my phoenix treatment,

[xphoenix_forcex]

Hey guys, these are just a few ideas for xmen t3 that i had from the start and think still could have been implemented to make this movie 100x better and more solid.
This is my treatment for Jean Grey Phoenix, for xmen 3 THE LAST STAND.

-to start, i would have had the opening be a voiceover by prof x as the first 2 were, and have it be about not the effects mutants have on society (as was in the first 2) rather, the effects mutants have on themselves and their reactions to their being outcasts. This scene would ahve had the young angel scene as normal and prof x would explain how mutants put an even bigger burden on themselves then society does, and then have him go onto saying something along the lines of "sometimes, this burden is too great.."

NEW OPENING SCENE: jean and her friend as young children playing , her mother looking on through their kitchen window , watching the girls play with a ball when it rolls onto the road, jeans friend goes to get it and is hit. Jeans mutant powers emerge in their full force as jean feels the pain of her dieing friend inside her head (asin the comics) . She puts her hands on her ears and begin to scream, crouches in a ball and starts to levitate . Jeans mom is watching in awe from the kitchen, when she is shot back (somewhat like magneto was) and the glass window she was looking through shatters. as she watched jean floating in the air, suddenly a bright light from shoots out from all angles of her body (much like the characters "phoenix force' attack in xml2) covering the screen in a while glow.


--->From this point we enter into the xmen opening with all the fancy lights as is goes through the mutant mind (as used in x1 and 2) with its electricity and whatnot, howeevr this time when it reaches its end comes out through the closed eye of a woman , a woman underwater. it is a close-up of her face, slowly panning out to see her hair floating in the water and then .. her eyes open. and the title appears XMEN:THE LAST STAND.

..
there would be no more sign of jean again until you see scott riding the motorcycle to alkali lake. inbetween him riding it would show more flashbacks this time just cuts of her first encounter with xavier.(the same material as used in the movie , used the same way just at a different point.)

NEXT SCENE CHANGE:
when jean emerges i would have her come out like she did except ..
- i would have had cyclops get shot way back into the forsest and see him hit his head. but i would want them to amplify that his glasses were knocked off in the blow.
- i would have jean floating in the air , only not jean, DPhooenixx, unaware that anyone was there, the water would be all around her rising up and floating and she would have her hair blowing all over and kind of giggling the dark phoenix.. a kind of (im finally free giggle.. an evil one). as she floats the rocks start to come up too until finally scotts glasses that were knocked off during the blow of her coming up, have them float right infront of her face (eyes specifically) and then for a instant the normal jean comes back .."scott .." and then falls to the ground.

prof x would send wolvie and storm like normal, they find the glasses assume she killed Scott, find jean, take her home.. and then she would wake see glasses and just think she killed him knowing that the dark phoenix probably would.

everything would go as it did in the movie until her battle with proffesor x. only have all the xmen in the room when he explains jean and the phoeix rather than juts wolvie . i would have him emphasize that his mind powers are the last and only thing keeping it somewhat in now that its almost all out.

CHANGE SCENE:
Magneto and Xavier enter the house to find jean, the house is shaking as it was in the film. They try to convince her that she needs to come home, and then Xavier sand Magneto start to fight (same as the movie). Only jean keeps having flashbacks of her parents sitting infront of her fighting over what to do with her, before they meet Xavier.
Back in real-time- jean shoots him away magneto as she is angered, and for a split second sees her mother in the same position as him the day she first had her powers emerge. She is very angry.
FLASHBACK: jeans father says something like “hes the only one that can help her (trying to convince the wife that Xavier needs to come) “hes the only one that can lock it away!”
from this point on the same,... as she lifts him and kills him, only when she kills him the phoenix is fully released and we see the fire power around her, and eventually the flaming bird. The wolverine and storm and juggernaut and callisto all watch , jean calms down and is in shock realizing what she just did, and goes with magneto.

Forest scene change: I likes this scene, except before it happens I would want magneto to approach jean and ask why he chose to come with the brotherhood, and for her to reply something along the lines of “I have no intention of trying to save this planet”.

