Hype Story (what is really happening during this year's deathmatch)

[Naked Shia]

Hype Story is a work in progress, that I shall continue writing as long as i'm fighting in the deathmatch.

***
Once, it was a proud and beautiful land. But years of war had toked their toll, and it was now a picture of devastation. Most people were in hiding, fearing for their lives each and everyday. Only those crazy enough to fight were to be seen. Some of them were just trying to make a difference, their courage being their only weapon, while some were trying to make a name for themselves.
But Reek and Roose Bolton fit neither of those categories. For they were the others. Once, a lifetime ago, they had forged a strong bound with the one called Naked Shia. Then, each of them had parted ways. Nobody knew why. Even they were clueless. But in the end, it didn’t matter. They were back together. They were fighting for the greater good. At least, that’s what Roose was hoping for.
« - Reek, I know you don’t understand nothing about strategy, but what do you think about this Provost guy who just came back ?
- I’m telling you Roose, I can’t stand this guy.
- Truth is, you can’t stand noone.
- That is indeed the truth. But there is something fishy about this guy. I mean, he disappears for months, and he comes back as if it was yesterday. I don’t believe his story.
- Neither do I. But maybe we should give him the benefit of the doubt. What if he’s sincere ?
- I guess we will know soon. I wonder what he and Naked are talking about right now.
- I don’t care what they are talking about ! I just want to rip Sawyer’s heart out !
- I know, I know. Be strong. »
They then saw a handsome tall greek Guy.
« - Gianakin, you are back ! Claim Roose.
- that, I most certainly am. And I bring some bad news from my undercover mission.
- We already know all that dammit ! Replies Reek. We kniw Naked Shia is fighting Sawyer.
- Sawyer ? Are you kidding ? I’m talking about a real threat. One that could destroy the whole Hype ! »


***

« - I, Naked Shia, thank you for your support, brave Provost. It is an honor to count you among my friends.
- I think you’re the one to save us. I will be there for you. Who is this lady who is coming here in a threatening way ?
- Threatening ? It’s I See Spidey ! She’s a sister ! I trust her with my life ! »
I Spee Spidey then begins to run, her blade above her head, screaming « For Sawyer ! ». Just before she managed to hit Naked Shia, Provost punched her in the face, and tied her up.
« ISS, I used to trust you, but you betrayed me. I have no choice but to punish you. I could exile you, but I’m a merciful person, so You will have to watch Man Of Steel Twice in a row.
- Thank you my lord. You are indeed a merciful one, and I regret having betrayed you.
- But you will watch it with Gu3ree, and he will talk about subplots during the whole movie.
- Please, don’t do this to me !
- I’m sorry ,but I will just do it. »

***

Spider-Aziz was bandaging his wounds, from his battle against thephantasm. « Why didn’t Naked Shia support me ? We are friends ! I don’t understand ! I have to uncover the truth about that matter. I WILL FIND HIM ! ».
While he was walking, he heard strange noises. Suddenly, Andrew Garfield, Tobey Maguire and Asa Butterfield jumped in front of him. « Aziz, we are here because you betrayed us ! You are excited for the new spider-man movie when you shouldn’t ! Charlie Rowe is no Peter Parker ! Shame on you ! ».
They then proceeded to attack him, all at once. The courageous Aziz managed to hold his own for a few moments. He knocked Tobey out by telling him « the girl doesn’t like you », which made Tobey cry so hard he fainted. But Asa and Andrew proved to be too much of a threat, and he was outnumbered badly. « You can’t attack me like that ! I have the right to love several takes on the character. I love spider-man so much, that I’m willing to give everyone a chance to make him great . Why would have to choose ?». Andrew spat on his face, and Asa pushed him on the floor. That’s when The Joker came to the rescue. He used his deadly flower on Asa, the acid burnt the kid’s head. He then destroyed Andrew’s knees with a big hammer.
« you, you will now be Aziz the goon. As long as I think it’s funny to have you around, you will live. Where were you heading to ?
- I want to hear Naked Shia’s speech and understand why he didn’t support me. I think he’s crazy.
- Really ? Wait till he gets a load of me hahaha ! ».


