Kids

[The Guard]

So my wife wants to have a child. It's pretty much the only thing she wants out of life, and always has been. Her clock is ticking, and she talks about it more and more often.

Now, I'm just curious...what do you all think is the ideal time to have a child. I know, I know, it's never "ideal"...

I'm not the type to "plan" life, beyond the most important elements. I don't know that there's a "right" time to have children, but I do believe that people should be ready for such things on some level. It's not that I'm afraid a kid would take over my life, or anything like that. I just want to be prepared, and don't think I am yet. Could I handle it? Sure, but I wonder if my current mindset about life and career is such that it would be good for a child. Is it the kind of thing you want to be "ready" for? Or should it just "happen"?

 

[Captain Planet!]

How old are you? How long have you been married? How old is your wife? Have you had any experience of being responsible for someone other than yourself? How much monies do you make? How big is your house? Do your wife and you have a good, strong relationship? Does your car have four-wheel drive?

 

[Knightsaber Priss]

Speaking of kids....oh my flipping god....I heard the girl upstairs yell at her boy, saying "Will you just shut the f*** up?!" So I yelled up at her from my apartment to never use that type of language with a small child and to grow up. I also yelled at her to see why he was crying in the first place. I mean my God, the kid is probably barely 2 years old. I yelled more things but I'm not going to paraphrase them for you.

 

[The Apatow Crew]

Speaking of kids....oh my flipping god....I heard the girl upstairs yell at her boy, saying "Will you just shut the f*** up?!" So I yelled up at her from my apartment to never use that type of language with a small child and to grow up. I also yelled at her to see why he was crying in the first place. I mean my God, the kid is probably barely 2 years old. I yelled more things but I'm not going to paraphrase them for you.

That sounds like my sister. Who's always yelling at the kid and swearing at the child and syaing all kinds of mean things.Her kis is only like 2 years old. She isn't one of those people to ever have kids she has zero patience.

 

[Sensi]

I would never have a kid because of some clock ticking. You had better really have the deep love and commitment it will take. Also, the deep love that keeps you and your wife together through all the hardships. Kids aren't just fun and games... Truly a lifetime commitment and selflessness. I know I will have to think long and hard on that subject.

 

[Majic Walrus]

So my wife wants to have a child. It's pretty much the only thing she wants out of life, and always has been. Her clock is ticking, and she talks about it more and more often.

Now, I'm just curious...what do you all think is the ideal time to have a child. I know, I know, it's never "ideal"...

I'm not the type to "plan" life, beyond the most important elements. I don't know that there's a "right" time to have children, but I do believe that people should be ready for such things on some level. It's not that I'm afraid a kid would take over my life, or anything like that. I just want to be prepared, and don't think I am yet. Could I handle it? Sure, but I wonder if my current mindset about life and career is such that it would be good for a child. Is it the kind of thing you want to be "ready" for? Or should it just "happen"?

Don't worry about being ready. You're not. You never will be. Your child will consume your every moment of life. You will not play video games or read comics as often. You will not hang out with friends often. You and your wife will fight for the entire pregnancy and on into the actual childhood.

It's the best thing I've ever done in my entire life.

 

[jaguarr]

So my wife wants to have a child. It's pretty much the only thing she wants out of life, and always has been. Her clock is ticking, and she talks about it more and more often.

Now, I'm just curious...what do you all think is the ideal time to have a child. I know, I know, it's never "ideal"...

I'm not the type to "plan" life, beyond the most important elements. I don't know that there's a "right" time to have children, but I do believe that people should be ready for such things on some level. It's not that I'm afraid a kid would take over my life, or anything like that. I just want to be prepared, and don't think I am yet. Could I handle it? Sure, but I wonder if my current mindset about life and career is such that it would be good for a child. Is it the kind of thing you want to be "ready" for? Or should it just "happen"?

For years, doctors told my wife and I we'd never be able to have kids. We had a lot of fun trying. I had a lot of the same questions about fatherhood that you do, though; wasn't quite sure if I was really ready. Then, last November, we found out we'd managed to get pregnant. I was scared ****less, but kind of excited about the prospect. I had months to get myself in the right headspace, which I definitely used to do just that. My wife had a very hard pregnancy and was on bed rest for nearly 7 months. It was an extremely stressful time, but all things looked good for the baby in spite of all the medical issues we faced in getting pregnant and our age (my wife was 41 when she gave birth, I'll be 40 next year). We were sure it was a girl. Dead positive about it. Then the ultrasound tech told us it was a boy. And then he decided to come six weeks early. More time spent in Stress City as he was in the NICU. They told us he'd be in there for 6 weeks. It damn near killed my wife, trying to recover from a hard pregnancy and a c-section and spending all her time down at the hospital with him. They had several false starts around when we'd be able to bring him home, which stressed my wife out even more, but we eventually sprung him out of the joint after 15 days. Then my in-laws showed up the next day and stayed with us for five long weeks in which I often stood over their bed holding an axe in the middle of the night because they did nothing but add to all the stress. Then we got them out of there and my son started his colic phase for 2 1/2 months. More stress. It was just 10 months of solid stress like you cannot even imagine, but my wife and I stuck together and got through it. It was a very educational time in our lives. We learned a lot about each other and ourselves. And, now? Now my son is six months old and is happy, healthy and hell on wheels. He's the best thing that ever happened to me and I'm loving being a daddy. I was more ready than I thought and I can't wait until he's old enough for guy stuff like sports, video games, comics, dinosaur toys, remote control cars, and all that stuff. He already loves to sit in my lap and watch football games and now that he's past all the stressful stuff, has figured out that having fun and laughing are priority number one. All I can tell you, from a guy's perspective, is that you won't feel ready for fatherhood until well after the kid is born and has stabilized a bit and quits colicking (they're awful hard to love when they scream 24/7 ). Women are ready for it before they even get pregnant, I think (so your wife's mindset on the subject isn't going to go away). Men tend to get their daddy switch flipped after the kid is born, in my experience. But it's just an awesome thing, man. I say do it!

