The Hulk showdown

[imagine12]

Hey there everybody, I'm sending in another application to marvel and a couple other places. Tell me what you'all think!

 

[imagine12]

 

[Pauluz]

I think you have a very nice style and the sequences look great!

 

[Sava]

very very good stuff there

 

[chrisfishlock]

I think its really good, not sure what Marvel would think, then again how would i lol. Good luck.

 

[mrsparkle]

Professional quality.

I love your style.

 

[X-Fan#1]

looks great man, very well done

 

[Obi-Ron]

I'm not sure how well the camel toe would go over with an editor.

 

[Lobo]

Love it. Good luck, I like your style more than some things I've seen published. Hope Marvel likes it, but I know they're picky

 

[KAD]

Great work

love th running shot

 

[imagine12]

Wow, thanks alot guys and gals! Ya the crotch shot may have been a bit too much, just trying to keep the editors on their toes lol. Marvel is pretty picky too, and this is only the second thing i've sent so it may take a few applications but I'm not giving up! I'll be sure to keep you all posted and put anything put some more stuff up if you guys want to see it. Thanks alot though peeps!

 

[Syncos]

I don't think the crotch shot is too much at all. That's an extreme perspective. It's good to showcase that you can pull that kind of thing off. Your work is stellar. Good luck on landing a gig.

 

[Mrh7448]

I have to say your work is beautifully rendered and has a clean professional look. You've got great expressions for your characters and different looks for everyone. Anatomy and perspective look good and proportioning is pretty good.

I think you could work on your compositions a little and where you crop certain elements. For example Ross' face in Panel 3 on Page one and again on page 2 in the last panel. They are just a bit of an awkward crop.

Also the placement of Ross in relation to everything else in Panel one of Page 2. It's seems like a bit of an awkard composition. When you have She Hulk and the soldier right behind him and the two gun barrels I think are throwing it off a little.

In the Second panel I think Hulk/Banner needs to be larger. It's a continuity thing with what's happening before (the sizing in panel 2 of Page 1 and when he's charging She-hulk)

The only other thing I'm curious is the girl in panel 2 on Page one. The one off to the left, Why is she there?

The crotch shot I don't think is too overdone, but it seems to be a bit of jump in angles, from more conventional to a sudden extreme shot, to me it doesn't really fit, and her placement of hands emphasizes her that part of her. Just something to think about, something else might work a little better, but I think if text was placed in there it could work...IMO.

Apart from those small elements maybe some background work it's been my experience it's the one things that does get mentioned when I show my work. You have good establishing shot but most of it disappears there after. And I know there are a lot of artists guilty of that, including myself.


Anyway overall great work. Just a few small things but I don't think they detract from your work at all...just something's you might want to keep in mind. Overall I could really see your work on a shelf. It's wonderfully rendered and most of what

 

[Goten]

Wow man thats really good!

 

[Shuley]

Marvel isn't going to accept this. Storytelling is too confusing,pacing isn't smooth flowing. Not to sound like a jerk,but don't get your hopes up. Check out Watchmen,almost anything by frank miller,neal adams,jack kirby for referance as to see what great stoytelling looks like. Remember, just cause you know what's goin on in the panel,doesn't mean the reader does.

 

[imagine12]

Fair enough, and ya I never do get my hopes up, I know it takes a while to get into Marvel. But I don't see how the pacing is off. There is a panel or two that hints of vague, but overall I Think the story is so simple Geico would cover it. They shoot, he shoots back. As for pacing I tried to keep a pretty even balance of action beats and quiet beats that built up to the final confrontation. First page calm, second- action, third -breathe, fourth- action, fifth -pretty frantic because it all hit the fan. What'yall think?

 

[Shuley]

You have head and hands that are being cut off in certain panels, a big no-no. I don't like She-Hulk's nose...makes her look like a guy.

 

[imagine12]

lol, everybody's preference in women aside, any suggestions?

 

[Mrh7448]

Fair enough, and ya I never do get my hopes up, I know it takes a while to get into Marvel. But I don't see how the pacing is off. There is a panel or two that hints of vague, but overall I Think the story is so simple Geico would cover it. They shoot, he shoots back. As for pacing I tried to keep a pretty even balance of action beats and quiet beats that built up to the final confrontation. First page calm, second- action, third -breathe, fourth- action, fifth -pretty frantic because it all hit the fan. What'yall think?

I have to be honest I had to look it over a couple times before I really figured out what was going on. I'm not sure why that was now, since it seems to be alright at first glance it looked a bit confusing.

I think it has to do with some of the cropping and positioning of the figures as I mentioned before.

The sudden appearance of a worm's eye view for She Hulk. I understand doing this for a test, to show you can do it. But with the rest it seems out of place. It's a sudden change in view that doesn't really serve a purpose here. It creates a dramatic moment that isn't that dramatic. IMO.

When the soldiers start shooting Banner looks to be right in front of them, almost point blank, but when he turns into the Hulk he's actually a bit of a distance. Try reducing the size of the silhouettes of the army guys it should help with the appearance of distance.

The close up of the crotches i find a bit odd and don't know how to take them. It shows the soldiers face and then I am assuming he is putting his gun down. Then there's hulk's face and a crotch shot. Why? Is it supposed to show his clothes ripping? I don't know I feel there might be a better way of doing this and still keeping the feel you want.

