Stupid People Doing Stupid Things Thread

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

I think we can all agree that the majority of people on this earth are of a sound mind and generally do things to not cause ill will in the world. This thread is not for those people. This thread is for that other 1%, the people that do things so stupid you honestly can't believe they thought it was a good idea at one point.

So if you find something that has someone has done and you can't describe it in any other way than stupid or moronic please share those stories here so we can all bask in their glory and share them with our friends and co-workers.

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Wealthy Drunk Driver Offered Cops Insane Bribes Not to Arrest Him

An extremely drunk driver utterly failed in his efforts to make some New York City cops an offer they couldn't refuse.

When police discovered 35-year-old Alcides Gonzabay passed out in his still-running grey 2013 Audi with an open bottle of Captain Morgan, he was extremely forthcoming — with both a confession and a bribe.

"I took coke before I drove...I was drinking on the highway, I'm not going to lie to you," Gonzabay told officers at the scene, the complaint states.

"I was drinking tequila — a big bottle — around 12:30," said Gonzabay, who told officers that's when he started driving down from White Plains, the complaint said.
Gonzabay hit a .29 BAC, which he then countered with a $40,000 bribe, apparently telling police, "I don't want my mother to see me in a cell. Yo, real talk, I'll give you $40,000."

Unfortunately for Gonzabay's mother, he was arrested and processed at Manhattan's 24th Precinct, where, according to the complaint, he again tried to bribe his way out of trouble, this time by also asking for a favor.

"I will pay you $50,000 and expensive watches from a safe in my house if you take me home and drop off my car," he said, according to the complaint.
Gonzabay's bribes didn't get him out of jail, but they did get five extra charges tacked on to his DUI arrest.

http://www.dnainfo.com/new-york/201...ried-bribe-police-with-watches-cash-officials

Maybe he should've went with $100k? Most people forget even if they wanted to take the bribr they are being recorded on video and audio so they really have no choice but to arrest you. A for effort though!

 

[bullets]

What a goof

 

[Maximus One]

"I don't want my mother to see me in a cell. Yo, real talk, I'll give you $40,000."




This dude is ****ing legendary

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Bank Teller Laughs at One Truly Awful Robber

Recently, a man walked into China Construction Bank in Shanghai with a meat cleaver. He apparently wanted to rob the bank. Things did not go as planned. P

The man entered the bank, while talking on the phone. When he looked like he was going to pull the fire alarm, a guard supposedly shouted at him. The man then pulled the cleaver and allegedly told the teller, "This is a robbery."

The teller, safe behind glass, chuckled as the man continued to talk on the phone.P

According to Xinhuanet, police took the would-be robber into custody to question his motive and evaluate his mental faculties. They might want to examine his criminal ones, too.P

Naturally, GIFs of the amused bank teller are currently making the rounds on popular Chinese sites.

How exactly did he think that was going to work out?

 

[Monsieur Xavier]

HAHA @ The Cleaver Robber !

 

[DeadPresident]

I think we can all agree that the majority of people on this earth are of a sound mind and generally do things to not cause ill will in the world. This thread is not for those people. This thread is for that other 1%, the people that do things so stupid you honestly can't believe they thought it was a good idea at one point.

So if you find something that has someone has done and you can't describe it in any other way than stupid or moronic please share those stories here so we can all bask in their glory and share them with our friends and co-workers.

What on earth gave you that impression? I would have thought after seeing the amount of peculiar news stories you've found you'd come to the correct conclusion that essentially 95% of people on earth are intellectually handicapped.

 

[NickNitro]

All joking aside, getting hacked with a cleaver would suck soo bad

 

[Teelie]

What on earth gave you that impression? I would have thought after seeing the amount of peculiar news stories you've found you'd come to the correct conclusion that essentially 95% of people on earth are intellectually handicapped.

Selective news and bias will give you that impression. If all you ever see is criminals, everyone is a criminal. If all you ever see are sick people, everyone is sick. If everything you read is about stupid people, everyone is stupid.

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Well said Teelie. There are for more average people in the world leading average lives that never get reported on. It's just like the extremist in any religion the loudest, dumbest 1% is all people hear about.

 

[DeadPresident]

Selective news and bias will give you that impression. If all you ever see is criminals, everyone is a criminal. If all you ever see are sick people, everyone is sick. If everything you read is about stupid people, everyone is stupid.

Nice try.

 

[Teelie]

And if all you are is cynical, you'll always see cyncism.

 

[KevanG]

And if you watch the food channel you get hungry!

Am I doing it right?

 

[Teelie]

Close enough. t:

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

N.Y. Farmer Catches Alleged Cow-Lovers With Hidden Camera

Two Upstate New York men were booked on misdemeanor sexual misconduct charges last Friday after a suspicious local farmer claimed to have caught them on video trying to engage in intercourse with his dairy cows.