***

Duke was angrily hitting trees with the cross of his weapon. Chip Chipperson, who was walking around, asked him why.
« - I’m angry because Naked Shia wants Shia Labeouf to be in GI Joe ! I can’t let it happen !
- You’re a big guy. You will get over it.
- Don’t be disrespectful ! From now on, you will bow to Joe !
- what if I don’t ?
- there will be tears.
- Haven’t you cried enough already ?
- for you ! »

Duke then tried to bite Chip with his fangs. Chip was trying to land a punch, but slipped on a banana’s peel. As Chip fell, Duke missed him, and hit a tree with his forehead, knocking himself out.
Chip then saw a flyer on the tree « if you wanan know why you should support Naked Shia, come at this place, and he will tell you why you should just do it ».


***

Travesty was talking with I am the Knight.

« - I watched into Naked Shia’s eyes, and you know what ? I can feel it in my bones and stuff, he’s gonna make a difference.
- I don’t know this Naked Shia, but someone told me he was a french Spider-Aziz, and it seems he will give a speech soon, so I wanna hear what he has to say. To see if he’s really as crayzy as they say.
- The reason I want to come with you is that I live to solve mysteries. And I’ve been told someone close to Naked intend to murder him. That’s the kind of mystery I love.
- Let’s do the Bane dance and find who that would be killer is ! »

***

Unbreakable Lex was in his office, watching through the window. The battlefield really changed the world. Samurai Adam and Sgt Fury were next to him.
-« Adam, Fury, I called you because the three of us could transform the world. My mind, your sword, and your militaery strategies make us an unstoppable force.
- It’s true, replies Sgt Fury. My undercover mission was a success, and I managed to stop the threat against you, before they could move a finger.
- And my sword (he swings his weapon several times, and 5 ninjas drop dead) will keep on slicing those who wants your death.
- Exactly. But as of today, we have to join others. Sawyer is a sarcastic one. But we know who he is and what he wants. That Naked Shia dude, on the other hand, is a mystery. Nobody has ever seen who is hiding under the paper bag. Some pretend he really is Shia Labeouf. But I refuse to believe he’s just a comedian.
- You know what they say, replies Sgt Fury, keep your friends close, and your enemies even closer.
- Also, the closer the enemy, the easier it is for the sword to slice him.
- You got my point obviously. We’re going to join Naked Shia. Then, we will learn more about who he really is, and what his plans are. Then, we will take control…

***

Mr Maooz is asking Annefan where he should head to, in order to meet Naked Shia. But Annefan, being a suspicious one, thinks Mr Maooz really wants to Kidnapp Anne Hathaway ! In order to avoid that, he leads Mr Maooz purposely on a wrong road. After a few minutes, Mr Maooz enters a tavern. Unfortunately, there is a big brawl, because of a man called Super Sanchez, who refused claim his support to Sawyer. Super Sanchez, who is a legendary fighter, managed to hold his own, while drinking bottle after bottle of Tequila. But when Mr Maooz, unaware of the danger, he pushes Super Sanchez, and both of them fall from the window. The fall would have been lethal, had Dude Stannis not passed by with his chart. Unaware of his two new friends presence, Dude Stannis was talking to himself « I’m gonna kill Gianakin ! I’m the only Greek counsellor Naked Shia needs ! ».
Annefan watches the three of theam leaving, and applauds himself. « Now Anne will be mine, and mine alone ! »

***

Fallen Angel was flying with gace. But suddenly, Thunderstrike hit him violently. Fallen Angel then fell and hit the ground. When he woke up, his wings were torn apart.
« - I’m sorry, I never meant to hit you !
- I know you didn’t. But now, I can’t go back up there.
- both of you, listen to me ! I’m silliminite, and I will help you ! Because that’s what heroes do. But first, you have to come with me ! Listen to Naked Shia ! It will change your life ! ».

