The "What Will the Asylum Rip Off Next" Thread?

[Rowsdower!]

I used to get annoyed that The Asylum would somehow avoid being sued despite BLATANTLY ripping off so many popular movies, but these days I look forward to their horrid debacles. With so many big movies coming out (many of them comic book-based) I thought it would be fun to try and predict what their next "big" movies might be, and what extremely talented actors might appear in them.
This one I already posted in the Man of Steel casting thread:

MAN OF IRON

Directed by C. Thomas Howell

Captain Super/Mark Brent: Griff Furst
Doris Dane: Kristanna Loken
Admiral Dodd: Richard Grieco
Dex *****er: Billy Zane
Brainattack: Judd Nelson
Femora: Patricia Velásquez
Jacks-It:Mark Dacascos
Jamie Wilson:Chris Chatman
Harry Wright: Bruce Boxleitner
Joseph Brent: Greg Evigan
Mara Brent: Deedee Pfieffer
Or-Jel: C. Thomas Howell
Rala-Jel: Claire Forlaini

THE REVENGERS

Directed by C. Thomas Howell

General United States/Roger Stevens: Shane Van Dyke
Almighty Thor: Cody Deal
Steel Man/Tommy Snark: Judd Nelson
The Implausible Hunk/Deuce Danner: C. Thomas Howell
Bird's Eye/Cliff Burton:Bug Hall
Loki:Richard Grieco
The Skrullians: Deep Roy
The Red Cranium/Jonas Schitt:Lorenzo Lamas
Dick Angry, Director of S.W.O.R.D.: Jaleel White
Dark Spider/Nastassja Gorbachev: Debbie Gibson

 

[Rowsdower!]

THE DARK SOLDIER STANDS

Directed by C. Thomas Howell

Megabat/Brent Payne: Patrick Muldoon
Commissioner Gordy Jameson: Marc Singer
Albert Nickelworth: Michael Gross
Kittenwoman/Serena Pyle: Nia Peeples
Blight: Brian Thompson
Rash O'Toole: Jason Connery
Nastia O'Toole: Olivia Alaina May
The Jester: Violent J from Insane Clown Posse
The Mayor: Richard Grieco

 

[JINoside]

Pretty much you could bet that if its making big bucks, they're gonna cash in on it. I'm surprised that there has never been any lawsuits. You could sue for just about anything now in days...

 

[dude stannis]

THE DISPOSABLES

Directed by Christopher Ray

Striker Slone: Barry Van Dyke
Joshua Steethem: Gary Stretch
Zoom Lee: Yoshi Ando
Ralph Londren: Brian Thompson
Barry Cruise: Kel Mitchell
Sandy O'toure: Gerald Webb
Robert Ericson: Eric Roberts
Austin Stevens: Paul Logan
Larry Danielson: Marc Singer

 

[Rowsdower!]

LOL at The Disposables. I love how you kept Eric Roberts in there. That sounds about right. After all, he was in that stranded-on-a-desert-island-with-Michael-Jackson movie.

 

[Rowsdower!]

GREEN LAMP

Directed by C. Thomas Howell

Green Lamp/Al Gordon: Paul Logan
Karen Harris: Sinead McCafferty
Lector Lammond: Jeremy London
Corrupto: Mark Dacascos
Killahog: Brian Thompson
Tumor-Lay: Gareth David-Lloyd
Eben Slur: A Martinez
Dr. Samantha Walters: Cassi Davis
Tim Kalifianakis: Vic Chao
Senator Lauber Lammond: Robert Davi
Barton Gordon: Bruce Boxleitner
Pamphlet: Verne Troyer

 

[dude stannis]

LOL at The Disposables. I love how you kept Eric Roberts in there. That sounds about right. After all, he was in that stranded-on-a-desert-island-with-Michael-Jackson movie.

I forgot the cameos!

Ricky Dourke: Judd Nelson.
Brian Wills: F. Murray Abraham
Harlan Braunschweiger: Uwe Boll

 

[Rowsdower!]

Haha, good stuff. What happened to F. Murray Abraham, anyway?

