It is hard to imagine the hilarious comic ever feeling so down. But in his pre-rehab days in London, the Scotsman writes in his upcoming memoir, American on Purpose (out Sept. 15), one Christmas morning he woke up in a tavern storage room amid his own vomit and urine − or at least what he hoped was his own. It was the lowest point of his life.
The comedian writes, I felt worse than I ever had. ... I was a drunk, a loser and a disaster as a human being. ... The shame was immense. It pushed down on me like a terrible weight.
And it led him to decide it was time for him to die.
The pub was near the Tower Bridge over the Thames, and Ferguson made a plan to jump in. He was on his way, but bumped into a friend who cheered him up, inadvertently saving his life and sending him on a series of showbiz adventures that led to Hollywood. Ferguson, now healthy and hunky at 47, wears an American flag kilt on the cover of the book to commemorate his US citizenship and his vision of America as the land of the second, third and 106th chance.
Ferguson, who was signed up by HarperCollins editor David Hirshey, still loves the land of his birth, though his Scottish childhood was harsh. But he writes that in this country, failure is not a disgrace. Its just a pitch that you missed, and youd better get ready for the next one..