The "What Will the Asylum Rip Off Next" Thread?

Discussion in 'The Cutting Room Floor' started by Rowsdower!, May 13, 2011.

  1. Rowsdower!

    Rowsdower! Well-Known Member

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    I used to get annoyed that The Asylum would somehow avoid being sued despite BLATANTLY ripping off so many popular movies, but these days I look forward to their horrid debacles. With so many big movies coming out (many of them comic book-based) I thought it would be fun to try and predict what their next "big" movies might be, and what extremely talented actors might appear in them.
    This one I already posted in the Man of Steel casting thread:

    MAN OF IRON

    Directed by C. Thomas Howell

    Captain Super/Mark Brent: Griff Furst
    Doris Dane: Kristanna Loken
    Admiral Dodd: Richard Grieco
    Dex *****er: Billy Zane
    Brainattack: Judd Nelson
    Femora: Patricia Velásquez
    Jacks-It:Mark Dacascos
    Jamie Wilson:Chris Chatman
    Harry Wright: Bruce Boxleitner
    Joseph Brent: Greg Evigan
    Mara Brent: Deedee Pfieffer
    Or-Jel: C. Thomas Howell
    Rala-Jel: Claire Forlaini

    THE REVENGERS

    Directed by C. Thomas Howell

    General United States/Roger Stevens: Shane Van Dyke
    Almighty Thor: Cody Deal
    Steel Man/Tommy Snark: Judd Nelson
    The Implausible Hunk/Deuce Danner: C. Thomas Howell
    Bird's Eye/Cliff Burton:Bug Hall
    Loki:Richard Grieco
    The Skrullians: Deep Roy
    The Red Cranium/Jonas Schitt:Lorenzo Lamas
    Dick Angry, Director of S.W.O.R.D.: Jaleel White
    Dark Spider/Nastassja Gorbachev: Debbie Gibson
     
    #1
  2. Rowsdower!

    Rowsdower! Well-Known Member

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    THE DARK SOLDIER STANDS

    Directed by C. Thomas Howell

    Megabat/Brent Payne: Patrick Muldoon
    Commissioner Gordy Jameson: Marc Singer
    Albert Nickelworth: Michael Gross
    Kittenwoman/Serena Pyle: Nia Peeples
    Blight: Brian Thompson
    Rash O'Toole: Jason Connery
    Nastia O'Toole: Olivia Alaina May
    The Jester: Violent J from Insane Clown Posse
    The Mayor: Richard Grieco
     
    #2
  3. JINoside

    JINoside Platinum Age Superhero™

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    Pretty much you could bet that if its making big bucks, they're gonna cash in on it. I'm surprised that there has never been any lawsuits. You could sue for just about anything now in days:o...
     
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  4. dude stannis

    dude stannis Well-Known Member

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    THE DISPOSABLES

    Directed by Christopher Ray

    Striker Slone: Barry Van Dyke
    Joshua Steethem: Gary Stretch
    Zoom Lee: Yoshi Ando
    Ralph Londren: Brian Thompson
    Barry Cruise: Kel Mitchell
    Sandy O'toure: Gerald Webb
    Robert Ericson: Eric Roberts
    Austin Stevens: Paul Logan
    Larry Danielson: Marc Singer
     
    #4
  5. Rowsdower!

    Rowsdower! Well-Known Member

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    LOL at The Disposables. I love how you kept Eric Roberts in there. That sounds about right. After all, he was in that stranded-on-a-desert-island-with-Michael-Jackson movie.
     
    #5
  6. Rowsdower!

    Rowsdower! Well-Known Member

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    GREEN LAMP

    Directed by C. Thomas Howell

    Green Lamp/Al Gordon: Paul Logan
    Karen Harris: Sinead McCafferty
    Lector Lammond: Jeremy London
    Corrupto: Mark Dacascos
    Killahog: Brian Thompson
    Tumor-Lay: Gareth David-Lloyd
    Eben Slur: A Martinez
    Dr. Samantha Walters: Cassi Davis
    Tim Kalifianakis: Vic Chao
    Senator Lauber Lammond: Robert Davi
    Barton Gordon: Bruce Boxleitner
    Pamphlet: Verne Troyer
     
    #6
  7. dude stannis

    dude stannis Well-Known Member

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    I forgot the cameos!

