I'm asking out a girl tomorrow. Advice??

kainedamo

Superhero
Joined
Sep 11, 2001
Messages
9,713
Reaction score
0
Points
31
Let me explain the circumstances. I've known this girl for about a year. We're pretty close friends. The time I've known her, she's had two boyfriends. She broke up with her last one a week ago. Being her friend is great, but I have feelings for her I can't ignore, and I think it's worth taking the risk to see if we can have more. Thing is, she's already shown interest in another guy, so I want to get in there before he gets a chance. I'm not sure how I should ask her out. How's this sound to you??

Vicki, we're close friends. But I've had feelings for you for a long time I can't ignore anymore, and I want to know if you'd ever be interested. If not, that's ok, we can still be friends.

Or I could lay it all on her, let her know everything I feel.

Vicki, I care about you alot. I get very confused sometimes, and deny how I feel about you. But I like you as more than a friend, something that can grow into love. I want to have a chance to show you I can be the man you've wanted.

No, that sucks balls. That sucks big balls. But she wants a man that's confident and says how he feels, a man that's passionate. That's what she told me.
 
bit of advice.... ease into it... if you lay it all out it's gonna blindside her and she might get frightened...

just ask her out casually like you two are gonna hang out... and see how it goes... then after at the end of the night ask her if she'd then like to go out on an actual date.... and take it from there.

Important lesson.... never tell a girl all your feelings right up front... it's almost never a good idea.
 
^agreed... unless you have dropped some hints beforehand you really never drop a bombshell like that. you don't want to scare them off. especially in person... at least give them time to assemble a well thought out response. i dropped a bombshell on a guy in june by all out kissing him when he wasn't ready. turns out he really was into me and we've since expressed our true feelings for one another with a great deal of success :) we just took the tough route. be gentle. that's what i recommend.
 
Oftentimes the "friend" aspect will be in the way. I'd say go all out and lay it all on her. That sounds confident and passionate to me. Although with women, they usually want the opposite of what they SAY they want, so I don't know. My philosophy is you have to take risks to find reward sometimes. The situations in my life that have paralleled to your's now have gone both ways - if I eased into it, it failed, if I laid it all out there, it usually worked. The choice is your's...tough for any of us to say. Go with what feels right...your feelings will dictate the approach. Good luck.
 
TheAlmightyFuzz said:
what am I here for then? :(

to watch the inexperience search for advice from people who possibly have less experience...

part of the fun is watching the train wreck.
 
Equint77 said:
Important lesson.... never tell a girl all your feelings right up front... it's almost never a good idea.

That is extreamly important. Trust me on that. Just kind of ease in to it and tell her. If your good friends she should understand.

Than again I'm not really experienced on the whole love thing so take my advice lightly.
 
I can't wait. I'm not letting the chance slip away. I can't worry about rebound stuff, and she's too sensible for that anyway.

I'm practically in love with her!
 
Babs Gordon said:
^agreed... unless you have dropped some hints beforehand you really never drop a bombshell like that. you don't want to scare them off. especially in person... at least give them time to assemble a well thought out response. i dropped a bombshell on a guy in june by all out kissing him when he wasn't ready. turns out he really was into me and we've since expressed our true feelings for one another with a great deal of success :) we just took the tough route. be gentle. that's what i recommend.

I should write for cosmo... :o
 
keep it simple... tell her you like her as more than just a friend and that you'd like to take her out on a date sometime.


I gotta warn you, though... if you have no clue that she feels the same way, then chances are you're going to be shot down and the friendship will die.

Making a move out of the friend zone is tough...but when it works, it's well worth it. good luck!
 
Equint77 said:
to watch the inexperience search for advice from people who possibly have less experience...

part of the fun is watching the train wreck.
oh...please forgive me :(
 
Do it while you're both drinking, if it goes wrong, you can blame the booze.
 
Calvin said:
Do it while you're both drinking, if it goes wrong, you can blame the booze.


another excellent bit of advice.... seriously :up:
 
Calvin said:
Do it while you're both drinking, if it goes wrong, you can blame the booze.

yeah... I've been there... unfortunately she didn't believe it. :( :down :down
 
Equint77 said:
yeah... I've been there... unfortunately she didn't believe it. :( :down :down


moms always know when you're lying :(
 
Equint77 said:
yeah... I've been there... unfortunately she didn't believe it. :( :down :down
Hmm, try E then. Nothing messes up emotions more than that. You'd tell your worst enemy that you love him on that stuff.
 
I am completely serious when I say DO NOT GET INTO IT. I literally made the mistake you are thinking about in early December. We went out for a month and a half before she said she didn't want a relationship. If anything, just keep it a fun, casual relationship and nothing serious.
 
Lackey said:
keep it simple... tell her you like her as more than just a friend and that you'd like to take her out on a date sometime.


I gotta warn you, though... if you have no clue that she feels the same way, then chances are you're going to be shot down and the friendship will die.

Making a move out of the friend zone is tough...but when it works, it's well worth it. good luck!

Agreed. However, you have to think of it as: Are you willing to sacrifice your friendship?? If you don't ask her out now, you may end up regretting it for the rest of your life, because you'd always have that "what if". Unfortunately, if she turns you down, things could get really weird between you two. I also agree with Equint in that you should hang out with her and then ease into the "would you like to go out on a date with me".

Normally I'd say don't ask her out so soon after she broke up with her boyfriend, but it sounds like she's getting over him quickly if she's already expressing interest in another boy :confused: So I guess in this circumstance you'd better take your chance while you have it.
 
Its really iffy when you ask a good friend out. I made the mistake of getting really close to a girl, and when she broke up with her boyfriend I told her how I felt about her and blah blah blah. It back fired big time, and now she pretty much blames me for making her relationship with her ex go sour. Anywho, it sucks big time when someone you care about does something like that.
 
kainedamo said:
I can't wait. I'm not letting the chance slip away. I can't worry about rebound stuff, and she's too sensible for that anyway.

I'm practically in love with her!
your likely not, you just like the idea of being with her. knowing your age would be great though. would tell me how much experience you have in 'life'. she might just want to touch your penis which isnt a terribly bad thing :up:
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Staff online

Latest posts

Forum statistics

Threads
200,443
Messages
21,728,205
Members
45,556
Latest member
ProfessorP1999
Back
Top
monitoring_string = "afb8e5d7348ab9e99f73cba908f10802"