Has the Social Media Revolution helped/hurt you romantically?

[Optimus_Prime_]

This is a serious question, and I don't really feel I have a right/wrong answer to it. When I was first coming of age, and first meeting/talking to girls I still had to call their parents to ask them out and generally spending time with someone meant sacrificing my free time to be with them, and making plans in advance. I remember growing up in this environment and I can't help but notice now that I'm older that the world is far different, and girls/boys who are growing up now behave differently. I know! This is a huge shock. So, like anyone I try using Facebook and cellphone text messaging and occassionally chatroulette to meet people (the latter usually results in unintentional gay pr0n). Originally I was really amped when Facebook came out, or when I first started texting non-stop, now I'm realizing there were things I liked better about the way things used to be.

For example, I feel like before, when I was in High School people did not flake out on plans like they used to. As a result I've grown up with a very "first come, first serve mentality". If I'm asked to do something, and I don't feel like something more important is going to come up (and it's something I'd enjoy) I'll say yes, and it's basically set in stone. Now, with texting I'll notice many people don't know what they're doing until the last minute. To give a specific example, I remember the first time I went to this new nightclub when I was a teenager. I was going with these girls, and we knew Monday that we were going Thursday night. I remember even writing it down. I cannot tell you the last time I did that.

I feel like Social Media has helped me immensely in keeping up with acquaintences I could give two craps about and keeping up with old friends I do care about but are too far away from me for me to see them regularly. Where I haven't been as successful with social media is meeting new people I trust. I still feel like I need to do that the old fashion way.

Do you feel like social media has helped you make friends or start relationships? Do you find it to be a good hook up tool? Or do you think it's hurt us?

 

[Erzengel]

It beats having to drive by the high schools.

 

[the_ultimate_evil]

i had sod luck with women before it, i have sod luck now. so bugger all

 

[hopefuldreamer]

It definitely takes the mystery out of it!

 

[Harls]

It makes it easier to communicate in my case.

 

[Erzengel]

Obviously it's easier to catch people in lies.

Boy: Hey, do you wanna go out Friday night?
Girl: Oh sorry, I'm just going to stay home and work on a project.

Boy checks girl's facebook page.
Girl is having a great time at such and such's house. Party is off the hook yo.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

It beats having to drive by the high schools.

Ummm, you still have to kidnap the girls from the high school after you stalk them on Facebook with your fake 14 year old girl profile, d'uh.

 

[Erzengel]

Don't have to kidnap. I usually just target the ones with father issues and low self esteem and tell them I have a car.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Obviously it's easier to catch people in lies.

Boy: Hey, do you wanna go out Friday night?
Girl: Oh sorry, I'm just going to stay home and work on a project.

Boy checks girl's facebook page.
Girl is having a great time at such and such's house. Party is off the hook yo.

There's another side to that coin: I'm not sure about you but if a girl gave me the line "I'm just going to stay in" I always took it to mean there was something/someone somewhere that she would rather be at or with. Is Facebook catching them in a lie, or confirming what you already knew anyways.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Don't have to kidnap. I usually just target the ones with father issues and low self esteem and tell them I have a car.

I once sent a girl a picture of my dog being adorable, but I made sure the TV and entertainment center were clearly in focus so she could see that I had money.

 

[The Squirrel]

I think we have grown too dependent on social networks and smart phones.

 

[Scourge2099]

It's hurt me pretty bad. I'm in college so it's f***** me up pretty badly. If I give out my number , it has to be the home number.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

It's hurt me pretty bad. I'm in college so it's f***** me up pretty badly. If I give out my number , it has to be the home number.

Hmm? Elaborate, I'm interested.

I think we have grown too dependent on social networks and smart phones.

I feel like texting is more non-committal than talking. So Facebook/Smartphone makes people able to be more spontaneous, but less able to plan things.

 

[SpideyVille]

It's funny because I was thinking the exact same thing the other day. In some ways, I think it's helped me communicate with girls outside of school, and not have to worry about being nervous over the phone. Heck, there was one girl I became friends with by approaching her on facebook first.

But at the same time, I feel like its hurts me because its so easy that people aren't doing things exclusively. Like I know if I'm texting a girl, chances are other guys are too. Plus, there's the whole idea where everything is made public, where you can see what someone is doing based on what they post. Like I remember being hung up on this one girl, where I would always check her profile to see why she hasn't replied to me, but would reply to everyone else, even though she told me she was too busy with work and stuff. I think its cases like that that make you act differently, and in some ways makes you ruin your chances with someone. I think I even told this one girl that I deleted her on facebook because I'd rather her become her friend in person, than stay just a facebook friend that never sees her or hangs out with her.

