If Pitof Directed ______-Man
- Thread starter MutantCircus
- Start date
Pitof Presents: Lobo
Unlike his alien comic book counterpart, the Lobo in this film (Steve Gutenberg) is Lon Bomont (Nickname "Lobo" for short) an auto mechanic in Jersey. He gets his kicks by banging hookers underneath cars that he has propped up on his floor jack. One day, while banging one such hooker, a sexy syren called Frida Five Fingers (Salma Hayek), she reveals herself to be a sorceress from the 873rd dimension. Periodically, female emissaries from this dimensions will travel to our world to find a mate because all of the men in that universe are eunuchs. So Lobo goes with Frida to this dimension to impregnate all of the women there. He arrives and promptly bangs about 300 women in a single night, impregnating all of them. Amazed at his uncanny virilty, Frida and the other sorceresses bless Lobo with the superhuman ability to transform into James Brolin at will so that when he goes back to his world, he can use this power for the good of mankind.
Upon his return to Earth, Lobo learns that his evil half brother Loren Coldwell "Loco" (Craig Fergason) has unleashed Bubonic plague all across the entire East Coast for no apparent reason. He also has somehow gain the ability to emit lightning bolts from his eyebrows. Lobo confronts Loco, and a fierce clash ensues. Loco nearly electrocutes Lobo to death but luckily, Lobo has managed to morph into James Brolin and bores Loco to death by reciting lines from his short lived 90's syndicated TV show "Pensacola: Wings of Gold." Lobo then goes off to further his quest for truth, justice, and whey protein.
Unlike his alien comic book counterpart, the Lobo in this film (Steve Gutenberg) is Lon Bomont (Nickname "Lobo" for short) an auto mechanic in Jersey. He gets his kicks by banging hookers underneath cars that he has propped up on his floor jack. One day, while banging one such hooker, a sexy syren called Frida Five Fingers (Salma Hayek), she reveals herself to be a sorceress from the 873rd dimension. Periodically, female emissaries from this dimensions will travel to our world to find a mate because all of the men in that universe are eunuchs. So Lobo goes with Frida to this dimension to impregnate all of the women there. He arrives and promptly bangs about 300 women in a single night, impregnating all of them. Amazed at his uncanny virilty, Frida and the other sorceresses bless Lobo with the superhuman ability to transform into James Brolin at will so that when he goes back to his world, he can use this power for the good of mankind.
Upon his return to Earth, Lobo learns that his evil half brother Loren Coldwell "Loco" (Craig Fergason) has unleashed Bubonic plague all across the entire East Coast for no apparent reason. He also has somehow gain the ability to emit lightning bolts from his eyebrows. Lobo confronts Loco, and a fierce clash ensues. Loco nearly electrocutes Lobo to death but luckily, Lobo has managed to morph into James Brolin and bores Loco to death by reciting lines from his short lived 90's syndicated TV show "Pensacola: Wings of Gold." Lobo then goes off to further his quest for truth, justice, and whey protein.
Spike_x1
Get off my bandwagon!
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The first part of that is too much like Lobo from the comics to be directed by Pitof.That-Guy said:
A real Pitof adaptation of Lobo would have Pierce Brosnan in the lead and he plays an investment banker who deals with the troubles of his family as his daughter becomes a lesbian and his wife leaves him for the mail man.
devilgirl
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trolls and people posting to trolls....anyway.
**************************************
Pitof presents : Casablanca
staring the olsen twins and ozzy ozbourne
****************************************
Pitof presents Moulin Rouge
Halley berry Adam Sandler and the muppets
Welcome to a celebration of
Leather, boobs,whips
And above all things
Sex.
The greatest thing you'll ever learn
is to whip, and be whipped
in return
"FANTASTIC...FOUR!" dude in line for FF
"WOW...YOU'RE TWISTED" Tom Cruise
"A groundbreaking, breathtaking DG experience" :some dude on the net
"TAKE OFF YOUR TOP": soccerdude321
**********************************
Coming soon .
**************************************
Pitof presents : Casablanca
staring the olsen twins and ozzy ozbourne
****************************************
Pitof presents Moulin Rouge
Halley berry Adam Sandler and the muppets
Welcome to a celebration of
Leather, boobs,whips
And above all things
Sex.
