Mix up movie captions

[Panthro]

EASTWOOD: If anyone other than Hugh Jackman or Christian Bale plays me in a remake of my old movies, I´ll go Dirty Harry on yo asses!!

I always thought Jackman looked a lot like Clint.

HULK: "Come to me, son of Jor-el! Kneel Before Zod!"

 

[Jack Bauer]

JONES: The night is darkest just before the dawn. And I promise you, the dawn is coming.

 

[Doctor Jones]

I always thought Jackman looked a lot like Clint.

HULK: "Come to me, son of Jor-el! Kneel Before Zod!"

I think my mom and many women would disagree with you on that. t:

 

[Doctor Jones]

JONES: Clearly you've never met our women.

 

[Doctor Jones]

JONES: Gloria, if you don't get me my Diet Coke, I will rip your **** off.

 

[The Navigator]

KIRK: Klingon bastard, you killed my son!

 

[ultimatefan]

KIRK: Wow, isn´t this light amazing, Bones? We don´t even look like we´re 70!

 

[Panthro]

HECTOR: "I'm here to fight for truth, justice, and the American Way."

ELIZABETH SWANN: "Ha! You're gonna end up fighting every elected official in this country!"

 

[The Squirrel]

Hakuna Matta

Hakuna Mawhatta?

HA-KU-NA MAT-TA!!!!!

 

[kedrell]

Dent: "Rosebud."

 

[Panthro]

ABOMINATION: "Winged Freak terrorizes? Wait'll they get a load of me!"

 

[Panthro]

Tell me which of these works better -

TWO-FACE: "Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, fore-fleshing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey **** he is! Hallelujah! Holy ****! Where's the Tylenol?!"

BATMAN: "Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, fore-fleshing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey **** he is! Hallelujah! Holy ****! Where's the Tylenol?!"

 

[Panthro]

HULK: "Are you a god?"
BLONSKY: "No."

HULK: "Then Die!!!"

 

[wiegeabo]

HULK: "Are you a god?"
BLONSKY: "No."

HULK: "Then Die!!!"

HAHAHAHA

 

[Doctor Jones]

HULK: There's a passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17. The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you. I been sayin' that **** for years. And if you ever heard it, it meant your ass. I never really questioned what it meant. I thought it was just a cold-blooded thing to say to a mother****er before you popped a cap in his ass. But I saw some **** this mornin' made me think twice. Now I'm thinkin': it could mean you're the evil man. And I'm the righteous man. And Mr. 9mm here, he's the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness. Or it could be you're the righteous man and I'm the shepherd and it's the world that's evil and selfish. I'd like that. But that **** ain't the truth. The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd.

 

[Ash J. Williams]

Hulk: What's the matter? The CIA got you pushing too many pencils?

 

[Panthro]

Love the Hulk meets Pulp Fiction & Predator ones.

HARVEY DENT: "The truth is... I am Iron Man."

 

[Panthro]

RACHEL: "Hi, I'm Plenty."
DENT: "But of course you are."
RACHEL: "Plenty O'Toole."
DENT: "Named after your father, perhaps?"

RACHEL: "You know something, Peter Franks? You're a terrific guy! A little weird, but a terrific guy! Say, why don't we go some place and have a drink?"
DENT: "A drink?"

 

[The Navigator]

RACHEL: You found me beautiful once.
BRUCEL: Honey, you got real ugly.

 

[The Navigator]

(reading telegram)
" 'By personal command of the Fuhrer, secrecy essential to success, eliminate the American conspirators.' "
(looks up)
"Germany has declared war on the Jones boys."

 

[wiegeabo]

"I love the eyepatch by the way. Very... Pirates of the Caribbean... *arg*"

 

[Panthro]

HAHAHAHA

Thanks.

HE-MAN: "Leave all that can be spared behind. We travel light. Let's hunt some orc."

 

[Ash J. Williams]

Rachel: Kill em' for me, Marv. Kill 'em good.
Brucel: I won't let you down, Goldie.

 

[wiegeabo]

"Would you **** me?... I'd **** me... I'd **** me hard..."

 

[Panthro]

HECTOR: "The night is always darkest just before the dawn, and I promise you the dawn is coming."