Politics and Family

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

Just wondering, for those of you out there that have a different set of political (and even religious) values than family members, how do you guys deal with it? Does it come between your relationship? Do you "agree to disagree" and co-exist?

Just curious to get people's opinions on this issue.

 

[hippie_hunter]

I come from a very Republican family. My dad still gives me crap for voting for Bob Barr instead of McCain but asides from that we all agree on conservative issues regarding government. But my dad is more neo-conservative while my mom is the "centrist" and I'm more libertarian.

It's pretty much at work where I get the crap for being a Republican.

 

[Kelly]

Majority of my family is very Conservative...My mother wrote a lot of Op Eds for the Republican Party, and gave quite a bit of money to the Republican Party. She and I had great and sometimes heated debates because I was not as Conservative, and pretty much hated both parties, and still do.

My niece (lives in Ohio) is really the only other Politically passionate person in my family, along with my other niece's husband. My niece is Liberal, but leaning Libertarian. My other niece's husband is a Conservative.

So when I'm in Plano with my family, Politics is usually non-existent, because most don't know what the hell I'm talking about, or don't want to talk about it. Probably the latter.

As far as religion, we all believe the same so, no big deal there.

 

[hippie_hunter]

Religion is weird in my family. My parents don't take my faith seriously. My mother is a converted Catholic to Methodist and her father got disowned by the Catholic Church.

 

[Kelly]

My mother was never a big Churchgoer.... I was very active through College, but I really don't have much enjoyment in organized religion today, but my faith is still strong. Religion isn't a BIG DEAL in my family, but their faith is strong...

 

[Spidey-Bat]

My parents and all my aunts/uncles are Republicans. My grandparents are Democrats. Of my 5 cousins, one is very Republican (former Marine, too), one a Democrats, one a Republican (but voted for Obama), one apolitcal, and the last I'm not sure of. My sister is a moderate Republican. I'm a Libertarian.

As far as religion, 3 of my cousins and aunt (their mom) are Protestant and I think they were involved with their church when they were growing up. Everyone else is Catholic. My parents are big churchgoers. I'm in that phase where I'm uncertain about religion, I don't hate it though.

 

[Kelly]

My parents and all my aunts/uncles are Republicans. My grandparents are Democrats. Of my 5 cousins, one is very Republican (former Marine, too), one a Democrats, one a Republican (but voted for Obama), one apolitcal, and the last I'm not sure of. My sister is a moderate Republican. I'm a Libertarian.

My Grandmother loved FDR, so she hit the Democrat box and turned in the ballot...lol

She drove me nuts....she voted for Mondale, and hated the man. She voted for Clinton and hated the man.... *shakes head* *****ed about everything the man did....and voted for him 2x.

 

[Spidey-Bat]

Regan was the only Republican candidate my grandparents voted for. I don't think they've voted since 96 though.

 

[Kelly]

Nope, my Grandmother voted for Carter the first time....yet thought the man was a horrible President. She NEVER voted for a Republican that I know of....


Kind of hard to do when you hit a straight Dem ticket every time.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

So the differences in politics and religion haven't caused any riffs in the families?

I ask because I think I'm going through a "riff" right now with a close family member who is having a difficult time with my difference of political and religious views (as well as my desire to express them, even when I am not expressing it to them directly, nor directly opposing what they specifically believe in), and has chosen to put their religious / political values above the relationship.

I was curious if anyone has experienced this, and how they have dealt with it if they have.

 

[Schlosser85]

Me and my parents are Democrats, although I'm more liberal than they are and also more politically interested. My parents didn't vote for about twenty years before voting for Obama in the last election, but they are disappointed in him, so that's pretty much removed their interest in voting next time, as they're very pessimistic about the whole process.

My parents and I are all pro-choice, all thought Clinton was a good President and Bush was a disaster, all against the war in Iraq, but I support various things that make me more liberal than they are, like supporting legalizing marijuana, supporting right-to-die, and supporting gay marriage. My mom supports civil unions and gay rights in general, but I think she feels marriage should be between a man and a woman, although she's grown more liberal on gay rights since I came out to her in 2004. Dad isn't as open on the gay issue as mom, but I think he's loosened up a little.

Religiously, my family is Protestant except for one uncle who married a Catholic and converted to Catholicism. My parents, like my grandmother and the two aunts who lived with her until she died, haven't gone to church since they were young and don't have any interest in organized religion, but they firmly consider themselves Christian and believe strongly in God and Heaven, etc. I never felt strongly religious, and categorized myself as an atheist from high school up until a couple years ago, but last year I started attending my ex's Free Methodist Church (ironically after our relationship was over, as religion as one of our main "issues" while we were dating, mostly because he wouldn't get off my back about it) and I more or less consider myself a very liberal Christian, although not nearly as much as most of my family, although I have a couple cousins who are an atheist and a Wiccan. I was never open with any of family about being an atheist, even my parents, as pretty much my whole family looks down on atheists and my aunts think Wiccans are Devil worshippers.