The farmer outside Utica "noticed his cows appeared anxious and failed to produce milk," according to an Associated Press report. "He installed video surveillance equipment to try to determine why."

What the farmer later found on that video was Michael H. Jones, 35, agreeing to record Reid A. Fontaine, 31, "as he attempted to have sexual contact with several cows."

Both men were reportedly released on their own recognizance and given a date to appear in court to answer for the charges.

It's unclear how common human sex with livestock is in the modern day. In a high-profile case last month, a 61-year-old married British man was convicted of attempting to violate a sheep and a cow in broad daylight near a sports facility used by the Tottenham Hotspur soccer team.

A picnicking couple reportedly spotted the man with his pants down, "clutching a can of Skol and a Sainsbury's bag with his clothes," thrusting his hips near the cow's mouth.

http://www.newsday.com/news/new-york/2-men-sexually-abused-cows-in-central-ny-police-say-1.7173460

This almost made it into the weird news thread but ultimately I decided it belonged here in the stupid thread. So how does one find out that you and a friend are into cow loving? What brought the 2 together? My guess is a very interesting Craigslist ad

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Applebee's Wouldn't Give This Guy Change for a Trillion-dollar Bill

After his debit card was declined at Applebee's, a man tried to pay for his solo Valentine's Day lunch with a $1 trillion bill.

But non-trillionaire Michael Williams, 53, failed to convince the staff of the Sumter, South Carolina location that he was actually the richest human being on Earth. They called the police.

Williams was booked on an unrelated contempt of court charge and ordered to pay a $262 fine, preferably using real money.

Sumter police are still investigating the incident.

http://www.wistv.com/story/24794238...bees-tab-with-trillion-dollar-bill?hpt=ju_bn1

Yes, and could I get my change in mostly million dollar bills please? Thank you t:

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Fraternity Gets Kicked Off Campus For Most Racist Dumb*** Stunt Ever

Three "19-year-old white male freshmen from Georgia" at the University of Mississippi have been expelled from their fraternity, and the frat has been suspended from campus, after the trio reportedly hung a noose and Confederate-themed flag over the statue of a black civil rights icon.

The saga started two Sundays ago, when a statue of James Meredith on the Ole Miss campus was found with the noose and an old version of the Georgia state flag that contains the iconic Confederate battle insignia.

The racial desecration was especially poignant, given Meredith's fraught history with the university. He earned notoriety and death threats as the school's first African American student in 1962; Mississippi's segregationist governor at the time tried to prevent Meredith's enrollment, and the U.S. Department of Justice sent federal marshals to protect him as he moved onto the campus.

The three men who are suspected of leaving the noose and flag were members of Ole Miss' Sigma Phi Epsilon fraternity chapter, whose national organization promptly booted them and suspended the school chapter pending further investigation. Law enforcement agencies, including the FBI, are investigating the incident for criminal wrongdoing.

Local police say a $25,000 reward offered by the university's alumni association led to some actionable tips that helped identify the students. School disciplinary proceedings are being organized against at least two of the three men, but they stood up authorities who'd planned to meet with them last Thursday, and have told administrators through attorneys that they do not intend to cooperate with the investigation unless charges are filed.

The case is taking its toll on the university community. In the video above, a weary Daniel Jones, Ole Miss' chancellor, told CNN: "You have systemic racism in our country. We have it in this state, and we have it in this university—much less so than in years past, but there's systemic racism everywhere in the world. I wish that it weren't so."

http://thedmonline.com/three-studen...stigation-of-james-meredith-statue-vandalism/

What purpose does racism even serve anymore? This idiots got there entire Frat booted and for what?

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Teen Accidentally Swallows Blowdart While Attempting YouTube Dare

Three hospital visits and one blowdart-removed-from-his-throat later, a teenager finally learned the valuable lesson that accepting YouTube challenges is not always the best idea.

Last week, 15-year-old Shawn Stillinger of Charleston, South Carolina tried a YouTube experiment that requires shooting a blowdart at a tree. It, uh, didn't go so well.

"I tilted it up to shoot it out at a tree and it fell back out of the straw that I had it in," he told Live 5 News. "And, it went into my throat."

Witnesses feared the worst. "One of the ladies told me they were going to have to cut my throat open," said Stillinger.

After two hospitals failed to remove the dart from his windpipe, Stillenger feared it might be stuck forever. Finally, a doctor at a third hospital performed a successful operation.

"We could access his airway and operate on his airway endoscopically all through his mouth," said Dr. David Gudis, before adding the obvious: "People can die from this. People can die from airway foreign bodies."

Tara Chavis, Stillinger's mother, was thankful, if a bit angry, when she finally saw her son.