On the same page I would suggest showing the tank shooting. Then on the following page remove the tank and just have the Hulk being hit. I think this would help with the story telling. Page 3 would end with a big BANG, holy crap moment, and then Page 4 would open with Hulk being hit.

I also feel personally that having Hulk get hit should have quite a bit of emphasis. It doesn't, he gets hit then he gets made. To me it should be almost an exclamation point. It's the point that really pisses him off. I would definitely make that large and in your face. If I was working on it I would probably Make that at least a half page panel. and possible do insets for the faces. Then the other last I would consider doing an extreme close up of Hulks Pissed off face, or something similar to what you've done. Possible have him breaking panel to create an emphasis.

I don't think the storytelling is that bad it needs a bit of work to make it more clear. The cropping/compositions need some work though, there are some very awkward crops. Cropping someday at a joing (wrist, elbow, neck) is not a good idea. Also some of them just looks like you didn't have enough room and just figured what the hell and stuck them in anyway. Page One panel 3 for instance. Ross is just cut off in the middle of the head. Think about removing him altogether and doing a closer shot of She Hulk, or move him more fully into frame.

You have great drawing abilities. Your rendering is fantastics. I think you have most of the elements you need, just a work on the storytelling and composition.

Hope this helps...Good Luck.

 

[Mrh7448]

Bored at work so I figured I'd try to show what I was saying. Please note I was using my brick (aka mouse) so it may look a little clunky. The red is trying to show how the cropping may look if changed a little.

Moving Ross into full frame on Panel 3 I think builds the composition and makes it a little less awkward.
Still not sure what I would do to replace the She-Hulk panel. Just try something a little less drastic maybe

Sorry that second blob around Ross's elbow, should be in behind, adding another soldier to the mix
Making Hulk larger or the soldiers smaller help increase the distance more to where they were in previous panels. (It should probably still be pushed farther than what I've indicated.)
Changing the position of Ross, to a different cropping makes the composition a little more dynamic and the crop is less awkward as at least half of his face is in frame and not cropped right at the lips.

I would consider removing the Barrel from between Ross and She Hulk. It just felt out of place and threw out the composition. Move Ross a little and bring She Hulk more into frame. Again having her cropped right at the neck is just a bad crop.
Also I think ending on the firing tank is a band use of that fram.

Increase Hulk getting hit reposition the close-ups and then have him busting frame a little at the end. I think the layout is a now a little more dynamic and has a little more UMPH to it.

I think your last page reads pretty well, only thing to take under consideration is the position of the soldiers. Here She-Hulk is getting ready to fight Hulk. However, all the soldiers are just kind of standing around ho-hum, like it's another day at the office. They should be a little on guard, on edge and ready to take flight. Remember they just hit Hulk with everything they had including a tank and it didn't phase him.

Granted they might be trained fighting men but I would say they would still be a little agitated.

I know it seems like nitpicking but it's small stuff like this that can really make a piece.

Again these are all just suggestions, take it or don't. I think this is the type of stuff Marvel will probably comment on and if I was an art director definitely what I would be looking at.

 

[Mrh7448]

Last noises from the peanut gallery. It's hard to tell but it looks like you might have used some sublte shading as opposed to hatching/linear shading. It's just something to watch out for.

 

[imagine12]

Wow, thanks alot, those are some really good pointers! I really appreciate the time you went into it. I feel you on the crotch shot, that was probably my biggest problem with it too. And the close up on page two works really well. On the third page I was showing the soldier pissing his pants, then the hulk pissing out the bullets so to speak. It may have come off vague but I think it might have come off clearer when colored. The hands and head thing I do have to work on, cropping them off I know is a no no, but i'm gonna work on that. thanks for the tips! Some people don't know how to give constructive criticism but you nailed it buddy, thanks for the tips!

 

[KAD]

Ya know I kinda think your crotch shots would work if reversed or at oppossite extremes, one top left one bottom right.

If the Hulk crotch is first the soldier crotch seems appropriate and the shared aspect ratio of the frames ties the two together sequentially even if at oppossing extremes.

 

[Mrh7448]

Wow, thanks alot, those are some really good pointers! I really appreciate the time you went into it. I feel you on the crotch shot, that was probably my biggest problem with it too. And the close up on page two works really well. On the third page I was showing the soldier pissing his pants, then the hulk pissing out the bullets so to speak. It may have come off vague but I think it might have come off clearer when colored. The hands and head thing I do have to work on, cropping them off I know is a no no, but i'm gonna work on that. thanks for the tips! Some people don't know how to give constructive criticism but you nailed it buddy, thanks for the tips!

Ah I gotchya. I'm afraid it was a little difficult to read "the peeing the pants" scenario going on. After you mentioned I can see it now. It probably would read better with colour. Another option is to possibly do the puddle forming around his feet it might read a little better. Something you can play with at least.

Good luck though. Like I said you've got really nice work and your rendering and pencils are really great just few things to work on and think about and I think you'd be set.

 

[egarza]

yeah, like the work, love the suggestions. you've got a lot of skill, man. good luck to you!