Me: Write a conversation between Christopher Nolan and Samuel L. Jackson where Samuel L. Jackson is excitedly pitching the plot of a 4th "Dark Knight" film that he would star in as the villain. At first Nolan doesn't think any of the ideas are good and is being sarcastically dismissive. Jackson gets angry with him as he realizes this.
Samuel L. Jackson: Hey Chris, let me tell you about the villain I got in mind for the fourth Dark Knight movie. This motherf***er is gonna be powerful and mysterious, a master of martial arts and weapons. He's out to bring chaos to the world and create a new world order with him at the head.
Christopher Nolan: That sounds pretty ambitious. What kind of chaos is he trying to bring?
Samuel L. Jackson: He's got a plan to take over Gotham and bend it to his will. Batman will have to use all his skills to unravel the mystery of my character's past and put an end to this mother****er's evil scheme.
Christopher Nolan: Yeah, sure. What kind of chaos is he trying to bring?
Samuel L. Jackson: He's got a plan to take over Gotham and bend it to his will. Batman will have to use all his skills to unravel the mystery of my character's past and put an end to this guy's evil scheme.
Christopher Nolan: Sounds like a real challenge for Batman. What kind of challenges do you think he will face?
Samuel L. Jackson: (angrily)What's with the sarcasm? You don't think it's a good idea?
Christopher Nolan: I'm not saying that. I'm just asking questions.
Samuel L. Jackson: (angrily) Look, Christopher, I'm trying to give you an awesome idea here. If you don't think it's any good, just tell me. Don't be so dismissive.
Christopher Nolan: I'm sorry if I came off that way. I'm just trying to understand the idea better. Tell me more about the challenges Batman would face when trying to stop this villain.
Me: Let's continue this conversation but it takes a turn and Nolan starts getting excited about the possibilities of the new movie. They accidentally stumble on what the movie would be titled.
Christopher Nolan: Wow, this sounds like an amazing idea. I can really see how Batman would have to use all of his skills and resources to try to stop this villain.
Samuel L. Jackson: I know! It's gonna be epic!
Christopher Nolan: And I think I have a title for the movie...The Dark Knight Rises!
Samuel L. Jackson: That's perfect! It really captures the essence of the story.
Christopher Nolan: Yes, I think it's perfect. I'm excited to start working on this project!
Me: Let's try that bit again, but Samuel L Jackson points out that the last movie was already called The Dark Knight Rises. Nolan is embarrassed. But they come up with a more appropriate title that includes the word "motherf***er".
Samuel L. Jackson: I like the title The Dark Knight Rises, but wasn't that the title of the last movie?
Christopher Nolan: (embarrassed) Oh, right. I guess I hadn't thought of that.
Samuel L. Jackson: Haha, don't worry about it. How about The Dark Knight Rises Again: The Motherf***er Strikes Back?
Christopher Nolan: (laughing) That does have a nice ring to it! I think that might be a better title for this movie.
Me: They're both happy with this title. Nolan and Jackson debate whether Jackson would be a new, original villain or a villain from the comic books that wasn't used in the previous movies.
Samuel L. Jackson: Alright, so the title is settled. Now, should I play an original villain or one from the comics?
Christopher Nolan: That's a good question. We could go either way. What do you think?
Samuel L. Jackson: I think an original villain would be more interesting. It would give us more freedom to create something new and exciting.
Christopher Nolan: That's true. On the other hand, a comic book villain would already have an established backstory that could be explored.
Samuel L. Jackson: That's true too. Let's think about it and decide later.
They decide that it actually should be a villain from the comics, and they make a decision about which one.
Christopher Nolan: Alright, let's go with a villain from the comics. Who do you think would be a good fit?
Samuel L. Jackson: How about The Joker? He'd be a great challenge for Batman and there's already a lot of material to draw from.
Christopher Nolan: That's a great idea. We could definitely make something exciting with The Joker as the villain.