THE ASTONISHING MAN-SPIDER

Directed by (ironically) C. Thomas Howell

Man-Spider/Parker Peters: Bug Hall
Jen Lacey: Lauren Walsh
Dr. Kirk Conrad/The Gecko: Lorenzo Lamas
Dash Thomas: Cody Deal
Uncle Bob: Barry Bostwick
Aunt Martha: Nia Peeples
Niles Von Asher/Robo-Ghoul: Jay Chandrasekhar
Capt. Greg Lacey: Ray Liotta
C. Thomas Howell: C. Thomas Howell

 

[dude stannis]

Making obscure movies no one watches.

 

[gwynplaine]

Well he was great in Amadeus and Scarface, that's more than a lot of actors can say. His Salieri was pretty definitive.

 

[Rowsdower!]

Z-MEN: HEAD OF THE CLASS

Directed by C. Thomas Howell

Heinrich Lascher/Mega-Neato: Billy Zane
Carl Zavian/Doctor Z: Patrick Muldoon
Caspian Chaw: Lorenzo Lamas
Maven/Physique: LeeLee Sobieski
Gemma Freeze/Ice Princess: Debbie Gibson
Tank McCray/Creature: Cody Deal
Myra McHaggard: Nia Peeples
Alan Winters/Khaos: Chris Chatman
Shane Chastity/Man-Shriek: Bug Hall
Cherub Guatemala: Lauren Walsh
Asshatzel: Richard Greico

 

[dude stannis]

Who cameos as

Spoiler

Rogen/Wolfer-Mean

 

[Rowsdower!]

Who cameos as

Spoiler

Rogen/Wolfer-Mean

Haha, forgot about that! Christian Slater.

 

[Rowsdower!]

Single 8

Directed by C. Thomas Howell

In 1978, 18-year-old horndog Jim Lyons and his friends are filming a girl-on-girl porno in the middle of the desert with their Fujifilm Single-8 camera when a military plane crashes nearby. Investigating, the children witness something emerging from the wreckage, which they film with their camera. As they are waiting for the film to develop, suddenly, strange things begin occurring all over town. Clothing begins disappearing right off the backs of hot, big-breasted women. The incident seems to have also affected the hormones of these hot naked chicks as they begin coming on to every adult male and female in town and getting it on with any takers. After Jim and his friends engage in several trysts with some attractive babes, they begin to realize that something might seriously be wrong.

After the film is developed, they examine their movie more closely and see what appears to be a giant hedgehog emerging from the wreckage. They break into the local Air Force base and look through some files, ultimately learning that the government has been conducting genetic experiments on Corporal Ronald Jeremy Hyatt, attempting to create a sexual super soldier that could impregnate the alien race of Kal'Naar, which is near extinction due to a lack of virile males. Their experiments left him with a number of amazing abilities. Unfortunately, Ron got tired of the experiments being performed upon him and caused a plane crash when they were attempting to transfer him.

Ron is experienced in digging tunnels, and Jim eventually finds him in a cave, digging a hole to Canada. After thanking Ron for using his superpowers to turn all the hot women in town into nymphomaniacs, Jim pleads with him to go back to the military base and take the ship to Kal'Naar to save the alien species. Ron is hesitant to do so, since he's never had sex with an alien. But then Jim shows him some pictures of Kal'Naarian women that he stole from the air force base. Thrilled that all women on Kal'Naar look like Georgina Spelvin (only with blue skin) Ron agrees to go. The movie ends with Ron's phallic spaceship taking off to go impregnate the Kal'Naarians.

 

[PSYLENTGuardian]

Transmorphers: Dark Moon. Same cast from Transmorphers: Fall of Man.

 

[Rowsdower!]

UNMORTALS

Directed by (you guessed it!) C. Thomas Howell

Thebeseus: Cody Deal
Faildra: Patricia Velásquez
Stamos: Richard Grieco
King Superion: Lorenzo Lamas
Zeupiter: Billy Zane
(Old) Zeupiter: Bruce Boxleitner
Poseptune: Griff Furst
Atherva: Kristanna Loken
Marses: Mark Dacascos
Demeceres: Debbie Gibson
The Megataur: Kevin Nash

 

[TheDreamMaster]

LOL at The Disposables. I love how you kept Eric Roberts in there. That sounds about right. After all, he was in that stranded-on-a-desert-island-with-Michael-Jackson movie.

