start stuff up again.

 

[Jack O Lantern]

Getting used for Sex is awesome.

That is all.

 

[Mdizzle]

I can see a number of things here.

It could be that she's just confused about what she wants (just a butt boy, cuddle buddy, or potential bf), that she enjoys your company but also wanted to suss out where the chemistry could lead you two. I don't think you were necessarily a bad lay in her eyes, but you mentioned that she was gonna go see that other dude. So she might just have reservations about getting serious/making a committment to any of the men in her life.

The fact that she was itching to get on you since day one also tells me she felt there was some chemistry between you from the beginning. Sadly though, it could be that she just doesn't see you as "boyfriend material" for whatever reason--it's her loss, because great sexual chemistry is a solid foundation for a good relationship.

 

[Holiday]

I can think back to the days when I was single and not getting any. I wouldn't have minded being used for sex.
As a matter of fact, I was used once. There was a girl I worked with who was engaged to a Marine. He was in Japan and her and I had gone out drinking. Yadda, yadda, yadda....

But you yadda yadda'd over the best part...

 

[B]

I think I was just used for sex. I've been hanging out with this girl the last 4 weeks, she's been telling me that she wants to get intimiate with me everytime we hang out at my apartment (the first night we met she wanted to sleep with me). I haven't been with a woman since my fiance' left me 6 months ago, so it was a little weird for me to "give in" (especially the last 2 weeks she said she wants a relationship with me). So last Thursday, after we woke up, we had sex.

I'd like to wish you many congratulations

 

[black_dust]

Looks like you suck ass at sex then and put her off for life, good job!

 

[The IronMan]

nothing wrong with friends with benefits get over it and maybe you'll get.......... more sex with her

 

[Crazy Flakes]

She's not worth it if she's just gonna sleep with you and leave you for a random internet guy who's probably a creeper.

 

[Knightsaber Priss]

Interesting. I always thought it was mostly girls who got used for sex, at least that's been my experience.

 

[Mike_D202]

I can see a number of things here.

It could be that she's just confused about what she wants (just a butt boy, cuddle buddy, or potential bf), that she enjoys your company but also wanted to suss out where the chemistry could lead you two. I don't think you were necessarily a bad lay in her eyes, but you mentioned that she was gonna go see that other dude. So she might just have reservations about getting serious/making a committment to any of the men in her life.

The fact that she was itching to get on you since day one also tells me she felt there was some chemistry between you from the beginning. Sadly though, it could be that she just doesn't see you as "boyfriend material" for whatever reason--it's her loss, because great sexual chemistry is a solid foundation for a good relationship.

I think you hit the nail on the head. She's been texting me from Hawaii and I think shes trying to keep me on the back burner (she must be testing things out with that guy over there). Pfft, I ain't no piece of meat!!

Looks like you suck ass at sex then and put her off for life, good job!

Hey, I've had no complaints She orgasmed 2 minutes into it.

She's not worth it if she's just gonna sleep with you and leave you*for a random internet guy who's probably a creeper.

Yes I agree.

Interesting. I always thought it was mostly girls who got used for sex, at least that's been my experience.

I know, I feel like...less of a man? I dunno I'm confused

 

[Knightsaber Priss]

I know, I feel like...less of a man? I dunno I'm confused

I guess that's part of the reason why I tend not to trust alot of guys. I just don't like that empty, hollow, confused feeling a casual fling can give you.

 

[Mike_D202]

LOL @ this being moved to fan fiction.

 

[Mdizzle]

Well, if you want to continue with this chick, I would play it off the same way she's doing it. Be aware of where "things" are with you two, date other girls, keep your eyes open. If you find that's too difficult, you can do one of two things: straight up walk away from her, or else level with her and tell her that if you're gonna be "friends" or whatever, you need to set the boundaries. Some ppl can separate sex from emotion, and if you feel you can, then by all means do it. Somehow, tho, I get the impression that you want more.

 

[Knightsaber Priss]

LOL @ this being moved to fan fiction.

I suppose some Mods think you've made this all up. *shrugs*

 

[Mike_D202]

Well, if you want to continue with this chick, I would play it off the same way she's doing it. Be aware of where "things" are with you two, date other girls, keep your eyes open. If you find that's too difficult, you can do one of two things: straight up walk away from her, or else level with her and tell her that if you're gonna be "friends" or whatever, you need to set the boundaries. Some ppl can separate sex from emotion, and if you feel you can, then by all means do it. Somehow, tho, I get the impression that you want more.

Ya I thought that the "friends with sex" thing could work for me (being that my other guy friends do it all the time) but I guess I was wrong . Guess I don't like to share.

I suppose some Mods think you've made this all up. *shrugs*

Well I guess I don't blame em, JAL aka TAC and a few other have done the same thing. But whatevs.

 

[Mdizzle]

Ya I thought that the "friends with sex" thing could work for me (being that my other guy friends do it all the time) but I guess I was wrong . Guess I don't like to share.

It's a tough thing to accept, that's for sure. Some ppl can do it, some can't. If you already had other girls on the rotation at the time you got involved with her, I think it would be a lot easier--that way, you're not focusing all your attention/efforts on one person.