In the noble tradition of Sins Past, the following will soon be revealed in the pages of Amazing Spider-Man:
1. Mary Jane, during the time she was in Florida pursuing her modeling career, met a cabana club lounge singer, and after a getting rip-roaring drunk, they got a quickie marriage. MJ filed for divorce faster than Britney Spears. Unforunately, it didn't go through which means MJ is still married to the guy, making her a bigamist and her marriage to Peter null and void.
2. Gwen didn't just sleep with Norman that fateful night--she also slept with his son, Harry...in a menage a trois. Harry walked in on them during the act and Norman invivted him to join in for a "moment of quality time between father and son" by sharing Gwen. Harry, intimidated by his dad and always having a crush on Gwen since childhood, agreed. This is the reason he later turned to drugs in order to cope.
3. Aunt May and Doc Ock also got in on and this is revealed during the marriage of May and Jarvis, with Doc Ock interfering with the ceremony a la Dustin Hoffman from The Graduate, saying Jarvis can never satisfy a beauty like May. "What do you mean by that, you toad," says Jarvis. Doc Ock holds up all four of his tentacles, smirks, and says "Take four wild guesses, you imbasillic twit."
4. Wolverine is Mary Jane's biological father (the real reason why her arm healed and not the complex medical attention Iron Man and Spider-Woman gave her.)
5. Nick Fury is Peter's biological father. However, Richard and Mary Parker gave birth to a son who had mutant spider-powers. Naturally, this will lead to the next arc guaranteed to change Spidey forever, "The Battle of the Spider-Brothers."
6. J. Jonah Jameson and Betty Brant got in on like Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky during a New Year's Eve party at the Bugle (naturally, Betty was upset about being a widow and regretting that she never married Peter). As a result, Jameson cries out like George Castanza "I'm giving you a raise!"
7. Gabriel and Sarah are not just Norman and Gwen's kids, they are "clones" of Peter and Gwen. That's because Norman modified his reproductive genes with Peter and Gwen's DNA, much like Terry McGinnis' dad was with Batman's genes in JLU's "Epilogue." So Peter, technically, is a father after all.
8. And speaking of fatherhood, thanks to Peter "reawakening" to his "new powers" as a result of "The Other: Evolve or Die," he now has the ability to extract MJs ovums during intercourse and fertilize them inside his own body. This is revealed when he literally lays an egg sack when he's on the john and gives birth to hundreds of four-inch high "Man-Spiders" that terrorize the city a la "Gremlins."
Funny to see it still around. 