When they finally reached Naked Shia’s place, there were already a lot of great people : AnneFan, Armsheldout, Brucebegins, C. Lee, Chip Chipperson, Dudestannis, Geetard, I am the Knight, John-An, Knightfall, Mr Maooz, Super Sanchez, My dude Spidey, Provost, Reek, Roose Bolton, Samurai Adam, Sgt Fury, Silliminite, Spider-Aziz and the Joker, Superman Prime, Thephantasm, Travesty, Unreakable Lex , Val Zod and Volshe.

Naked Shia was telling them how they shouldn’t let their dreams be dreams, and not stop when anyone else whould have quit already. En ended his speech with his legendary « Just do it ».
C. Lee was really moved by this speech. « As soon as I saw the video you made for Sawyer, I knew I had to support you. All my life, I have believed in heroes. To me, it’s really important to fight for the rules, so that everyone can live in peace and harmony. ».

C. Lee was really inspiring with his words, but someone began to laugh at him, in a cruel manner. It was Sawyer, broadcasting on every TV. « I don’t know any of you, and I’m glad I don’t. HAHAHAHA ».
Naked Shia immediatly answered : « I know all of you, and I’m proud that you are supporting me. I will fight to be worthy of your trust. ».
Suddenly, Pink Ranger, riding a big and ugly pig, raced like a fury, and threw a spear to kill Naked Shia. Volshe jumped like a true athlete, did a somersault, and caught the lethal weapon a second before it hit Naked Shia. This is when Parker Wayne, Beatnation, the shape and others came to fight the courageous heroes that Naked Shia called brothers. A huge battle took place.
Geetard decided to hack Sawyer system, so that he could trac khis HQ. But Clark-Kent cowardly tried to stab him FROM BEHIND ! Geetard wsould already be lying dead, if Superman Prime had not come between him and the blade. The Kryptonian then pulled a wedgie on Clark-Kent, and threw him in a tree.
During the fight, Pink Ranger stole the money Naked Shia and his friends had reunited to save orphans. She was escaping with it on her pig. My dude Spidey gave her chase. She tried to kill him by throwing a knife at him, but thanks to his spider-sense, he managed to avoid te blade. He then captured pink ranger with his net.

In the ehat of the battle, I am The Knight was facing Schlosser85 in a breakdance contest. But Schlosser85, also known as random Frodo guy, bite his ankle, so that he couldn’t dance anymore. Knightfall caught the villainous person by the neck, and punched him really really hard, knocking him out. Meanwhile, a wall was falling on some of Sawyer’s men. Armsheldout was trying to save them, by pulling the wall away. But Xtremely Baneful decided the right thing to do was to attack a man who was trying to save his comrades. Before he could hit, though, Val Zod came in and stopped him.

He then asked calmly everyone to stop fighting…

While Sawyer's men were captured, Reek tried to cut Victarion's throat. Naked Shia stopped him. "It's time to make peace. I don't want another bloodshed."

*** ​

 

[Naked Shia]

Helion was sitting on Dumbo’s back, while the elephant with big ears was flying.
« Geetard, you were right, Sawyer’s HQ is indeed just here ! »
Fallen Angel was on the elephant’s back too. « I may not be able to fly anymore, but that doesn’t mean I’m powerless. ». He then dived so quickly that Helion couldn’t see him anymore. The angel fell in a stack.
He was quickly joined by Bruce Begins. Bruce had just given his nice coat to a peasant, who gave him a bike in return.
« This castle is incredible. Said Bruce. I mean, so many people can’t feed themselves, and Sawyer is living in such luxury…
- Some humans made the sin of pride one of the most outrageous. »
Bruce then run to Fallen Angel, who caught him and threw him in the air. Bruce landed on the castle walls effortlessly. He was then joined by Helion, who was sitting on Quasimodo’s back. Which was no small feat in itself. Helion then released Chip and Dale in the castle, so that they would infiltrate it. The two friends then began to make their way in.
But suddenly, everything exploded…

