The Men rules...

Morg

Grumpy mod
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We always hear "the rules" from the female side... Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
3. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
4. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
5. Crying is blackmail.
6. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
7. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.
8. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
9. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
10. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
11. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
12. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
13. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
14. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
15. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
16. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
17. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
18. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
19. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
20. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.
21. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, football, basketball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
22. You have enough clothes.
23. You have too many shoes.
24. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

*snickers* some are sooo true
 
24 four points adding up to one fact

Men are dumbasses ;)
 
some additionals...

Yes, we think some of your friends are hot. No, we will not tell you if we think so or which one we would sleep with.

Don't try and make your father and I bond, if we don't like each other, WE DON'T LIKE EACH OTHER.

Yes, we can sit around and watch sports all day, just as you can shop all day..
 
I'll stop peeing on the toilet seat, when you stop splattering it with blood.
 
No, we don't like to talk

Don't talk to us with 2 hours after we get up..We can barley see and you want to have a conversation?

Yea, we really were looking at that girl,that's what we do...look.

The house is clean enough.
 
exactly , you cant blame us us for something thats in our nature to do.

Exactly, so when we have pms and we can't stop crying or we want to rip you a new one, don't blame us. It's in our nature. :yay:
 
Exactly, so when we have pms and we can't stop crying or we want to rip you a new one, don't blame us. It's in our nature. :yay:


men also live by double standards , thats something youll have to get used to
 
*debates whether I want to make an easy joke about the irony of Morg posting men rules*...naaah. :cwink:
 
The first man rule is you do not talk about fight club. The second man rule is you do not talk about fight club. The third & most important man rule is you never ever talk about fight club
 
The first man rule is you do not talk about fight club. The second man rule is you do not talk about fight club. The third & most important man rule is you never ever talk about fight club

Chuck Norris can talk about Fight Club.
 

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