Week 13 Recap
In the games that matter...
The Pickled Peppers Gets Victory Rim Job from HawkPride, Goes to 2-0 Against Them
What's more likey to happen: Marvin Lewis getting fired or HawkPride beating The Pickled Peppers? HawkPride is winless this season versus The Pickled Peppers, this time losing by a final score of 68.83 to 48.50. David Johnson was the winning factor, garnering 24.95 points for The Pickled Peppers. The last time these teams met, the New York Giants Defense led with 30.26. On top of the loss, as HawkPride had a starter score zero points (Terrelle Pryor Sr.). This is the tightest win for The Pickled Peppers in two head-to-head matchups. They defeated HawkPride 123.30 to 79.82 in Week 7.
The Incredible Hulks Meat Beats The Butterflies to Grab 10th Place
The Incredible Hulks benefited from the second-highest player score of the week from Andrew Luck with 33.16 and beat The Butterflies 113.39 to 83.73. This win served The Butterflies a cold dish of revenge after they won a Week 7 matchup, 74.58 to 60.85. For The Butterflies, LeGarrette Blount and Ted Ginn Jr. played the roles of Maverick and Goose, scoring 19.80 and 16.10 points, respectively. The Incredible Hulks (6-7, 1,064.58 points) climbs into 10th place while The Butterflies (sixth place, 7-6, 1,018.53 points) earns a playoff berth despite the loss.
Heavily-Armed Lemurs Comes in Behind on Coastal Camel Toes, Makes It Three in a Row
Heavily-Armed Lemurs earned their third win in as many matchups and clinched a playoff spot when they defeated Coastal Camel Toes 84.41 to 75.16 in a Monday night comeback. They were led by LeSean McCoy with 23.05 points and the Green Bay Packers Defense who had 20.22. Going streaking usually draws attention to yourself, but not in positive way. Not in this case. Since starting their win streak in Week 11, Heavily-Armed Lemurs has moved from 10th place to fourth. It could have gone the other way, Coastal Camel Toes had two starters score zero points (Marvin Jones Jr. and Torrey Smith). Coastal Camel Toes slides to ninth place with a 6-7 record. Heavily-Armed Lemurs has recently steamrolled The Incredible Hulks (89.92 to 72.69) and HawkPride (106.78 to 57.75).
Latverian Locos Splooges All Over Deadcruisers, Notches Fourth in a Row
What's more likey to happen: the Browns winning a game or Deadcruisers beating Latverian Locos? Deadcruisers is winless this season versus Latverian Locos, this time losing by a final score of 63.25 to 54.98. Deadcruisers is still a tough matchup for Latverian Locos, who has an average margin of victory of 6.78 points when they play. That's much smaller than their 24.65-point average margin of victory for the season. This week, Kirk Cousins was the reason for the win, putting up 16.42 points. It was still quite a drop-off from the 22.85 points Jacquizz Rodgers got the last time these teams played. Latverian Locos is averaging 72.63 points against Deadcruisers and beat them 82.01 to 76.73 in Week 7.
The HH Jabronis Anal Squirts on The Hobbit Brigade, Claims Eighth Place
The HH Jabronis left it all on the field in this one and got the second-highest point total this week, annihilating The Hobbit Brigade 113.78 to 66.95. This win served The Hobbit Brigade a cold dish of revenge after they won a Week 7 matchup, 136.44 to 118.61. For The Hobbit Brigade, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers Defense and Tyrell Williams played the roles of Maverick and Goose, scoring 14.42 and 13.35 points, respectively. When assigning blame following this loss, The Hobbit Brigade can look in the mirror. They started a player with zero points (Marquess Wilson). The HH Jabronis (6-7, 1,165.57 points) climbs into eighth place. The Hobbit Brigade, despite the loss, clinches a playoff spot this week (fifth place, 7-6, 1,068.71 points).
And in the games that didn't matter as much haha...
Regulators Facial Blasts W'sOrNothing, Moves Up to 13th Place
W'sOrNothing put up a bush-league effort in this one, getting annihilated by Regulators 115.14 to 23.53, making it two blowouts in as many matchups. These two teams have been about as close as Michael Crabtree and Richard Sherman. Regulators has beaten W'sOrNothing by an average margin of 77.25 points this season. Thomas Rawls led the team, grabbing 30.20 points for Regulators. The last time these teams met, the Baltimore Ravens Defense led with 24.18. To make matters worse, W'sOrNothing got zero points from Jordan Matthews. Regulators beat W'sOrNothing 85.01 to 22.11 in Week 7 and now averages 100.08 points against them.
New York Spiders Creampies SF's Backstabbers to Capture Seventh Place
Hey, do they give trophies for effort? Nope, well then SF's Backstabbers won't be receiving a trophy for their performance against New York Spiders this season, losing yet again, 75.27 to 66.79. This week, Matthew Stafford was the difference, garnering 28.02 points. That's a bit of a drop-off from Jay Ajayi, who led all players with 34.50 points the last time these teams met. Both teams left points off the scoreboard, as New York Spiders had one starter turn in zero points and SF's Backstabbers had three. This is the closest win for New York Spiders in two head-to-head matchups. They beat SF's Backstabbers 115.74 to 71.16 in Week 7.
House Hush Butt Plugs Matt's Man-Spiders, Moves Up to 12th Place
House Hush benefited from the third-highest player point total of the week from Jordan Howard (31.70) to get the win over Matt's Man-Spiders 71.06 to 55.70. A win is a win, but this one tastes just a bit sweeter for House Hush who gets revenge for an 84.64 to 45.99 shellacking by Matt's Man-Spiders in Week 7. Matt's Man-Spiders, coming off an 87.04 to 65.29 win against Deadcruisers, saw their scoring drop off this week. House Hush showed some mercy in the win, starting a player with zero points (Derrick Henry). House Hush (6-7, 954.43 points) climbs into 12th place and Matt's Man-Spiders (10-3, 1,034.29 points) stays in first place.
WEEK 13 FINAL STANDINGS
Teams in BOLD are in a playoff position
Timely Division
2. The Pickled Peppers - 9-4-0 (W1) XYZ
7. New York Spiders - 6-7-0 (W1)
14. HawkPride - 5-8-0 (L2)
16. SF's Backstabbers - 3-10-0 (L9)
National Division
3. Latverian Locos - 9-4-0 (W4) XY
11. Deadcruisers - 6-7-0 (L2)
13. W'sOrNothing - 5-8-0 (L1)
15. Regulators - 5-8-0 (W1)
Gold Key Division
4. Heavily-Armed Lemurs - 8-5-0 (W2)(W4) XY
6. The Butterflies - 7-6-0 (L1) X
9. Coastal Camel Toes - 6-7-0 (L1)
10. The Incredible Hulks - 6-7-0 (W2)
Fawcett Division
1. Matt's Man-Spiders - 10-3-0 (L1) XYZ
5. The Hobbit Brigade - 7-6-0 (L1) X
8. The HH Jabronis - 6-7-0 (W1)
12. House Hush - 6-7-0 (W1)
X = Clinched Play Off Position.
Y = Clinched Division.
Z = Clinched Bye
