The Mental Health and Wellness Thread

[Mandon Knight]

Man, this thread really hits home as I've been struggling with serious depression for some time now, going back to my teen years. Doing very small things can be extremely difficult, such as getting up to make a cup of coffee. I don't enjoy things the way I used to when I was younger.

What really upsets me is that a lot of people in my life see depression as an excuse. One of my friends (who I distanced myself from lately) kept telling me that I am choosing to let myself be depressed and that I am lazy.

How do you deal with someone like that? I haven't been hanging out with him lately because he makes me feel worse and I find him to be quite toxic.

How do you deal with reaction or response to that ? A) Firstly you consider how important that person is to you, given you've been brave enough to open yourself up to them and that is their response and then B) When you have made your choice, you either explain how painful the experience is and educate them on how depression works and if they don't want to know how that makes you feel, then you have your answer or C) If it were me, I'd walk away as far as possible from them and leave them out of my life if that is how they see you and how courageous you are in dealing with depression, if they believe you to be lazy or it's a choice (it is most certainly not) then they wouldn't be worth another second of my time. I speak from experience, I had a friend of a friend who had similar thoughts (he expressed them stronger than your example, but the 'story' behind the decision amounts to the same) and they very swiftly became an ex-friend.

 

[Spider-Aziz]

What really upsets me is that a lot of people in my life see depression as an excuse. One of my friends (who I distanced myself from lately) kept telling me that I am choosing to let myself be depressed and that I am lazy.

How do you deal with someone like that? I haven't been hanging out with him lately because he makes me feel worse and I find him to be quite toxic.

Smile to him and say thank you.
And then walk away and think to yourself "How troublesome"


For how long have you been depressed? What causes it?

 

[Flash525]

What really upsets me is that a lot of people in my life see depression as an excuse. One of my friends (who I distanced myself from lately) kept telling me that I am choosing to let myself be depressed and that I am lazy.

How do you deal with someone like that? I haven't been hanging out with him lately because he makes me feel worse and I find him to be quite toxic.

I can't specifically speak for your friend, but a lot of people (myself included to some degree) simply don't understand depression. A lot of people probably claim they are depressed too, when in actuality they're not, they're just having a bad day (or bad couple of days). It's tough to diagnose - presumably you've been diagnosed as depressed?

Maybe your friend needs to be enlightened about this?

I don't think I've ever been depressed, though I've certainly had bad days (or even weeks); spending time with good friends and family members help, but when they're not around, the best medicine I've found is uplifting music (nothing too heavy, just something calm and settling). Works a treat. Try it!

 

[ehh]

How do you deal with reaction or response to that ? A) Firstly you consider how important that person is to you, given you've been brave enough to open yourself up to them and that is their response and then B) When you have made your choice, you either explain how painful the experience is and educate them on how depression works and if they don't want to know how that makes you feel, then you have your answer or C) If it were me, I'd walk away as far as possible from them and leave them out of my life if that is how they see you and how courageous you are in dealing with depression, if they believe you to be lazy or it's a choice (it is most certainly not) then they wouldn't be worth another second of my time. I speak from experience, I had a friend of a friend who had similar thoughts (he expressed them stronger than your example, but the 'story' behind the decision amounts to the same) and they very swiftly became an ex-friend.

That is certainly something to think about. I can say that this person does not add much value to my life anymore.

For how long have you been depressed? What causes it?

Well I've been depressed for the past decade or so, but it gets better, gets worse, and is never the same. As for what causes it, that is quite complicated. For one, I also have OCD, so that is a major contributor. Then my lack of social life, physical ailments, and relationship issues have been the main reasons in the past few years.

Sometimes nothing specific causes the depression. Nothing will be going wrong, but I just feel like I don't want to do anything and I get no enjoyment out of things I normally like. I think that is the worst.

I can't specifically speak for your friend, but a lot of people (myself included to some degree) simply don't understand depression. A lot of people probably claim they are depressed too, when in actuality they're not, they're just having a bad day (or bad couple of days). It's tough to diagnose - presumably you've been diagnosed as depressed?

Maybe your friend needs to be enlightened about this?

I don't think I've ever been depressed, though I've certainly had bad days (or even weeks); spending time with good friends and family members help, but when they're not around, the best medicine I've found is uplifting music (nothing too heavy, just something calm and settling). Works a treat. Try it!

