My life is falling apart!!

[JokerNick]

Okay, I am currently engaged, as many of you know… I love my girl to death, she is everything to me, she is probably the only reason I am alive and well today (whole other story)…… this last Friday was almost the end of me… I was getting mad, because she just finished up with school (took summer classes to finish early), and she stayed out this past Thursday after work, to just hang with some co-workers (play darts), I was mad because she never told me where she was (we live together BTW), well she got home around midnight, which is really late for her, she told me where she was, but I was still mad…. Well Friday came, I never gave her a kiss or hug goodbye, I was still mad at her, later that day I messaged her “so how was “playing’” darts, I’m not an idiot BTW”… well that Friday night came, she was working again (waitressing), I went out with my friends, I got home at about 1am, and she wasn’t home, so I got furious (I was drinking to much that night too) and drove down to her work, where I ordered her outside, and yelled at her like no other, I was in her face… some of her co-workers came out, and I started yelling at them…. Katie pleaded with me to calm down, and that she was just about done, and was going to come home, she asked me to wait with her…..I said I would wait by her car… well I waited about 2 minutes, then grabbed a piece of paper and wrote “I’m done with you, don’t expect to see me ever again”… well needless to say, she never came home that night….. when I realized she wasn’t coming home at around 4am, I freaked out (amazing what you realize when you sober up)… I tried calling her over and over again… I was literally breaking apart… she only messaged me once, saying she was fine, and that she would talk to me tomorrow night when she got home from work…

Well, that Saturday, I was a wreck, I haven’t cried in about 10 years, but I was breaking down like no other that day….. I couldn’t eat anything, I felt like puking… I finally got her to message me again, she said that she still loved me, but she’s need some time right now to figure things out……. Well, after reading that, I knew that she was concerned about me, and if I really did love her… so I went out, and bought her a big thing of flowers, and wrote a short note saying that I was so sorry, and that I love her more then anything…. I then had my friend drop them off at her work that night….. well, she finally did come home that night, and we talked, cried, but I could sense that what I did, caused more then a flesh wound to her, I hurt her deep inside…… just knowing that is killing me right now… I still haven’t ate anything… it’s been 2.5 days since my last meal….

I told her yesterday, that I am going to go back to counseling, and that I want her to come along… that I want to change (my temper on Friday was only the tip of the ice-berg. I have belittled her so much in the past, made fun of her meanly, ripped on her family, I have been tearing at her insides for awhile now),

I told her that she makes me want to be a better person… I told her, from now on, I will treat her like I first did when we dated, like a princess…. This past weekend has been so hard on me, harder then my accident a few months ago, harder then anything….. but I also think this weekend was the best thing for us… I finally realized what I have become.. that I have been nothing but a superb jack-@ss to her… but the thing is, I can still tell she his hurt deep inside… do you think her wounds will heal overtime… is there something I can do to reassure her that I am going to change…..???

 

[Darren Daring]

I like how the title of the thread makes it seem like outside forces are conspiring to destory you, when this is clearly your fault.

I wouldn't date you, and neither should she

 

[GoldenAgeHero]

dude your a jerk. youb got pissed for no freakin reason.

edit: now that i read the whole article at least your getting help with your temper.good job

 

[JokerNick]

dude your a jerk. youb got pissed for no freakin reason.

i know... it is all my fault, I know that... I am a terrible person, she has been there for me so much... and I treat her like garbage.... I told her sunday, that I didn't deserve her, and that I think she would be better off without me...

 

[Erzengel]

You obviously have issues but you are taking the first step to recovery by going back to therapy which is a good.

And honestly boyfriend or not you were out of line embarassing her in front of her co-workers. True it's only a waitressing job, but you stepped over the line. As her co-worker, I would have either smacked you down if I thought she was in danger or called the cops on your ass.

People forgive/forget in their own way but some people will remember those type of actions. Bottom line, you f'ed up and there's nothing really you can do aside from wait for her to forgive you and then thank your lucky stars if she does.

