I really need help

[C.F. Kane]

I've been down a lot lately. I feel like I don't have any friends, I've gained a lot of weight, my work is slipping, and I feel that everything I touch turns to *****. And Christ, I'm so desperate to get this off my chest that I'm telling it to a message board instead of having the balls to say it to real people.

This is what scares me. Every time I feel like I mess up my thoughts almost immediately turn to, "what would happen if I killed myself right now?" I think about who would miss me, who wouldn't, how life would go on without me. I even found myself categorizing which methods would be the least painful. And this happens every time I fail. Even if it's only for a moment every major failure I've faced has some thought of suicide accompanied with it. I'm really scared.

 

[Sam Fisher]

 

[Abaddon]

it happens guy. you just got to power through.


edit: cool I posted before the e-word was mentioned.

 

[Kritish]

Suicide is for the weak, suck it up and stop asking members of a forum about super heros.

 

[SuperFerret]

Suicide is for the weak, suck it up and stop asking members of a forum about super heros.

Shut the **** up.

I've been down a lot lately. I feel like I don't have any friends, I've gained a lot of weight, my work is slipping, and I feel that everything I touch turns to *****. And Christ, I'm so desperate to get this off my chest that I'm telling it to a message board instead of having the balls to say it to real people.

This is what scares me. Every time I feel like I mess up my thoughts almost immediately turn to, "what would happen if I killed myself right now?" I think about who would miss me, who wouldn't, how life would go on without me. I even found myself categorizing which methods would be the least painful. And this happens every time I fail. Even if it's only for a moment every major failure I've faced has some thought of suicide accompanied with it. I'm really scared.

Admitting you're depressed and having suicidal thoughts is a good sign, however hokey and typical that sounds. You really should just bite the bullet and talk to someone you know about how you're feeling. It doesn't even have to be an authority figure of any kind, just talk to one of your friends or siblings (if you have any siblings) about it.

I'M sure you'll find something of use here. http://www.afsp.org/

Just stay strong. The people you love will help you through any hardships, all you need to do is ask.

 

[hey yo its sean]

We all have our ups and downs. It's the way of the game. What matters most is that we perservere, and make it through the rough patches. I'm gonna quote Rocky Balboa. Why? Because he's my hero. And yours too. Even if you don't know it yet.

It aint about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done.

Just do all you can, and keep hope alive.

 

[Sam Fisher]

Suicide is for the weak, suck it up and stop asking members of a forum about super heros.

Wow, what an idiot.

 

[Orko Is King]

My advice is...

Talk to someone who knows you well and cares about you...IN PERSON.

 

[Ben Urich]

Churchill once said "If you're going through hell, keep going." Life may be hard right now, but it will pass, as all things do.

If you're really concerned and think you might have, like, a more serious problem, I'd suggest seeing a medical professional. Antidepressants do wonders for me.

Hang in there, good buddy.

 

[Darth Elektra]

Hang in there!

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

I've been down a lot lately. I feel like I don't have any friends, I've gained a lot of weight, my work is slipping, and I feel that everything I touch turns to *****. And Christ, I'm so desperate to get this off my chest that I'm telling it to a message board instead of having the balls to say it to real people.

This is what scares me. Every time I feel like I mess up my thoughts almost immediately turn to, "what would happen if I killed myself right now?" I think about who would miss me, who wouldn't, how life would go on without me. I even found myself categorizing which methods would be the least painful. And this happens every time I fail. Even if it's only for a moment every major failure I've faced has some thought of suicide accompanied with it. I'm really scared.

You're scared, but doesn't the fact that you are scared by these thoughts indicate that you really do want to live?

It doesn't matter that it sounds like a cliche. By sheer force of the fact that you've experienced more life, chronologically, there's a highish chance of growing more wise with age. And I am way older than you.

And I will tell you that I've thought about what a relief suicide might be many times in my life. Once while nearly blacked-out drunk I even half-heartedly tried to jump out of a window during a huge fight with my fiance ( what an ass I was ). But the fact I've seen beared out is...often you're in the depths of a low point in your life, and years later, you're looking back at it almost laughing, because things are so much better that you can't even believe it ever seemed so looming and large in your life.

The fact remains, if you're alive, there IS a potential for things to improve, whether it's over night, or 5 years down the road.
But if you're dead, there is no chance. So, why not just stick around to see if it does improve? What's the worst that can happen?....you die later than sooner. *shrug*

 

[GoldenAgeHero]

I've been down a lot lately. I feel like I don't have any friends, I've gained a lot of weight, my work is slipping, and I feel that everything I touch turns to *****. And Christ, I'm so desperate to get this off my chest that I'm telling it to a message board instead of having the balls to say it to real people.

This is what scares me. Every time I feel like I mess up my thoughts almost immediately turn to, "what would happen if I killed myself right now?" I think about who would miss me, who wouldn't, how life would go on without me. I even found myself categorizing which methods would be the least painful. And this happens every time I fail. Even if it's only for a moment every major failure I've faced has some thought of suicide accompanied with it. I'm really scared.

welcome to the life of GAH.

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

C. F.!
NOOOOOoooo
Don't GAH yourself!

 

[NewYorkSpider]

I feel like i've been there before. You feel like nobody gives a **** who you are or what you do. I just live with it and don't let anybody get the best of me. Hang in there.

 

[GoldenAgeHero]

he's been touched by the GAH.

 

[C.F. Kane]

Thanks, guys.

 

[Honey Vibe]

You can always talk to your pals on Hype

 

[AndThePickles]

It sounds like some professional counseling would do you some good. Your phrasing that you're "so desperate to get this off your chest" shows that most of all, you could use someone to talk to. A psychologist really can help in this situation....it'll give you an unbiased person to turn to.

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

Getting laid always helped me.

 

[blind_fury]

Just rememeber, yes things could be better, But things could be a hell of alot worse.

Try to appreciate your blessings. There are millions of people who would love to be in your shoes and worry about being overweight or loneliness instead of worrying about food, physical/sexual abuse or day-to-day surivival. If you can't stop thinking about negative things seek professional help before your mindset worsens. It will be worth the time and investment.

 

[Assassin]

Don't kill yourself dude. Its not worth it.

C. F. Kane matters to me.

 

[The Watchman]

From a guy with a degree in psychology, sounds like situational depression, it should pass. If it doesn't there is no shame in seeking help.

 

[Cosmic]

C.F. Kane: anytime you feel the need, feel free to send me a p.m. and talk to me, brother. AndThePickles gave some good advice...get someone, preferably a professional, to sit down with you and listen to what you have to say. Later on, you'll look back with pride that you survived in your struggles.

 

[The Amazing Lee]

I hope you get through this man. We all feel unhappy at times. I do and I don't particularly enjoy it but you've just gotta stick your chin up high and look towards the future. JUST smile.

 

[LadyVader]

Go ride a sleigh or something.