    Ricky Dourke: Judd Nelson.
    Brian Wills: F. Murray Abraham
    Harlan Braunschweiger: Uwe Boll
     
    #7
  8. Rowsdower!

    Rowsdower! Well-Known Member

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    Haha, good stuff. What happened to F. Murray Abraham, anyway?

    THE ASTONISHING MAN-SPIDER

    Directed by (ironically) C. Thomas Howell

    Man-Spider/Parker Peters: Bug Hall
    Jen Lacey: Lauren Walsh
    Dr. Kirk Conrad/The Gecko: Lorenzo Lamas
    Dash Thomas: Cody Deal
    Uncle Bob: Barry Bostwick
    Aunt Martha: Nia Peeples
    Niles Von Asher/Robo-Ghoul: Jay Chandrasekhar
    Capt. Greg Lacey: Ray Liotta
    C. Thomas Howell: C. Thomas Howell
     
    #8
  9. dude stannis

    dude stannis Well-Known Member

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    Making obscure movies no one watches.
     
    #9
  10. gwynplaine

    gwynplaine L'homme qui rit.

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    Well he was great in Amadeus and Scarface, that's more than a lot of actors can say. His Salieri was pretty definitive.
     
    #10
  11. Rowsdower!

    Rowsdower! Well-Known Member

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    Z-MEN: HEAD OF THE CLASS

    Directed by C. Thomas Howell

    Heinrich Lascher/Mega-Neato: Billy Zane
    Carl Zavian/Doctor Z: Patrick Muldoon
    Caspian Chaw: Lorenzo Lamas
    Maven/Physique: LeeLee Sobieski
    Gemma Freeze/Ice Princess: Debbie Gibson
    Tank McCray/Creature: Cody Deal
    Myra McHaggard: Nia Peeples
    Alan Winters/Khaos: Chris Chatman
    Shane Chastity/Man-Shriek: Bug Hall
    Cherub Guatemala: Lauren Walsh
    Asshatzel: Richard Greico
     
    #11
  12. dude stannis

    dude stannis Well-Known Member

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    Who cameos as
    Rogen/Wolfer-Mean
     
    #12
  13. Rowsdower!

    Rowsdower! Well-Known Member

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    Haha, forgot about that! Christian Slater.
     
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  14. Rowsdower!

    Rowsdower! Well-Known Member

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    Single 8

    Directed by C. Thomas Howell

    In 1978, 18-year-old horndog Jim Lyons and his friends are filming a girl-on-girl porno in the middle of the desert with their Fujifilm Single-8 camera when a military plane crashes nearby. Investigating, the children witness something emerging from the wreckage, which they film with their camera. As they are waiting for the film to develop, suddenly, strange things begin occurring all over town. Clothing begins disappearing right off the backs of hot, big-breasted women. The incident seems to have also affected the hormones of these hot naked chicks as they begin coming on to every adult male and female in town and getting it on with any takers. After Jim and his friends engage in several trysts with some attractive babes, they begin to realize that something might seriously be wrong.

    After the film is developed, they examine their movie more closely and see what appears to be a giant hedgehog emerging from the wreckage. They break into the local Air Force base and look through some files, ultimately learning that the government has been conducting genetic experiments on Corporal Ronald Jeremy Hyatt, attempting to create a sexual super soldier that could impregnate the alien race of Kal'Naar, which is near extinction due to a lack of virile males. Their experiments left him with a number of amazing abilities. Unfortunately, Ron got tired of the experiments being performed upon him and caused a plane crash when they were attempting to transfer him.

