I am a collector...

[Saint553]

After getting angry at the other collectors out there and nearly leaving the hobby entirely about a year ago, I wrote this, and just recently found it again on an old harddrive. I wrote in the voice of a bastard collector I met at walmart. Feel free to add on!

I am a collector and I…


…am in Walmart more often than the geriatric greeter.

…despise scalpers but have never actually seen any in action. But they do exist and they screw me over daily. And no, it’s not other collectors or random customers getting stuff before me.

…am more concerned with the points of articulation on a female figure than I am an actually female.

…think trading Weapon X Wolverine for a Dark Phoenix is a fair trade because anything else would be scalping.

…have 8 customs I have been meaning to get to but haven’t started nor come close to finishing any of them in over a year.

…get furiously angry and personally attack people I don’t even know when my favorite robot isn’t comic accurate.

…then had to deal with my mom after she came down to the basement and told me to stop screaming so loud.

…know more about the action figure aisle than the people in charge of it. It’s not because they don’t care and have a life, it’s because they’re dumb and incompetent.

…think my complaints over the poor craftsmanship of a figure will go straight to the top of a company and the change will be made instantaneously before my eyes.

…have more female figures made in the Marvel Legends line than women I’ve actually spoken to in real life.

…thank those women for talking to me for longer than 5 minutes.

…refrain from talking to fellow collectors in real life at the store as they are probably just scalpers in disguise.

…pretend the figures I’m getting are for my son, even if I’m only 18 and have never been laid.

…think I know better than Jesse Falcon.

 

[HCpride]

…despise scalpers but have never actually seen any in action. But they do exist and they screw me over daily. And no, it’s not other collectors or random customers getting stuff before me.

this one makes me laugh b/c other collectors in my area probably think im a scalper
i get to **** usually before anyone else and get all i need at once usually

 

[Roughneck]

....I plan my Vacations around when figures will be released in the US, cause Canada sucks.

....I Have vigorously trained my dogs to stay out of the living room for fear that they may find a new chew toy.

....I know the story of how Toybiz became marvel and then became toybiz again.

....Yell and scream over the ****ing goddamned stupis ass mother ****ing seven ****ing inch goddamned scale of the stupis assripping **** licking Justice line.

 

[Lord Valumart]

....all my freind know 'the drill'

....my gf buys me toys and i get annoyed at her cause i already have them

....i know the quickest way to the toy section during X-mas time

....i fail to notice that my hallway is filled with MOC figs and that this is the reason girls run away when i invite them in for "coffee"

 

[Roughneck]

....my co-workers all know about my obsession but still don't realise just how big it is.


I say this one cause I am throwing a Staff Appreciation Kegger on Friday and they are all gonne see just how big this collection is.

 

[HCpride]

staff appreciation kegger
lol

 

[Saint553]

Staff appreciation Kegger AKA Sally tries a second time to get lucky.

 

[SpiderHulkThing]

I am a collector and I…


…am in Walmart more often than the geriatric greeter.

…despise scalpers but have never actually seen any in action. But they do exist and they screw me over daily. And no, it’s not other collectors or random customers getting stuff before me.

…am more concerned with the points of articulation on a female figure than I am an actually female.

…think trading Weapon X Wolverine for a Dark Phoenix is a fair trade because anything else would be scalping.

…have 8 customs I have been meaning to get to but haven’t started nor come close to finishing any of them in over a year.

…get furiously angry and personally attack people I don’t even know when my favorite robot isn’t comic accurate.

…then had to deal with my mom after she came down to the basement and told me to stop screaming so loud.

…know more about the action figure aisle than the people in charge of it. It’s not because they don’t care and have a life, it’s because they’re dumb and incompetent.

…think my complaints over the poor craftsmanship of a figure will go straight to the top of a company and the change will be made instantaneously before my eyes.

…have more female figures made in the Marvel Legends line than women I’ve actually spoken to in real life.

…thank those women for talking to me for longer than 5 minutes.

…refrain from talking to fellow collectors in real life at the store as they are probably just scalpers in disguise.

…pretend the figures I’m getting are for my son, even if I’m only 18 and have never been laid.

…think I know better than Jesse Falcon.

...wasted a lot of time making a list making fun of people who have no lives and can't see the irony.

 

[Saint553]

...only spent about 10 minutes making it from what I remember. It's really only directed towards this one collector I met and some fwooshers. A recent episode of South Park reminded me of it.

 

[FEAR THE BAT]

...get mad that I never find the variants at retail

...get mad because I check everyday for a week straight and I see nothing but when I skip a day or two and go back I see nothing but peg-warming scraps from the newest wave

...get mad when I'm trying to scope out the paint apps on al the figures trying to pick the best one and somebody comes in my way of what I'm doing and starts grabbing the ones I'm considering buying but haven't put in my cart because I still have more figures to look through

...get mad when I go to the toy aisle kinda half expecting to see a fig I want then seeing that a whole case has been stocked and then I have to run back to the front to get a cart only to come back and some f***er is already nabbing the figs

...get mad about seeing the figures I want but they have horrible paint applications

...get mad when I go toy hunting and don't see anything but peg-warmers like Bullseye or AOA Sabertooth

 

[Roughneck]

Staff appreciation Kegger AKA Sally tries a second time to get lucky.

Well Saint sees through my little scheme...and it's more then the second time.