Nice guys DO finish last

[Castlewood]

Edit

 

[GunBlade]

Hmm..this is tough.

 

[Joker]

kill your friend, make it look like an accident...jesus, the solution to these things is always so simple, yet you people are always so scared to do it...all you need to do is break into your local hospital, steal a sample of the aids virus, and inject it into him when you see him...he f**ks around alot, so they'll never be able to tell that you actually did it...or, if you want to be more straightforward, just inject some air into him, stop his heart...the great thing is, that looks like a heart attack, and they'll never figure it out...NEXT

 

[jaguarr]

You aren't a nice guy, to be honest. You're being co-dependent and pining after someone you can't have who's nothing more than a friend. There's a big difference. My honest advice? If you really treasure your friendship with this girl, be her friend...not her friend who eventually hopes to hook up with her and be her knight in shining armor because it's not going to happen. I went down this road when I was younger (around 18). It didn't go well for me and I've never seen it go well for anyone else, either. You're young, single and in college. You're surrounded by young, single, beautiful women everywhere you turn. Many of them are just as amazing as your friend. What's the problem?

Sorry if that sounds a little harsh, but I felt like you needed a reality check, my friend. Life's too short to spend your youth pining for women who aren't going to be what you want them to when there are so many other AMAZING women out there to meet and enjoy the company of.

jag

 

[Joker]

You aren't a nice guy, to be honest. You're being co-dependent and pining after someone you can't have who's nothing more than a friend. There's a big difference. My honest advice? If you really treasure your friendship with this girl, be her friend...not her friend who eventually hopes to hook up with her and be her knight in shining armor because it's not going to happen. I went down this road when I was younger (around 18). It didn't go well for me and I've never seen it go well for anyone else, either. You're young, single and in college. You're surrounded by young, single, beautiful women everywhere you turn. Many of them are just as amazing as your friend. What's the problem?

Sorry if that sounds a little harsh, but I felt like you needed a reality check, my friend. Life's too short to spend your youth pining for women who aren't going to be what you want them to when there are so many other AMAZING women out there to meet and enjoy the company of.

jag

you know, I hate you people...I always come in with great advice, and then someone like you has to come along...I really think I could have gotten this guy to kill this other guy too, he seems desperate enough, and then you ruin it...bastard

 

[jaguarr]

Oh, sorry. Joker's right. Go to a power tool rental place, rent a chainsaw, and then wait for this chick's boyfriend to come home. Sneak up behind him and put a handkerchief full of chloroform over his mouth and nose until he passes out and then cut him up into little bits. Make sure to get lots of his blood and flesh in your hair, in your clothes and under your fingernails. Touch as many things as you can in his apartment. With luck you'll get sent to prison and that will win her heart because she obviously likes bad boys and you'll have proved you're a badder boy than her current beau. And you know what that means....conjugal visits *wink wink, nudge nudge*

jag

 

[Halcohol]

you know, I hate you people...I always come in with great advice, and then someone like you has to come along...I really think I could have gotten this guy to kill this other guy too, he seems desperate enough, and then you ruin it...bastard

It's not like you were gonna get it on videotape, anyways. And we all know that anything not videotaped didn't really happen.

 

[ComicChick]

temple, i think you should talk to her and tell her. tell her that you hate to see her putting up with the horrible boyfriend who treats her so bad, when she could do so much better. and if you get the typical response of "like who?", then that's when you'd say "like me", and tell her how you feel.

either that, or tell your friend to treat her better or dump her and go play the field like he's been doing.

 

[The Apatow Crew]

Yes nice guys do finish last. I know all about it.

 

[Joker]

Oh, sorry. Joker's right. Go to a power tool rental place, rent a chainsaw, and then wait for this chick's boyfriend to come home. Sneak up behind him and put a handkerchief full of chloroform over his mouth and nose until he passes out and then cut him up into little bits. Make sure to get lots of his blood and flesh in your hair, in your clothes and under your fingernails. Touch as many things as you can in his apartment. With luck you'll get sent to prison and that will win her heart because she obviously likes bad boys and you'll have proved you're a badder boy than her current beau. And you know what that means....conjugal visits *wink wink, nudge nudge*

jag

your way is stupid

 

[Assassin]

I wish I acted on My only highschool crush. She still lights up with a smile when I saw her a few days back for the first time in 2 years like back when we were friends in highschool.