"I hugged him when I got to where he was," said Chavis. "Then, I probably would have liked to have like 5 minutes in private with him. Maybe Dr. Gudis wouldn't have had to do the job, because I might would have shaken it out of him."

http://www.live5news.com/story/24785751/sc-boy-swallows-blowdart-after-accepting-youtube-challenge

Darwin award narrowly averted

 

[KevanG]

So cow ****ers, idiotic fraud and ****head racists. Maybe they should all get together and move to alabama.

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Blind Florida Man Gets Guns Back After Shooting Friend to Death

Even though the he said he didn't want to do it, a judge in Seminole County, Florida, was forced to return a Glock pistol and a rifle to a blind man who won immunity for killing another man under the state's "stand your ground" law.

The surreal hearing took place in the Seminole County Courthouse in Sanford—the city where Trayvon Martin was killed and his shooter set free under the same self-defense statute.

John Wayne Rogers had stood accused of premeditated first degree murder for shooting a "drinking buddy" in March 2012 "after a long drinking session," according to the Orlando Sentinel. The killing was done "once in the chest with a .308 Remington assault rifle from a distance of 18 inches or less."

But amid differing eyewitness accounts at his trial last month, a judge dismissed the jury and awarded Rogers immunity under Florida's "stand your ground" law.

That led to Thursday's hearing, in which Judge John Galluzo reluctantly admitted he'd have to give Rogers his rifle and a Glock 10 mm handgun. "I have to return property that was taken under the circumstance," the judge said. "I have researched and haven't found case law to say otherwise."

Rogers—who has done probation for firing 15 rounds at a cousin and was jailed for pushing and punching a woman in a domestic disturbance three years ago—will have to buy new ammunition, however, since the state considered his cache "too old and dangerous."

In the interview above, when asked why a blind man should be armed, Rogers tells WESH-TV: "It's my constitutional right." He later adds, "I have been through enough, and I would like to retire."

http://www.wesh.com/news/central-fl...hooting-gets-guns-back/24587960#ixzz2uH29qfNc

Ahh good old FL, nice to know we have armed blind men that can stand their ground. Wouldn't be 'Merica if we didn't let the blind men have their guns

 

[Duran Man]

N.Y. Farmer Catches Alleged Cow-Lovers With Hidden Camera

Two Upstate New York men were booked on misdemeanor sexual misconduct charges last Friday after a suspicious local farmer claimed to have caught them on video trying to engage in intercourse with his dairy cows.

The farmer outside Utica "noticed his cows appeared anxious and failed to produce milk," according to an Associated Press report. "He installed video surveillance equipment to try to determine why."

What the farmer later found on that video was Michael H. Jones, 35, agreeing to record Reid A. Fontaine, 31, "as he attempted to have sexual contact with several cows."

Both men were reportedly released on their own recognizance and given a date to appear in court to answer for the charges.

It's unclear how common human sex with livestock is in the modern day. In a high-profile case last month, a 61-year-old married British man was convicted of attempting to violate a sheep and a cow in broad daylight near a sports facility used by the Tottenham Hotspur soccer team.

A picnicking couple reportedly spotted the man with his pants down, "clutching a can of Skol and a Sainsbury's bag with his clothes," thrusting his hips near the cow's mouth.

http://www.newsday.com/news/new-york/2-men-sexually-abused-cows-in-central-ny-police-say-1.7173460

This almost made it into the weird news thread but ultimately I decided it belonged here in the stupid thread. So how does one find out that you and a friend are into cow loving? What brought the 2 together? My guess is a very interesting Craigslist ad

This is something no one could cow me into.

 

[KevanG]

I think the blind man should get a gun. Preferably a shotgun so he wouldn;t miss anyone who might be in the area.

 

[Ant-manic]

Fraternity Gets Kicked Off Campus For Most Racist Dumb*** Stunt Ever



What purpose does racism even serve anymore? This idiots got there entire Frat booted and for what?

it's a handy intelligence test

 

[Motown Marvel]

Well, there's one less...

Man Shoots Himself In The Head While Demonstrating Gun Safety

INDEPENDENCE TOWNSHIP (WWJ) – The Oakland County Sheriff’s Office is investigating what appears to be a self-inflicted shooting death in Independence Township.

It happened Sunday night at a home in the 4400 block of Pinedale.
The victim’s live-in girlfriend told deputies that her 36-year-old boyfriend had been demonstrating the safety of his three handguns by holding them to his head and pulling the trigger.

The third gun fired and he was struck in the head.
The victim was pronounced dead at the scene. His name was not immediately released.

Three children were also in the house at the time of the shooting, but sheriff’s officials say none of them were injured or witnessed the shooting. Authorizes said the kids were not the victims’ biological children.
An autopsy will be performed by the Oakland County Medical Examiner as an investigation continues. The girlfriend said the victim had been drinking most of the day, and sheriff’s officials said alcohol appears to have been a factor in the shooting.

 

[KevanG]

Guns don't kill people, people kill people. *sigh*