sPartan vs Ninja? sPike's DEADLIEST WARRIOR finds out...

[Ratcrawler]

http://www.spike.com/video/dealiest-warrior/3114105

Between this, Battles BC and Dark Days in Monkey City, what I call "The 300ization of Edutainment" continues...

 

[Ratcrawler]

sPoilers...

Spoiler

Apache beat Gladiator!

Gotta say, I'm pretty stoked about that although not too surprised. They were pretty much the baddest tribe on the continent.

I also like the way they determine the winner, which is basically won by percentage. They feed data into a computer to run a thousand battles and the Apache won 600 something scenarios.

Next week it's...
Viking

VS

Samurai

 

[Mister J]

I love this show. I don't always agree with the practicality of the results, but the setup and substantive information is pretty good. Getting a look at the different weaponry, tactics and brief histories of the different warrior classes is of interest.

Plus, some of those weapons can really **** you up.

Yakuza v. Mafia wasn't all that great, but Green Beret v. Spetnaz looks promising.

 

[X-Ray]

The Yakuza v. Mafia match up was ********. They didn't take the Yakuza's martial art training into account. That alone would have beaten the Mafia's baseball bat & ice pick. And why the **** are they considered warriors !?

 

[Pink Ranger]

Testing weapons on the ballistic gel dummies was awesome. You can really imagine the splatter that a simple blade can accomplish.

I was actually surprised that the Spartan's spear actually smashed the guy's rib on the way through. Whoa!

 

[Mister J]

The Yakuza v. Mafia match up was ********. They didn't take the Yakuza's martial art training into account. That alone would have beaten the Mafia's baseball bat & ice pick. And why the **** are they considered warriors !?

That was one of the matchups I didn't particularly agree with. I think the Yakuza were too skilled and disciplined in comparison to the Goodfellas.

I guess they're willing to cite any distinct 'organization' with an established legacy as a warrior class, but it was surely a stretch. They probably thought it'd be an interest episode. Maybe we'll get Bloods v. Crips next season. t:

 

[Upset Spideyfan]

The show's entertaining but its sort of silly despite its scientific premise.

Gladiator vs Apache? Sure, in the woods, I'd give it to the Apache but by that token wouldn't the Gladiator reign supreme within an enclosed area? Not to mention the scenario they presented was fine up until the Gladiator hit him in the face with cestus... TWICE... and the Apache not only lived but recovered in a few seconds.

And what's the logic behind Ninja vs Spartan? By that thinking you might as well have Green Beret vs Pillbox.

 

[Ratcrawler]

Well, technically sPeaking, gangs have wars over territory, resources and reputation just like everybody else did. They're actually more qualified to be on this show than Gladiators or Ninjas.

It should also be pointed out that THE DRAMATIZATIONS IN THE END AREN'T REPRESENTATIVE OF HOW THESE FIGHTS PLAY OUT IN THE SIMULATOR. They're just fun, susPenseful showcases of the weaponry used in the thousand battles. So you could susPend your disbelief at an Apache surviving two Cestus slams from a Gladiator.

And regarding that Match-up, yes, a Gladiator might have the advantage over an Apache in an Arena. An Apache, on the other hand, would be at home in the forest, prarie, desert, canyon, mountain, swamp and pretty much any other natural setting. So there's not much sense in saying the Gladiator was cheated. He was lucky this Apache didn't have a 6 shooter!

 

[Ratcrawler]

Also, here's the Aftermath sPecial for Yakuza VS Mafia
http://www.spike.com/video/aftermath-yakuza-vs/3167087

 

[Mister J]

It should also be pointed out that THE DRAMATIZATIONS IN THE END AREN'T REPRESENTATIVE OF HOW THESE FIGHTS PLAY OUT IN THE SIMULATOR. They're just fun, susPenseful showcases of the weaponry used in the thousand battles.

This is key to remember. They just look at the final results and come up with a scenario that might be visually entertaining It's not meant to be a exact representation. There might have been a result where the Apache kicked the Gladiator in his package, chopped his leg off and then slit his throat, all in under 30 seconds, but it would have been rather boring to watch.