The BRIDGE SCENE: magneto tries to move the bridge but it sees to heavy so, jean turns around dark phoenix style and lifts all the cars in the air and flys up with them, and then begins to shoot them off and into the water below it. she is crying while she does it showing the real jean is locked inside terrified. magneto is relived of some weight and pulls off the move.

everything is the same again until the she is attacked by the army:

FINAL BATTLE SCENE: she kills them like usual and then begins to destroy alcatraz, only the xmen dont leave or try to help the people off, they all stay and watch. and speaks finally to say how this world is sick and it must be burned away because it isn’t working, and flys up and the ocean begins to rumble and whirlpools are created like the one when she came up from the water at alkali, storm and wolvie watch in awe, . storm says she cant do anything and jean is too strong.. the weather over the water is all jeans doing. the whirlpools go right down to the bottom of the ocean and then lava erupts. hugs tornadoes of it spraying into the sky. jean is going to destroy the world because its not working. she is screaming about how the world is filled with hate and fear , how humans fear there own kind and build machines to destroy one another (hinting more about sentinels). one of the xmens screams "but your one of us!" and she replies "i am no mutant, i am no xmen! i am the phoenix!!!" and wolvie realizes what he has to do and the xmen watch as he tries to get near to her.. same as the movie depicted it, but when he goes to stab her he is shot away by a red beam.

"jean"... cyclops appears. wolvie gets up, he was shot back to the xmen. when he gets up storm tells him "sometimes u have to let go". jean is in sick, thinking the man she loved was dead and is now standing before her, the same thing happens as did when she emerged. she totally stops all chaos and is just standing there. he walks to her. she is crying. she tells him she cant hold it any longer, he tells her he has to fight and that the professor can help her. he is unaware of his death. She tells him she’s done terrible things, and he realizes why Xavier isn’t there, and why he cant help her. Because he is dead. Jean begins to show him images in her mind of her fighting Xavier, throwing logan back, shooting the cars into the water, destroying her street as a child and then a new scene of her shooting Xavier through a room when she is younger and revealing a movie version of why he is crippled. ( I thought that would be a good way to explain why he isn’t in a wheelchair when he meets jean, but is in one now!)

Scott now knows exactly why he has to end her. She is crying and says “I cant be saved”.
The whirlpools start to turn again and the fires begin to erupt. The xmen realize they might have to make a final attack., and try to end this once and for all if scott cant. Storm starts to make lighting, colossus metals up, wolvie gets the claws out once again etc,..

Scott looks around and sees the chaos jean is causing and realizes she is right. he looks at her and sees she has fought all she can, and looks exhausted. The bird erupts around her. He starts to cry from underneath his visor. Eh looks at the xmen, in equal pain, and nods. Turns back to jean, she says “scott let me see your eyes” He instantly knows what he has to do and rips the visor off his face.
From a far distance the screen shows alcatraz with chaos in the oceana All around it, lava and fire everywhere, and you can make out a huge burst out of red energy. The screen goes red and like in the last age of phoenix endsong we can make out jeans face and she smiles. She is gone.

The water falls and the lava stops, the wind stops and you see wolvies claws slowly retracting, and scott kneeling covering his eyes in the distance screaming “nooo!”.

That’ would have been my treatment for jean.

 

[The Original Bamfer]

There is a Scene ReWrite thread

 

[adam waugh]

much better but i still enjoyed the movie but if u agree with me , it would have been much mutter if the pheonix effect was actually the one that we are used to seeing

 

[ico]

I am impressed, I liked that reinvention a lot. And it would've made a lot more sense in the long run. The fact the writers made it so vague and deep when it came to Phoenix meant a whole lot of split opinions and debates whereas your version is pretty clear.

 

[Psylocke8]

I just cant see Cyclops in the final battle.

 

[ico]

....why? Because in the original movie he wasn't there?

Anybody with a little imagination could stick him there easily.

 

[flavio_lebeau]

some of these ideas are really good, but some others sound strange to me.

 

[xphoenix_forcex]

My STORM treatment:
for the storm character, I think that they really over killed her for no reason, giving her random scenes just so she will be on the silver screen (with no purpose however.) so this is my treatment for the character, hope u guys likeee!


(the following scene would take place right before the danger room scene)
NEW SCENE: Storm enters the mansion, into the living room where scott, wolverine and rogue are sitting. She asks where curt is, she is smiling and blushing, and playing with her new hair with her fingers. (one might assume that she is excited to show him her hair cut). They say they don’t know, rogue mentions she saw him enter the professors office. A blank look crosses her face. “well then.. the rest of us need t get down to the danger room, training starts in 5 minutes. Bobby and kitty are already down there (a look of disgust flashes across rogues face). Suit up !”


The danger room scene would now take place as it did.

(part 2) Storm (after completing her training with the students), goes looking for Kurt again, this time at the professors office and stands outside the door , which is open a crack as she peers through listening to the conversation inside.
Professor: “Kurt, that is a decision you have to make on your own, I cannot make it for you. You know your place here is valued and your abilities needed , but we cannot make you stay”
Kurt: “Then I have made up my mind professor, I cannot live a life of fighting, I cant stay at the mansion.”
Professor: “Ill let storm know – -
Kurt (cuts proff. Off): “Let her know I -.., that I am sorry”.
The sound of kurt “bamphing” out echoes through the door, and storm knows he’s gone for good.