Ohh well

 

[Tyrinus]

I gotta say it...you picked some ****ty friends.

 

[Motown Marvel]

okay, i've been in this EXACT situation before. heres what you gotta do:

1. NEVER outright tell her to break up with him. when she comes to you with problems with the boyfriend, advise her. give her ideas on things she can try to make the relationship better. and tell her that if the b/f is not willing to actively take part in making the relationship more fulfilling for her, then she needs to question his commitment to the relationship, and she needs to question if this is a relationship thats healthy for her. SHE needs to be the one to decide to break off the relationship....you cannot tell her to do so. advise her to take the steps that is best for her well being and happiness. this will hopefully and eventually lead her to the realization that she needs to end the relationship. be patient with this.

2. you CANNOT be advocating her to break up with her boyfriend just so you can pick her up. you needs to be advocating the split because you know its best for her, and her well being and happiness is more important than your feelings for her and your desire to date her.

3. if/when the break up comes, dont suddenly be jumping all over her. she's gonna need her time to deal with the situation and her emotions, and she'll sincerely need you there as a FRIEND! not someone who is pining for her love and affection. be there for HER. not for YOU.

4. finding out if she has mutual feelings for you: this is the tricky part. the simplest answer....alcohol.

 

[Poeman]

I need to vent a little, and this is the first place I thought of.

Here’s my situation.

I’m 20 years old, and I am in deeply love with a girl. She’s beautiful, like… AMAZINGLY gorgeous… and she’s also my best friend in the whole world. I’ve loved her since 6th grade… back before I even knew what love was. She doesn’t know how I feel about her.

The problem is, she has a boyfriend, and he is also my friend.

He treats her like absolute garbage.
He calls her “trash”.
He won’t return her calls.
He’s always too busy to be with her.
He never makes time for her.
He has cheated on her numerous times (and we know this).
He has been demanding her to have sex with him since the first month they were dating, and she’s been saying no ever since (which is why he cheats).

They’ve been together for 3 ½ years.

She won’t dump him. She’s afraid of being alone. She was abused as a child, so the abuse from her boyfriend makes her feel “normal”, because being treated like garbage is the only thing she’s ever known since childhood. If she were to be treated like gold... it would be a very different experience for her, and it would almost feel strange, since it’s against everything she was treated like when she was little.

The three of us go to separate colleges… but she is transferring to my college next year.

That makes me happy, but at the same time, it makes me nervous that I won’t be able to hide my feelings for her any more.

She calls me every day, and every night… and we talk for roughly 3 hours a day. She talks to her boyfriend for about 10 minutes everyday (or some days not at all, because he doesn’t “feel like it”).

She and I have a strong connection. She means the world to me (although I’m not sure the feeling is mutual). I’ve spent the night at her house numerous times (without her boyfriend knowing), and I am always there for her when she is down (and just there, period).

I LOVE HER SO MUCH.

I’d do anything for her. I wish she could know that I would treat her way better than this guy ever would. I would hold her, cherish her, kiss her, cuddle with her when she’s having a bad day… I would freakin’ love her until it made her sick. I would love her TOO MUCH... lol.

I wish she could know that she doesn’t have to be treated like garbage. I wish she could know that there is a guy right here who is head over heels for her.

She’s a virgin, and so am I… and I would gladly save myself for marriage with her. I’m saving myself for marriage anyway… but I wish it was her.

^^ Don’t take that in a sexual way… What I mean is… I wish I could make love to her, and let her know how much I love her, and how much she means to me… and that I’ll always cherish her and never put her down in any way.

I HATE it when guys show off and act stupid, saying things like “Yeah, I banged her brains out”.

I could never look at her in that way. She is such an amazing person, with a good soul, and a beautiful heart, and I could NEVER look at her as a sexual object worth only 5 minutes of pleasure. She’s so freakin’ gorgeous… she’s like a goddess… and I would gladly marry her and MAKE LOVE to her instead of just “have sex”. I disagree with anybody who is into violent sex, I think it’s absolutely ridiculous, and I think America as a culture looks at sex in all the WRONG ways.