    Ron is experienced in digging tunnels, and Jim eventually finds him in a cave, digging a hole to Canada. After thanking Ron for using his superpowers to turn all the hot women in town into nymphomaniacs, Jim pleads with him to go back to the military base and take the ship to Kal'Naar to save the alien species. Ron is hesitant to do so, since he's never had sex with an alien. But then Jim shows him some pictures of Kal'Naarian women that he stole from the air force base. Thrilled that all women on Kal'Naar look like Georgina Spelvin (only with blue skin) Ron agrees to go. The movie ends with Ron's phallic spaceship taking off to go impregnate the Kal'Naarians.
     
    #14
  15. PSYLENTGuardian

    PSYLENTGuardian El Pollos Hermano

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    Transmorphers: Dark Moon. Same cast from Transmorphers: Fall of Man.
     
    #15
  16. Rowsdower!

    Rowsdower! Well-Known Member

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    UNMORTALS

    Directed by (you guessed it!) C. Thomas Howell

    Thebeseus: Cody Deal
    Faildra: Patricia Velásquez
    Stamos: Richard Grieco
    King Superion: Lorenzo Lamas
    Zeupiter: Billy Zane
    (Old) Zeupiter: Bruce Boxleitner
    Poseptune: Griff Furst
    Atherva: Kristanna Loken
    Marses: Mark Dacascos
    Demeceres: Debbie Gibson
    The Megataur: Kevin Nash
     
    #16
  17. TheDreamMaster

    TheDreamMaster The Night He Came Home...

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    He was also in Sharktopus, Cyclops, Phat Girlz, and some movie where he fought a T-Rex with a forklift.
     
    #17
  18. Rowsdower!

    Rowsdower! Well-Known Member

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    LOL, I need to see that. Whatever it is. :awesome:
     
    #18
  19. SoulManX

    SoulManX The Inspector!

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    I would watch this:o
     
    #19
  20. Rowsdower!

    Rowsdower! Well-Known Member

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    Haha, thanks. :woot:

    I think it has the potential to be as good as TRON:JEREMY.
     
    #20
  21. Mace Dolex

    Mace Dolex Powerful User

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    A shame how so many of these actors were once popular in the 80's.
     
    #21
  22. Midnyte_Sun

    Midnyte_Sun Medianoche de Sol

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    Did you guys forget the Transmorphers, Alien vs Hunter, and "Movin' too Fast" (fast and the furious).

    Would like to see their Ghost Rider rip off.
     
    #22
  23. Rowsdower!

    Rowsdower! Well-Known Member

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    LOL, "Movin' Too Fast?!" I've never heard of that one.

    Yeah, a Ghost Rider rip-off would be good but... could it possibly be worse than the ACTUAL Ghost Rider movie? That thing felt like a parody.
     
    #23
  24. PSYLENTGuardian

    PSYLENTGuardian El Pollos Hermano

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    No I didn't :dry:

     
    #24
  25. Guhndoi

    Guhndoi Side-Kick's Side-Kick

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    Gunslingers & Spacemen
    A spaceship arrives in Arizona, 1873, to take over the Earth, starting with the Wild West region. A posse of gunslinger and natives are all that stand in their way.

    Genuine Steel

    A boxing drama set in the near-future where 2,000-pound humanoid robots do battle.

    The Green Bee

    Following the death of his father, Brett, heir to his father's large company, teams up with his late dad's assistant Kano to become a masked crime fighting team.

    Rise of the Ape Planet

    During experiments to find a cure for Alzheimer's disease, a genetically-enhanced chimpanzee uses its greater intelligence to lead other apes to freedom.

    Drive Mad

    A vengeful father escapes from hell and chases after the men who killed his daughter and kidnapped his granddaughter.

    Cleric A cleric disobeys church law to track down the vampires who kidnapped his niece.

    Last Destination Series 1-5 Survivors of various disastrous accidents learn there's no way you can cheat Death.


    Night Fright
    A teenager suspects that his new neighbor is a vampire.
     
    #25

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