The greatest thing you'll ever learn
is to whip, and be whipped
in return
"FANTASTIC...FOUR!" dude in line for FF
"WOW...YOU'RE TWISTED" Tom Cruise
"A groundbreaking, breathtaking DG experience" :some dude on the net
"TAKE OFF YOUR TOP": soccerdude321
**********************************
Coming soon .
Ultimate_Superman
Avenger
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This thread is still around? I loved it so much.
Here's something that sort of fits in this thread. It's my response to Steven Spielberg's proposal of making an "E.T. 2."
I think Spielberg should go all out and just do a sequel to all of his big movies combined. The movie could start out with Elliot getting eaten by a Tyrannosaurus Rex which has escaped from Jurassic Park, to which E.T. returns to earth in a tripod and destroys the entire West Coast, seeking revenge for the death of his friend. Then, Captain Hook sails the Amistad into battle against the aliens, because they have captured Private Ryan and since all of his brothers have been killed by the aliens, that buys him a free ticket home. Hook discovers that the only way to combat the aliens is by playing music that soothes them, and they eventually relent. There is a big happy resolve for a few moments before the Nazis come in and throw everyone in concentration camps. Fortunately, Oskar Schindler uses his craftiness to save their lives and gets them all released, but not before the T-Rex shows up again, this time teamed with Jaws and they start trying to eat everybody. In the nick of time, Indiana Jones shows up flying around a WWII plane from the year 1941 screaming Catch me if you can! He already knows how to defeat the two vicious beast because he used the pre-cogs and saw the future. He leads them to an airport where they are detained because both of their respective habitats are now inhospitable (the Jurassic period ended 5 billion years ago and the ocean has become too polluted to sustain wildlife) so the two creatures end up living out the rest of their lives in the terminal. While attempting to fly back to the year 1941, Indiana Jones sees a car being chased down by a tractor trailer in the middle of the desert. He shoots at the semi-truck and blows out its tires, sending it crashing down over the side of a mountain. Then he lands the plane and approaches the car to see if the driver is okay. To his surprise, the car is being driven by what appears to be a 9 year old kid. The young boy explains that his name is David and that he is an android with real human emotions. Not sure what to do with this kid, Indiana takes him along to 1941 where he drops him off in Shanghai, ten minutes before it is invaded by the Japanese. David lives out the next several years in a confinement camp, bringing hope and inspiration to the other prisoners.
Sound stupid? Well, its not any dumber than making a sequel to E.T.
I think Spielberg should go all out and just do a sequel to all of his big movies combined. The movie could start out with Elliot getting eaten by a Tyrannosaurus Rex which has escaped from Jurassic Park, to which E.T. returns to earth in a tripod and destroys the entire West Coast, seeking revenge for the death of his friend. Then, Captain Hook sails the Amistad into battle against the aliens, because they have captured Private Ryan and since all of his brothers have been killed by the aliens, that buys him a free ticket home. Hook discovers that the only way to combat the aliens is by playing music that soothes them, and they eventually relent. There is a big happy resolve for a few moments before the Nazis come in and throw everyone in concentration camps. Fortunately, Oskar Schindler uses his craftiness to save their lives and gets them all released, but not before the T-Rex shows up again, this time teamed with Jaws and they start trying to eat everybody. In the nick of time, Indiana Jones shows up flying around a WWII plane from the year 1941 screaming Catch me if you can! He already knows how to defeat the two vicious beast because he used the pre-cogs and saw the future. He leads them to an airport where they are detained because both of their respective habitats are now inhospitable (the Jurassic period ended 5 billion years ago and the ocean has become too polluted to sustain wildlife) so the two creatures end up living out the rest of their lives in the terminal. While attempting to fly back to the year 1941, Indiana Jones sees a car being chased down by a tractor trailer in the middle of the desert. He shoots at the semi-truck and blows out its tires, sending it crashing down over the side of a mountain. Then he lands the plane and approaches the car to see if the driver is okay. To his surprise, the car is being driven by what appears to be a 9 year old kid. The young boy explains that his name is David and that he is an android with real human emotions. Not sure what to do with this kid, Indiana takes him along to 1941 where he drops him off in Shanghai, ten minutes before it is invaded by the Japanese. David lives out the next several years in a confinement camp, bringing hope and inspiration to the other prisoners.