She doesn’t know I feel this way. She doesn’t know that she would be treated like the queen she is if I was with her… and that I would put her high on her pedestal, and show off to the world that I’m the luckiest man in the universe for having such a gift from God.

But you see, the thing is… I can’t tell her these things.

She’s my best friend.

Two things could happen if I told her:

1.) She feels the same way, she dumps her boyfriend, and her and I live happily ever after.
2.) She DOESN’T feel the same way, and our friendship is strange forever, and possibly destroyed... because she now knows how I feel about her.

So, because I can’t tell her how I feel, she will remain to be treated like crap, and I will remain to have a heart that aches because I can’t be with her. Every time she calls me, and I see her name on my phone, my heart just ACHES at the fact that I have to listen to how this queen is being treated like garbage… and I can’t do a damn thing about it.

Nice guys finish last… and my life is a living hell because of it.


My question is… what would you do? Would you risk 8 years of friendship to tell her how you feel? Or would you keep it a secret forever and always be her best friend, without any consequences?

Help me.

im in a similar boat, thing is ive told her how i felt about her...and she told me too she had feelings for me. but she was with her guy who isnt my friend though..but it stinks man i cant fully get over this girl too...but its best to tell a person how you feel, knowing you know them so well they wont **** you over. i was nervous but i did it and she gave her answer back, it just sucks how these things are. But who knows maybe you wait it out a little and once she transfers to your school when youre alone with her talking about stuff like relationships, bring it up.

 

[Poeman]

You aren't a nice guy, to be honest. You're being co-dependent and pining after someone you can't have who's nothing more than a friend. There's a big difference. My honest advice? If you really treasure your friendship with this girl, be her friend...not her friend who eventually hopes to hook up with her and be her knight in shining armor because it's not going to happen. I went down this road when I was younger (around 18). It didn't go well for me and I've never seen it go well for anyone else, either. You're young, single and in college. You're surrounded by young, single, beautiful women everywhere you turn. Many of them are just as amazing as your friend. What's the problem?

Sorry if that sounds a little harsh, but I felt like you needed a reality check, my friend. Life's too short to spend your youth pining for women who aren't going to be what you want them to when there are so many other AMAZING women out there to meet and enjoy the company of.

jag

this is very good advice too.. i suggest doing this too, but sometimes its hard to hold it back, well for me it is. but this is true... waiting around is the WORSE THING ONE CAN DO. I feel i do it time to time.......... dont!

 

[Shuley]

Nice guys don't finish last...If a guy is nice and they ask a girl out nicely and they say no, They think it was because they were nice,Alot of girls turn down nice guys because they went out with people they thought were nice and they turned into jerks. BTW, your "friend you love so much" has self esteem issues big time! She's thinking she can't do any better so she stays with him.

 

[Kaleb]

Jag gave the best advice,and I too went thru the same kinda thing.Goodluck with whatever u do.

 

[November Rain]

Let's get some things clear...

If you are in love with a friend, and she isn't aware of this, then she is not your best friend. And the moment you started having feelings for her, she stopped being your friend and object of desire.

Oh and if you are trying to get with your friend's girlfriend, then i don't really think he's your friend either, at least you don't picture him as your friend.

Quantifying time on the phone doesn't make you better.

Someone who cheats doesn't necessarily make them a bad person, that is up to your friend to decide and not you.

When one starts a relationship, you really would wish to for it to happen with both parties going into it with a relatively even amount of attraction for one another. You've put this lady on a pedastal and you wish to worship her when the majority of the time people in a relationship just simply wished to be valued and not taken for granted. When one party likes another one too much, it's usually where this starts to break down because sooner or later problems about reciprocating these feelings come into order while you become more obsessed.

People as friends are very very different once you enter that relationship fold, i have many female friends that are great friends but you see their interactions with their boyfriends who they may make out to be the bad party but you can tell that they are actually the catalyst to the problems. Very rarely possible to see this from the outside, especially if feelings are there.


anyway the bottom line is that you should tell her.

You have no grounds not to, the friendship you think you are in with her is based on lies because you have feelings for her and what you are really scared of is being in her close fold 'pretending' that her friendly company would suffice and that is something a stalker would do.

either she likes you and that;s all great or she doesn't, you bite the bullet, moan for a while and try to pick things up and get on with it.

