Rocket Raccoon facts

Cool list. I tittered more than once.

Oh an btw, Wolverine wept uncontrollably because Squirrel Girl rejected him in favor of Rocket. That's what I heard anyway.

 

Number 10 is my favorite. I am looknig forward to this list growing.

 

11) Rocket Raccoon checked into his room, only to find Gideon's Bible.

 

I'm sorry, I don't know if I'll be able to get onboard with the racoon. When I was young and read the Guardians if the G., it was Martinex, Charlie 27, Yondu and that bunch. And I liked 'em ok. I remember Drax from somewhere or the other back then. And I remember Moondragon and Mantis (grass skirt) from their days as active Avengers. I know I've missed alot since I stopped 'actively' reading comics on a regular basis, but I can't see Rocket Racoon being the big draw here. Seems goofy to me. Maybe I'm just gettin old.

 

I don't know a whole lot about the Guardians, but from what I do know I think the big draw for Rocket Raccoon is the fact that he, as a character concept, is just so absurd.

I mean, you take this little animal and you stick a howitzer on his arm...it's just kind of silly.

 

22) Rocket Raccoon does not always drink beer, but when he does, he drinks the fermented blood of the Heralds of Galactus.

 

23) Rocket Raccoon Successfully ordered a Big Mac from Burger King

 

wince. Hate this one man

 

Rocket's **** is so big, there was once a movie called Godzilla vs. Rocket Raccoon's ****.

jaqua I liked that one.

 

24.) Rocket Raccoon has gotten Galactus into an armlock....10 times
25.) Adolf Hitler committed suicide because he knew Rocket Raccoon was coming for him

 

26.) After a few too many beers, Rocket Raccoon stumbled into a star, unscathed. This phenomenon is now known as a "Super Nova Explosion"

27.) Rocket Raccoon had an affair with a frilled lizard The off springs were known as "Gremlins"

 

28.) To mankind's amazement, Rocket Raccoon once visited Earth. Tales were written of this visit. These tales were titled, The Holy Bible
29.) Look at your girlfriend/wife, don't get angry, but Rocket Raccoon got it in before you did.

 

Rocket Racoon once took a piss into the engine of a broken down truck.....that truck is now known to many as Optimus Prime

 

36) Rocket Racoon can kill one stone with two birds.

37) Rocket Racoon once visited a lab in New York and callously spit on the floor. That's how the Super Soldier Serum was created.

38) "Rocket" is actually Rocket Racoon's real first name. The engine was named after him.

39) They keep having to reboot the DC universe because Rocket Racoon visits every 10 years and kicks everyone's ass.

 

45) Rocket Racoon sat down in an editing booth and re-cut the Green Lantern movie. It went on to win 12 Oscars, 5 Golden Globes and, somehow, a Tony Award.

 

46) The only reason the Internet exists is so that there would be a safe place for humans to read the Rocket Raccoon facts thread. The sight of any printed copy would burn our eyes with a fire 1000 times hotter than the hottest star, instantly destroying a third of the Milky Way Galaxy.

 

Both of these had me in tears