Sound stupid? Well, its not any dumber than making a sequel to E.T.
shinlyle
King of the Haters
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That was great!!
Speaking of great, go see Wedding Crashers! That movie was funny as hell....without being too stupid, believe it or not!
And, in honor of it, I must do this:
Pitof Presents....Wedding Crashers.
Herr Wilson (Owen Wilson) and Herr Vaughn (Vince Vaughn) are two reluctant Nazis who hav ebeen hired by Da Fuhrer to ransack weddings and look for the Holy Grail, which is being used as a champagne glass in one of the many commoner weddings going on in Europe.
They disguise themselves as French, Italian, and even Africans in attempts to find the cup of Christ, but to no avail. They manage to get alot of Streudal, though! Eveyone gives them streudal, everywhere they go. They eat so much streudal that they become unable to fit into there gestapo uniforms!!
They meet up with two middle-aged maidens, Frau Biggun (Rosanne Barr), and Frau Who-you-foolin' (Rosie O'Donnel). The two maidens begin to chase them down, in hopes of marrying military men, and the fuhrer begins chasing them down to punish them for eating too much streudal and becoming traitors of the Aryan race! The boys are eventually overtaken by the Nazis, who roll them downhill and force them onto their backs, where they are unable to get up, much like a turtle on its back.
Before they can be executed, the are offered one last meal....which is delivered by the maidens! They resuce the men under the condition that they wed them. The men agree and they make their escape.
They are promptly wed as they arrive in the home village of Dykenstad, where they learn that the ladies didn't marry them for love or for their military connections, but because they were lesbians who needed to marry to escape persecution from Hitler!!! After they are wed, the Nazis catch the men and shoot them, while the women continue to live as fat, happy lesbians who are believed to be fat, sad widows.
The end.
Speaking of great, go see Wedding Crashers! That movie was funny as hell....without being too stupid, believe it or not!
And, in honor of it, I must do this:
Pitof Presents....Wedding Crashers.
Herr Wilson (Owen Wilson) and Herr Vaughn (Vince Vaughn) are two reluctant Nazis who hav ebeen hired by Da Fuhrer to ransack weddings and look for the Holy Grail, which is being used as a champagne glass in one of the many commoner weddings going on in Europe.
They disguise themselves as French, Italian, and even Africans in attempts to find the cup of Christ, but to no avail. They manage to get alot of Streudal, though! Eveyone gives them streudal, everywhere they go. They eat so much streudal that they become unable to fit into there gestapo uniforms!!
They meet up with two middle-aged maidens, Frau Biggun (Rosanne Barr), and Frau Who-you-foolin' (Rosie O'Donnel). The two maidens begin to chase them down, in hopes of marrying military men, and the fuhrer begins chasing them down to punish them for eating too much streudal and becoming traitors of the Aryan race! The boys are eventually overtaken by the Nazis, who roll them downhill and force them onto their backs, where they are unable to get up, much like a turtle on its back.
Before they can be executed, the are offered one last meal....which is delivered by the maidens! They resuce the men under the condition that they wed them. The men agree and they make their escape.
They are promptly wed as they arrive in the home village of Dykenstad, where they learn that the ladies didn't marry them for love or for their military connections, but because they were lesbians who needed to marry to escape persecution from Hitler!!! After they are wed, the Nazis catch the men and shoot them, while the women continue to live as fat, happy lesbians who are believed to be fat, sad widows.
The end.
shinlyle
King of the Haters
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Don't know if this has been done yet...and I'm far too lazy to check.
Pitof Presents...V for Vendetta.
Lori Horiwitz (Halle Berry) is arrested for her involvement in a kidnapping of a small goldfish with a natural "V" on it's fin. The people give her the choice of fighting with them and learning how to do wire-style kung-fu, or she can be whacked on the face with a salmon one hundred times. She refuses and takes her fish-whacks like a champ. She goes back to her apartment only to find a large "V" in red ink on her door. She walks into her apartment to find a strange man in a mask of penus-nosed Owen Wilson!!