He was also in Sharktopus, Cyclops, Phat Girlz, and some movie where he fought a T-Rex with a forklift.

 

[Rowsdower!]

He was also in Sharktopus, Cyclops, Phat Girlz, and some movie where he fought a T-Rex with a forklift.

LOL, I need to see that. Whatever it is.

 

[SoulManX]

Single 8

Directed by C. Thomas Howell

In 1978, 18-year-old horndog Jim Lyons and his friends are filming a girl-on-girl porno in the middle of the desert with their Fujifilm Single-8 camera when a military plane crashes nearby. Investigating, the children witness something emerging from the wreckage, which they film with their camera. As they are waiting for the film to develop, suddenly, strange things begin occurring all over town. Clothing begins disappearing right off the backs of hot, big-breasted women. The incident seems to have also affected the hormones of these hot naked chicks as they begin coming on to every adult male and female in town and getting it on with any takers. After Jim and his friends engage in several trysts with some attractive babes, they begin to realize that something might seriously be wrong.

After the film is developed, they examine their movie more closely and see what appears to be a giant hedgehog emerging from the wreckage. They break into the local Air Force base and look through some files, ultimately learning that the government has been conducting genetic experiments on Corporal Ronald Jeremy Hyatt, attempting to create a sexual super soldier that could impregnate the alien race of Kal'Naar, which is near extinction due to a lack of virile males. Their experiments left him with a number of amazing abilities. Unfortunately, Ron got tired of the experiments being performed upon him and caused a plane crash when they were attempting to transfer him.

Ron is experienced in digging tunnels, and Jim eventually finds him in a cave, digging a hole to Canada. After thanking Ron for using his superpowers to turn all the hot women in town into nymphomaniacs, Jim pleads with him to go back to the military base and take the ship to Kal'Naar to save the alien species. Ron is hesitant to do so, since he's never had sex with an alien. But then Jim shows him some pictures of Kal'Naarian women that he stole from the air force base. Thrilled that all women on Kal'Naar look like Georgina Spelvin (only with blue skin) Ron agrees to go. The movie ends with Ron's phallic spaceship taking off to go impregnate the Kal'Naarians.

I would watch this

 

[Rowsdower!]

I would watch this

Haha, thanks. t:

I think it has the potential to be as good as TRON:JEREMY.

 

[Mace Dolex]

A shame how so many of these actors were once popular in the 80's.

 

[Midnyte_Sun]

Did you guys forget the Transmorphers, Alien vs Hunter, and "Movin' too Fast" (fast and the furious).

Would like to see their Ghost Rider rip off.

 

[Rowsdower!]

LOL, "Movin' Too Fast?!" I've never heard of that one.

Yeah, a Ghost Rider rip-off would be good but... could it possibly be worse than the ACTUAL Ghost Rider movie? That thing felt like a parody.

 

[PSYLENTGuardian]

Did you guys forget the Transmorphers, Alien vs Hunter, and "Movin' too Fast" (fast and the furious).

No I didn't

Transmorphers: Dark Moon. Same cast from Transmorphers: Fall of Man.

 

[Guhndoi]

Gunslingers & Spacemen
A spaceship arrives in Arizona, 1873, to take over the Earth, starting with the Wild West region. A posse of gunslinger and natives are all that stand in their way.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0433035/ Genuine Steel

A boxing drama set in the near-future where 2,000-pound humanoid robots do battle.

The Green Bee

Following the death of his father, Brett, heir to his father's large company, teams up with his late dad's assistant Kano to become a masked crime fighting team.

Rise of the Ape Planet

During experiments to find a cure for Alzheimer's disease, a genetically-enhanced chimpanzee uses its greater intelligence to lead other apes to freedom.

Drive Mad

A vengeful father escapes from hell and chases after the men who killed his daughter and kidnapped his granddaughter.

Cleric A cleric disobeys church law to track down the vampires who kidnapped his niece.

Last Destination Series 1-5 Survivors of various disastrous accidents learn there's no way you can cheat Death.


Night Fright
A teenager suspects that his new neighbor is a vampire.