Most of my extended family are the conservative Christian types. My two closest aunts pretty much hate every politician of any party. My grandmother said she voted for who she thought was best for the job, and voted for Bush in 2000. She didn't vote in 2008. One of my aunts is a hardcore born-again Christian conservative Republican who goes on abortion protests, tries to get everyone around her to vote Republican, etc. I don't see her or my other aunts and uncles much though, so I've never had an issue.

 

[Kelly]

So the differences in politics and religion haven't caused any riffs in the families?

I ask because I think I'm going through a "riff" right now with a close family member who is having a difficult time with my difference of political and religious views (as well as my desire to express them, even when I am not expressing it to them directly, nor directly opposing what they specifically believe in), and has chosen to put their religious / political values above the relationship.

I was curious if anyone has experienced this, and how they have dealt with it if they have.

I have hotter political debates with friends, as far as family. We just don't talk about it much......we've had some heated conversation over the years, but they are family....that's much more important than politics or religion...we agree to disagree and move on.

 

[Paradoxium]

Pretty much never talk about politics. I don't talk about politics with girls either. Usually friends or other professionals.

 

[chaseter]

My entire family is very conservative except my Uncle and Aunt on my father's side. They are Obamaniacs. But, I consider myself a liberal conservative or a conservative independent or however you want to cut it. I mean some of my family loves Glenn Beck and I want to end my life when I hear them talk about how much they love him. Surprisingly, no one ever talks politics at family functions.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

I have tried to maintain that philosophy also. My father always told me "never talk religion and politics with family", and I learned early to not talk with my brother about that stuff, because it's just completely impossible to have a conversation with him about that stuff, and it just leads to a fight. So I don't talk to him about it.

However, I think his philosophy is that he just doesn't want me to talk about it period, to him or otherwise. Regarding that mosque issue that I talked about in the Community Forum a bit back, his church was involved in the protest against the mosque. Out of respect for my brother, his church, and his beliefs, I told him on the front end that I was taking part in the pro-mosque demonstration. I told him on the front end, in case I were to show up in the media (I was designated by the group to be a media spokesperson, and I did talk to multiple media outlets), I wanted him to know from my own mouth what my motives were for going out there, and that I wasn't protesting against him, his church, or his beliefs, merely standing up for a cause that I felt was right.

While he did give me what I felt was lip service, telling me that he was proud of me for standing up for what I believed in, the bulk of his message was a lecture telling me that I needed to realize that I planned on moving away in a couple years after I finished college, and that this was HIS community, a community he planned on raising his children and dying in. Seemed clear that his message to me was that this wasn't my community, that I didn't have any place speaking out and standing up for the political happenings. But I suppose I could have been wrong, huh?

There was also an instance a bit over a week ago that he and my friend were talking about my involvement in the mosque issue. They both thought I was asleep. I wasn't. My brother said what he had to say about the whole situation right there in front of me, and finally I spoke up, making one statement, and rather peaceably so. My brother told me not to speak, because I was just going to "open up a can of worms that I don't want", and I responded saying I've been holding my tongue regarding a lot of things lately (I didn't specify, but really it's been his family saying things to me to tell me that they don't accept my religious beliefs, or lack thereof), to which he just said I should "hold my tongue more often" (implying I shouldn't express my opinion - again how I took it)

The worst and final straw happened this past week during our local Congressional primaries. Being a registered Democrat, I voted in the Democratic primaries and didn't take part in the Republicans. There were about 6 or 7 GOP candidates, 1 in particular I wanted to see lose because her campaign has been based upon Bible thumping, theocratic ideas, and mud slinging against Muslims, tying them all to terrorism (specifically the mosque I marched in favor of prior). She lost the primary, and I made a post on my Facebook stating "Thank you sweet Jesus, there is a God, and Lou Ann Zelenik's defeat in the Congressional primary is proof that he loves us" - Never have I spoken to my brother or his family about this election. Never have they revealed to me who they supported and were voting for, and never once did I discuss the election, or my dislike of Lou Ann Zelenik with my brother or his family. It was a post on my own personal Facebook page with my own personal political views. I received a message from my brother telling me to move back to California, a message from his uncle telling me "That thin line has now been crossed", and the 2 of them have, to this point, cut off all communication with me.

So basically, I'm not in a position where I feel that these people, one of them my very own brother, and very close to me, have decided that their political and religious beliefs are more important than their family ties, and that they are willing to cut out very close family members simply for having a difference of opinion, and not being bullied into silence.

 

[Schlosser85]

If your brother and uncle feel that way, then frankly it's no one's fault but theirs that the relationships have been cut off.

I understand it's probably hard for you, but you have nothing be ashamed of.

 

[Paradoxium]

If you take on one of the traditional mainstream liberal/conservative, left/right & democrat/republican type of schitick you going to chafe. As your position gets more complex the less likely people want to get into it. I have a number of hardcore communist friends and I don't ever have problems with them.

I seem to aggravate some libertarians since I am sympathetic with a lot of their views, simultaneously do not support it.