***

Gianakin was discussing with Naked Shia.
« - You have to beat Sawyer.
- That’s kinda what I’m trying to do you know.
- That’s not what I meant. You need to beat Sawyer quickly, because the real threat will soon be there…
- Tell me more about this threat.
- I will tell you everything, so that you will be ready to face it. »

Outside of the room, Travesty and I am the Knight were trying to reach Naked Shia. But Samurai adam and Knightfall wouldn’t let them in, because such were the order of Naked.
« - But you have to let us in ! Someone close to him will betray him ! I can feel it in my bones and stuff ! »

Inside, Gianakin was about to reveal what the threat was. « The big threat, the one that you should fear, the one you have to beat is actually… ». But he never finished his sentence. Indeed, a rock hit his foerehead, and he fell on the ground, his head full of blood. Before Naked could do anything, he was stabbed in the back by a knife. Dozens of men in black duds then jumped in front of him. Naked tried to stand up to fight them, but his wounds were really severe. The men were about to finish him. That’s when John-An came to the rescue. He drew his sword, and blocked one of the attackers blade before it reached Naked Shia. John-An then fought bravely the army of men in black on his own.
I am The Knight, hearing the sound of the battle, was about to break in. But before he could do so, the front door of the HQ exploded, and an army of men in black came in. Naked Shia’s team was badly outnumbered, without any hope to win.
Travesty claimed « such an attack couln’t happen without help from the inside ! I was right ! »
The whole building was in fire, and the team was habing a hard time fighting those goons.
Roose Bolton, who was exchanging blows against a huge man, claimed « I think this is the end, we won’t be able to beat them. It was an honor to fight among you guys. »
Everything went black…

***

Naked Shia was hidden in the forest, alone. He didn’t want to leave anyone behind, but John-An saved his life, by sacrificing himself and Gianakin. He pushed Naked throught a secret hide-away, and then proceeded to destroy the tunnel, so that nobody would be able to follow him. « I’m sorry I failed you Shia. But your life matters most. Don’t cry for me, for I’m proud to die on the battlefield. It is a death worthy of a warrior, and thus I have no regret. ».
Naked had to live. To honor those who fought for him. To avenge them. After a while, he discovered a little house made of wood. He entered in said house. There was a cooked chicken, and the smell made him salivate. He didn’t want to steal anyone’s food, but his stomach was hurting. He bite just a little, and felt ashamed of himself. Suddenly, the door opened, and a strong man with a big beard and an axe entered. Immediatly, the bearded giant threw his axe to cut Shia in half. Naked managed to avoid it, but his wounds made his moves sloppy. He caught a chair, and hit the giant with it, to almost no effect.
« - Stealing one’s chicken is no joke, I’m telling you. But I can’t beat a wounded man. It would’nt be an honorable feat.
- I didn’t want to steal. I just nearly died, and I was so hungry… I’m sorry. I can’t die now. I have to live to fight another day.
- I know you, don’t I ? This paper bag… I have heard of it. You’re Naked Shia, the hero who stood up against Sawyer.
- It’s me. My men were killed in a trap. I’m alone now. And they’re hunting me.
- I see. I, Jokesonm3, swear I won’t let my guest get caught. You can stay as long as you need.
- I may not stay that long. They are already here.
- But… those men in black duds… they are not Sawyer’s men.
- Are you sure of that.
- Oh, I am sure. For they destroyed my family. I swore to avenge them. Go. Use the backdoor. I will handle them.
- But there is too many of them. You can’t win !
- As long as it saves your life, and I can kill a lot of them, I will consider it a victory. Now go ! And avenge us !
- I didn’t know there were still such heroes as you, apart from my good friends who I will never see again… »

Naked Shia ran through the backdoor without turning back. Jokesonm3 went out through the front door. « I’ve been waiting for you. It’s time you pay for all your crimes. ». He then humped into the fray, swinging his axe like it weighed nothing. Only a few seconds later, he had already killed 15 of them. But it was a helpless fight. There was still an army of those men in black. One of them sliced him, another stabbed him… his wounds were major. But he wouldn’t put a knee on the ground. It wasn’t pride. It was honor.
Suddenly, a man with a katana, riding a horse cut several of the men in black in half. He rode through them, and caught Jokesonm3’s arm. « I’m Tacit-ronin, Naked Shia’s old pal. I’ve heard about his war and I came to help, only to find his headquarters in flames. I tracked him, and saw how brave you were, in order to save his life. You deserve to live. Together, we will find him, and we will make sure he wins the war. »

