Social Life: need/want/ehhh... nah

[knowsbleed]

I am surrounded by people every day. I am far from alone, yet I don't know if I need or even want to be surrounded by people.

For a long time I spent every hour of my life around at least one person. Then I recently became single again and discovered the luxury/torture of having alone time... LOTS of alone time. It was something I got used to, save for the occasional getting dragged out of my apartment by my casual friends whose sole purpose was to see who could inflict the most damage to whose liver in the shortest amount of time.

I got used to it... and it was actually kind of nice.

Now I have always had pride in the fact that I don't need people. I didn't think I needed friends, though I am far from a social outcast. I am perfectly fine in social situations and love being in them when I am in them. But when I am not... I do not feel the need to be social. I cherish my alone time... quiet is good.

Recently though, I have met a new group of friends whom I really love spending time with. They are intelligent, funny and are willing to do something different at each gathering, favoring new experiences each time vs the same ol' same ol'. It has become addicting... and now I feel pangs when I am not with them.

I don't think I like this feeling.



As for everyone else here... what say you about having a social life? Something you need? Something you want but do not have? Something you feel neutral about?

Myself... right now I think I am torn between having new experiences with these people and the way my life used to be where I was satisfied with my private/alone time.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

I think that a social life is a very important thing to have, and I wish I had a bit more of one.

When I lived back home in California, it was great, because I had my 2 best friends who I could hang out with whenever I wanted, we had a lot of nerd stuff in common, so we'd watch nerd movies and play nerd games all the time.

Then I had my friend Karina and her fiance, who I didn't have much nerd stuff in common with, but I'd always hang out with her and go to bars, clubs, lunch, dinner, whatever with.

It was great, I had lots of good friends, and had a very active and healthy social life. But then one of my 2 best friends moved away for college, going to Indiana, and things went real bad real quick with Karina to the point that we weren't friends anymore. So I still had one friend left, but he never wanted to do anything by this point anymore anyways because of his girlfriend.

So I ended up moving out here to Tennesse (for reasons outside of a diminishing social circle), and I made a couple friends, but nobody who I really pick up to hang out with. I have a couple friends who sometimes I'll go out to a club with or something, but I haven't really made many connections with anybody out here. So my social life right now is very minimal, so all I do in my spare time is sit around the apartment playing X-Box and going on the internet.

It does kind of suck that I am 26, and most everyone out here is between the ages of 18-21, and all they want to do is party and drink. I'm cool with that, but I went through that phase already, and I'm past it, and I'd rather do other things than just drinking all the time. Which makes having a social life rather difficult when all anyone ever wants to do is stuff that I feel I've outgrown.

 

[Paroxysm]

I'm a social ****e. I need to be active. I'm always out with my friends doing whatever.

 

[Hobgoblin]

I'm with Nell and knowsbleed. I work customer service and by the end of the night, I'm done with people. I go right to my computer and check my e-mail, check the Hype and youtube. I chat briefly with my father but thats about it. I dont even want to be bothered by the cat.

College was horrible for me because people were always around and being obnoxious.

 

[Speedball]

I am surrounded by people every day. I am far from alone, yet I don't know if I need or even want to be surrounded by people.

For a long time I spent every hour of my life around at least one person. Then I recently became single again and discovered the luxury/torture of having alone time... LOTS of alone time. It was something I got used to, save for the occasional getting dragged out of my apartment by my casual friends whose sole purpose was to see who could inflict the most damage to whose liver in the shortest amount of time.

I got used to it... and it was actually kind of nice.

Now I have always had pride in the fact that I don't need people. I didn't think I needed friends, though I am far from a social outcast. I am perfectly fine in social situations and love being in them when I am in them. But when I am not... I do not feel the need to be social. I cherish my alone time... quiet is good.

Recently though, I have met a new group of friends whom I really love spending time with. They are intelligent, funny and are willing to do something different at each gathering, favoring new experiences each time vs the same ol' same ol'. It has become addicting... and now I feel pangs when I am not with them.

I don't think I like this feeling.



As for everyone else here... what say you about having a social life? Something you need? Something you want but do not have? Something you feel neutral about?

