Makes you appreciate Singer, Raimi and company just a tad more... X-Men... Wolverine (Philip Seymore Hoffman) is traveling with a girl named Rouge (Jennifer Aniston) and they get attacked by Sabertooth (Hank Azaria) who is from the IRS. They are rescued by Cyclops (Antonio Banderas) and Storm (Tara Reid). They soon meet Charles Xavier (Ben Stein) who gets around in a NEON wheelchair with the help of Jean Grey (Alicia Silverstone). They dress in black leather suits with nipples, then go into battle against Xavier's nemesis Magneto (Eddie Griffin) and his assistant Mystique (Beyonce Knowles) who is going to use a NEON machine to make everyone watch "Survivor" for all time. Look for a cameo by Snoop Dogg as a street hustler dressed in NEON. The Hulk... Bruce Banner (Freddie Prinze Jr.), is a nuclear scientist who gets caught a big NEON explosion. When Banner's Judy Garland record collection is destroyed by his arch-rival, the mustlebound NEON mastermind Abomination (Tom Cruise) and his sidekick the penis-shaped, villian the Leader (Chris Tucker), Banner's rage unleashes his darker side in the form of a green, naked NEON creature named Hulk (The Rock) and wrecks the joint. Look for a cameo by Missy Eliot as a hooker dressed in NEON. Spider-Man... Meek and mild Peter Parker (John Stamos) is in love with dope addict Mary Jane Watson (Kate Moss) and hangs out with friend Harry Osborn (Martin Lawrence). Peter is bitten by a NEON radioactive spider and then takes on all the abilities of the arachnid, which includes shooting NEON webbing from his nipples. When Peter's uncle Ben (Rev. Jerry Falwell) throws out his Will Clark rookie card, Peter vows to fight injustice and becomes the amazing Spider-Man. Meanwhile, industrialist Norman Osborn (Jeff Goldblum) experiments with a gas and it turns him into the evil Green Goblin who flies around on a NEON glider, and hits on Peter's aunt May (Brittany Murphy), thus making he and Spider-Man mortal enemies. Watch for Macy Gray as a hooker dressed in NEON. Daredevil... Driven mad by the NEON lights of Hell's Kitchen, lawyer Matt Murdock (Justin Timberlake), blinds himself in order to escape the horror. Weilding a penis-shaped billy club, Murdock becomes an avenger of the night, the crimson-clad Daredevil who sets out to take down the crime boss responsible for all the NEON: the Kingpin (Vin Diesel) and his henchman the lethal Bullseye (Chris Katan) and Mr. Hyde (Sinbad). Look for a cameo by Mariah Carey as a hooker dressed in NEON. Superman... On the far-off planet Krypton, the wise Jor-El (Ashton Kutcher) sends his infant son Kal-El in a NEON rocket to Earth for no reason. The child is found and raised by Jonathan (Jerry Springer) and Martha (Pamela Anderson). The boy grows into Clark Kent (Will Smith) and leaves home to find out who he is. In the NEON Fortress of Solitude, he finds a blue jumpsuit and a penis-shaped NEON jetpack and becomes Superman. In the city of Metropolis, he works for the Daily Planet newspaper and meets Lois Lane (Halle Berry), Jimmy Olsen (Jet Li) and editor Perry White (Dennis Leary). As Superman, Clark must foil the evil Lex Luthor (Edward James Olmos). Look for Britney Spears as a hotdog vendor dressed in NEON. Blade... The half-human/half-vampire warrior named Blade (Guy Pearce) battles the bloodsuckers constantly with his NEON sword never knowing who his daddy is or what he does. Under the guidance of Whistler (Fred Willard), Blade must track down the evil Deacon Frost (Bob Saget) who plans to enhance all vampires with NEON so they can go out in the daytime. Joining Blade's cause is Karen (Lea Thompson) a doctor of somesort to who wants to have sex with a vampire. DMX shows up as Frost's personal assistant dressed in NEON. Fantastic Four... Four friends test fly a rocket ship that becomes bombarded by strange cosmic rays that give them extra-ordinary powers. Sue Storm (Britney Spears) turns invisble and is never seen in the movie again, her brother Johnny (Shumacher himself) becomes the NEON Human Torch. Ben Grimm (Kurt Angle) becomes a monsterous, brainless, cigar chomping rocky creature named Thing, and Reed Richards (Antonio Sabato Jr.) gains the ability to stretch certain parts of his body (oddly however, this power only seems to work in the prescence of Grimm).Together they thwart the plans to take over the world by the mind controlling Puppet Masterbater (Paul Ruebens) and his henchman the dreaded, but naive Doctor Doom (John Travolta). Look for a cameo by Jay Z as a street husler dressed in NEON.