Hairy Dilema...

[The Watchman]

I have a problem.

The nature of which is touchy, literally and otherwise, I ask you to act in a mature manner in addressing my situation.

I pulled my balls out.

I pulled them out at a party on Friday and everyone hates me now. I'm the subject of ridicule. It wasn't like I arbitrarily pulled them out, I was coerced by a vixen offering the prize of left nipple for clancy (left ball) and right nip for Clancy Jr. (righty, who is slightly smaller). They felt I was acting inappropriate at what was a dressy christmas celebration. All I can think of is me standing there with a stupid grin and my balls slightly perched out of my jeans. I weap at the thought. No one got mad at nipple girl. Why me?

Why me?

We live in a sexist world. I may not have been thinking, but now I'm going to finally finish what diabetes started. I'm taking my own leg. What else can I do to make things right, poor unsuspecting bystanders. I hate me.

My general nature here may preclude serious answers to my problem, but I ask in slightly abashed candor for honest advice.

How can I right this travesty of testes?

 

[Boom]

Flash your ass .

 

[WorthyStevens]

I think the classic phrase 'have sex' works in this situation. Maybe.

 

[Tyrinus]

Next time make the girl show you first.

 

[Hades]

What's done is done.

You did something stupid, everyone does.

If they still hold it agianst you, then they're probably people you don't want to be around anyway.

 

[The Original Bamfer]

Castration

 

[Badger]

Offer up junior for sacrament.

 

[Erzengel]

I think you should go the other way and show pride in them. Do not be ashamed.

 

[heypapajinx]

I think you should go the other way and show pride in them. Do not be ashamed.

i agree.
i had a friend that pulled his piece out EVERYWHERE we went just for kicks.
the more he did it, the more everyone just got used to it and laughed it off.

plus he totally got the hottest girls because the new the package was quality BEFORE hand.

 

[Colossal Spoons]

Watchman, are you feeling alright today?

 

[Hunter Rider]

I thought this was gonna be about Watchman dating a seemingly hot girl and finding out she was incredibly hairy in her chestular region

 

[The Watchman]

Watchman, are you feeling alright today?

No, my dellusions of grandeur are taking over. Combine that with a superiority complex and an ex-girlfriend who is pissed because I literally spread cream cheese in her undercarriage (took her hours to fix that miscommunication) and you have a damaged psyche waiting for sexual gratification. Ok I'm just putting words together now, nosensical I am.

 

[Gotendbz-2]

Are you still drunk from the party?

 

[The Watchman]

I thought this was gonna be about Watchman dating a seemingly hot girl and finding out she was incredibly hairy in her chestular region

I wish. There just aren't any trannies here, no matter how hard I look. Pay close attention to that phrasing.

 

[The Watchman]

Are you still drunk from the party?

Who said I was drinking?

are you still drunk from you face BEING ON FIRE?!?!?

 

[Colossal Spoons]

This is the most sophisticated form of spam I've seen in a long time.

 

[tzarinna]

Just tell them that they needed some air.

 

[The Watchman]

I guess I could show them that trick where my semen turns into an actual human being, but that might make things worse.

I'm so very sad.

 

[Venom Drool]

dude, i dont even know who 'everyone' consists of. and if 'everyone' mattered, they would have known you to pull off a stunt like that... in front of your own cousin too. don't worry. i gots my sources. if you are still down, kill that ***** while shes taking her clothes off.. that always surprises them

 

[Warhammer]

That b**** should've showed her nipple.
When you say it, you do it.

 

[C.F. Kane]

When I read the line "I pulled my balls out", my first thought was "get a damn doctor"

I misread it

 

[tzarinna]

That's what I thought too.

 

[Savage]

When I read the line "I pulled my balls out", my first thought was "get a damn doctor"

I misread it

You too huh? Yeah, I was suprised as I read further that he actually...whipped them out...Then the image of him just grinning made me picture Adam Corolla for some reason...are you Adam Corolla? I could have sworn The Man Show did something similar.

 

[November Rain]

yeah, watchman...you're wording is off, i thought you had done some serious damage.


Anywho, the event will pass, no one will care, it'll be tomorrow's news before you know it.

ps, you should have done it with pride. I normally do, especially when they are shaved, i moisturise them so they look like maltesers, it's awesome.

 

[Phaser]

When I read the line "I pulled my balls out", my first thought was "get a damn doctor"

I misread it

Same here. I was just stunned for a few minutes thinking "WTF is this jackass doing on a message board making a thread about it then? "