jag

 

[bunk]

So my wife wants to have a child. It's pretty much the only thing she wants out of life, and always has been. Her clock is ticking, and she talks about it more and more often.

Now, I'm just curious...what do you all think is the ideal time to have a child. I know, I know, it's never "ideal"...

I'm not the type to "plan" life, beyond the most important elements. I don't know that there's a "right" time to have children, but I do believe that people should be ready for such things on some level. It's not that I'm afraid a kid would take over my life, or anything like that. I just want to be prepared, and don't think I am yet. Could I handle it? Sure, but I wonder if my current mindset about life and career is such that it would be good for a child. Is it the kind of thing you want to be "ready" for? Or should it just "happen"?

You have a big yard? Lot's of housework?

Because it's never too soon to starting creating yourself a small workforce.

But seriously, I myself would not want it to just "happen". I don't think it's enough for one person to be ready, I think both should be. At the same time, you have to give something to the person who is ready. Maybe it's setting up benchmarks or some sort of time line. That can't be terribly comforting to just be like "I don't know when, just not now".

 

[The Guard]

How old are you?

26 in December.

How long have you been married?

Five months. We've been together for five years, living together for about two.

How old is your wife?

25.

Have you had any experience of being responsible for someone other than yourself?

Yes. A dog, growing up, siblings, and my wife, in terms of health insurance, etc. Have I had to watch kids? Not terribly often.

How much monies do you make? How big is your house? Do your wife and you have a good, strong relationship? Does your car have four-wheel drive?

I make about $40 grand a year, she makes somewhere near $30. We don't have a house, we do rent a duplex. It's not huge, but it's got sizeable bedrooms, a massive living room, a backyard, and a basement for the child to toddle around in and eat spiders.

My car has four wheels, period.

Don't worry about being ready. You're not. You never will be. Your child will consume your every moment of life. You will not play video games or read comics as often. You will not hang out with friends often. You and your wife will fight for the entire pregnancy and on into the actual childhood.

Well, that sounds like a rewarding experience. I kind of figured on the "never be ready" part. But people always say it's the best thing that ever happened to them. Why, exactly? Is it a change of perspective that happens after the child arrives, is it just interesting, something new, what?

I've told her that I'm open to the idea...that I don't think we're quite where I'd like us to be in terms of maturity just yet. I don't have a really good reason not to have children other than the fact that I'm somewhat selfish with my time and pursuits. There are things I haven't done that I want to do before I devote a large part of my life to a child. But then, there were things I wanted to do before I devoted a large part of my life to a woman...and that's worked out pretty well, so...

 

[Logan's Runt]

Don't have kids, bad life-decision.


Or, what jag said.

 

[jaguarr]

Don't have kids, bad life-decision.


Or, what jag said.

LOL! Way to take a firm stand the issue, Runt. I'm proud of you and your child-bearing hips.

jag

 

[Logan's Runt]

It's called being fair and balanced!

 

[jaguarr]

It's called being fair and balanced!

Are we still talking about your child-bearing hips? Because your description makes them sound like a set of tires. Or Fox News.

jag

 

[Logan's Runt]

Are we still talking about your child-bearing hips? Because your description makes them sound like a set of tires. Or Fox News.

jag

I'm not even following myself anymore.

But they do have a lot of mileage on them!
And... they're out of touch with reality? /FoxNewsReference

 

[jaguarr]

I'm not even following myself anymore.

But they do have a lot of mileage on them!
And... they're out of touch with reality? /FoxNewsReference

Are they steel-belted with water-evacuating grooves?

jag

 

[Logan's Runt]

Are they steel-belted with water-evacuating grooves?

jag

Steel studded with snowchains!

 

[jaguarr]

Steel studded with snowchains!

Hawt!

jag

 

[Logan's Runt]

Chaaaaa.

 

[terry78]

How many of you honestly had kids that you planned for? Most people say they just had them unexpected.

 

[The Senator]

Jag is 41?

 

[terry78]

Jag is 41?

Did you honestly think someone our age kept that kind of composure on here for so long?

 

[knowsbleed]

How many of you honestly had kids that you planned for?

*raises hand*

 

[The Senator]

Did you honestly think someone our age kept that kind of composure on here for so long?

I'm going to refer to him as "old man jag" from now on

 

[jaguarr]

Jag is 41?

I said my wife was 41 and that I would be 40 next year. Please tell me you're not proof-reading bills for the Senate.

jag

 

[tzarinna]

My god how old is your wife, clock ticking? Go for it, have some babies and name them all after me.

I'm pushing 40 and the old man is pushing 50, we're kind of trying. I think next year we're going full force!