Living In Parents Basement.

Discussion in 'SHH Community Forum' started by the last son, Feb 24, 2013.

  1. the last son Registered

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    I recently got a new job and can afford to get my own apartment in a few months but both of parents strongly suggest I save up for a year and buy a house. I've been living on and off with my parents since high school I'm in my mid 20s now and personally I'm tired of it. But I think I will save up. But how am I ever going to have a personal life when it seems it's look down to still live with parents? I guess I can go without dating for a year and focus on work. To the ladies on here would you date a guy my age living with parents and to everyone am I doing the right thing by staying with parents for one more year to save up and not worry about what anyone thinks?
     
  2. James Built from Lego

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    I'm not a woman, but there are plenty of girls who would date a dude still living at home. Nice girls too, that whole stigma of living at home is pretty understandable these days. Heck, plenty of girls live at home into their mid-twenties as well. And no joke, the words "I'm living at home right now so I can buy my own place next year." are pretty damn impressive.

    If you can afford your own home within a year, I'd say definitely hold for it. The benefits of being able to have your own house far outweigh any negatives there might be living with your folks for another 12 months.
     
  3. The Guard Registered

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    Why on Earth would you buy a house before you've even had your first apartment?

    Owning your own home has its negatives, and if you've never lived on your own, you can't really gauge how you'd handle it, can you?
     
  4. the last son Registered

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    I've had an apartment a few years back. I said I lived on and off. I work 6 out of 7 days over the road so I would only be here at my parents house on sundays anyway which makes the decision a little easier to just stay for a year.
     
  5. James Built from Lego

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    Because rent is money that could be going toward owning a house. If I had the chance to move directly into my own home and skip renting, I sure as heck would have.
     
  6. Spidey-Bat Ours is the Fury

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    I'm in a similar boat. I just graduated last May and am currently in grad school. My parents are paying for that. I wasn't really keen on it but I have no job/money myself. Fortunately it's not very expensive, it's better for my career long-term and it's making me take it much more seriously than if I were paying for it myself.

    Anyway, I would move out to an apartment on my own because I simply hate living at home. My parents have this expectation that if they need me to do something, I'm compelled to do it immediately. Often times they bother me when I'm in the middle of doing work. I practically live in my basement now which they interpret as me being anti-social, when it's really just that I want my own quite space to work in since I became used to it having my own dorm room last year (the year before I had a single dorm and before that my roommate was almost never around).

    I'll save the rest of my own issues. Just the standard early/mid-20 year old problems of living at home. I would definitely move out to an apartment if I had the opportunity now. Dating issue aside, you want your own space to live how you want to. As Guard said, you want to be sure you can handle living on your own and it's better to only have an apartment than a house.

    My view on buying a house is that you should make that decision with the person you're going to live with (girlfriend/fiance/wife). Not yourself or your parents (their input is beneficial but shouldn't all you have to go on. It's a greater decision you're making and you should have some idea of your long-term future planned out before you do it. You're still young enough that you may end up moving either due to work or because you want to. If you have a house, that is a major issue to deal with as opposed to if you had an apartment.

    TLDR; if you're in a stable job making a decent salary that you could afford an apartment, I would definitely do it because you're at an age where you want your own space to live how you want to. You can see how living at home goes for awhile. Personally, I lasted about a month before I started thinking, "I can't live here anymore."
     
    #6 Spidey-Bat, Feb 24, 2013
    Last edited: Feb 24, 2013
  7. Baramos Registered

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    I think the current economic recession has removed a lot of the stigma of living with one's parents, so you would probably be able to do okay on the dating scene, especially if you have a good job and future ahead of you.
     
  8. JewishHobbit Registered

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    With today's economy, I'd highly recommend saving to buy. I'll be turning 32 in April and I'm living with my wife and kid in my mom's basement with the intent of paying off old debts and begin saving to buy a house. If I would have done this in my mid-twenties I'd have a house by now with less debt (exluding house payments). With how low house costs are right now it'd be smart to save up and buy so that you can have the house paid off prior to retirement. That's my plan anyway. It'd be a heck of a lot easier if I didn't have old bills and kids to pay for. I say take the year or more if needed and get yourself a decent home in your budget. If you're worried about what "the ladies" think... they're typically more impressed by a guy who owns his own home than one who is renting an apartment. Just make sure the house is in your budget. You can always upgrade it when the market picks back up.

    Not to mention, a lot of times a home mortgage costs less than rent. In my area, a 2 bedroom house costs no less than $750 a month to rent and most mortgages for a house the same size are closer to $550 a month.
     
    #8 JewishHobbit, Feb 24, 2013
    Last edited: Feb 24, 2013
  9. bullets bang bang

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    I moved out way too soon. I wish I had stayed with my parents and saved money for a couple years instead of rushing to get an apartment.
     
  10. JJJ's Ulcer Registered

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    I disagree with almost everyone in this thread. Self-respect is important and if you're living in your parents' basement, you won't have it. You're an adult. Take the initiative and find a cheap place to rent, maybe with a friend you can split the costs with. If you can land even a mediocre-paying job, you can afford a couple hundred dollars in rent a month. If apartments aren't cheap enough where you are, move to an area where they are. Your parents might not encourage you to move out, because of empty-nest syndrome or because they haven't fully accepted you're a man, but you know it's wrong. Furthermore no one in their 20s has a house. And you don't need one until you have your own family, with a wife and kid. But that brings us to our next problem. NO, most women won't date a man who's living in his parents' basement. I'm sure some will disagree and talk about how true love can look past that blah blah blah, but just no. The sooner you move out, the better for you. It will be hard, but you will feel proud and will build your own life free of your parents. And yes, you will get ass.
     
