Is It Time For High School Football Coaches To Relax Their Stance On Lollygagging?

[Aesop Rocks]

For as long as football has been an American tradition, high school coaches have taken a hard-line, zero-tolerance stance on lollygagging of all kinds. You can be big or small, outspoken or quiet, but if you’re an athlete standing on that football field, you had better not be lollygagging.

That’s just the way things are—but is it how they must always be?

We take it for granted that football coaches ought to criticize the dilly-dallying marshmallows on their team, and our acceptance of it just reveals how entrenched the no-lollygagging mentality is. It’s a sign of the stigma’s pervasiveness that the mere mention of a slack-jawed lollygagger is enough to send most coaches flying off the handle. Is the cultural moment finally right for coaches to seriously reevaluate lollygagging’s place in our high school athletic departments?

“Every day, do-nothing lollygaggers face persecution, verbal abuse, and public humiliation from coaches, simply because they’re standing around gawking at the football with their thumbs up their asses,” said Rémy Shapiro, the head of a private foundation that advocates on behalf of sissy drag-asses with their heads in the clouds. “These coaches live in a backwards, outdated world where they can just tell all the wiffle-ball dipsticks on their team to hustle, but that’s not our world.”

“It’s 2014,” he added.

How about you? Do you or your friends lollygag now, or have you in the past? If your son was on the football team and his coach called to say he’d been lollygagging at practice, would you fly into a rage or consider a more measured response? Let us know in the comments where you stand on the issue.

SOURCE

Well, what do you guys think? Personally, I don't mind it. I understand where the coaches come from, because a lollygagger is never good for anything, especially team-building and practicing for upcoming games and the such.

Thoughts? Feelings?

 

[Morg]

? oh....

you know that a Onion article?

 

[SuperFerret]

I once was a lollygagger, but my high school's football coach barked terrible, likely homophobic, and mildly spicy insults at me for doing it one day and it changed my life. I wasn't even on the football team. It's a part of growing up, and it makes you stronger as a person for it.

 

[Aesop Rocks]

? oh....

you know that a Onion article?

Morg, please. Lollygagging is a very serious issue and should be treated as such.

 

[Erzengel]

I always thought lollygagging was when you pushed the lollypop too far down the throat.

 

[Tempest]

Lollygagging is bad, but I see no one has taken time to address shilly-shallying. That, my friends, is the problem.

 

[DarkSentinel]

Those damn kids don't know nothin'!!!

 

[Flint Marko]

Oh pish posh. Lollygagging, horseplay, even shenanigans are fine as a child but once you hit high school that buffoonery needs to stop.

 

[Godzilla2000]

 

[DarkSentinel]

Darn tootin'!

 

[Superwoman Prime]

My gym teacher was fired for being a crack head.

 

[Aesop Rocks]

Looks like he lolly-gagged a little too much.

 

[Mee]

I always thought lollygagging was when you pushed the lollypop too far down the throat.

Some people are into that.

 

[DarkSovereignty]

I think we should abolish hand egg in high schools. Problem solved.

 

[DarkSentinel]

Lollygagging and tomfoolery lead to moral decay.

 

[Superwoman Prime]

Looks like he lolly-gagged a little too much.

Yeah. I wouldn't be surprised if he was also getting 'water logged', as in hitting the bottle in the parking lot.

 

[SuperFerret]

What about stevefoolery and jimfoolery? Why must we single out the Tom's of the world?

 

[DarkSentinel]

Danfoolery is the worst. As are shedanigans.

 

[Superwoman Prime]

The last one is rated R. And starts Friday in theaters everywhere.

 

[Tempest]

Oh pish posh. Lollygagging, horseplay, even shenanigans are fine as a child but once you hit high school that buffoonery needs to stop.

Hey now, shenanigans are for every age group. We don't want to ruin ALL the fun.

 

[DarkSentinel]

Shenanigans are fine in small doses.

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

One of my fave celebs, Bruce Cambell, is all about lollygagging. Therefore I stand with ash in defense of lollygagging and the coaches need to chill out

 

[Erzengel]

Lollygagging can lead to a hootenanny.

 

[KRYPTON INC.]

Lollygagging can lead to a hootenanny.

It's all because there's no Anti-Slacking movement in this country to take on Big Slack and all their lobbyists down in D.C.!

 

[Pink Ranger]

Lollygagging is one thing, but what about lollyswallowing?