No sex in the relationship = No relationship?

[The Spawn]

So....I'm at work, and about 8 of us get into this discussion...here's the important part:

Mary: So if we were in a relationship and I had sex in a previous relationship, and I told you three months into our own relationship,you wouldn't have sex with me?

Will: Nope.

Mary:Then I'd dump you...

Me: So...if you knew the man you were involved with didn't plan on sleeping with you ever, or until marriage, you'd terminate the relationship ASAP?

Mary: Yep.

Is it just me, or does that just sound wrong....?

 

[The Lizard]

This shouldn't be a public poll, but yes, that sounds a bit shallow to me too.

 

[lars573]

Sounds reasonable to me. Why waste your time. No sex in a realtionship=a really close friend. Unworthy of the title of boy/girlfriend.

 

[Venom Drool]

your options suck.

sex is vital in a relationship.. there are so many feelings and emotions built into the act of sex that words and poetry and smiles and acts of kindness cannot display. the same way you can feel loved through the way someone looks at you, more than if you say the words i llove you. aside from the love aspect, a relationship is built around forming a bond with oneanother, and that means in the physical sense as well as emotional. you need to kiss, hud, caress and hold hnds. otherwise it isnt healthy. sex isnt the most importnat thing, in fact, i dont think it should be measured in such a way to begin with. so ill stop here before i go off on a tangent

 

[The Spawn]

Please go off on a tangent.

And my options don't suck in relation to mary.

What you're saying would be added if the poll was more general.

 

[Victor Creed]

Please go off on a tangent.

And my options don't suck in relation to mary.

What you're saying would be added if the poll was more general.

Mary just sounds like she is only looking for sex.

 

[Venom Drool]

nm, choices are good...
said what i had to say, its dumbfor people to even fathom that sex isnt importnat in a relationship... its chemical.. everyoneneeds the form of release brings.. were animals with a level of control most animals dont have... we still need to let our juices flow even if children isnt the end result we like

 

[WeaponZ2]

your options suck.

sex is vital in a relationship.. there are so many feelings and emotions built into the act of sex that words and poetry and smiles and acts of kindness cannot display. The same way you can feel loved through the way someone looks at you, more than if you say the words i llove you. aside from the love aspect, a relationship is built around forming a bond with oneanother, and that means in the physical sense as well as emotional. you need to kiss, hug, caress and hold hands. otherwise it isnt healthy. sex isnt the most importnat thing, in fact, i dont think it should be measured in such a way to begin with. so ill stop here before i go off on a tangent

I agree with that, but I'd say going all the way isn't "vital".

 

[Sofa]

I agree with that, but I'd say going all the way isn't "vital".

I would say that relevant to each relationship.

 

[Victor Creed]

I would say that relevant to each relationship.

If it's a relationship based on sex, It will be short lived.

 

[Venom Drool]

all the way is vital when you get to the point where holding handsisnt enough... love grows.. the bond you have grows.. and it needs incresing forms of stimulation to satisfy that need.. sex is thebest way to satify that need

 

[Victor Creed]

all the way is vital when you get to the point where holding handsisnt enough... love grows.. the bond you have grows.. and it needs incresing forms of stimulation to satisfy that need.. sex is thebest way to satify that need

But it's not the only way. It's also the easiest and since many people would rather solve relationship problems or "forge bonds" with sex, it becomes an act of avoiding a relationship of substance. I'm not saying this is every case, but it seems to be common.

 

[The Lizard]

sex is vital in a relationship.. there are so many feelings and emotions built into the act of sex that words and poetry and smiles and acts of kindness cannot display.

......


you need to kiss, hud, caress and hold hands. otherwise it isnt healthy. sex isnt the most importnat thing, in fact, i dont think it should be measured in such a way to begin with.

Those two parts of your post sound contradictory to me.

Is sex vital in ALL relationships? What about between two 13-year-olds? What about between two parapalegics? Kissing, hugging, caressing and holding hands are quite a ways removed from sexual intercourse.


