Hmmm, could use some work. How about reading an actual post. Like this,
The Triskelion:
The headquarters of The
United States Superhuman
Defense Initiative
23:10 Hours
I hear a soft rap at the door and I don't even look up to see who it is.
"Your late, soldier boy."
"Sorry, Nick. Even at 11 o' clock, the traffic's hell in Manhattan."
"That's fine, have a seat."
Steve sits down across my desk, I look up and see a few bandages and bruises on his face.
"Damn, Dillion did a number on you huh?"
"Not just him, Banner too. You still haven't found him yet?"
"Nope, somehow he managed to slip away in the confusion. We got Marko, Octavious and Dillon in the cells down at the bottom. Bullseye's at St. Mary's hospital recovering with about twenty soldiers flanking him at all times. That fool claims that this Loki cat paid him 100 million dollars to help him pull that stunt on us. He showed us a big suitcase and claimed it was all in there. Guess what was in it?"
"What?"
"Monopoly money."
"Haha, Serious?"
"Show how are you and Jan?"
"Fine, she's signed the divorce papers and is waiting on Hank to sign them too."
"He's probably going to be busy dealing with the lawsuit S.H.I.E.L.D.'s slapped on him. Those Ultron bots he made are S.H.I.E.L.D. property and he went and lent them to Loki. Bastard's lucky we aren't charging him with Treason."
"So what's going on, Nick? You didn't want to meet me at almost midnight just to play catch up?"
"Nope, I'm going to brief you on something very relevant to you."
A Helicarrier passes by the window and shakes the office.
"That's the third one that's been by in an hour. Their just running drills. Anyway, I've been reading some files recently on all the diffrent super soldier projects. Now after 9/11, S.H.I.E.L.D. re-authorized the Superhuman Defense Inititve, but it wasn't the first time the goverment tried to re-recreate a supersoldier."
I pull out my remote clicker and the wall to the right of me shows various images as the projector to the left of me comes to life.
"Now, while you were fighting the war. The military knew that while you were a one man army, there was always the chance that you would die. That's why after the sucess with you, they tried various ways to replicate the supersoldier serum. One of those was codenamed 'Project: Patriot'."
I press the clicker and it shows various men getting shots in their arm.
"In this project, they took your DNA and combinded it with the men's blood and put it back into them. Of the thirty men who were injected. fifteen on them died due to complicatins of your DNA. another fourteen of them went on and had normal lifes, though they all succomed to some form of rare dieses or diabetes. We think they were due to prolonged complications of exsposure to your blood. The project was deemed a failure and closed."
"What about one of them? By my count, you only said twenty-nine of them."
"Glad you asked."
I press the clicker and it shows a black man in a black and white photograph, he's posing in his army uniform.
"This is the one. His name is Isaiah Bradley. Born in 1929, He served briefly in the war and went on to fight in Korea. He retired from the army at the rank of Captain. He's currently 77 years old and is as spry as ever, infact he doesn't look a day over 45. A possible side effect to the exsposure to the serum."
A click and a color picture of a young black man running down a track with a pole in his hand and the olympics symbol plastered on his chest. He has an afro and a goatee.
"This is Isaiah's son Josiah. Born in 1955. A dominating athelete and winner of the gold medal in the decathalon four summer olympics in a row, That's sixteen years. He's arguably the greatest athelete since Jim Thorpe. He's also the only person not named Steve Rogers to come close to Supersoldier levels....Until now. "
Another click and a picture of a young black boy who has to be in his teens. This time the projector shows him playing football and out running everyone on the field.
"Elijah Bradley, Born in 1989. Josiah's son and Isaiah's grandson. He's a three sport star athelete for Midtown High School. He's faster than his father and stronger than his grandfather. and from what I found out about him through blood test this afternoon, He's your biological grandson, Steve....He's also the next member of the Ultimates."
t: 
smartass. The reason for using diffrent colors is to distingush one character from another. But yeath, make the reader feel like there reading a novel. You can use either 1st person or 3rd person perspective (I'm kinda partial to 1st myself)