Yeah, I do think a lot of people simply don't understand "depression." It is often used as a synonym for being sad or upset. I was diagnosed with depression, and I did not truly understand what depression meant until I received that diagnosis.

Sometimes I'll go ahead and listen to music, comedy or playing some of my favorite video games and that can help. It doesn't work in the long term but I can have some nice moments.

 

[Mandon Knight]

My insulin pens for my 24 hour injection, taken after evening meal are playing up (again), went to see chemist and they say it's a manufacturer's fault, ring them and can't do a damn thing about it. Basically one box of pens in four work, it just not good enough for something you rely on to keep you alive. Found a pen tonight that works (thank god), play merry hell with the chemist tomorrow. Rant over.

 

[Mach2Infinity]

My insulin pens for my 24 hour injection, taken after evening meal are playing up (again), went to see chemist and they say it's a manufacturer's fault, ring them and can't do a damn thing about it. Basically one box of pens in four work, it just not good enough for something you rely on to keep you alive. Found a pen tonight that works (thank god), play merry hell with the chemist tomorrow. Rant over.

Damn man, had no idea. Hope you're all right? They better sort an alternative for you. Sending you all the support bro. We should chat as soon as.

 

[Mandon Knight]

Cat that I've inherited (or she has chosen me to be her food provider and lap enabler for the evenings) is making a big difference, named her 'Scoffi' because she does nothing but eat and that's a big thing in our house. She is very affectionate and playful, but also 'dog-like' in her quiet moments and isn't a cat who is friendly one minute / scratches you and bites you the next, she's pretty neutral and is one for wanting cuddles and stroking. We've checked with CPS (Cats Protection) and RSPCA and no owner has come forward, so all good.

 

[Mandon Knight]

Have to break this feeling of complete dis-connection to humanity and my own life.

 

[Hotwire]

Last year my then, 9yo, autistic daughter was asked to write a couple sentences in school to describe something prior don't know about her She wrote, "I'm secretly a very depressed girl who had trouble choosing between life and death."

Since then, she's been evaluated several times and been in weekly therapy sessions. In June, she even took scissors at school and cut her wrist. Luckily, it was only superficial but, still, a very scary crisis. She spent a week in a partial hospitalization program. School seemed to be the biggest trigger for her.

So far this school year, she's doing amazing! She has a triad of teachers all with a special ed background, an autistic support teacher, and a personal care aide who's with her the entire time she's at school.

Well, at her latest session with her therapist she drew the attached picture. I couldn't be happier with her progress! I'm even going so far as to get it as a tattoo. I'm choking up just typing this. Thinking about how close we came to losing her and to come this far. It's amazing!

 

[Mandon Knight]

Last year my then, 9yo, autistic daughter was asked to write a couple sentences in school to describe something prior don't know about her She wrote, "I'm secretly a very depressed girl who had trouble choosing between life and death."

Since then, she's been evaluated several times and been in weekly therapy sessions. In June, she even took scissors at school and cut her wrist. Luckily, it was only superficial but, still, a very scary crisis. She spent a week in a partial hospitalization program. School seemed to be the biggest trigger for her.

So far this school year, she's doing amazing! She has a triad of teachers all with a special ed background, an autistic support teacher, and a personal care aide who's with her the entire time she's at school.

Well, at her latest session with her therapist she drew the attached picture. I couldn't be happier with her progress! I'm even going so far as to get it as a tattoo. I'm choking up just typing this. Thinking about how close we came to losing her and to come this far. It's amazing! View attachment 10363

Beautiful HW - what a special girl, a true heroine, treasure her, as I know you will, and well done to you guys for being incredible too as a support and inspiration to her. An inspirational outcome, so good to hear.

 

[Iceman]

I can't specifically speak for your friend, but a lot of people (myself included to some degree) simply don't understand depression. A lot of people probably claim they are depressed too, when in actuality they're not, they're just having a bad day (or bad couple of days). It's tough to diagnose - presumably you've been diagnosed as depressed?

Maybe your friend needs to be enlightened about this?

I don't think I've ever been depressed, though I've certainly had bad days (or even weeks); spending time with good friends and family members help, but when they're not around, the best medicine I've found is uplifting music (nothing too heavy, just something calm and settling). Works a treat. Try it!

I think there is a lot of truth to this. It would have been helpful for the condition of depression to have a different name that didn't coincide with the status of a perfectly fine individual who is temporarily "depressed" about something specific but doesn't have the medical condition of depression.