(I thought this scene would work well because it would have been low budget and your wouldn’t have needed any actor to play nightcrawler again as he was too expensive, you would simply need the actors voice for those few lines. That way it would clear up nightcrawlers missing, and give storm her own purpose in the film)


CHANGE SCENE: now, when I saw the storm scene when she is playing with the weather outside the mansion in the trailers, I expected it to be really good, but it was very pointless. So here is how I would have changed it.


While storm was standing there I would have had her replaying the office incident in her head, with kurts voice ringing over and over “tell her im sorry”. That would give reason to why she was so upset and then causing the storm from being troubled. When professor x would come to see her he could say something like “you always knew you were the only thing keeping him here storm, this place, this war. It isn’t for everyone.” Then he could lead on to saying how things are always changing, you know how fast the weather can change blah blah and then she could say something like “now nightcrawlers gone, scott is never there, how are we supposed to go on”. That could lead up well to their discussion in the hall about her becoming the leader. I would want however during this conversation for the professor to say something like “there’s one thing you could always count on though, im walking out of this place anytime soon” (and then he would smile at his own joke, and she would smile too.). That line from professor x would really mean a lot because when he dies he did leave, and storm would be even more torn apart and just feel like she was helpless.

Like I said in my phoenix treatment I would have wanted all the xmen there when prof.x explained the phoenix force and how he locked it away in jean when she was a child. I wouldn’t have wanted storm to say anything. Just stand over her and look at her critically. I think the character would have respected prof.x’s wishes and understood why. Storm would have stared at her asif wondering who she really was, and realizing that the jeans he knew was dead. Later when logan goes looking for jean after she kills the professor , and storm and logan fight , storm should have said something like “that wasn’t the jean we knew that the did that! The jean we knew is dead! Shes not coming back! (with angry teary eyes, asif so frustrated that another person she cared about is gone.)

CHANGE SCENE: another scene I would change for storm would be the scene at the battle at alcatraz when she is facing callisto. I would draw their fight out a little bit and have her get a little more beat up. Then I would want the screen to show something falling behind her and making a bamph noise. Storm turns her head to see what it is, getting excited. Realizing that it was the sheet metal clashing against itself that created the noise she turns back t her fight. Callisto says “waiting for someone to save you!” and throws a punch, and then storm replies “SAVE YOURSELF!” and then shoots her with lightning onto the metal gate. (this scene would show that storm is taking things now into her own hands and done being helpless).



FINAL CHANGE SCENE: When Cyclops shoots wolverine away from the phoenix in her fury, and wolverine gets up and tries to make his way back to her, storm would stop him, and step in and say something like ‘sometimes you have to let go Logan” (this would show how she was able to let go of prof.x and of nightcrawler, and was also able to help Logan let go. She would be teary eyed when she said this.

I think my treatment would have shown growth in storm, instead of just showing her as all of a sudden tough and out there as she was in x3. The first 2 showed her very reserved and stonelike when it came to emotion, this would not only show emotion but also emotional growth.

 

[xphoenix_forcex]

As for my pheonix idea, i forgot a part i wished to add, in order to tie in to my idea for a much better ending. I had the idea that it would show a tv screen and it would be a report on a new island that was created ontop of the old alcatraz, about 20 times larger then alcatraz, the island was created the night of the raid on alcatraz and seemed to have been made by molten hot lava erruptions from the ocean. The source of the eruptions is unknown. The island will be called ..."genosha". Then the screen would pan out to see magneto playing chess, and his face, grinning at what he just heard and then subconsioucly move the chess peices at his fingertips.

 

[xphoenix_forcex]

As for my pheonix idea, i forgot a part i wished to add, in order to tie in to my idea for a much better ending. I had the idea that it would show a tv screen and it would be a report on a new island that was created ontop of the old alcatraz, about 20 times larger then alcatraz, the island was created the night of the raid on alcatraz and seemed to have been made by molten hot lava erruptions from the ocean. The source of the eruptions is unknown. The island will be called ..."genosha". Then the screen would pan out to see magneto playing chess, and his face, grinning at what he just heard and then subconsioucly move the chess peices at his fingertips.

 

[ico]

wow thats sounds like a really interesting idea actually, that the lava produced a huge land-mass around Alcatraz, and then it benig renamed Genosha. You have a knack for this xphoenix_forcex!