Is It Ever Acceptable for a Man to Hit a Woman?

[MessiahDecoy123]

Like I said it's based on the context of the situation. If it's some guy against a woman who has been trained in martial arts all her life then he can use appropriate force to try to defend himself from her. If he attacks her then she can do the same.

My best friend has been in some terribly abusive relationships with women. When he had his first kid with one she attacked him physically and threw bottles, glasses and other heavy things at her. He barely defended himself as he felt it wasn't right. His NEXT relationship was more emotionally abusive than physical. She would lose her mind and start an hour screaming at him because he forgot to do the dishes last night or make the bed in the morning. This is after a 12-14 hour shift on his feet. He never laid a hand on her although he told me many times that he felt he was going to. She did hit him several times and he never did the same. She was a very large woman, mostly fat. She outweighed him and he's around 5'10 and 250 lbs. He refused to defend himself physically from those women because he felt it wasn't right.

Do you think him being violent with those women would've been the best solution?

 

[KevanG]

Nope. I'm giving an example of woman on man abuse that went on for years and the man never hit back.

 

[MessiahDecoy123]

Nope. I'm giving an example of woman on man abuse that went on for years and the man never hit back.

I have an older relative, a male, who endured physical abuse from a woman.

He also, never hit her back and I respect him more as a human being for making that decision.

 

[Hal_Jordan]

Is this seriously a question? There is absolutely no situation or context where hitting a woman might be appropriate?

Is this really a serious question because some people can't understand reality and context?

 

[Teelie]

It also goes right along with how female teachers are given much lighter sentences when they have sex with students, than male teachers. This is slowly changing, but the sentences are still far less... there are several areas where there are double standards.

The most outrageous part about this is where if a female teacher has sex with a male student (especially if she is remotely attractive), the typical response is "why weren't teachers like that when I was growing up?" As you say, a male teacher having sex with a female student will not only get a harsher punishment but will be justifiably called a sex offender.

 

[MessiahDecoy123]

Is this seriously a question? There is absolutely no situation or context where hitting a woman might be appropriate?

Is this really a serious question because some people can't understand reality and context?

Multiple women or an armed woman are reason to punch, kick, slam a female attacker.

 

[Teelie]

I've known a few women who don't need a weapon to do some serious harm.

 

[Hal_Jordan]

Multiple women or an armed woman are reason to punch, kick, slam a female attacker.

I'm blown away that anyone has a problem with this concept.

 

[Hal_Jordan]

I've known a few women who don't need a weapon to do some serious harm.

I've read stories of guys assaulted by high heeled shoes. Granted, they deserved the attack in the stories I've read, but hell...women are far from helpless butterflies.

 

[Kelly]

The most outrageous part about this is where if a female teacher has sex with a male student (especially if she is remotely attractive), the typical response is "why weren't teachers like that when I was growing up?" As you say, a male teacher having sex with a female student will not only get a harsher punishment but will be justifiably called a sex offender.

Very true....

 

[BestGirl]

If it's self-defense it's acceptable no matter what the gender.

This shouldn't have to be rocket science, people.

But we live in a society that still teaches some wonky gender-centric things when it comes to violence, and about acceptable uses of violence in general. And those, I think, are the real center of the problem. We teach boys that violence from another man MUST be met with violence, while teaching them that they should NEVER hit a woman (BOTH of which I have problems with). And we teach girls (largely through media) that it's okay to hit men. Which is why you've got Warhammer's dad's female friend making this sort of statement: This just feeds into the above problematic thinking: that men are supposed to treat each other this way, and that it somehow makes violence more acceptable. NOBODY should be treating each other that way. Nor should ANYONE be quick to look for excuses to use violence, because someone hitting first doesn't automatically equate to self-defense. Don't escalate a situation with further violence if you don't have to. This goes for all genders.

This is the best post in the entire thread.

My own feelings are that no person, regardless of gender, should ever hit another person. Striking someone is to be reserved only for protecting your own health or safety or those of others. If a fight occurs, and you're the bigger, stronger, or more skilled participant in the confrontation, you have to be especially careful not to overreact, even if you didn't start the fight. For example, if a small woman attacks a large man by punching him in the chest, he shouldn't break her jaw.

 

[BLACKVULCAN]

i usually try to say out of threads like this, but this one intrigued me! i just come here to talk Superman's underwear but ...what the heck!

when i was 19 and your archetype comic guy!.. skinny, socially inept never meaning no harm wearing Xmen shirts. i was in the military stationed overseas! one day while we were waiting to march i was talking to a group of friends.Someone behind me called my name and as i turned catching me totally unaware punched me full force in my stomach! It FREAKING HURT!!
This girl ( who i later came to find out really didnt like me associating with local females and thought i should stick to my own kind like her!) did it!
Man!I freaking snapped and went all "A Christmas story"..Ralphie gets hit in the eye by a snowball against Scott Farkus on her! Punching her once in her stomach! I dropped that girl like a bad habit! to which she exclaimed holding her stomach "( my name).. damn! i didnt punch you that hard! with which i replied" your 1st mistake was punching me at all!"