 

[Iceman]

Last year my then, 9yo, autistic daughter was asked to write a couple sentences in school to describe something prior don't know about her She wrote, "I'm secretly a very depressed girl who had trouble choosing between life and death."

Since then, she's been evaluated several times and been in weekly therapy sessions. In June, she even took scissors at school and cut her wrist. Luckily, it was only superficial but, still, a very scary crisis. She spent a week in a partial hospitalization program. School seemed to be the biggest trigger for her.

So far this school year, she's doing amazing! She has a triad of teachers all with a special ed background, an autistic support teacher, and a personal care aide who's with her the entire time she's at school.

Well, at her latest session with her therapist she drew the attached picture. I couldn't be happier with her progress! I'm even going so far as to get it as a tattoo. I'm choking up just typing this. Thinking about how close we came to losing her and to come this far. It's amazing! View attachment 10363

That's awesome mate, congrats! Your behaviour must have played a part in helping her get to this stage.

 

[Iceman]

Cat that I've inherited (or she has chosen me to be her food provider and lap enabler for the evenings) is making a big difference, named her 'Scoffi' because she does nothing but eat and that's a big thing in our house. She is very affectionate and playful, but also 'dog-like' in her quiet moments and isn't a cat who is friendly one minute / scratches you and bites you the next, she's pretty neutral and is one for wanting cuddles and stroking. We've checked with CPS (Cats Protection) and RSPCA and no owner has come forward, so all good.

Ah nice. My 2 cats are my first ever pets and I've had them about 7 months now. Lovely little companions. Hope yours continues to help you for a long time.

 

[TheDreamMaster]

Found out my 15 year old cousin attempted to commit suicide last night by taking several of some type of medication and throw himself down three flights of stairs. He was saved, but it’s been well known he has mental problems and his parents still aren’t treating this like a big deal.

 

[Mandon Knight]

Found out my 15 year old cousin attempted to commit suicide last night by taking several of some type of medication and throw himself down three flights of stairs. He was saved, but it’s been well known he has mental problems and his parents still aren’t treating this like a big deal.

Very sorry to hear TDM, please try and encourage them to see it as the biggest deal, and get the care he needs, all the very best with the situation and thoughts with you all.

 

[Mandon Knight]

Went for a long, long walk today in park near me and broke down to myself on how and why I've lost my placement, my focus, my existence in my own life and done me a lot of good.

 

[MaceB]

Last year my then, 9yo, autistic daughter was asked to write a couple sentences in school to describe something prior don't know about her She wrote, "I'm secretly a very depressed girl who had trouble choosing between life and death."

Since then, she's been evaluated several times and been in weekly therapy sessions. In June, she even took scissors at school and cut her wrist. Luckily, it was only superficial but, still, a very scary crisis. She spent a week in a partial hospitalization program. School seemed to be the biggest trigger for her.

So far this school year, she's doing amazing! She has a triad of teachers all with a special ed background, an autistic support teacher, and a personal care aide who's with her the entire time she's at school.

Well, at her latest session with her therapist she drew the attached picture. I couldn't be happier with her progress! I'm even going so far as to get it as a tattoo. I'm choking up just typing this. Thinking about how close we came to losing her and to come this far. It's amazing! View attachment 10363

So good to hear! Thank you for being an awesome dad.

 

[MaceB]

I feel like I'm falling into a deep, deep depression. I'm losing interest in the things that I used to love. Losing hope that there's anything positive in the future. I hate the person that I see in the mirror. I'm trapped inside my family's home, sneaking my pot habit and barricading myself in the room. I'm like my own prisoner here... walking on egg shells... making them walk on egg shells too. I feel so utterly alone, even with my family around. Just zoned out watching tv on my bed... letting the world go by as I try to stay as still as possible.

I've got debt problems. Dental problems. Car problems. Health problems. Sex addiction problems. Grief problems. drug and alcohol problems... and I've basically alienated all my friends who could help me. I fantasize about buying a gun to off myself with. It's just fantasy I guess, but the thoughts are becoming a lot more intrusive in my day to day life now. I'm off my depression meds. I can't see a therapist, as I quit my job 7 months ago, and no longer have insurance.

I just... I might be boned. One of those things I guess. I need to start working out. It'll be the first real time in my life, but committing to good health has got to give me better chances. And I have the time and space to do it right now. I'm living rent free on a ranch without a steady job... so I've got the time to exercise. From there, I just need to make $700 of additional income every month. If I can't develop a way to do that reliably in the next 6 months to do that with my photography/videography/editing, then I'll have to go back to the 8-5.