I am pro distributed-republic-sovcorp.

 

[Matt Mortem]

My entire family is die hard right wing nutjobs. Rednecks all around. I'm what you might call a democratic socialist. I'm definetly leaning to the right. It causes massive problems in my family because they all get their political news and ideas from FOX news and forwarded e-mails with no sources whatsoever. We have a rule in my family that politics are never to be discussed. It's too dangerous

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

Well I've yet to hear anything from my brother. I've decided that it's on him to get in contact with me. I feel I've done nothing wrong.

For the past 2 and a half years that I have lived here, I have attended my brother's church with him, despite the fact that he knows that I don't believe in Christian doctrine. With him knowing how I feel about Christianity, and my disagreement with it, it was still to his church where he took me for my birthday of all days. But I did it because being with my family and loved ones on my birthday was more important than getting pissy about my lack of belief in the Christian religion. I've dealt with his family doing nothing but bash Obama and Liberals, despite the fact that they know that I am a Liberal that voted for Obama. I've listened to his aunt lecture me about how I am going to hell because I'm not a Christian, and I don't have that "relationship" with God and Jesus. His wife gave me a lecture implying that I have no sets of beliefs or values because I'm not Christian, and gave me a speech about "false Gods" and how she knows she's right and everyone else is wrong. And yet anytime I ever open my mouth to express an opinion that I have, he quiets me and doesn't let me express myself, or automatically discredits me by assuming I have no clue what I am talking about (in regards to the mosque issue, he wouldn't believe me when I tried to tell him that I researched every piece of evidence I could find on the issue, as well as reading ACTUAL passages from the ACTUAL Qu'ran to try to better understand what the controversial passages were actually teaching)

These people who are mad at me for what I would assume to be expressing my opinion in a rather hostile way have done the same exact thing to me. Over the summer, I worked with my brother's wife at his aunt and uncle's house, painting for them and doing an entire interior remodel. I'd have to listen to them talk all day every day badmouthing Obama and Liberals, right there in front of my face, and not once did I try to get involved in the conversation, or to argue with them, or tell them they were wrong. Despite my adamant disagreement with their views, the familial relationships were more important to me than being "right", so I held my tongue. But the one time I do it, on my own personal FACEBOOK of all things without making any personal attacks on anyone, they decide to get pissy. So whatever. It's on them now, I'm not gonna feel bad about what happened.

 

[shadowforce420]

I have religious friends and familly and I'm agnostic and it never comes up. One of my best friends is a far right Christian conservative and we never even argue, then again we both think most of the people in office are out for money so that helps.

 

[StorminNorman]

My father was the GOP's National Communication Director in the 70's after Watergate (which he had to testify at). He first got into politics during the 60's during the Goldwater campaign that inspired an entire generation of Republicans. He became one of the Party's leading campaign consultants, wrote much of the Parties campaign literature and ran the party's "campaign college".

He has personal relationships with the likes of Karl Rove, Newt Gingrich and Hayley Barbour and is the media director for Congressman Spencer Bachus. Politically he is a "neoconservative" to the right of Gingrich, probably more along the lines of Rove.

My mother was the first female fieldman for the Florida Republican Party. She is what I would describe as a "Walt Disney Conservative".

I'm a Classical Liberal/Classical American Conservative (they are the same thing!) and even more accurately a Constitutionalist. We disagree often, but are generally on the same page. Especially when it comes to Obama these days.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

I'm a Classical Liberal/Classical American Conservative (they are the same thing!) and even more accurately a Constitutionalist. We disagree often, but are generally on the same page. Especially when it comes to Obama these days.

I have to say, I rather have a problem with that term (not your use of it, just the term in general).

I am a Liberal, a registered Democrat, and am as such because of my belief in the United States Constitution. However, because of my political leaning toward the left, and my vote of Obama, I am called nothing more than a Socialist. Because of my political leaning I am accused of not caring about the Constitution, when it is because of the Constitution that I have come to my political philosophy.

I have a problem with one group claiming they are more "constitutional" than another.

 

[StorminNorman]

You can't be in favor of a strict interpretation of the Constitution and the Obama administration.

(You can't be a fan of the Constitution and be a huge supporter of either political party either).

 

[StorminNorman]

When I say I am a Constitutionalist, I mean hardcore too. I support the State Legislature electing Senators. I support Congress not being able to fund Education until their a Constitutional amendment saying they have that option (an amendment I support). I believe Social Security, Medicare, and Welfare should be eliminated because there is no Constitutional grounding for such programs. Etc.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

When I say I am a Constitutionalist, I mean hardcore too. I support the State Legislature electing Senators. I support Congress not being able to fund Education until their a Constitutional amendment saying they have that option (an amendment I support). I believe Social Security, Medicare, and Welfare should be eliminated because there is no Constitutional grounding for such programs. Etc.

Except the part that says "promote the general Welfare"

Now, obviously "Welfare" doesn't literally mean Welfare, but it does mean the general well being of the citizenry.

That is also the part of the Constitution that gives federal government the right to fund education as well.