Just won the lottery!!!

[chaseter]

See, now I have to hire someone else at 40k to stand ready with a cattle prod and a tranq gun.

Also, monkeys can't talk.

I have evolved to talk, play Xbox, drink, and *********e furiously.

 

[knowsbleed]

If we're talking about millions of dollars, I would...

-Pay off my student loans and all my other debts.
-Pay off my parents' current debts (good luck on their future debts, though)
-Buy a new car. Nothing crazy expensive; probably just a Toyota or something.
-Buy a house and furnish it.
-Vacation in at least 3 other countries.
-Not quit my job, just in case.

I didn't picture you as a Toyota person. Are talking Prius or Tundra?

Since you're a monkey, you obviously can't use bathrooms. So you'd have to use diapers. So I'd have to pay someone to change your diapers, because I'm rich I wouldn't do that.

Plus someone's got to feed you, as you only have a diaper, yet no pockets to carry money. So I'd have to pay someone to do that as well.

I think I can hire someone at 50k to feed you and change your diapers.

Isn't there a New Jersey law against monkeys and diapers? I'm pretty sure I saw it in a post by Terry.

I always wanted a pet chimpanzee but after that one chimp ripped off a womans face now not so much.

I would rip off Erz's face.

Thinking of anything ripping anybody's face off is disturbing enough for me to avoid all animals at all costs... consumption aside.

See, now I have to hire someone else at 40k to stand ready with a cattle prod and a tranq gun.

Also, monkeys can't talk.

Don't worry, chaseter is CGI monkey material at best... motion capture is definitely his forte.

You're talking about work-money, this is lottery-money, way different

Way different in the way it's attained. Now maintaining it... still gotta do work. It's like muscle, Arnold definitely focuses more on the maintaining his wealth.

 

[Pink Ranger]

Depending on how much money is involved, in order of importance and feasability:

1. Pay off all debt
2. Put at least $4 million in an income-generating account with a 4% yield
3. Give $$ to two family members
4. Buy a Toyota Prius
6. Put $500,000 to $1 million in secure, recession-proof and divorce-proof account just in case
7. Invest $2-3 million into a scholarship trust for LGBT students and supporters to go to business school
8. Move into a bigger house
9. Buy a modest franchise location of a coffee or fast-casual chain, to test my acumen to run a business like that before I even think about trying to run a full-service restaurant or bar
10. Help fund a group home project for LGBT youth in Vancouver

 

[knowsbleed]

Depending on how much money is involved, in order of importance and feasability:

1. Pay off all debt
2. Put at least $4 million in an income-generating account with a 4% yield
3. Give $$ to two family members
4. Buy a Toyota Prius
6. Put $500,000 to $1 million in secure, recession-proof and divorce-proof account just in case
7. Invest $2-3 million into a scholarship trust for LGBT students and supporters to go to business school
8. Move into a bigger house
9. Buy a modest franchise location of a coffee or fast-casual chain, to test my acumen to run a business like that before I even think about trying to run a full-service restaurant or bar
10. Help fund a group home project for LGBT youth in Vancouver

Your number 4 being above number 8 is slightly boggling me. Can't tell if you are serious. I might have to look into investing in a Prius.


Myself, If I won a substantial amount of money by today's standards... I'd...

• take a bath in it

I'm dirty like that.

 

[Pink Ranger]

Your number 4 being above number 8 is slightly boggling me. Can't tell if you are serious. I might have to look into investing in a Prius.


Myself, If I won a substantial amount of money by today's standards... I'd...

• take a bath in it

I'm dirty like that.

Lol, because I already live in a pretty nice place, but my car sucks, so no doubt the first thing I'm going to blow my money on.

 

[obin_gam]

Way different in the way it's attained. Now maintaining it... still gotta do work. It's like muscle, Arnold definitely focuses more on the maintaining his wealth.

way ahead of you

 

[GoldCrest]

Why do my threads always wind up with me getting raped?

Probably because you made your co-worker cried.

 

[Erzengel]

Purchase SHH and make it less kid friendly.

 

[Pink Ranger]

Purchase SHH and make it less kid friendly.

Read the post that came immediately before yours. Does it need to get worse than it is now?

 

[Manic]

I didn't picture you as a Toyota person. Are talking Prius or Tundra?

I'm a "sensible car" person. I used to own a Yaris sedan before some b**** totaled it in a hit & run. I'd probably just buy a Corolla or Camry.

 

[Bruce Banner]

Would you bring a bicycle? Would you wear that cool suit that you sported the other day? Do you wear loafers without socks?

Nah, no bicycle, I have no problem walking. I'd buy a better suit, but I'm more of a jeans/sport-coat guy.

You're right, I wear loafers without socks. How'd you know?

 

[Erzengel]

You tree huggers. I don't know what kind of mpg an Aston Martin has but I'd buy that and drive it around town.

 

[Erzengel]

It's 13....but eff it.

 

[Soapy]

Buy an abandoned missile silo out in the middle of nowhere, fix it up real nice, and live in it.

 

[knowsbleed]

Lol, because I already live in a pretty nice place, but my car sucks, so no doubt the first thing I'm going to blow my money on.

As long as you're happy with your domocile, that's all that matters.

way ahead of you

Ahh... gotcha. Sex is pretty important.

Probably because you made your co-worker cried.

Why you gotta bring up old ****?

Purchase SHH and make it less kid friendly.