Personally, I always considered myself old-fashioned, and I too feel like some things are better done the old way, but its been hard because it seems like social media is becoming a necessity.

 

[THE MR. TERRIFIC]

I already married before the social media boom so no effect on me.

 

[BlackLantern]

I think some people use it as a crutch

 

[amazingfantasy15]

This is a serious question, and I don't really feel I have a right/wrong answer to it. When I was first coming of age, and first meeting/talking to girls I still had to call their parents to ask them out and generally spending time with someone meant sacrificing my free time to be with them, and making plans in advance. I remember growing up in this environment and I can't help but notice now that I'm older that the world is far different, and girls/boys who are growing up now behave differently. I know! This is a huge shock. So, like anyone I try using Facebook and cellphone text messaging and occassionally chatroulette to meet people (the latter usually results in unintentional gay pr0n). Originally I was really amped when Facebook came out, or when I first started texting non-stop, now I'm realizing there were things I liked better about the way things used to be.

For example, I feel like before, when I was in High School people did not flake out on plans like they used to. As a result I've grown up with a very "first come, first serve mentality". If I'm asked to do something, and I don't feel like something more important is going to come up (and it's something I'd enjoy) I'll say yes, and it's basically set in stone. Now, with texting I'll notice many people don't know what they're doing until the last minute. To give a specific example, I remember the first time I went to this new nightclub when I was a teenager. I was going with these girls, and we knew Monday that we were going Thursday night. I remember even writing it down. I cannot tell you the last time I did that.

I feel like Social Media has helped me immensely in keeping up with acquaintences I could give two craps about and keeping up with old friends I do care about but are too far away from me for me to see them regularly. Where I haven't been as successful with social media is meeting new people I trust. I still feel like I need to do that the old fashion way.

Do you feel like social media has helped you make friends or start relationships? Do you find it to be a good hook up tool? Or do you think it's hurt us?

Facebook is not a dating site! Don't treat it like one, that's your problem. It's tough when you're out of school to find a date, no question about it, what you need to do though is use a dating site, there's plenty of options plentyoffish, Mathc, eHarmony. I know plenty of people who met their boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife on those sites. I met my girlfriend on eHarmony. It can work, Facebook won't for the most part.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Facebook is not a dating site!

Chill out! I didn't say it was

Don't treat it like one, that's your problem.

I also never said I have a "problem".

It's tough when you're out of school to find a date, no question about it, what you need to do though is use a dating site, there's plenty of options plentyoffish, Mathc, eHarmony. I know plenty of people who met their boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife on those sites. I met my girlfriend on eHarmony. It can work, Facebook won't for the most part.

Thanks for the advice, but I wasn't looking for advice, I'm looking for commentary on whether people think Facebook/eHarmony/texting whathaveyou has been an overall good thing for relationships or an overall bad thing. I'm simply comparing the old fashion way to the new hotness.

 

[BlackLantern]

I think its what you make of it....some people who are socially awkward may feel comfortable using those things and some don't

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

I think its what you make of it....some people who are socially awkward may feel comfortable using those things and some don't

I kind of feel like they make people more socially awkward though.

 

[BlackLantern]

I would say it probably is a contributing factor......some people don't know how to have a polite conversation anymore

starting a conversation with "hey ma, when you gonna let me tap that" is hardly appropriate

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

I would say it probably is a contributing factor......some people don't know how to have a polite conversation anymore

starting a conversation with "hey ma, when you gonna let me tap that" is hardly appropriate

Did someone actually say this to you or someone you know Lawd, that's bad.

 

[BlackLantern]

Ive heard it said to someone I know

 

[The Squirrel]

People say that on dating sites all the time. But the thing I don't like is how everyone is always looking down at their phones or on their laptops these days. I hung out with some people at my old college and they would just be sitting there chatting on I.M. the whole night. It's like, why are we hanging out again?

 

[amazingfantasy15]

Chill out! I didn't say it was

I also never said I have a "problem".

Thanks for the advice, but I wasn't looking for advice, I'm looking for commentary on whether people think Facebook/eHarmony/texting whathaveyou has been an overall good thing for relationships or an overall bad thing. I'm simply comparing the old fashion way to the new hotness.

Well, most of your first post seemed to be about not meeting quality people via Facebook or other social media venues and somewhat complaining about it, that's what I was responding too.

As for me personally, that stuff doesn't impact my relationship at all. My girlfriend and I prefer talking to each other in person to via facebook or texting. Texting is a good way to ask each other something while at work, but that's about all we use it for. The funny thing was about 4-5 months after we started dating her roommate asked if we were "exclusive", we said yeah, she just wasn't sure because we didn't change our Facebook status. It never really occured to us, but just changed it that night anyway.