Superhobo
Superhero
- Joined
- Jun 29, 2004
- Messages
- 6,254
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 31
Okay, so. I walk to the apartment complex across the street. This is just about maybe ten-fifteen minutes ago. They have a fence that encloses three of the four sides, a big red wooden one. On the fourth side, it's open space. You're allowed to walk in and go as you please, which kind of negates the purpose for a fence, but I digress.
As you enter the open space, which is a parking lot, there's one of those dingy little apartment laundry-mats, and on the side is a coke machine, where I frequently get cokes. So, tonight, there's this big gathering of old shabbymen, sitting in lawn chairs and on the cement wall by the laundry-mat. You know, fat, bald, they taulk lak the-is, and they love the NASCAR.
There's this one ******* who I've had problems with two times prior, and as soon as I walk past, I don't even give them a glance, he just starts talking just **** about the two prior incidents. "That one little mothu-****er, I told his ass I said, "You wanna be sittin' your ass up in jail," and stuff like that. I don't pay any attention, but I keep going, and I get two cokes for my brother and I.
And, as I walk past again, I hear him say something to the effect of, "as a matter 'a fact, he's gon' hafta start walkin' down t' the goddamn store to get his ****-in' cokes. HEY, **** HEAD!"
I ignore him, and keep walking. "HEY!" I put my hand up in a little wave, and soon I'm back on the way to the house. Then I hear him again, "HEY, MOTHER-****ER!" He's following me, this 200 lb hick, and yelling, "HEY!"
I know that if I ignore him, he'll keep bothering me, so I turn around, and keep in mind on both prior occasions I've been nothing but polite to this guy, and go, "Yes?"
So, he gets up in my face and just starts talking about my attitude, and can I read the 'no trespassing' signs on the fence (keep in mind, I came in the correct way. I've checked with the apartment managers about this before), and do I want to sit my ass in jail.
I tell him I haven't done anything illegal. I came in the correct way, I bought my cokes, and I left. This pisses him off something fierce. He yells "DO YOU KNOW WHO THOSE ****-IN' COKES ARE FOR, BOY?"
I say, "no, who?" I've checked, and non-residents can, in fact, buy cokes from said coke machine, but anyhow.
"THOSE COKES ARE FOR RESEE-DENTS ONLY! HOW OLD ARE YOU?"
I tell him.
"DO YOU WANT ME TO KICK YOUR ASS, BOY?"
I tell him I'd rather avoid a violent confrontation, if that's possible. I have no reason to fight him, plus he has at least sixty pounds on me. He could eat me. He just looks at me for a second, then he goes, "Alright. Alright. THEM's ****-IN' COKES -" YOINK go the cokes - "ARE FOR RESEE-DENTS ONLY."
And then he waddle runs back the way he came. I just sort of stand there for a second, flabber-gasted. Did I just get coke-robbed?
Then I turn and walk away, and as I do, I can hear one of his buddies go, "Hey, what happened? What'd you do?"
"Kid said he was gonna whoop my ass, so I took his cokes."
I Kid You Not. What the hell, man? First thing in the morning I'm going to the apartment manager about that guy. I've got witnesses to the other two times.
As you enter the open space, which is a parking lot, there's one of those dingy little apartment laundry-mats, and on the side is a coke machine, where I frequently get cokes. So, tonight, there's this big gathering of old shabbymen, sitting in lawn chairs and on the cement wall by the laundry-mat. You know, fat, bald, they taulk lak the-is, and they love the NASCAR.
There's this one ******* who I've had problems with two times prior, and as soon as I walk past, I don't even give them a glance, he just starts talking just **** about the two prior incidents. "That one little mothu-****er, I told his ass I said, "You wanna be sittin' your ass up in jail," and stuff like that. I don't pay any attention, but I keep going, and I get two cokes for my brother and I.
And, as I walk past again, I hear him say something to the effect of, "as a matter 'a fact, he's gon' hafta start walkin' down t' the goddamn store to get his ****-in' cokes. HEY, **** HEAD!"
I ignore him, and keep walking. "HEY!" I put my hand up in a little wave, and soon I'm back on the way to the house. Then I hear him again, "HEY, MOTHER-****ER!" He's following me, this 200 lb hick, and yelling, "HEY!"
I know that if I ignore him, he'll keep bothering me, so I turn around, and keep in mind on both prior occasions I've been nothing but polite to this guy, and go, "Yes?"
So, he gets up in my face and just starts talking about my attitude, and can I read the 'no trespassing' signs on the fence (keep in mind, I came in the correct way. I've checked with the apartment managers about this before), and do I want to sit my ass in jail.
I tell him I haven't done anything illegal. I came in the correct way, I bought my cokes, and I left. This pisses him off something fierce. He yells "DO YOU KNOW WHO THOSE ****-IN' COKES ARE FOR, BOY?"
I say, "no, who?" I've checked, and non-residents can, in fact, buy cokes from said coke machine, but anyhow.
"THOSE COKES ARE FOR RESEE-DENTS ONLY! HOW OLD ARE YOU?"
I tell him.
"DO YOU WANT ME TO KICK YOUR ASS, BOY?"
I tell him I'd rather avoid a violent confrontation, if that's possible. I have no reason to fight him, plus he has at least sixty pounds on me. He could eat me. He just looks at me for a second, then he goes, "Alright. Alright. THEM's ****-IN' COKES -" YOINK go the cokes - "ARE FOR RESEE-DENTS ONLY."
And then he waddle runs back the way he came. I just sort of stand there for a second, flabber-gasted. Did I just get coke-robbed?
Then I turn and walk away, and as I do, I can hear one of his buddies go, "Hey, what happened? What'd you do?"
"Kid said he was gonna whoop my ass, so I took his cokes."
I Kid You Not. What the hell, man? First thing in the morning I'm going to the apartment manager about that guy. I've got witnesses to the other two times.
You shouldn't have stopped walking in the first place anyways. What you need to do is call the cops...