I feel like the best strategy in this situation is "fake it till you make it." My brain wants to be unhappy right now, and if I listen to it... I'll wallow around doing nothing. I have to force my body into action, and my brain will follow. I'll do my best, but... if I'm being honest... I've always had a problem fitting in and a problem with feeling depressed..... even since I was small. And now with actual challenges to overcome instead of just perceived ones... it's gonna be a heavy lift. It's one of those "do or die" kind of moments.

 

[Flash525]

I feel like I'm falling into a deep, deep depression. I'm losing interest in the things that I used to love. Losing hope that there's anything positive in the future. I hate the person that I see in the mirror. I'm trapped inside my family's home, sneaking my pot habit and barricading myself in the room. I'm like my own prisoner here... walking on egg shells... making them walk on egg shells too. I feel so utterly alone, even with my family around. Just zoned out watching tv on my bed... letting the world go by as I try to stay as still as possible.

I've got debt problems. Dental problems. Car problems. Health problems. Sex addiction problems. Grief problems. drug and alcohol problems... and I've basically alienated all my friends who could help me. I fantasize about buying a gun to off myself with. It's just fantasy I guess, but the thoughts are becoming a lot more intrusive in my day to day life now. I'm off my depression meds. I can't see a therapist, as I quit my job 7 months ago, and no longer have insurance.

I just... I might be boned. One of those things I guess. I need to start working out. It'll be the first real time in my life, but committing to good health has got to give me better chances. And I have the time and space to do it right now. I'm living rent free on a ranch without a steady job... so I've got the time to exercise. From there, I just need to make $700 of additional income every month. If I can't develop a way to do that reliably in the next 6 months to do that with my photography/videography/editing, then I'll have to go back to the 8-5.

I feel like the best strategy in this situation is "fake it till you make it." My brain wants to be unhappy right now, and if I listen to it... I'll wallow around doing nothing. I have to force my body into action, and my brain will follow. I'll do my best, but... if I'm being honest... I've always had a problem fitting in and a problem with feeling depressed..... even since I was small. And now with actual challenges to overcome instead of just perceived ones... it's gonna be a heavy lift. It's one of those "do or die" kind of moments.

Sounds like you already know how to fix your situation, so I shall simply wish you the best of luck. It's easy to be mentally defeated (I have off days too) but if you can pick yourself up and out of them, you're already half way to a win.

 

[MaceB]

Sounds like you already know how to fix your situation, so I shall simply wish you the best of luck. It's easy to be mentally defeated (I have off days too) but if you can pick yourself up and out of them, you're already half way to a win.

Thank you dude! That's very kind of you.

 

[Flash525]

Thank you dude! That's very kind of you.

You're welcome! It's weird just how much of a buzz you can get out of exercise; something you've said you want to do more of. Whether it's a 5k run (or even jog), a bike ride, or an hour with weights, you'll still feel better for it afterwards, although granted, it can take some mental discipline to get going in the first place.

In the event you were to run/ride, plan out a route first - specifically a circuit, rather than 'there and back'. If you plan out a circuit, you have to complete it as you can't just turn around. If you run out then back, you can simply stop and return earlier (if you talk yourself out of it). Similarly with weight training, have some sort of idea what you want to do; set up a bunch of equipment (or even just do circuits) but know what you're doing, rather than just aimlessly doing a few exercises and calling it a day. Can always start small.

One thing I was curious of though; you said sex addition problems, yet you've also said you don't go out much? Unless you're calling in escorts... or is it a porn addition you've got?

 

[Mandon Knight]

Thoughts and hope for everyone on World Mental Health Day.

 

[Mandon Knight]

In the future I would want to/like to be an adoptive parent and interesting article here about the 'social' view of that from people with children of their own.....

What to never say to a parent who has adopted a child - and what you should

 

[Mandon Knight]

Massive issue and been at the wrong end of work decisions because of it - not got a permanent role from a temp agency position, having been told before hand I would be getting a switch to perm and then having to declare a hour out of the day to see my therapist and then having the role withdrawn completely and effectively dismissed because of it....

Why we need to talk about mental health in the workplace

 

[Mandon Knight]

This needs more responsive action, sooner & with more funding.....

Government pledge to end mental health treatment gap by 2020 will actually take a 'generation' to achieve, health secretary admits