Honestly, hopefully it's cause you are 22 and a still a stupid kid (no offense) and you will grow out of this. Trust is very important in a relationship and if you don't trust her, your relationship will not be salvageable.

 

[GoldenAgeHero]

i know... it is all my fault, I know that... I am a terrible person, she has been there for me so much... and I treat her like garbage.... I told her sunday, that I didn't deserve her, and that I think she would be better off without me...

you should'nt have said that, she probably take you up on that offer.

 

[Erzengel]

Also enough of the self deprecating s't.

"I didn't deserve her."

"I think she would be beter off without me."

Boo f'ing hoo. Get over yourself.

 

[kane9321]

someone has ..anger issues

 

[Mee]

I’m not an idiot BTW

I beg to differ.

t:

Really, what you did was dumb, she may forgive you since you were drunk and you do seem sorry about it but...eh, that's all I got.

 

[JokerNick]

you should'nt have said that, she probably take you up on that offer.

no, she didn't take it up, she said she still loves me... god this is going to sound weak.... but last night, we talked for a long time, and we cuddled and everything untill she feel asleep on top of me... it was the hardest thing in the world leaving her this morning to go to work.....

I always throw it in her face about all the stuff I've done for her... but I told her last night, that she has done 100x more for me... that she's given me someone to hold, worry about, care for, work for, and most importanly, someone to love...

I really don't deserve her at all.... I am thanking god that she didn't leave me....

 

[Sofa]

Your damn lucky she listened to what you had to say to her after that. You really are. Know that for a fact. As for what you did. I have no idea what that was about and why you did it. You need to learn to be patient. Shell come home. And you know that now because she actually listened to you, proving that she loves you a whole damn lot.

Work on your issues, and youll see how better things get.

 

[JokerNick]

Also enough of the self deprecating s't.

"I didn't deserve her."

"I think she would be beter off without me."

Boo f'ing hoo. Get over yourself.

fari enough, but thats how I feel, and I got a feeling many others will feel that way too.... luckly, I talked to both her sister and BF this weeked about it, and they knew I was sorry.... so its good that I am somewhat on their side....

 

[Darren Daring]

what's with the elipses? Do you think it makes you seem like a windswept young man confessinf his innermost secrets to the sea? Cause I'm getting that vibe.

 

[kypade]

obviously you dont deserve her. oh well, you'll find someone less good eventually.

 

[Erzengel]

fari enough, but thats how I feel, and I got a feeling many others will feel that way too.... luckly, I talked to both her sister and BF this weeked about it, and they knew I was sorry.... so its good that I am somewhat on their side....

Honestly, the ball is in her court now. There is nothing you can or should do there Ike. Just be patient and hope she will forgive your ass.

 

[Erzengel]

what's with the elipses? Do you think it makes you seem like a windswept young man confessinf his innermost secrets to the sea? Cause I'm getting that vibe.

Brodie......to answer that......we must.....go.....back to the......beginning.

 

[JokerNick]

Honestly, the ball is in her court now. There is nothing you can or should do there Ike. Just be patient and hope she will forgive your ass.

that's what I was figuring... the only thing I can really do, is do what I said, go to counsleing, get help, and show her that I am changing... the rest is really up to her I guess....

 

[Kipobe]

