The 25 Days of Christmas - 2022 Edition

[DarthSkywalker]

Day 19

26. Beauty and the Beast

Mini Candy Cane Review: Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme, Disney's best movie!

5 servings of the gray stuff out of 5

27. Silent Night Deadly Night 2

Mini Candy Cane Review: Is there a better compliment to a film then saying I think of it every time I take out the trash?

5 garbage days out of 5

28. Christmas Bloody Christmas (NEW)

Mini Candy Cane Review: For the first 20, this was solid. Not great, but solid, with fun dialogue and actual characters. And then the killing started and it literally turns into neon, loud music, and screaming to the very end. So disappointing.

2 unending screams out of 5

 

[Ninjablade]

That was your first mistake.

Actually it was my second mistake. The first one was watching it the first time

26. Beauty and the Beast

Disney's best movie!

Damn straight.

 

[DarthSkywalker]

Damn straight.

My mom passed this year. It was far and away her favorite. We must've watched it 100 times when I was growing up. Never gets old.

 

[Ninjablade]

My mom passed this year. It was far and away her favorite. We must've watched it 100 times when I was growing up. Never gets old.

My condolences, Darth. Similarly it's a movie that shares a very special place in my relationship with my own mother. Something about it is particularly special.

 

[DarthSkywalker]

My condolences, Darth. Similarly it's a movie that shares a very special place in my relationship with my own mother. Something about it is particularly special.

Awesome moms love the best movies.

 

[Mani-Man]

I sadly lost my Marathon mojo when i got the flu a few days ago.
Now im Not Finding the spark again for the Marathon.

Got through almost 20 days, which i didnt expect in the beginning.
Maybe in the last 2 days or so i will go back to the Marathon, its when the anticipation is at the highest, we will See.

 

[Batgirl0202]

Chateau Christmas (2020) - Hallmark
Ben Is Back (2018) - Takes place on Christmas Eve so I'm including it
Noelle (2019) - Disney Plus Original
Home Alone 3 (1997)
Falling for Christmas (2022) - Netflix Original
Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special (2022) - Disney Plus Original
A Christmas Proposal (2021) - CBS Original
Home Sweet Home Alone (2021) - Disney Plus Original
Let It Snow (2019) - Netflix Original
The Noel Diary (2022) - Netflix Original
A Cinderella Story: Christmas Wish (2019)
A Castle for Christmas (2021) - Netflix Original
A Christmas Story Christmas (2022) - HBO Max Original
My Christmas Inn (2018) - Lifetime

Oddly enough, this is only my third such Christmas TV Movie viewing this season. I usually watch several of these each year...

I guess I'm getting weary of the formula, and this one sadly was no different. Successful city career woman inherits a charming inn and travels to small-town Alaska to get it ready for sale.

Will she meet a hunky bachelor who has somehow remained single into his 30's and decide to abandon her career so she can settle down in domestic small-town bliss, while discovering that the most important things in life don't revolve around money, career, and material pursuit?

You'll never guess the ending...

One positive about the film is that it portrays a budding interracial relationship in a nonchalant, matter-of fact way. That's progress, I suppose...

 

[DarthSkywalker]

Day 20

29. The Nutcracker and the Four Realms

Mini Candy Cane Review: No need to beat around the open fire here. We all know why I watch this every year. My eternal love for ballet.

2.5 terrible Sugar Plum Puns out of 5

30. Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (NEW)

Mini Candy Cane Review: I honestly don't know what to say about this. My suggestion, watch it, unspoiled.

3 I'm not telling out of 5

31. Better Watch Out

Mini Candy Cane Review: What happens when Elvis' child bride has to babysit the Peter Pan from the most racist adaptation? A Christmas banger, that's what!

4.5 MFK with Adventure Time characters out of 5

 

[DarthSkywalker]

Fell a little behind, but a poorly timed sickness allowed me to get caught up.

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me... seven multiversal travelers, six galactic guardians, five cute anthologies, and four ghostly visits.

Spider-Man: No Way Home

I love this movie. I know it has major issues, but I still don't think it gets enough credit for the things it does incredibly well. Seeing all these characters again acting like they should, but in new context just brings so much joy to me.

The Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special

I tried to give this another shot because I wanted to like it. There's some really neat and touching things on paper, but goddamn is the execution just so unfunny and mean spirited. It's Gunn at his worst, and just brings the whole thing down.

Mickey's Twice Upon a Christmas

A holiday special that does tug at the heartstrings with its cuteness. All mini stories are great, and really get you into the giving spirit. Hadn't seen in since I was a child, and I still greatly enjoyed it. Donald's anthology stuck out the most as someone who also gets annoyed by hearing the same Christmas song on repeat this time of year

The Muppet Christmas Carol

I mean, it's the Muppets. If you don't like this, you don't have a soul. It's my favorite adaptation of the story. Puppeteering is something that will never cease to impress me.

I know it's hip to crap on NWH, but I'm with you. I love it and I feel like people love to emphasis what it didn't do, as opposed to all it accomplished. I feel like this is a common theme when I disagree with others on flicks. It's about what you brought, not what others necessarily wanted.

The thing that gets me most is the attempt to position Quill as the kind, reasonable hearted one. It's just so... wrong.

 

[Batgirl0202]

Chateau Christmas (2020) - Hallmark
Ben Is Back (2018) - Takes place on Christmas Eve so I'm including it
Noelle (2019) - Disney Plus Original
Home Alone 3 (1997)
Falling for Christmas (2022) - Netflix Original
Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special (2022) - Disney Plus Original
A Christmas Proposal (2021) - CBS Original
Home Sweet Home Alone (2021) - Disney Plus Original
Let It Snow (2019) - Netflix Original
The Noel Diary (2022) - Netflix Original
A Cinderella Story: Christmas Wish (2019)
A Castle for Christmas (2021) - Netflix Original
A Christmas Story Christmas (2022) - HBO Max Original
My Christmas Inn (2018) - Lifetime
Something from Tiffany's (2022) - Amazon Prime Original

A Hallmark-worthy premise saved by some charming performances and a progressive attitude towards modern relationships...

Incidentally, several women in the film openly comment on how gorgeous lead actor Kendrick Sampson is. They're right...

We're getting down to the wire here, folks. Time to start watching some classics...

 

[DarthSkywalker]

Day 21

32. Batman Returns

Mini Candy Cane Review: Before Tim Burton was the oldest, straightest, most oblivious man in the room, he made stuff that actually put the fear of the Batgod in parents. I miss those days.

4.5 lives out of 5

33. Instant Family

Mini Candy Cane Review: More like instant classic! Dad joke was intentional, as it fits the movie to a tee. One of my great suprises during the worst of the pandemic, this one is raw, real, and all kinds of fun. Oh and Rose Byrne might be the most underrated actress of her era.

4.5 cardboard boxes for Christmas out of 5

34. Santa Bootcamp (NEW)

Mini Candy Cane Review: This was terrible. But it made my brother happy, so I guess it was worth it?

1 very obvious hint they're Mr. and Mrs. Claus out of 5

 

[Ninjablade]

On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me... the nine-branched menorah, and eight-year old Kevin Mccallister.

The Fabelmans

I honestly didn't think a single movie would be able to uh... top Top Gun: Maverick this year for my favorite movie, but then Spielberg had to hit me like an asteroid with this one. It has been a very long time since a movie has really resonated with me on such a deeply personal level. Having seen it twice in theaters, and a few times at home now, I think I might consider this Spielberg's best. I could talk about it until everyone's ears fell off.

Home Alone

I know this will ruffle some feathers, but... I do not particularly care for this movie. *ducks under cover* I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Something about it just does not click with me. I appreciate it. There's certainly a lot to enjoy, but same with Elf. I just do not get the same kind of fun out of these movies like most people do.

 

[DarthSkywalker]

On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me... the nine-branched menorah, and eight-year old Kevin Mccallister.

The Fabelmans

I honestly didn't think a single movie would be able to uh... top Top Gun: Maverick this year for my favorite movie, but then Spielberg had to hit me like an asteroid with this one. It has been a very long time since a movie has really resonated with me on such a deeply personal level. Having seen it twice in theaters, and a few times at home now, I think I might consider this Spielberg's best. I could talk about it until everyone's ears fell off.

