Hey guys, I'm new here. Been roaming through the boards for a while now and finally decided to register.
There is definitely truth behind the whole bully factor though. I left high school a couple of years ago, thank god. And there were a couple of thoughts that went through my mind back then. One of them was murder. And that's something I'm not really that proud of.
I thought about bombs, I thought about guns. I just flat out thought about getting revenge.
Threatened one of my bullies once and in eighth grade I actually acted like I had this demented split-personality thing to frighten some of the guys away who were bothering me. It worked.
U see back then, as an angry loner, it felt like the whole world was against me. If I resorted to suicide, they won. U just couldn't have that. So u go to the next option that is often chosen- u take them out with u. Yeah, it's a sick way of thinking as I said above. But, it's the truth.
Middle and High School don't become home, it becomes a prison with invisible bars. U tell ur parents, they'll look at u like a freak. Can't tell the few friends u have either. Because chances are they'll tell on u. U can't tell the school or seek help from the school due to the zero tolerance policy. And the teachers who do find out how troubled u r by some kid just brush it off as no big deal. Well to some it is a big deal. Huge deal. So in this whole thing ur kind of sufering alone. Putting on a mask. So many of these parents are shocked by what they learned- this mask is the reason why.
I've looked up online to see if I could find anyone else who thought like I did back then and without looking for long I found MANY teens who had these thoughts and fantasies of revenge. Just giving them all this **** they gave u ovr the year.s - all pushed to this point due to their bullies in school. Being ridiculed on a daily basis to the point that they completely lose self-esteem and feel dead on the inside. Have any of u actually felt dead? Get to that really really dark place in which it seems like there's no escape? I did.
Once u get there, it just gets worse. U withdraw more and more likely u are to do a school shooting. All acting off what U see as being right. Being just. Justice.
Only after do u finally realize that there r others and that that was never the answer and worst choice anyone could make. But, I've been there- been to that point of thinking about it. Making things easier. Thankfully never acted to it and high school's years ago now.
I really see Eddie Brock's downward spiral in SM3 as a relative example. How he saw revenge as a reasonable ends after what Peter did to him. How after he got the suit/gun he went on a rampage and really enjoyed himself because he had the power. We've all been through our own church scene, "please God kill so and so"- only sometimes he gives a boy a gun/symbiote, and others nothing. Those who get a gun, they go and they shoot. Those who don't live in a state knowing what could have been and being happy they survived. Having these thoughts is nothing to be proud of. And these events are tragedies because EVERYONE is a victim.
But, u ask me who gives the boy that gun. It's the bully. Revenge was my prime and only motive in thinking the way I did. Same with others I found online that never did something. Same with those who did something. All stems from the simple act of revenge. One word that kills hundreds.
Guess that's all I have to say. And trust me, I'm well prepared for ur sarcastic remarks- it's not something I'm proud of, just something I went through. So go ahead and blast me away, just wanted to put my two dimes in- or something like that, I forgot... anyways...
~Peace~
- Troubled_Josh
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t: Yeah, I like how they cited that source. This is too vague about how an anime was involved.