Me: Jackson thinks Nolan might be high on drugs if he forgot about Heath Ledger's legendary performance as The Joker in The Dark Knight. He confronts him on the absurdity of this suggestion.
Samuel L. Jackson: Wait, are you serious? Heath Ledger's performance as The Joker in The Dark Knight was legendary. Are you really suggesting we try to top that?
Christopher Nolan: (slightly embarrassed) Well, I mean, it's a challenge, but I think we can do it. We could explore the character in a different way and create something new and exciting.
Samuel L. Jackson: What the f**k are you talking about? We can't just make something new and exciting with The Joker. We'd be setting ourselves up for failure.
Christopher Nolan: (confused and a bit paranoid) What are you trying to do? Are you trying to ruin my reputation?
Samuel L. Jackson: (angrily) No, I'm trying to make a good movie. This is a ridiculous idea. We need to come up with something more original.
Me: Nolan reminds Samuel Jackson of some his original ideas and acclaimed films and suggests that Jackson should know who he's dealing with.
Christopher Nolan: Look, I've made some acclaimed films in the past, and I think I know what I'm doing. I think it's possible to make something new and exciting with The Joker.
Samuel L. Jackson: (calming down) Alright, I get it. You know what you're doing. Let's just take a step back and think of something more original.
Me: Nolan concedes that it won't be The Joker and settles on another villain- but NOT Bane, Talia, Catwoman, Two-Face or Ra's al Ghul.
Christopher Nolan: Alright, so it won't be The Joker. Who do you think would be a good villain for the movie? Not Bane, Talia, Catwoman, Two-Face, or Ra's Al Ghul.
Samuel L. Jackson: How about Clayface? He's got a lot of potential and his shapeshifting powers could make for some really interesting scenes.
Christopher Nolan: That's a great idea! Clayface could be a really interesting villain. Let's explore that idea further.
Samuel L. Jackson: Yes! Clayface is perfect! He's mysterious and powerful, and his shapeshifting powers would make for some really intense action scenes. He could be a real motherf***er of a villain. We gotta do this!
Me: Nolan says he will make the movie under one condition. Jackson must sing him a song about Clayface right now.
Christopher Nolan: Alright, I'm on board. But there's one condition. You have to sing me a song about Clayface right now.
Samuel L. Jackson: (laughing) You got it!
(Samuel L. Jackson begins singing)
There's a villain in the city,
He's a master of disguise,
He can change his shape and face
To fool anyone's eyes.
He's Clayface, the terror of Gotham,
And he's out to cause chaos and mayhem.
A mother****er of a villain,
He'll have Batman running scared.
But don't worry, cuz Batman's brave,
He'll fight hard and never give in.
So keep your eyes open,
Gotham City,
Clayface is coming around.
Nolan breaks out an electric guitar.
Christopher Nolan: That was awesome! Let's jam!
Me: They start jamming, and figure out the plot of the movie as a song. Specifically, they sing about how the movie will end.
Samuel L. Jackson: (singing)
The Dark Knight will face his fears,
He'll fight 'til the bitter end,
And with courage and strength of heart,
He'll put Clayface to rest.
The people will be saved,
Gotham will be restored,
And the Dark Knight will have won,
Once and for all.
Me: Nolan is disgusted. He knows Jackson can do better than that.
Christopher Nolan: That's not good enough. You can do better than that. Let's make it more epic!
Samuel L. Jackson: Alright, I got it!
(Samuel L. Jackson begins singing)
The Dark Knight will battle fear,
He'll never give in,
He'll battle the villainous Clayface,
Until the very end.
The city will be saved,
From the chaos and despair,
And the Dark Knight will stand tall,
A hero forever more.
Me: Nolan and Sam Jackson have a moment of deep bonding, before pouring themselves each a shot of whiskey and making a toast to their mother****ing Batman movie.
Christopher Nolan: Wow, that was great! Let's make a toast to our motherf***ing Batman movie!
Samuel L. Jackson: Absolutely! (raises his shot glass) To The Dark Knight Rises Again: The Mother****er Strikes Back!