Home Alone

I know this will ruffle some feathers, but... I do not particularly care for this movie. *ducks under cover* I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Something about it just does not click with me. I appreciate it. There's certainly a lot to enjoy, but same with Elf. I just do not get the same kind of fun out of these movies like most people do.

It's official. NB has no soul.

 

[Ninjablade]

It's official. NB has no soul.

 

[DarthSkywalker]

This moment was too real for NB:

 

[Batgirl0202]

Chateau Christmas (2020) - Hallmark
Ben Is Back (2018) - Takes place on Christmas Eve so I'm including it
Noelle (2019) - Disney Plus Original
Home Alone 3 (1997)
Falling for Christmas (2022) - Netflix Original
Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special (2022) - Disney Plus Original
A Christmas Proposal (2021) - CBS Original
Home Sweet Home Alone (2021) - Disney Plus Original
Let It Snow (2019) - Netflix Original
The Noel Diary (2022) - Netflix Original
A Cinderella Story: Christmas Wish (2019)
A Castle for Christmas (2021) - Netflix Original
A Christmas Story Christmas (2022) - HBO Max Original
My Christmas Inn (2018) - Lifetime
Something from Tiffany's (2022) - Amazon Prime Original
Black Christmas (1974)

'Twas the Night Before Before Before Christmas,
When all through the House,
The only creatures stirring were a psycho in the attic and a group of very unfortunate Canadian sorority girls...

This film, along with Carpenter's original Halloween (the movie it not so coincidentally inspired), are quite possibly my favourite horror movies of all time.

I love this movie. I love its most distinguishing feature, one that has oddly eluded the majority of its progeny: empathy. The murders in the film don't take place in a vacuum like so many other classic slashers. The movie hammers home the idea that death casts a pall-like wake on everyone in the deceased's orbit. I don't think it's an accident that the original title of the film was Tragic Christmas, until the more marketable Black Christmas was settled upon.

I love the film's humour. Seriously, the movie is actually funnier than many may remember, which comes as a bit of a relief because the tension in certain spots is almost unbearable. I love how everyone in the film behaves rationally and logically, to no avail. The message that no matter how 'good' or 'smart' you are, the world will never stop being a scary and dangerous place, is as relevant today as it was all those decades ago.

And finally, I love the fact that all this bat**** craziness happens in the film but no rational explanation is given for any of it. This movie was made in an era before Hollywood started demanding that every villain have an arc, and before character motivation was constantly being shoved down our throats. The bleak, downbeat ending may be too bitter a pill for some to swallow, but the film is of a piece and viewed as a whole, the movie's conclusion has its own morbid logic. There are eight billion stories on this planet, folks, and not one of them will have a happy ending...

5 corpses in the attic out of 5.

 

[Drizzle]

Home Alone

I know this will ruffle some feathers, but... I do not particularly care for this movie. *ducks under cover* I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Something about it just does not click with me. I appreciate it. There's certainly a lot to enjoy, but same with Elf. I just do not get the same kind of fun out of these movies like most people do.

I like the first Home Alone well enough but I'm not nearly as protective of that as I am about Home Alone 2. Hot take (or is it?): I think Home Alone 2 is better than the first. Yeah, it's basically a retread in a new location, but hear me out...

You have the classic Uncle Frank scene which also is the reason why I consider "Cool Jerk" an unofficial Christmas song.



Daniel Stern somehow topping the tarantula scream from the first one.



And last but not least, Tim f'in Curry.

 

[DarthSkywalker]

Day 22

35. Little Women

Mini Candy Cane Review: This is a painfully beautiful and melancholy look at womanhood and passage of time. Oh, and my Joker origin is totally not being Timothee. It's not fair!

5 holy crap is that slippin' Jimmy out of 5

36. Crashing Through the Snow

Mini Candy Cane Review: The best actual Hallmark Christmas flick I've ever seen. It's simple overall, but shows more character and story then any of the others by a long way. Acker gets to properly act and her co-stars are finally decent overall.