After having sex with him and his mask, they begin to talk about the future. He wants his goldfish back, and he's willing to do anything or anyone to get to it. He gives her a shot in the arm, and she is sudden;y bestoed with wire kung fu teams, all ready to make her do tons of stunts! On top of that, she can give super blow-jobs that will render her adversaries unconscious. After her mystery friend lets her try it out on him, they go to take back the Goldfish!!!
They storm the headquarters, and Lori's wire-team helps her manuever around slow-moving bullets and knives, all while sucking off any who try to sneak up on her! Meanwhile her mystery friend, who likes to be called V, is using actual martial arts to throw slow-moving knives of his own! Together they decimate the guards, and move one step closer to their goal.
As they reach the final stage of this video game-esque adventure, Lori is confronted with a new challenge: female guards! She uses her kung fu, but one of the members of her wire-team faint, and she ends up swinging into V!!!
Now, with no kung fu team, and no V, she must pleasure her way past the guards! Her only issue is that her powers may not transfer to pleasing females! She attacks them, and begins trying to please them, only to find heself reachiong orgasm and passing out! She looks up to see V's smiling mask over top of her.
She awakens in the same chair from the beginning, and sees V standing there, holding five Goldfish bowls. The original fish, which had a V on it, and the other which carry the markings "I", "II", "III", and "IV". Apprently, these five fish were kidnapped while she and V were attacking V's own fortress! It was all a vendetta to get the fish, but who could do it?!
As V removes his mask, Lori sees a startling visage...that of Chrstopher Walken!!! He rants on for about five minutes how stupid women can be, and them has Dennis Leary come out and bust a cap in her ass.
"You see that?! DOn't you ever...touch my fish...."
The End.
Pitof Presents...V for Vendetta.
Lori Horiwitz (Halle Berry) is arrested for her involvement in a kidnapping of a small goldfish with a natural "V" on it's fin. The people give her the choice of fighting with them and learning how to do wire-style kung-fu, or she can be whacked on the face with a salmon one hundred times. She refuses and takes her fish-whacks like a champ. She goes back to her apartment only to find a large "V" in red ink on her door. She walks into her apartment to find a strange man in a mask of penus-nosed Owen Wilson!!
After having sex with him and his mask, they begin to talk about the future. He wants his goldfish back, and he's willing to do anything or anyone to get to it. He gives her a shot in the arm, and she is sudden;y bestoed with wire kung fu teams, all ready to make her do tons of stunts! On top of that, she can give super blow-jobs that will render her adversaries unconscious. After her mystery friend lets her try it out on him, they go to take back the Goldfish!!!
They storm the headquarters, and Lori's wire-team helps her manuever around slow-moving bullets and knives, all while sucking off any who try to sneak up on her! Meanwhile her mystery friend, who likes to be called V, is using actual martial arts to throw slow-moving knives of his own! Together they decimate the guards, and move one step closer to their goal.
As they reach the final stage of this video game-esque adventure, Lori is confronted with a new challenge: female guards! She uses her kung fu, but one of the members of her wire-team faint, and she ends up swinging into V!!!
Now, with no kung fu team, and no V, she must pleasure her way past the guards! Her only issue is that her powers may not transfer to pleasing females! She attacks them, and begins trying to please them, only to find heself reachiong orgasm and passing out! She looks up to see V's smiling mask over top of her.
She awakens in the same chair from the beginning, and sees V standing there, holding five Goldfish bowls. The original fish, which had a V on it, and the other which carry the markings "I", "II", "III", and "IV". Apprently, these five fish were kidnapped while she and V were attacking V's own fortress! It was all a vendetta to get the fish, but who could do it?!
As V removes his mask, Lori sees a startling visage...that of Chrstopher Walken!!! He rants on for about five minutes how stupid women can be, and them has Dennis Leary come out and bust a cap in her ass.
"You see that?! DOn't you ever...touch my fish...."