 

[Yurka]

This is a sweet show but I don't agree with half of the outcomes. I think next week is Green Beret vs. Spetsnaz, I'll go with Spetsnaz.

 

[El_Citrus]

I really like this show, but I think that they could have done some better matchups. Pirate vs Ninja! It's sitting right there! Then have Knight vs Spartan, or rework it with Viking vs Spartan and Knight vs Samauri. It looks like they dumped their whole budget into the science equipment since the fight scenes are worse than tv budget. I hope they allow for different matchups in the future.

 

[Ratcrawler]

Yup. And after that, it'll be Shaolin Monks VS Maori and (possible season finale) Braveheart VS Shaka Zulu.

I think they should do a Mash-Up sPecial. Preferably ones where the previous losers win, even if that WOULD seem forced. Same weapons, so we wouldn't have to retest everything. A quick overview of the arsenals, dramatization, explanation for the turnout as shown on program, commercial, repeat.

Ninja VS Pirate
Because this is the one EVERYBODY on the internets wanted to see.

Knight VS Samurai

Viking VS sPartan

sPetznaz & Green Beret VS Yakuza & Mafia Or just mash that up as necessary.

 

[Bad Superman]

Awesome show. I loved how in the Pirate VS Knight

Spoiler

The Pirate's win was funny.

Would love to see:

-Ninja VS. Samurai
-Knight VS. Spartan
-Gladiator VS. Viking

 

[AxlsAppetite]

I didn't like how that one Green Beret acted like a sore loser. Accept defeat and move one.

The Saiga Shotgun and Ballistic Knife were killer. Didn't like that giant shovel thing. The green beret had that dead-on aim though(Sniper), that was awesome.

 

[Pink Ranger]

I didn't like how that one Green Beret acted like a sore loser. Accept defeat and move one.

The Saiga Shotgun and Ballistic Knife were killer. Didn't like that giant shovel thing. The green beret had that dead-on aim though(Sniper), that was awesome.

Doesn't matter though. British SAS would mop the floor with both of them.

 

[Mister J]

Shaolin Monk is going to whip ass tonight!

 

[Ratcrawler]

He sure did! By 69% which I believe was the biggest margin yet. I guess the clincher was that the Shoalin had 3 mid-range weapons and the Maori had two, one of which, the Stingray sPear, could have easily been been destroyed by any of them.

 

[Pink Ranger]

I knew the Shaolin would win, but really, pit a meat eater against a vegetarian and what would really happen? We've seen it before (Allosaurus versus Brontosaurus) and we know how that turns out ...

 

[Mister J]

It figured to have that much of a beating ...and I wouldn't have been surprised to see it larger. SM's speed, defense, range and hand-to-hand were just too much to overcome. The twin hooks were easily the most lethal weapon displayed; the whipchain wasn't bad either. Everything the Mauri Warrior was looking to do was close quarters-based and simply brute force. As General Zod said, "No style at all".

Next week: William Wallace v. Shaka Zulu.

 

[X-Ray]

Wallace wins. He can shoot fireballs out of his eyes and lightning bolts out of his ass.

 

[Silver Spider]

I've been watching this show since the Ninja vs. Spartan episode and I've got to say, it's a really entertaining show.
Personally I thought the biggest cheat was the Pirate vs. Knight. The pirate waould have been owned, without his "tech."

 

[Mister J]

I really didn't like that one. The pirate is bringing firepower, but both, the damn Flintlock and Blunderbuss were prone to jamming. The latter would have been more effective, but only at close range. Plus, the knight has armor and a shield ...and a couple of big ass swords/blades to an unarmored pirate (good luck with establishing a close proximity Mr. Pirate). There was even a crossbow for Jack Kirby's sake! I think the gun value was overrated, compared to the knight's protective devices.

However, I will say that the way the pirate won in the representation was entirely badass.

 

[Pink Ranger]

Next week: William Wallace v. Shaka Zulu.

Maybe next season it can be William Shatner v. Chaka Khan.

 

[cyborg ninja 14]

God, the whole show is just a circle jerk.

"Well, my fighter would totally kick that other guy ass cause I'm so awesome!"