Is it rude to point?

[Immortalfire]

My late great-grandmother was a staunch believer that it was. "Don't point Immortalfire, it is rude!" was her mantra.

But even as a kid, I never could understand why it was supposedly rude.

Said great grandma came up in conversation recently, and I asked my dad "She was always like it was rude to point, but why exactly?"....he had no answer.

Some reading suggests that it goes back to olden times when pointing was a sign that you were placing a hex on someone. Weird.

What y'all think?

 

[KRYPTON INC.]

 

[KRYPTON INC.]

I never got this as a general rule. I get it as a thing in a situation's context. A young child sees a double amputee at the airport? Yeah, you tell them not to point. But as some faux pas in general, I never got it.

 

[Mandon Knight]

Finger jabbing / pointing to make a point - Yes, it's rude.

 

[KRYPTON INC.]

Finger jabbing / pointing to make a point - Yes, it's rude.

Other than being told so... What makes it inherently "rude"? Like, doesn't intention matter? I think it's a different matter when say, someone is gesturing in a matter meant to threaten and belittle as opposed to say, using a visual flourish or point for some reason that's not aggressive. Like I stated before, I get why it's rude to have a child point at someone because in that's child's limited experience he is drawn to a person that to them is "not normal". I get seeing that as impolite. But under other circumstances why is it considered a breach of etiquette?

 

[Mandon Knight]

Its a 'power' thing, a 'You are going to listen to me, my point is superior to yours and you will stay there and listen to me regardless of what you have to say or contribute to the conversation we are sharing, what I am saying is more important than what you have to say'. That's what I get from it, from an adult doing it, agree with you on the child's perspective.

 

[Hotwire]

How else am I supposed to give directions?

 

[Schlosser85]

Pointing in what context?

 

[Lilbaz]

My late great-grandmother was a staunch believer that it was. "Don't point Immortalfire, it is rude!" was her mantra.

But even as a kid, I never could understand why it was supposedly rude.

Said great grandma came up in conversation recently, and I asked my dad "She was always like it was rude to point, but why exactly?"....he had no answer.

Some reading suggests that it goes back to olden times when pointing was a sign that you were placing a hex on someone. Weird.

What y'all think?

Pointing at something no. If you are pointing at the person you are talking to it's aggressive.

I really wouldn't like it if someone was jabbing their finger at me while talking to me.

 

[terry78]

if you've ever had it done to you, it's kinda condescending. That's where it lies I think.

 

[Dark Raven]

Depends on the context.

"You've got something on your face"
"Where?"
"There above your mouth."

= Pointing to indicate where something is.


"Your country needs you!"

= Pointing for inspiration and a call to action


"I know you. You're that famous actor!"

= Pointing out of recognition.


None of these are aggressive. I wouldn't really call them rude either.

 

[Iceman]

Is it rude to point when asked "who farted?"?

 

[Spider-Aziz]

I guess it's disrespectful when pointing might potentially hit an eye.

 

[Breogan]

it goes back to olden times when pointing was a sign that you were placing a hex on someone. Weird.

What y'all think?

"Olden-times"
\

Yes it's rude, when used liker that^!

 

[Lantern Venom]

Pointing at something no. If you are pointing at the person you are talking to it's aggressive.

I really wouldn't like it if someone was jabbing their finger at me while talking to me.

It really depends on the context of the conversation. The gesture is often done for emphasis, especially by people who are prone to talking with their hands. If the accompanying words are derogatory or accusatory, the gesture takes on the negative emotions of that kind of interaction. If the subject matter is positive, pointing can be a way to further reinforce recognition and/or appreciation.

 

[Dark Raven]

It's like anything really. Words especially. In certain contexts, neutral words will be perceived as aggressive. Eg: when sarcasm is used, or when a neutral word becomes associated with a negative event.

In other contexts, normally aggressive words can be seen as neutral or playful.

Eg: "Shut up"

Said in a heated argument or by a parent or teacher to a child, it is clearly aggressive.

Said in amazement to something almost unbelievable, it means "no way!"

Even neutral words though can become loaded. If they've always been used in an aggressive context, then even when someone different says it in a completely neutral or positive context, the person hearing it will have come to associate those words with something negative and may react accordingly. That's how many arguments and misunderstandings start, because we're used to hearing and interpreting things in a particular way. Sometimes the other person didn't mean that at all, but we're influenced by our experiences.

With pointing, if you're used to experiencing it in a negative context all the time, you'll interpret any form of pointing as rude or aggressive, even when it's not done in that way or with that intention.

 

[tzarinna]

How else am I supposed to give directions?

You're suppose to use four fingers with your thumb tucked in. That's how I've been taught in the theater world.

 

[2kt09]

 

[DarthSkywalker]

In the vast majority of situations, pointing at someone is rude. You are singling them out for some reason, and that is rarely for a good reason.

 

[Breogan]

So the 1967 (+2099) pointing meme won an oscar.



And starred Óscar.

 

[MissMarvelous]

I use the stewardess-type sign hahaha with my middle and index fingers pressed together.