Okay, I am currently engaged, as many of you know… I love my girl to death, she is everything to me, she is probably the only reason I am alive and well today (whole other story)…… this last Friday was almost the end of me… I was getting mad, because she just finished up with school (took summer classes to finish early), and she stayed out this past Thursday after work, to just hang with some co-workers (play darts), I was mad because she never told me where she was (we live together BTW), well she got home around midnight, which is really late for her, she told me where she was, but I was still mad…. Well Friday came, I never gave her a kiss or hug goodbye, I was still mad at her, later that day I messaged her “so how was “playing’” darts, I’m not an idiot BTW”… well that Friday night came, she was working again (waitressing), I went out with my friends, I got home at about 1am, and she wasn’t home, so I got furious (I was drinking to much that night too) and drove down to her work, where I ordered her outside, and yelled at her like no other, I was in her face… some of her co-workers came out, and I started yelling at them…. Katie pleaded with me to calm down, and that she was just about done, and was going to come home, she asked me to wait with her…..I said I would wait by her car… well I waited about 2 minutes, then grabbed a piece of paper and wrote “I’m done with you, don’t expect to see me ever again”… well needless to say, she never came home that night….. when I realized she wasn’t coming home at around 4am, I freaked out (amazing what you realize when you sober up)… I tried calling her over and over again… I was literally breaking apart… she only messaged me once, saying she was fine, and that she would talk to me tomorrow night when she got home from work…

Well, that Saturday, I was a wreck, I haven’t cried in about 10 years, but I was breaking down like no other that day….. I couldn’t eat anything, I felt like puking… I finally got her to message me again, she said that she still loved me, but she’s need some time right now to figure things out……. Well, after reading that, I knew that she was concerned about me, and if I really did love her… so I went out, and bought her a big thing of flowers, and wrote a short note saying that I was so sorry, and that I love her more then anything…. I then had my friend drop them off at her work that night….. well, she finally did come home that night, and we talked, cried, but I could sense that what I did, caused more then a flesh wound to her, I hurt her deep inside…… just knowing that is killing me right now… I still haven’t ate anything… it’s been 2.5 days since my last meal….

I told her yesterday, that I am going to go back to counseling, and that I want her to come along… that I want to change (my temper on Friday was only the tip of the ice-berg. I have belittled her so much in the past, made fun of her meanly, ripped on her family, I have been tearing at her insides for awhile now),

I told her that she makes me want to be a better person… I told her, from now on, I will treat her like I first did when we dated, like a princess…. This past weekend has been so hard on me, harder then my accident a few months ago, harder then anything….. but I also think this weekend was the best thing for us… I finally realized what I have become.. that I have been nothing but a superb jack-@ss to her… but the thing is, I can still tell she his hurt deep inside… do you think her wounds will heal overtime… is there something I can do to reassure her that I am going to change…..???

Oh, for crying out loud.

a). I'm not reading all that.

2). Boo ****ing hoo

d). Ugh

 

[Darren Daring]

Brodie......to answer that......we must.....go.....back to the......beginning.

I think he's making fun of us.

But then, I think everyone who confesses crippling emotional problems on the hype is making fun of the people who respond.

 

[JokerNick]

I think he's making fun of us.

But then, I think everyone who confesses crippling emotional problems on the hype is making fun of the people who respond.

no, not at all actually.... to be honest... i think i get the most honest responses from strangers... plus, over a forum, it is easier to write what you think then to have someone actually tell you face to face...

 

[Sofa]

no, not at all actually.... to be honest... i think i get the most honest responses from strangers... plus, over a forum, it is easier to write what you think then to have someone actually tell you face to face...

I get what you mean, and im sure you can tell who cares and who doesnt.

 

[Darren Daring]

no, not at all actually.... to be honest... i think i get the most honest responses from strangers... plus, over a forum, it is easier to write what you think then to have someone actually tell you face to face...

Okay, I can kind of understnad the elipses in the main part of the post, but what the **** are they doing at the end? Your thought is finished.

 

[Erzengel]

I get what you mean, and im sure you can tell who cares and who doesnt.

I don't care but that doesn't stop me from giving an honest reply garnished with my own personal wittisms and digs.

 

[JokerNick]

Okay, I can kind of understnad the elipses in the main part of the post, but what the **** are they doing at the end? Your thought is finished.

you really look into stuff to much man... I always feel tht threads are meant for questions, more then statements.... so IDK...

 

[Darren Daring]

I get what you mean, and im sure you can tell who cares and who doesnt.

Well, duh, I'm not being subtle about it