The End.
devilgirl
Sidekick
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Pitof presents Moulin Rouge
Halley berry Adam Sandler and the muppets
Halle Berry.... Satan
adam sandler .... Christian
beaker .... tooloose
thechef .... Hemroid Zitlar
kermit .... The Duke
miss piggy .... The Green Fairy
Welcome to a celebration of
Leather, boobs,whips
And above all things
Sex.
The greatest thing you'll ever learn
is to whip, and be whipped
in return
The Moulin rogue, a night club
run over by Hemroid (teh pimp) zitlar
Where the rich and famous came hump the young and beautiful
The most beautiful was the one I laid
Satan, the called her the horny cat
I first came to spain one year ago
It was 2056 the summer of the monkey
i had come to Write about many things and the one thing that I belive in most of all bdsm
But id never been dominated! (shook )
hoosei wasszzu huuda hurrr(adam improves)
then large chicken fell through my roof followed by a dwarf dressed as an egg.
They were in a play, chicken little.
Since the large chicken suddenly commited suicide through my window they talked me into taking his place.
They played a song that was rather dull the lyrics didnt fit at all. They grew in frustration when suddenly a large busty woman , the lard lords wife burst in the room and the lyrics just came to my lips
The hills are a live with the sound of plastic
With plastic thays been filled through tiny scabs
But theyre writer didnt like me so he left and I became the writer.
Because of that fuss they might lose the show.
They had a plan , satan. Once she had heard my poetry she would be thrilled and insist to zitlar that I write the play.
Then Justin timberlake burst in the room and started to make out with camron diaz as we sang the Hanukah song
Then we all drank a big bottle of vodka, played pin the tail on Cameron and
I was off to the Moulin rouge to perform my poety for satan.
(the camera pans up to the Moulin rouge a rotting filthy old discotech
the doors burst open and out comes the famous 2 carrot dogs flashing their crotch to the camera can you smell the money?
And they sing
Voule vous couch avec moi
Hey sister, mow sister, sewsister,yo mister
He met i cant believe its not butter down in old Moulin Rouge
Selling her stuff on the street
She said, hello, hey Joe shmo
You wanna give me a go?
Gitchi gucci ya ya dada hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey heeeeeey hey hey
Gitchi gucci ya ya teehee
Mocca chocolata ya ya
Crousant frenchfriesLady Marmalade ohhhhhhhhhh
(dance routine with pregnant britney)
Boy drank all that whiskey bottle
As she shaved her manly hair
On her stained cotton sheets
Is where they started freak, yeah
Gitchi gucci ya ya da da
tomaGatchi gitchi I ya ya heehaaw
I have noidea what im singing
I could be cursing in and alien language
(girls touch themselves for no reason, im seeing money roll in already)
Voulez-vous couch avec mooomoo
(be finally with fire works and lazer light show and streamers and elvis back from the dead, but you cant see that as the camera is just focused on the busty women)
(the girls swarm into the room with the men and Zitler announces the dance .the can can)
Mystical-shake that ass, operafied version
(Group sits down at a table viewing the dance floor. Chirstian makes origami doves with his napkins and baby talks the voice making the men all laugh)
(enter satan, drums beat a heavy song and a large pink gorilla is revealed. The music sways and the gorilla moves to the beat. A muffled voice sings)
the French fries are good at mcdonalds
they are delightly fatty
but I prefer a man who rather eat a cow
( the gorilla head comes off followed by a flood of blood like in kill bill and the head falls into the crowd. Satan peaks her head out and licks the blood off her lips. She wears a mask over her face with bat like ears . she drops a glove to the floor and then another
a deep fried yogurt maybe quite continental
but harveys is a fattys best friend
a ring maybe grand but it wont fix that great heart attack
(she slides her hands down and pulls open the great big pink zipper revealing a ripped up leatherette outfit)
(the camera pans over to Christian and Tooloose.
meep meep meep meep meep
ah youve arranged a private meeting tonight with myself and satan*
(*translated from baby talk)
meep!