I cant speak for all ,but i dont care if you call my mom, my dog( i love both of them!)something.Those are just words and i will turn around and walk away! if you come at me with a claw hammer!.. well then see above!
it's one thing to go " Ike and tina turner" on someone just cause you can ,but its another to let someone whoop your ass no matter who they are!

just my 2 cents cause i didn't have change!

 

[Warhammer]

which is a shame.

i believe it was you who mentioned earlier that many men do not report their abuse because of the stigma attached and how emasculating it is for the victim.

to me personally, i think it takes a strong man to come forward about his abuse and i wish more would do so.

A few years ago, my friend, who was an ex-cop, told me that if my girlfriend/wife ever hits me, I should call the police immediately. He said to go ahead and press charges if necessary. Damn what society says. A visit from the cops will put her ass in check.

I would normally, but I'd hit a woman if she was coming at me with a bottle.

I think the thread should be closed, on account of the question probably not being phrased as intended.

There are very few things that could be ruled out under any circumstances, because the applicable hypothetical will always be the prevention of the greater evil.

For example- is it always unacceptable to kill children?

Hypothetical: child suicide bomber is about to murder a bus full of other children.

Etc.

The question was phrased exactly how it should have. This is a hot topic that is relevant in the norms of the society we live in. If I started a thread stating "Is it always unacceptable to kill children?", it would probably make three posts before I got mocked and/or a mod would close it.

 

[Warhammer]

Like I said it's based on the context of the situation. If it's some guy against a woman who has been trained in martial arts all her life then he can use appropriate force to try to defend himself from her. If he attacks her then she can do the same.

My best friend has been in some terribly abusive relationships with women. When he had his first kid with one she attacked him physically and threw bottles, glasses and other heavy things at her. He barely defended himself as he felt it wasn't right. His NEXT relationship was more emotionally abusive than physical. She would lose her mind and start an hour screaming at him because he forgot to do the dishes last night or make the bed in the morning. This is after a 12-14 hour shift on his feet. He never laid a hand on her although he told me many times that he felt he was going to. She did hit him several times and he never did the same. She was a very large woman, mostly fat. She outweighed him and he's around 5'10 and 250 lbs. He refused to defend himself physically from those women because he felt it wasn't right.

I have an older relative, a male, who endured physical abuse from a woman.

He also, never hit her back and I respect him more as a human being for making that decision.

I'm not going to lie to you. These two men you both describe are punks. How can a grown man let anyone beat up on them without putting a stop to it? Call the police. Get a restraining order, protective custody, etc. Women aren't the only ones who can do this. A real man never settles for less in this situation.

It also goes right along with how female teachers are given much lighter sentences when they have sex with students, than male teachers. This is slowly changing, but the sentences are still far less... there are several areas where there are double standards.

This reminds me of something my buddy told me three years ago. One day, I was b****ing about double standards and he said something along the lines of "Yeah, there are double standards in this world. But there are a whole bunch of positive and negative ones for both genders. It all balances out." It blew my mind because I never thought of it that way.

 

[MessiahDecoy123]

I'm not going to lie to you. These two men you both describe are punks. How can a grown man let anyone beat up on them without putting a stop to it? Call the police. Get a restraining order, protective custody, etc. Women aren't the only ones who can do this. A real man never settles for less in this situation.
.

I agree it's sad when anyone endures abuse for an extended time but the real punks are men who hit women knowing the woman can't possibly win the fight.

Woman who abuse men knowing it's against their code to hit a woman are punks too.

 

[Warhammer]

I agree it's sad when anyone endures abuse for an extended time but the real punks are men who hit women knowing the woman can't possibly win the fight.

Woman who abuse men knowing it's against their code to hit a woman are punks too.

You'll get nothing but agreement from me on those points.

 

[charl_huntress]

i usually try to say out of threads like this, but this one intrigued me! i just come here to talk Superman's underwear but ...what the heck!

when i was 19 and your archetype comic guy!.. skinny, socially inept never meaning no harm wearing Xmen shirts. i was in the military stationed overseas! one day while we were waiting to march i was talking to a group of friends.Someone behind me called my name and as i turned catching me totally unaware punched me full force in my stomach! It FREAKING HURT!!
This girl ( who i later came to find out really didnt like me associating with local females and thought i should stick to my own kind like her!) did it!
Man!I freaking snapped and went all "A Christmas story"..Ralphie gets hit in the eye by a snowball against Scott Farkus on her! Punching her once in her stomach! I dropped that girl like a bad habit! to which she exclaimed holding her stomach "( my name).. damn! i didnt punch you that hard! with which i replied" your 1st mistake was punching me at all!"