Myself... right now I think I am torn between having new experiences with these people and the way my life used to be where I was satisfied with my private/alone time.

I'm in a period where I'm always alone right now... I've gotten used to it, which sucks, but whatever. This all started after I got dumped about 5 months ago. I have friends, but never spend any time with them because they're always busy now. I'm in my own little world right now, and I know people are going to want to hang out, but now I'm not sure I want to anymore after the way I've been ignored. I'm used to my routine of going to class, working out at the gym, then go home and watch TV or play video games.

 

[BillyZaned]

For me... I'm strange.... when I don't hand with people, I feel like I want to....

But when I make plans, or am about to do something with someone socialy, I kind of dread it.....

 

[VenomVsSpidey]

meh, It depends. I value my "alone time" very passionately.

But if I want to be around people, you can bet I'll hangout with them.

 

[knowsbleed]

So I ended up moving out here to Tennesse (for reasons outside of a diminishing social circle), and I made a couple friends, but nobody who I really pick up to hang out with. I have a couple friends who sometimes I'll go out to a club with or something, but I haven't really made many connections with anybody out here. So my social life right now is very minimal, so all I do in my spare time is sit around the apartment playing X-Box and going on the internet.

It does kind of suck that I am 26, and most everyone out here is between the ages of 18-21, and all they want to do is party and drink. I'm cool with that, but I went through that phase already, and I'm past it, and I'd rather do other things than just drinking all the time. Which makes having a social life rather difficult when all anyone ever wants to do is stuff that I feel I've outgrown.

I have also been stuck with a crowd of younger people who do the same things over and over again, every weekend. Drink, party, drink, party, drink, *infinite*. Frustrating, I want to have more memories than ones that are fuzzy and difficult to remember due to the room spinning.

I'm in a period where I'm always alone right now... I've gotten used to it, which sucks, but whatever. This all started after I got dumped about 5 months ago. I have friends, but never spend any time with them because they're always busy now. I'm in my own little world right now, and I know people are going to want to hang out, but now I'm not sure I want to anymore after the way I've been ignored. I'm used to my routine of going to class, working out at the gym, then go home and watch TV or play video games.

That is what I do too... build a routine that I get used to and very comfortable with. Having a social life disrupts that, but I can't decide what I'd rather have. I'm hoping I'll find a good balance of both.

For me... I'm strange.... when I don't hand with people, I feel like I want to....

But when I make plans, or am about to do something with someone socialy, I kind of dread it.....

I am the same way... sort of... sometimes. I am a very "out of sight, out of mind" person. The first day I do not see my friends, sucks. Then after a few more days to a week... I am just fine again and do not really need to see them until they "force" me to hang out with them again. Then when the time comes to actually socialize with them again... I think about cancelling just so that I could stick to the routine I built up while I wasn't around them.

But that never happens because I'm a sucker for peer pressure.

 

[Aesop Rocks]

Personally, I've gotten a lot of crap from my friends for not really wanting to go out and "kick it" but, I'm also the oldest of the group, they're all 18+ but I'm still the oldest. I mean, I like hanging out but I don't want to get used to the idea of always having to hang out. I like my alone time, sure I guess I'm a "bum" because of it but frankly, I don't care, I'm happy.

 

[AndThePickles]

I'm alone entirely too much, and I hate it.

 

[Addendum]

I never bothered keeping up with the friends I had in grade school, high school, or college. With my co-workers, I'm content being around them on the clock. As for the people here in town, I've never wanted to get to know them. Hell, I don't even know who my neighbors are in my apartment since I keep my TV at a reasonable volume: I can hear it fine when I'm on my sofa, but it's impossible to hear in the hallway with a closed door. Let alone in my kitchen.

 

[knowsbleed]

I'm alone entirely too much, and I hate it.

^ A complete and utter shame. You must change this... and soon.

 

[Aesop Rocks]

I'm alone entirely too much, and I hate it.

Well, you got Spoons, that should help some.

 

[AndThePickles]

Well, you got Spoons, that should help some.