Whatever happens, i believe you have put yourself in a corner where a route of pain is the only viable route out and that might have to do with your personallity of setting yourself up to fall.

if I were you, i'd take a long look at yourself and wonder why you've allowed yourself to be an emotional anchor to this girl who obviously cares about another and may be using you to get by the hard times.

Oh nice guys don't finish last. Creepy guys that pretend to be nice guys to get with their 'friends' finish last. I think you may be the latter.

Anyway, good luck

 

[Kaleb]

Lol wow november rain that was brutal.

 

[Shuley]

I heard on the radio that you should do what's called "The Bandade Effect" Just come right out and say it. Then back off a little and give her time to think about it,follow up with some flowers and a note that says "how's dinner at 7"?

 

[November Rain]

Lol wow november rain that was brutal.

everytime one of these threads comes up, it reminds me of how stupid i was back in school....I was merely talking to a past version of myself.

The funny thing is that TempleFugit isn't going to listen and will continue to play this charade...

 

[Kaleb]

yeah I agree,and it also happend to me in high schøøl and college,I just wish the hype was invented back then so i could have poured my heart out to some strangers and take their advice.

 

[britrogue]

Nice guys don't finish last...If a guy is nice and they ask a girl out nicely and they say no, They think it was because they were nice,Alot of girls turn down nice guys because they went out with people they thought were nice and they turned into jerks. BTW, your "friend you love so much" has self esteem issues big time! She's thinking she can't do any better so she stays with him.

You have a point. Nice guys really scare me now, because I married the nicest guy I had ever met and he turned into a living nightmare. I then found out he'd done the same thing to countless women before me, and will no doubt continue doing it.
However, on a more helpful note, my best friend is a guy, and I developed a crush on him. He found out about it, didn't feel the same way, but it hasn't changed out friendship at all.
If she's really your friend, knowing your feelings will not make any difference. However, the difficult situation is the boyfriend, and as he is your friend as well, I suggest you talk to him about the disgusting way he is treating her.

 

[dpm07]

Most girls like the bad boy type. Psychologically, on either an overt or sublime level, they like the excitement, and they their underlying maternal instincts make them believe that they can change the bad boy.

A person who is good-natured and compassionate and not the stereotypical bad boy, will always come in second and lose out to the girl.

You must accept this. You cannot change it. This is the way the world works. If you know a bad boy is out there and he's interested in a girl that you like, then just move on. Accept your loss and try to find someone else. There is nothing you will be able to do to dissuade her from making her choice for the stereotypical bad boy.

 

[Pythenis]

Speaking from expiriance you have to really take a look at yourself and the rest of your life. For example, 4 years from now if you never just come out and say "I would really like to take you out on a real date. I know you have a boyfriend, but I really don't care. Thats how I feel." You will have major regrets, if you do not at least try and do this. Don't make it seem like your doing her a favor by sweeping in and being everything she deserves in a guy, just tell her. "I really would like to have you as a girl friend, I think your great, let me take you out?"
She says no,....say ok, but really I love you as a friend and it does pain me every day to see you have to deal with a guy that does not care about you and I am really concerned for you. Tell her you both have the rest of your lives ahead of you and you think maybe she needs to focus a bit on discovering herself before she even has a serious relationship. Just some caring words from a friend that will always be there for her.
Whats the worst she could say "no"? She is already saying that to you everyday by not dating you. As far a "ruining" your friendship well, honestly your 20 years old allot of people are going to come and go out of your life but don't put your life on pause waiting for her to see your the better option.

As far a you are concerned, well you may find in the next 1-4 years you want someone totally diffrent than the girl you want now. Trust me I know,..it took me until I was about 25 before I really knew what I wanted in a girl.

I think the bigger issue here is you, your a good guy (thats never a bad thing) but you probably have some confidense issues o r you would have asked her out already. Your probably really unselfish and genuinely want to help this girl but while your doing that the rest of your life as well as possibly the love of your life will go unnoticed because you have such a feeling for this other girl. It's ok, get your feelings off your chest, don't carry this stuff around for the next 10 years. Live life, it's pretty short and it only goes by faster the older you get. Don't waste time being so concerned about unknown things, get out there and be a mover and shaker man.

Shake and bake!!