Read the post that came immediately before yours. Does it need to get worse than it is now?

Why you gotta bring up old ****?

I'm a "sensible car" person. I used to own a Yaris sedan before some b**** totaled it in a hit & run. I'd probably just buy a Corolla or Camry.

I don't see the puke smiley. *looks for vomit smiley*

Nah, no bicycle, I have no problem walking. I'd buy a better suit, but I'm more of a jeans/sport-coat guy.

You're right, I wear loafers without socks. How'd you know?

Oh, you'd be surprised at what I know. I know things that even I don't know about.

 

[Kane52630]

I would buy money and the use the money to buy money.

 

[Holiday]

In order;

Tell no one.
Get the money out of U.S. dollars so it's not losing it's value.
Get my teeth fixed starting with braces.
Buy a car that doesn't use so much gas and give the truck I drive now back to my father.
Eat healthier food and and get a gym membership.
Travel the world, possibly move to another country.
Get a house and redesign the inside as a vault from Fallout 3.
Lend knowsbleed a dollar, just to say I did.
I wouldn't keep my job because of travel but I'd learn a new skill or two to find better employment.

 

[Baramos]

I'm assuming you mean a large amount, like several millon? Or even one million. Anything less than that is hard to like, see as a big life-changing win nowadays. Less than that and it can make you much more comfortable, of course.

After taxes, I'd invest 30%-40% of what was left in low-risk stocks and bonds, another 20-30% in higher risk, higher yield stocks and bonds, and live off the interest. The only problem with most AAA companies is you have to pay a premium, but that is certainly safe. When you get down into A/BBB range the risk is higher, but so is the yield (6% is a good bet). I'd probably put quite a bit into that range of risk as well as the safer range.

Actually the U.S. treasury bond yield is up around 3%, those are incredibly liquid. I could just stick the bulk of it in there until I found some companies worth investing the rest in. At least that way I'd be avoiding inflation. Actually quite a bit of it could stay there, as well, indefinitely. It's better than letting it languish in a bank (unless the bank is offering a good return, but I have yet to run into any offering 3%, the best I could find was 2.5% and they've downgraded since then...)

That was all rather boring...okay, I'd like a new BMW. I'd make that my splurge item from the win.

 

[Hobgoblin]

Pay off my school bills, save some, buy a house, go on a nice vacation donate some.

 

[DoomsdayApex]

I would:

- NOT pay off my debt.

- Hire Neil deGrasse Tyson as my personal tutor

- Get my Ph.D

- Resurrect Dinosaurs

- Force Stephan Colbert to be my personal 'quip' man

- Invest in James Cameron

- Obliterate Tampa Bay off the map


to be continued...

 

[StrainedEyes]

Pay off my insane amount of student loans.

 

[Mace Bloodstone]

What has tampa ever done to you DoomsdayApex?

 

[enterthemadness]

If I won say 310 Million dollar lotto...I would claim the winnings, but might do it via a lawyer first in trust thing. I would then take a lump sum of say...I guess 180-200 million, may be more than that. But let's say it's 180 million I keep.


First thing I would do, is donate 50 million to the Libertarian Party. 50 Million means ballot access in all 50 states in 2016...it means tv ads, radio ads. Maybe not enough to win, maybe not enough to get into the debates, But from what I know...it has cost under $1 million, way under, this year for them to get ballot access in 47 states and D.C. Of course I would have to ''oversee'' where the money goes to btw...and I imagine I'd be some type of ''member for life''.

Then I would pay off my parents house, sister's house, pay off the cars and their cars.

I would issue a lawsuit against the CPD, RNC, and DNC just like the Johnson Campaign has. And I have the money to fight those corrupt parties tooth and nail. Remember, I only need about 20 million out of the 180 to myself and family. I would still look for a day job even if I am rich. I wouldn't live rich.

So $50 Million to LP, $50 in lawsuit and court costs at the most I would be willing to spend. $100 million right there. Under $1 million to pay off two houses, and 3 or so cars. So lets just says $101Million. Then $5 million for myself in bank/savings/bonds. About $100K in a fire proof safe at home. Then another 15 million to family. No, not cousins no, no, no. Well maybe. Course remember, I still want to work.

and I'll tell Hollywood to go F off, for not fighting to keep daytime soaps alive.

And then I would try and get legal citizenship in Switzerland. Legal Heroin you say, Swiss? With a doctor's note and in a clinic you say? Well, that's tempting since it's in a controlled environment. I imagine I visit another country though for weed. I tell everyone on Twitter 'Getting high as hell in Amsterdam...after I get citizenship'.


Oh, oh, oh, I would literally throw 500k at FoxNews face. make me a intern/producer on RED EYE.

Hyep:...You can't throw money at people just to get hir--
Me: money logic, brah.

Oh, I would try and buy TNA for $100K with this face . ahahahahahaAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Then sell it to WWE for 2 Million MAUAHHAHAHAHAHAA

I hope Kane posts a crazy gif of a crazy person. The bold = I'm very serious on, everyhting else is a joke or 'half serious' on.

 

[chaseter]

I would also buy SHH and ban half the mods.

 

[DoomsdayApex]

What has tampa ever done to you DoomsdayApex?

I assure you, my intentions are pure.

My ex and her boyfriend inhabit the city.

AND...

Tampa is home to my dreaded nemesis. The repulsive, sleazy Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

Oh, how I loath Tampa.