***

Silliminite was the last man standing. Litterally. All of his friends were lying in the HQ ruins. All was lost. Or so it seemed. But he wasn’t ready to lose hope. He knew he could still save them. He ran to his car, caught some wires, and shocked Provost. « You… you saved me ! But what about the others ? ». Silliminite stared at him with intensity. « We will save them too. There is not one second to waste ! ». One after the other, all of Naked Shia’s team was relieved, thanks to Silliminite’s insane will. Except for Gianakin.
« - I couldn’t protect him. Said John-An. I had to save Naked’s life, and while I did try to save Gia, I failed. ».
Annefan put his hand on his shoulder. « You didn’t fail. Without you, Gia would be dead. And so would Naked. You were the bravest of us all. But not everything is lost. While gia may be in a coma right now, he may come back to life later. I know of a great enchantress who has the powers to bring him back.
- You’re talking about Anne ? Asked Reek.
- That’s right.
- But you know that you won’t be able to woo her anymore if you bring another man to her.
- I know. But it’s worth it. To save Gianakin’s life.
- I know we’ve had our difference, but man, you’re an inspiration. I whish I could be more like you.
- Reek, I’ve hated you as well. But were it not for you, this wole team would be dead already. Your rage has saved us several times.
- In the end, bro will always come before girls.
- AnneFan, Reek… you gave me hope again. Thank you. No, I know we will find Naked Shia. We will make the team even greater as before ! ».

It was decided that the team would split in two. The first group would bring Gianakin to Anne Hathaway, so that he could be savec and explain what the big threat was. The second group would find Naked Shia and heal him. Then, they would meet again and prepare for the final battlle against Sawyer.

***​

 

[Naked Shia]

***


Under the ruins of Sawyer’s castle. Fallen Angel was in pain. He had covered his pals with his body just before the place exploded. Thanks to him, they were alive. But they couldn’t escape without help. Even he wasn’t strong enough to move all those rocks.
« - You know Helion, if we do get out of this, I want you to let me have Dumbo. It will be my nimbus from now on.
- Whatever you want dude, as long as we make it out alive… which I’m afraid we won’t.
- I’m not afraid, I’m angry. Replied Bruce Begins.
- You do not fear death. You think this makes you strong. It makes you weak.
- Why ?
- I don’t know. It sounded good. »

The ruins were about to collapse for good, and even the powerful angel couldn’t do a thing about it. But suddenly, a flying man with a red and golden armour destroyed said ruins with a lazer beam. « I’m Iron Stark. I have heard of the tales of NAked Shia and his courageous knight. I’m impressed by your bravery and I’m here to help you. ».


***


Naked Shia was running naked in the forst. An army of men with black duds was pursuing him. Exhausted, he decided to stop and face them. At first, they were afraid of how perfect his nakedness was. But eventually, they attacked him. Naked was so strong, he manaed to beat dozens of them, but the more he would beat them, the more would come. The odds were impossible, even for this great man.
Just when he was about to lose hope, Lixdixia, Batlobsterrises, chaseter and haplesshenchman came to his rescue.
Lixdixia used a powerful scream to kill the attackers. Batlobsterrises splat them with his batlobster. Chaseter fired them. And Haplesshenchman… ate them. Quickly, they destroyed the men in black. Naked Shia was safe thanks to their courage.
The lot of them then met Naked’s army.
They were joined by Napoleon. « I have a message from the invincible Sawyer. He wants to fight you in a duel to the death. » Naked Shia stared at him with intensity. « I will do it. »