(the camera pans over to zitler and satan making out on stage then they discuss the where abouts of the duke. A man they are hoping satan will sleep with and maybe get to invest in the Moulin rouge. Something goes wrong over in the dukes booth and satan accidently mistakes Christian for the duke but the camera is down satans shirt)
(so begins the ending show to satan;s song with fast food adds scrolling at the bottom of the screen. She then picks up a hose and is magically wearing a knock off paris Hilton bikini and washing a car. She picks up a burger thats 2x the size of her head and eats it sexy aww yah really sexy mm daddy like ahem then she chokes on a piece and passes out)
Momments later Christan awaits for satan in a giant mechanical monkey .Satan tries to hump his leg many times , christain panics
rob schneider yells out through the window"YOU CAN DO ET"
(crispian bursts out in song)
*translated from baby talk
My gift is my shlong... and this one's for you*SPRING*
And you can tell all yoru girlfriends that this is my shlong
(they have countless scenes)
It may be quite small
I hope you don't mind..i have crabs and
That I put down in your woods...
How fantabulos I feel now im in your woom.
(fancy clouds and trains moving into tunnels)
(satan rolls over)
oh I cant belive it im in love with a duck i mean duke
duke im not a duke, im a whitie...i mean writer"
DUN DUN DUN!
Halley berry Adam Sandler and the muppets
Halle Berry.... Satan
adam sandler .... Christian
beaker .... tooloose
thechef .... Hemroid Zitlar
kermit .... The Duke
miss piggy .... The Green Fairy
Welcome to a celebration of
Leather, boobs,whips
And above all things
Sex.
The greatest thing you'll ever learn
is to whip, and be whipped
in return
The Moulin rogue, a night club
run over by Hemroid (teh pimp) zitlar
Where the rich and famous came hump the young and beautiful
The most beautiful was the one I laid
Satan, the called her the horny cat
I first came to spain one year ago
It was 2056 the summer of the monkey
i had come to Write about many things and the one thing that I belive in most of all bdsm
But id never been dominated! (shook )
hoosei wasszzu huuda hurrr(adam improves)
then large chicken fell through my roof followed by a dwarf dressed as an egg.
They were in a play, chicken little.
Since the large chicken suddenly commited suicide through my window they talked me into taking his place.
They played a song that was rather dull the lyrics didnt fit at all. They grew in frustration when suddenly a large busty woman , the lard lords wife burst in the room and the lyrics just came to my lips
The hills are a live with the sound of plastic
With plastic thays been filled through tiny scabs
But theyre writer didnt like me so he left and I became the writer.
Because of that fuss they might lose the show.
They had a plan , satan. Once she had heard my poetry she would be thrilled and insist to zitlar that I write the play.
Then Justin timberlake burst in the room and started to make out with camron diaz as we sang the Hanukah song
Then we all drank a big bottle of vodka, played pin the tail on Cameron and
I was off to the Moulin rouge to perform my poety for satan.
(the camera pans up to the Moulin rouge a rotting filthy old discotech
the doors burst open and out comes the famous 2 carrot dogs flashing their crotch to the camera can you smell the money?
And they sing
Voule vous couch avec moi
Hey sister, mow sister, sewsister,yo mister
He met i cant believe its not butter down in old Moulin Rouge
Selling her stuff on the street
She said, hello, hey Joe shmo
You wanna give me a go?
Gitchi gucci ya ya dada hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey heeeeeey hey hey
Gitchi gucci ya ya teehee
Mocca chocolata ya ya
Crousant frenchfriesLady Marmalade ohhhhhhhhhh
(dance routine with pregnant britney)
Boy drank all that whiskey bottle
As she shaved her manly hair
On her stained cotton sheets
Is where they started freak, yeah
Gitchi gucci ya ya da da
tomaGatchi gitchi I ya ya heehaaw
I have noidea what im singing
I could be cursing in and alien language
(girls touch themselves for no reason, im seeing money roll in already)
Voulez-vous couch avec mooomoo
(be finally with fire works and lazer light show and streamers and elvis back from the dead, but you cant see that as the camera is just focused on the busty women)
(the girls swarm into the room with the men and Zitler announces the dance .the can can)
Mystical-shake that ass, operafied version
(Group sits down at a table viewing the dance floor. Chirstian makes origami doves with his napkins and baby talks the voice making the men all laugh)
(enter satan, drums beat a heavy song and a large pink gorilla is revealed. The music sways and the gorilla moves to the beat. A muffled voice sings)
the French fries are good at mcdonalds
they are delightly fatty
but I prefer a man who rather eat a cow
( the gorilla head comes off followed by a flood of blood like in kill bill and the head falls into the crowd. Satan peaks her head out and licks the blood off her lips. She wears a mask over her face with bat like ears . she drops a glove to the floor and then another
a deep fried yogurt maybe quite continental
but harveys is a fattys best friend
a ring maybe grand but it wont fix that great heart attack
(she slides her hands down and pulls open the great big pink zipper revealing a ripped up leatherette outfit)
(the camera pans over to Christian and Tooloose.