I cant speak for all ,but i dont care if you call my mom, my dog( i love both of them!)something.Those are just words and i will turn around and walk away! if you come at me with a claw hammer!.. well then see above!
it's one thing to go " Ike and tina turner" on someone just cause you can ,but its another to let someone whoop your ass no matter who they are!

just my 2 cents cause i didn't have change!

Hahaahahaha...lolololol

My question is what did your command do? Who actually got in trouble for that because I would imagine if you were ready to assume some kind of formation someone had to get in trouble for that....lol

 

[BLACKVULCAN]

heh.. nobody of rank saw me.the ones who did were kinda like Wow! Nerdy dude stood up for himself and that she totally sucker punched your ass, she got what she deserved! even some pf the other girls thought so.
i tell you after that i never ever had another problem with that chick ever! she then made it a point to stay very far from me.

 

[charl_huntress]

heh.. nobody of rank saw me.the ones who did were kinda like Wow! Nerdy dude stood up for himself and that she totally sucker punched your ass, she got what she deserved! even some pf the other girls thought so.
i tell you after that i never ever had another problem with that chick ever! she then made it a point to stay very far from me.

I'm trying to imagine watching something like that...and I wouldn't even know what to say. t: If no one said anything or reported it... I would guess it was okay, but that's frigging HILARIOUS! It sounds like something from a movie.

 

[KevanG]

I'm not going to lie to you. These two men you both describe are punks. How can a grown man let anyone beat up on them without putting a stop to it? Call the police. Get a restraining order, protective custody, etc. Women aren't the only ones who can do this. A real man never settles for less in this situation.

The issue there was that he was doing it for his kid. The first time was because she had been diagnosed with postpartum depression and he thought it would pass. It didn't and she left him with his newborn son a few weeks later. The second time it didn't start until a few years into the marriage and by then his kid was already calling her mom. He grew up in a family where family ties meant everything.

 

[Boy Scout]

Your gender shouldn't give you the right to just slap someone with impunity. That's just as sexist as a man thinking he has the right to smack women around just because he's a man.

...My own feelings are that no person, regardless of gender, should ever hit another person. Striking someone is to be reserved only for protecting your own health or safety or those of others. If a fight occurs, and you're the bigger, stronger, or more skilled participant in the confrontation, you have to be especially careful not to overreact, even if you didn't start the fight. For example, if a small woman attacks a large man by punching him in the chest, he shouldn't break her jaw.

 

[MessiahDecoy123]

The issue there was that he was doing it for his kid. The first time was because she had been diagnosed with postpartum depression and he thought it would pass. It didn't and she left him with his newborn son a few weeks later. The second time it didn't start until a few years into the marriage and by then his kid was already calling her mom. He grew up in a family where family ties meant everything.

It's crazy how some people will swtch it on you once there's a kid or a marraige. They wait until they know you won't go anywhere to become abusive.

Kind of predatory when you think about it.

 

[KevanG]

Her entire family is like that. Her mother is a fat lazy sack of **** who refuses to do anything but the least amount of work possible. She got a job mowing lawns at a graveyard and she forced her husband to do it even though he was already working two jobs. I had to work with her for a year at a bakery and all she did was whine, complain and beg off because she was tired. She sat around all day doing very little compared to the rest of us and she wouldn't stop whining unless she had a chair. If we could only find one for the two positions where you could use one she'd take it and refuse to share it with the older (late 60's to her mid 40's) woman who was there.

I hated her so much.

 

[InJustice]

I had a discussion about this at work today. It was a very interesting conversation to say the least. I'd like to know the opinions of you all. There is no neutral response to this question. There is no "a human being should never hit another human being." That's a cop out. It's either a "yes" or a "no." Insert any hypothetical scenario. Use your imagination.

Is it ever acceptable for a man to hit a woman?

Disclaimer: I am not an advocate for domestic abuse.

I think under certain circumstances, a man should be allowed to hit a woman. Obviously, not to simply abuse women, but in order to fight back and defend himself if he feels the need to (that can cause problems if a case where a man is defending against a woman is explored from a legal perspective).

What's baffling to me is that I just never understood why women think they have the right to smack a man because it's somehow their birthright to use violence as a means to "teach (men) a lesson." Ideally, no one would use violence, but we don't live in a perfect world. However, when men try to defend themselves, you see a lot of societal backlash ranging from him being emasculated for hitting a girl, to being viewed as someone who transgressed norms.

 

[Boy Scout]

I think the reason no one ever questions it is because they grew up seeing it and assumed it was an appropriate and acceptable response. Men get slapped in the face by women all the time on television and nobody bats an eye. I never thought much of it myself until someone brought it to my attention a few years ago.