***


A few days later, both warriors was in the round of death. Sawyer swung his sword at Naked, who dodged it by jumping. The fight lasted several hours. It was a boring fight, because Sawyer would always swung his sword in the same manner, and Naked would always dodge it with a jump. But when AnneFan screamed « boring ! », Naked decided to up his game. While jumping, he threw a punch at Sawyer, who fell down. « Kill me ! » Screamd Sawyer. But Naked wouldn’t do it. « You are a courageous man. I prefer to have you at my side than in a grave. If you want to fight for the greater good, just do it. ». Sawyer nodded. « I now understand why those people are following you. Consider my sword yours from now on. »
Dude Stannis came to congratulate Naked Shia. When Sawyer saw him, he claimed « what is this guy doing here ? ». Dude then grabbed a knife and tried to hit Naked Shia. Luckily, Roose Bolton put himself in his way. As he was wearing an armour, the knife never reached him. Before anyone could make a move to stop dude, Parker Wayne, Marvolo, Slackbrian, Whiskey Tango and Slick attacked Sawyer, Naked and Roose, whi allowed Dude to escape. A few seconds later, they were gone.
« Naked, you have to know the truth about Dude Stannis. He came to me. He asked to be my « only greek counsellor ». He offered to tell your secrets. I didn’t agree, because there is no honor in such a victory. But obviously, he did sell you to the men in black duds who attacked you earlier. »
« I see. We need to stop him. Right now. He still have enough intel to help those dangerous men in black. We will deal with them later. »​

 

[Naked Shia]

After all those fights, Naked’s army needed to rest. All of them were in the drunk room. Reek was the one who named it that way, because he liked to get drunk there. It was near the water closet. Everybody was drunk too. But Reek wouldn’t let it go. He wanted to prove he could drink more than anyone else. And he would drink this new alcohol, which Naked named the naked love. Snow Queen rose to Reek’s challenge. « I’m telling you, nobody has ever beat me in a drinking contest. It is I who will win. I won’t stop drinking until Reek vomit his birth certificate. »
« I don’t care if I win, claimed Reek. This naked love is so good I would drink it for free anyway ! ».
« You’re not making any sense Reek ! replied Snow Queen. »
« And you… are not old enough to drink I’m sure ! ». Snow Queen threw a punch that sent Reek on the floor as her only reply.
Quickly, other warriors decided to drink the naked nectar. It was indeed really good. But things got ugly when they fell into a coma.
« Everybody move the way ! Screamed Silliminite. I will examine them. I won’t stop until they are saved. I won’t rest until Naked Shia’s army is full again ! ».
Alas, Silliminite understood it was hopeless without the proper cure.
« I will go. Claimed Naked Shia. For the sake of my brothers in arms, I shall risk my life to find the cure. It is what a real leader has to do. »
« We can’t let you go, replied Roose. We need you here. Let us go. I swear by my sword, I will have no rest until I have found the cure ».
Pink Ranger decided to talk too : « I see you wanna save your lover Reek, Roose. If there is one thing worth fighting for, in my book. It is love. And sex too. Thus I will help you. Together we shall save Reek and all the others, and have an orgy to celebrate. ».
Roose looked surprised, and a little uneasy « what makes you think Reek and I are lovers ? »
« I’ve seen you cuddle gently, while listening to some Barry white songs. » answered Pink Ranger.
« But that’s what friends do ! » replied Roose.
« I’m not sure about that. Interrupted Naked Shia. I mean, I’ve never done that with a friend. IT doesn’t bother me the slightest that you and Reek are lovers. But you should be honest about it, and tell him how you feel, before it’s too late. »
« What do you mean », asked Roose.
« Love is not a laughing matter. Explained Sawyer. You have to fight for love. You have to protect what is sacred, or else, someone else may take you lover away from you. Be it me, or death itself. »

Roose stood there, contemplating life for a minute. He had to make a choice now, he knew it.


***​

 

[ThePhantasm]

 

[Naked Shia]

but you shall read it! Or else you're doomed!

 

[ThePhantasm]

why is the text center aligned? that's like saying "how can i format this in the most headache-inducing way possible"??

 

[Naked Shia]

I wanted it to look like poetry.