The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - - Part 31

My comment on marriage is not necessarily about an end goal but more of a "Hey, you've been together for over a year, some of these issues that are bothering you should have already been discussed at this stage."
 
I know that I always ask myself “how would @InCali handle this situation in his marriage?”
A common reaction.

Of course! Oh, so humble and purrfect.

As Steph Curry has said ....."Word".

You can't go wrong with that!

Uhhhhhh......right????


I got a message from google saying my storage was WAY too high, so I went back and deleted a S*** ton of stuff starting from 12 years ago. The cool thing about doing that is that you find a lot of pics and movs that are lost on your crappy computer filing system. Anyway, I found this from when my buddy Max, his son Clyde Einstein, and his daughter Shortstop were hanging out with me on my mom's couch a few years ago. Max is next to me, Clyde is getting scratched, and Shortstop just wants her face next to mine.....she's a face licker. LOL

I will preach a bit here and say that what works for me is eternal optimism. I go through life believing that things will work out and when stuff goes south, I think of a better north. I know that doesn't work for everyone, but it works for me AND allows me to go forward with honesty when I talk to people and tell them things WILL get better. I don't know for sure that it's true, but believe it in my heart of hearts. I was a pretty damn good union organizer and never once had to lie to anyone.

The second pic is from when the pups were born.

muh dawgs.JPG

pups.JPEG
 
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A common reaction.



As Steph Curry has said ....."Word".



Uhhhhhh......right????


I got a message from google saying my storage was WAY too high, so I went back and deleted a S*** ton of stuff starting from 12 years ago. The cool thing about doing that is that you find a lot of pics and movs that are lost on your crappy computer filing system. Anyway, I found this from when my buddy Max, his son Clyde Einstein, and his daughter Shortstop were hanging out with me on my mom's couch a few years ago. Max is next to me, Clyde is getting scratched, and Shortstop just wants her face next to mine.....she's a face licker. LOL

I will preach a bit here and say that what works for me is eternal optimism. I go through life believing that things will work out and when stuff goes south, I think of a better north. I know that doesn't work for everyone, but it works for me AND allows me to go forward with honesty when I talk to people and tell them things WILL get better. I don't know for sure that it's true, but believe it in my heart of hearts. I was a pretty damn good union organizer and never once had to lie to anyone.

The second pic is from when the pups were born.

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El Cali!
 
Guys, how often do women sexually harass you? Is it common?
 
Guys, how often do women sexually harass you? Is it common?

The problem that I have is that I’m naturally quite beautiful. I usually assume that people’s flirtation is due to a need to diffuse the tension that my rugged good looks causes.

But in all seriousness, over the years I had lots of encounters that probably weren’t appropriate. Very few times have I actually felt “harassed.” I usually chalk it up to people attempting to be flirtatious. I usually just respond that I’m flattered. The only times that I feel it crosses the line are when people don’t respect the fact that I’m married. I once had a woman at a conference that I was attending come on to me. When I told her that I was married, she responded “well you don’t have to be married tonight.” I typically take flirtation in good stride, but that was way out of line. I also used to have a co-worker who used to whistle at me and she would call me sweetie and occasionally would tell me that she loved me. I always took that in stride but when she got divorced she amped that behavior up. Then it became a little awkward. It really felt it went from something she was doing to be silly to “wait. She may be serious.”
 
So I’m guessing none of them crossed the line by touching you.
 
Did thay happen to you?
Several times, at different stores. I even filed a report at my last job but nothing happened. Yesterday two female coworkers were touching me at once. I even snapped and asked why two people were touching me at once. They both stopped but only one apologized.
 
Several times, at different stores. I even filed a report at my last job but nothing happened. Yesterday two female coworkers were touching me at once. I even snapped and asked why two people were touching me at once. They both stopped but only one apologized.
You might want to talk to a lawyer about this.
 
It could be a tricky situation, but I'd definitely leave that incident registered with HR.

Could it backfire? Absolutely! I'd even risk to say that they will put all the blame on you or say that you forced them, etc.

Is there any chance that the whole situation has been recorded by the security cameras?
 
At my last job, they asked if there were witnesses to any of the claims. Unfortunately, there were none and nothing happened. (It can take months for a claim to be investigated and I was out of work for months after I filed it. My coworkers said they were never spoken to about what happened.) This time there are plenty of witnesses. I’m going to tell her today that this is her warning that if it happens again, I’m going to HR.

I don’t think a lawyer will be necessary.
 
For what it’s worth, I would at least talk with a lawyer if I were you. Especially for your former employer. And especially your leaving had anything to do with feeling uncomfortable. Most plaintiff lawyers work contingent on outcomes and are happy to give you a free consultation.
 
Just sharing my thoughts here, but I don't think that threats would do you any good.

I'd follow Babillygunn's suggestion and ask a lawyer about the best way to proceed. Leave record of it should you ever need it.

Regarding witnesses at work, that's a hard one (and that happens 99.999999% of the time) because if it threatens one's job, then people never saw it, heard of it, nothing.
 
I actually think people would be more than happy to back me up as witnesses. The touchy woman isn’t very well liked at all.
 
Talking to witnesses is another reason to get a lawyer involved early. Lawyers can lock in statements and also can conduct witness interviews and there can be privileges asserted with them. You probably want someone in your corner for this.

Also, to MissMarvelous’s point, don’t be surprised if, once it rises to the level of “am I in danger of my job being impacted” all of a sudden, your coworkers want nothing to do with helping you out as a witness regardless of whether they like the person who did the touching or not.
 
Listen to @Babillygunn . I've been in somewhat similar situations and was able to talk through things, while alerting my supervisor of what was happening.

One word of warning.....do NOT assume that your evaluation of people WRT whether they would back you up is accurate. To a certain extent, we all live inside our own heads and tend to think our perceptions are mirrored by others. This is often NOT true. Take it from a guy who has handled more workplace grievances than I can even remember.
 
I’m not going to lie, it’s a bit surprising to see this advice written in the “sexperts” thread.
Well, maybe not THAT surprising........but only when you're being compared to others in your profession. :p
 

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