4 hunks in a hot tub out of 5

 

[Lily Adler]

This moment was too real for NB:

That's why you choose paper or reusable, sucker!

 

[DarthSkywalker]

That's why you choose paper or reusable, sucker!

Not only does it help the Earth, it makes sure your Tropicana doesn't have any snow in it!

 

[Ninjablade]

On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me... a ten scissored fingered robot.

Edward Scissorhands

Tim Burton and Danny Elfman's magnum opuses? I mean both perfect what they do here with Batman Returns, but this lays the groundwork for everything that is sacred in that film pretty much. It's my all time favorite Christmas movie. Beautifully tragic. Winona is just I don't think there's anything this movie doesn't do well. I mean the "Hold Me" scene will never not break me. I miss this Burton.

 

[DarthSkywalker]

On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me... a ten scissored fingered robot.

Edward Scissorhands

Tim Burton and Danny Elfman's magnum opuses? I mean both perfect what they do here with Batman Returns, but this lays the groundwork for everything that is sacred in that film pretty much. It's my all time favorite Christmas movie. Beautifully tragic. Winona is just I don't think there's anything this movie doesn't do well. I mean the "Hold Me" scene will never not break me. I miss this Burton.

That's Beetlejuice, but this one's okay too.

 

[Batgirl0202]

Tim Burton and Danny Elfman's magnum opuses? I mean both perfect what they do here with Batman Returns, but this lays the groundwork for everything that is sacred in that film pretty much. It's my all time favorite Christmas movie. Beautifully tragic. Winona is just I don't think there's anything this movie doesn't do well. I mean the "Hold Me" scene will never not break me. I miss this Burton.

Easily my second favourite Burton film, only narrowly surpassed by Batman Returns.

Such a beautiful movie, with one of the saddest exchanges I've ever seen in cinema:

"Hold me."
"I can't."

Such a succinct way to encapsulate tragic longing and unrequited love. Breaks me every time...

I don't think it's an accident either that Burton's two best films are both Christmas-adjacent. Let's face it, this is a difficult time of year for many people who are battling serious issues. I personally love the build up to Christmas, but when it actually arrives I start mourning its inevitable end. December 26 is one of the worst days of the year for me...

Anyway, both Edward Scissorhands and Batman Returns would make a logical back-to-back double bill on Christmas Eve, though it might be too much melancholy for one sitting. I won't have time for it tonight but perhaps another year...

Merry Christmas, everyone!

 

[Gothamsknight]

Am I watching die hard in 4k for the second time this season? Yes I am watching die hard in 4k for the second time this season. It'll always be a Christmas movie to me. That and home alone being my favorites.

 

[3rdstone]

My parents and I couldn't celebrate this Christmas Eve with my brother and sister in law, since my brother got the covid crap this week. Which is sad here, e.g just only for one reason: There's only one bloody holiday of the year my sister in law cares about. And cares about that, she does. A lot. With ridiculously amounts of traditional food (being the professional chef she is) etc etc. All of that wasted. A few other relatives would've been there as well. F**k covid.

Even though it's not totally over for him, at least my brother got through this evilness over all kinda fine (at least compared to the nightmare stories, and thanks to being fully vaccinated. Help me understand anti-vaxxers?), which for me of course is the most, most ever important thing ever over any kinds of Christmas whatever stuff this year.

Anyhows, so I celebrated this Christmas Eve only with my 83 yo parents. Which is fine. My old Wonder Woman mom is always able to put up a great traditional Christmas Eve dinner with a little practical help, and we had a really nice Christmas Eve celebration with gifts and all together yesterday.

As a bonus, this fine old flick turned up on the telly (will always remembering kinda randomly watching this at the cinema back then. "That Willis dude from that cheesy comedy series in an action film, instead of the rerelase of Pink Floyd's The Wall? Dunno, man"). Well, of course we had to watch this together. My dad typically dosed off from time to time at the couch, but mom was totally engaged in the story and all the dramatic turns.

From now on, this will be a step up on my must-watch-christmas-flicks, just from this little Christmas Eve memory alone. Who knows how things will be like next year?

Happy Holidays, everyone!