I only get to see him every other weekend, at most. We're long distance, and I have to work e/o weekend.

And all of my good friends from college are long distance, too. My old high school friends moved away to different states. And my coworkers are either way older than I am, or married and never want to hang out as a result. The one time I was gonna hang out with my coworker who's only a couple of years older than me, she canceled on me to hang out with her husband Even a coworker who is younger than I am is married and won't go out.

 

[Bruce Banner]

I've basically accepted my status. Its actually more along the lines of grudgingly coming to terms with myself. And accepting the loner status I have created.

Its kinda hard to re-emerse myself into certain areas in my life. When it comes to anything remotely fresh. I have the usual people I hang out with. Other than that I can only redo so much of what they do. Which is drink and party. I need something other than that.

I used to value my alone time and my single status. My appreciation for these things has worn off. But I'm not exactly entirely worried nor am I trying to go out and meet people.

 

[Aesop Rocks]

I'm sorry to hear that Pickles, I didn't know that.

 

[knowsbleed]

Conflict...


So, tomorrow is Friday and I have 3 options:

1. Hang out with old group of friends; drink and karaoke.
2. Hang out with new group of friends, no solid plans but most likely something we've never done before as with this group of friends it's always a new experience. Face repercussions from old group of friends.
3. Stay at home, order pizza and wrap my mind around the wonders of solitude.

Resolution?

 

[Eggyman]

Only you can pick between the first two, but I'd save choice 3 for when options 1 and 2 are unavailable.

 

[Eggyman]

As for everyone else here... what say you about having a social life? Something you need? Something you want but do not have? Something you feel neutral about?

I'm very sociable, but I'm not very loyal with whom I'm sociable with. Aloof is probably the right word. I don't like making plans - I go where I go. I have a lot of friends but it can sometimes be months where they don't see me. They don't mind... they know it's just how I work. Then one day I'll just pop up and have a good time with them. I make friends quite easily so sometimes find that I spread myself thin trying to see them all.

I like having a social life, but I don't like being expected to have one.

 

[AndThePickles]

I'm sorry to hear that Pickles, I didn't know that.

It's ok, just get really lonely! And even though Spoons and I have had to be long distance since we both graduated college, I still miss him all the time. I'm a super sociable person, and this is by far the least social activity I've had in my life. Even when I was young and awkward socially, I still had a best friend to always hang out with lol. It's so frustrating that for some reason, everyone close by who isn't single seems to be incapable of hanging out with anyone who isn't their sig other. Lame-o

Conflict...


So, tomorrow is Friday and I have 3 options:

1. Hang out with old group of friends; drink and karaoke.
2. Hang out with new group of friends, no solid plans but most likely something we've never done before as with this group of friends it's always a new experience. Face repercussions from old group of friends.
3. Stay at home, order pizza and wrap my mind around the wonders of solitude.

Resolution?

From what you've told me about your old friends, I say go out with the new ones.

 

[knowsbleed]

I'm going to stay home one day, once Bamfer and CC get this Hype Skype event thingy/dealie off the ground. I predict gloriousness.



I predict Eggy and I lambasting everyone with our inebriations.

 

[C. Lee]

I was never a partier....so the idea of having to go out with a bunch of people and get drunk never was on my "to do" list. When I was younger....I could get together with friends and do things or stay at home with a good book...either one was fine with me.

 

[knowsbleed]

In all honesty, I am more comfortable in situations with fewer people. Smaller groups of friends creates a more intimate atmosphere, adding to good conversation and overall a better time, IMO. Even if that small group of people is in a crowded location, as in a bar or someplace nice like a jazz club. I am definitely not up to going to the dance clubs anymore, too much noise, too many fights and my eardrums aren't as young as they used to be.


... I haven't read a "good book" in quite a while.

 

[Paroxysm]

You all need new friends.....or at least find people who actually do stuff other than drink when they go out.

 

[Eggyman]

I'm going to stay home one day, once Bamfer and CC get this Hype Skype event thingy/dealie off the ground. I predict gloriousness.



I predict Eggy and I lambasting everyone with our inebriations.

If you tell me what it means, I will do it.