Like almost everything in life, it just depends on the person. Some couples can be perfectly happy not having sex -- they're just wired that way. Obviously Mary was not wired that way. (Although waiting until marriage for sex and NEVER having sex are totally different subjects.)

 

[The Spawn]

Define sex/

 

[The Spawn]

Okay, the subject is never having sex because she slept with another man.

For now, disregard until marriage.

 

[Venom Drool]

they arent contradixting...feelings grow and when caressing and being in eachothers presence isnt enough.. and it wont be.. then itll stem into something else.. sonething that sexi will satisfy. we arent discussing 13 year olds... were discussing adult relationships. man and women not at all children. when i was 15 i didnt need sex at all. when i was 18.. i didnt need it either... i was satified with being with my girl.. 6 months later i wanted to be with her.. to truly be with her.. i knew that sex would satify that need. why you think *********ion is done? your replicating the act of having sex, but your doing it without the emotion...

 

[Victor Creed]

Okay, the subject is never having sex because she slept with another man.

For now, disregard until marriage.

My wife and I don't have to worry about that because we were both virgins when we first had sex. The thing about sex that makes it forge bonds is the fact that sex is supposed to signify trusting someone and bringing them so close to you that you will share that part of yourself with them and only them. Today sex has been demistified into ****ing everything that moves and using excuses like "im young and if i didnt **** everything i would be wasting my youth."

The more people you share yourself with, the less trust it seems to take.

 

[The Spawn]

I seriously want to hear your definition for sex.

 

[The Lizard]

Wait, the only reason Will said he wouldn't sleep with Mary is because she had already been with someone else? Unless he had some kind of "wait until marriage" belief backing that up, I don't see his point unless she wasn't willing to take an HIV/STD test.

 

[The Spawn]

Exactly.

I think Will saw it that way.

Having sex with a guy before him just took away that exclusive.

 

[The Spawn]

I said 'marriage'.

Will was more focused on the fact that he wasn't her first and vice versa.

 

[Venom Drool]

My wife and I don't have to worry about that because we were both virgins when we first had sex. The thing about sex that makes it forge bonds is the fact that sex is supposed to signify trusting someone and bringing them so close to you that you will share that part of yourself with them and only them. Today sex has been demistified into ****ing everything that moves and using excuses like "im young and if i didnt **** everything i would be wasting my youth."

The more people you share yourself with, the less trust it seems to take.

your treating it as something way too sacred in my opinon.. its importnat to me that i dont **** everything in sight.. and wouldnt even if i didnt hav a girlfriend.. but putting that much emphasis appears to be taking the fun away

 

[Victor Creed]

your treating it as something way too sacred in my opinon.. its importnat to me that i dont **** everything in sight.. and wouldnt even if i didnt hav a girlfriend.. but putting that much emphasis appears to be taking the fun away

No, I just feel that sex is sharing a part of yourself that you shouldn't take lightly. I just hate all these little ****s running around today talking about how many of these people they've ****ed and wondering why diseases are spreading, and women talking about how they don't want to be treated like crap, but run around having one night stands with guys whose names they don't know, etc. Don't even get me started on those who abuse the morning after pill, ****ing degenerates.

BTW....Sex is still loads of fun......also, I lied, my wife wasn't technically a virgin, she had been with 3 other girls, who were though, so I don't consider that to be a bad thing, hehe.

 

[Sofa]

I see what you mean.

The sex can be fun, but essentially it's special enough that it only feels a certain way with a certain person.

 

[terry78]

As shallow as it seems, sex is a massive part of the majority's criteria when it comes to dating, and if you aren't willing, you get put to the wayside. Hell, there were a couple girls I went out with that when I told them I didn't drink, they immediately felt the need to want to "just be friends", even though I was clearly willing to explore them sexually at my leisure. There are just some people that want their significant other to share in the pastimes they enjoy, and if you don't, you're **** outta luck.