meep meep meep meep meep
ah youve arranged a private meeting tonight with myself and satan*
(*translated from baby talk)
meep!
(the camera pans over to zitler and satan making out on stage then they discuss the where abouts of the duke. A man they are hoping satan will sleep with and maybe get to invest in the Moulin rouge. Something goes wrong over in the dukes booth and satan accidently mistakes Christian for the duke but the camera is down satans shirt)
(so begins the ending show to satan;s song with fast food adds scrolling at the bottom of the screen. She then picks up a hose and is magically wearing a knock off paris Hilton bikini and washing a car. She picks up a burger thats 2x the size of her head and eats it sexy aww yah really sexy mm daddy like ahem then she chokes on a piece and passes out)
Momments later Christan awaits for satan in a giant mechanical monkey .Satan tries to hump his leg many times , christain panics
rob schneider yells out through the window"YOU CAN DO ET"
(crispian bursts out in song)
*translated from baby talk
My gift is my shlong... and this one's for you*SPRING*
And you can tell all yoru girlfriends that this is my shlong
(they have countless scenes)
It may be quite small
I hope you don't mind..i have crabs and
That I put down in your woods...
How fantabulos I feel now im in your woom.
(fancy clouds and trains moving into tunnels)
(satan rolls over)
oh I cant belive it im in love with a duck i mean duke
duke im not a duke, im a whitie...i mean writer"
DUN DUN DUN!
Devilgirl, that was BRILLIANT!!!!! 
But why so much hate for Phantom of the Opera? I liked it... though it doesn't really even compare to the live production. But then, it is a Joel Schumacher movie, so, hate all you want!
Also, Suicide Kings rocks, Shin! "The next time I see you out here on the street with a 'busket' I'm gonna f**kin' shoot you!" I love Denis Leary and Christopher Walken.
But why so much hate for Phantom of the Opera? I liked it... though it doesn't really even compare to the live production. But then, it is a Joel Schumacher movie, so, hate all you want! Also, Suicide Kings rocks, Shin! "The next time I see you out here on the street with a 'busket' I'm gonna f**kin' shoot you!"
I love Denis Leary and Christopher Walken.
devilgirl
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Im a long time Phantom fan i through it was done horribly.That-Guy said:Devilgirl, that was BRILLIANT!!!!!
1 the main actress had the same look through out the movie "moose in headlights"
2 the main character had boobs up to her eyeballs through out the movie.
3 ive seen the play and the made for tv movie it couldnt of been done sooo much better.
4 the phantom...*shakes head*
5 carlotta....why?
6 the introduction was horrible. its suddenly "oh hey thats christine and thats raoul whom she has known all her life and hey get this christine can sing because the phantom has been teaching her with out anyone knowing"
7 the thing at the begining...with ther older characters ,as soon as i saw them and their makeup it just ruined it for me.
8 they would sing about going to the store for some bread in high pitch if they could.
8 sword fight...sadly the only thing that didnt make me fall asleep .
10. christine sure had a nice dressing room for a stage girl
11. again...moose in headlights
12.for once i was actually hopeing angelina jolie would swing through the movie in tomb raider gear and shoot up the place wisking butler off (Tombraider movies were ruined to)
13.for a fathers ghost her sure did like gropeing christine a lot and she didnt find it odd.
14.MOOSE!
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