    #10 JJJ's Ulcer, Feb 24, 2013
    Last edited: Feb 24, 2013
  11. James Built from Lego

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    Most people in their twenties don't own a house. But they do exist.
     
  12. Mad Love The Future of Justice

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    Yup, it really depends on where you live and your income whether you can afford one or not, and it's possible to get a good deal on a foreclosed house. I have some friends who have houses all in their 20s, but I definitely couldn't afford one.
     
  13. the last son Registered

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    I disagree with almost everything in this post. Why should I waste hundreds a month on rent when that can go into savings. Some houses are going for as cheap as 10,000. If I put away that 400/500 a month towards a house instead why can't I have enough in a year? Renting with friends is not an option. It's wrong? I don't know about all that. Maybe a little lazy but nothing wrong about it. About the women I'm not making a decision to waste money on rent just to get laid which is what it seems like most people do. I can go without dating for the next year if it means moving out on my own is the only way to get laid.
     
  14. JJJ's Ulcer Registered

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    Correct. Most people in their 20's don't own a house. But most people do have their own apartment. He should prioritize and realize renting a cheap apartment now is preferable to waiting a year (or more) to own a house (and why? He doesn't have a wife and kid) and in the meantime staying in his parents' basement. To me the choice seems pretty clear. But to each their own. All I can do is give him my opinion.
     
  15. JewishHobbit Registered

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    All but one of my college educated friends had a house before they hit mid to late-20s. The ones who went straight into the workforce did not. I still don't.

    And I completely disagree with JJJ (though I respect his opinion). While moving out quickly and getting an apartment is sure to make you feel good, it's a temporary high. You can live like that, and it's fine, but it's difficult to build up a savings and do all the things that responsible adults should be doing. Trust me, I know. I did exactly what JJJ recommends... moved out at 21, got an apartment, and started life. And now, as I had previously stated, I'm 31 and living in my mother's basement (for the 3rd time) doing what I should have done at 21, and because I'm older with more debt and more responsibilities, I'll be here a lot longer as a result.

    But it's the age. My younger brother and sister are 21 and talking to them about this stuff is like talking to a wall. They still want to go out and buy expensive cars and blow all their money in the name of independance. I told them I'll make sure the basement's in nice condition for when they move back in a year or two.
     
    #15 JewishHobbit, Feb 24, 2013
    Last edited: Feb 24, 2013
  16. Mad Love The Future of Justice

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    You should try dating anyway. If you explain that it's temporary, then it's more than understandable. I think it's better to find out than be worried if it's a problem. Maybe it won't be. Maybe you'll find someone who doesn't mind, your relationship is going strong for a while, and you two could move in some place and save up together.
     
  17. JJJ's Ulcer Registered

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    So why did you ask advice if you're already made your choice?
     
  18. BLACKVULCAN Token Black Superfriend

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    HELL YES YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING!( just my 2 cents not like anybody cared!) i pretty much was like "okay! you are Old enough so out you go!" when i was a kid and it's been hard as hell!" if you have a chance, go for it! and Maannn! if you explain this like you did here to any chick and she dont understand! then i would say you are better off without her! Plus as a single dude!chicks dont dig guys who eat outta cans and have a nasty apartment! which as most young guys working do (i did:woot: i just told em the maid was sick! hehe) Hell yeah you are doing the right thing!. Forget this stupid " i live at home in the basement" stigma!that's smart!
     
  19. PyroChamber Not lactose, it's milk!

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    True, but it's not looked down upon for women like it is for men.
     
  20. JewishHobbit Registered

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    Regarding a date life:

    My friend Ryan turned 33 in September and has lived in his mom's basement his whole life. First it was due to college, then for the sake of saving money. He's been dating an absolutely amazing and gorgeous girl for 7 years and just asked her to marry him on Valentine's day. With all the waiting they've finished college, set up a savings, got their lives together, and are currently building their first house. They are getting married in the fall and moving in after they get back from the honey moon.

    Living in your parents' basement doesn't mean you won't get a girl. It just means you have to be more careful if you're in a sexual relationship. Nothing else changes. Like others have said, living in your parents' basement with the intent of saving up money to better prepare you for life is smart, not lame, and it'll make the rest of your life go smoother, which will better impress the ladies if you haven't already found one during your basement years.
     
  21. Mad Love The Future of Justice

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    Yup, it's unfair but you only have to find one great girl that doesn't care about that.
     
  22. JJJ's Ulcer Registered

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    But is that what makes a girl great? Not caring about your living situation? My girlfriend is great, but she wants me to be ambitious and independent. I don't think she would have kept dating me if I had brought her back to my parents' basement. And I wouldn't be able to blame her. Yes, last son might be able to find a girl who doesn't care about his living situation. But he's making it a lot harder and closing off a lot of options.
     
  23. the last son Registered

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    But I feel I shouldn't move out just so I can try and get a girl that way. I mean it's hard trying to find the right woman period so I shouldn't put myself into a bind instead of setting a goal.
     
  24. Mad Love The Future of Justice

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    Well, you'd want a girl that's understanding and will support you through thick and thin. You don't what someone judging you based on your current finances. She can push you to do better without holding circumstances against you.
     
  25. JewishHobbit Registered

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    And it'd be different if he were living at home indefinately with no plan of moving out. If it's a temporary situation then there's no real drag.
     

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