Things Batman Would Never Say

[P. Cushing]

Batman: (Musing over his Batman suit design) Could use some nipples!

 

[Franklin Richards]

Where all the white women at?

 

[Darko]

Spoiler

On my sack!!

 

[General_Grievous]

Batman:"Why can't we all just get along?"

 

[General_Grievous]

I have took the liberty to make actual sounds of the characters saying stuff -

here is Batman -

http://hegel.research.att.com/tts/speech/7da066121ada61aa9192283b79f16809.wav

 

[General_Grievous]

And here is Alfred -

http://hegel.research.att.com/tts/speech/94a113230eda15c7d79d75cd8cc9c9a0.wav

 

[Spidey_WA]

Very funny (seriously!)

 

[Wiseman]

Batman cuddling with Robin watching "The Ambiguesly Gay Duo": "You don't think their on to us do you?"

 

[General_Grievous]

check out my sounds!

 

[Wiseman]

I couldn't, it said the webpage and link were removed

 

[General_Grievous]

I couldn't, it said the webpage and link were removed

oh right! sorry!

 

[That-Guy]

Oracle: Yaaay!!! I beat Professor X in the wheelchair derby!!!!

Batman: Yes, folks, its true. I DO wear this bright yellow belt to attract bullets to my crotch.

Robin (Dick or Jason): You need Nair for short shorts!

Detective Flass: Man, I hope Dolph Lundgren plays me in the movie.

Black Mask: For the last time, THAT STUPID JET LI MOVIE WASN'T ABOUT ME!!!!

 

[DarkKnightJRK]

Where all the white women at?

Blazing Saddles.

 

[igotatromboner]

"Thanks Joel!!!"

 

[That-Guy]

Scarecrow: Would you believe I only weigh 47 pounds? See folks, Trimspa really does work!

Bane: After I stopped using steriods, I found out I just couldn't cut it as a supervillain. Kinda makes me feel like an Olympic athlete.

Bane's 3 Annoying Henchmen:
Bird: No, I'm not Sigfried OR Roy.
Zombie: No, I'm not Billy Corgan.
Trogg: Uh, I don't know who I look like... but anyway, aren't you glad we're not around anymore?

Killer Croc: Hey, here's a little known fact, kids. When Jim Lee was drawing my scenes in HUSH, he was running short on time, so he just cut and pasted a bunch of old sketches of the Lizard he did for Marvel a long time ago and hoped no one would notice!

 

[TheKillingJoke]

Batman:"Joker...Jokey, Big J!....Can I borrow 50 bucks?"

 

[The Navigator]

Batman:Say, Robin, want a promotion?
Robin: Really?
Batman: PSYCHE!

Oracle: They have basketball organizations for people like me.

Joker: Now where're my antidepressants...?

Bane: CROM!!

 

[WayneEnterprise]

Batman: (musing over the Batmobile) Alfred, what I think this thing REALLY needs is ground effects and blue neon lights. Make it happen.

 

[WayneEnterprise]

Batman: And while you are at it, throw down with one of those little OnStar contraptions, too, so they can track my car for me.

 

[WayneEnterprise]

Batman: Ya know Mr. Burton, I think Michael Keaton best represents my level of physical fitness and training. You should pick him.

 

[P. Cushing]

Batman: KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHNNNNNNNN!!!!!!

 

[The Navigator]

Alfred: I bandaged your ribs and replaced you injured spleen, master Bruce...that'll be 12,000 dollars.
Bruce: What?!
Alfred: Hardly MY fault you don't have an HMO plan...

Mr. Freeze: Maybe I should stop freezing things are start melting them...

Catwoman: You're right Batman, I SHOULD give up crime.

Batgirl (new one): Snake Eyes (from GI JOE) is my brother.

 

[Darko]

Thug: Who ARE YOU!??!?!?!!!?

BATMAN: I'm NOT Batman.........

 

[The Navigator]

Batman: Well, crap in a hat.

Joker: Hang from a helicopter? Shyeah right. Get my frickin' stunt double to do it.

Robin: That pole's starting to chafe...

 

[DarkKnightJRK]

Joker: Meh, killing people isn't as funny anymore, so let me watch Everyone Loves Raymond in peace!