To Catch a predator...

Discussion in 'DC Comics' started by Silverstein, Mar 12, 2008.

  1. Silverstein Registered

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    Hi. I'm Chris Hanssen. Over the last two weeks, I have worked with the Oracle to catch sick adults that place children in harmful situations. Oracle would go online and serve as a decoy. We have the offenders come to a "meeting place" in which we can question them before authorities take them away.

    This is some of the footage we've obtained..

    *The Batmobile parks in front of the house*
    Oracle:*Dressed like Robin* Hi. Come on in. I've got to take a shower first, but just wait right here.
    Batman: Okay cool. My parents are dead. I've got some batarangs and rope.
    Oracle: Tee hee...Just wait here.*leaves*
    Batman: Alright cool. Nice place...my parents would have liked a place like this.*starts looking around*
    Chris Hanssen: Why don't you have a seat, sir? *walks in through the curtain*
    Batman: Oooh...um...hey bro.
    Chris Hanssen: What. What were you planning to do tonight?
    Batman: Um just play some video games. Totally not fight crime!!
    Chris: You brought batarangs and rope to...not fight crime?
    Batman: I usually...brings batarangs and rope with me places. My parent--
    Chris: Who were you here to see?
    Batman: Uhh...no one. My..uh..my friend.
    Chris: What is your friend's name?
    Batman: Becky..Barry?..Bart?...Donna?
    Chris: How about Rachael? Does that ring a bell.
    Batman: Cha dude...yeah she totally said that..online..yeah.
    Chris: How old is Rachael?
    Batman: Like ten or something...Look man, I would never put a child in danger. My job is to like help people and stuff, man.
    Chris: Let me read you something:

    BlackTightsHotNights19: Hi.
    Decoy: Hi.
    BlackTightsHotNights19: I'd like to give you this brightly colored costume and have you parade around with me in Gotham.
    Decoy: Wouldn't that be dangerous?
    BlackTightsHotNights19: Not if you take these batarangs and grapples and stuff. I can tailor them to just your size.
    Decoy: Sounds like fun.
    BlackTightsHotNights19: Are you a guy or girl?
    Decoy: A girl...why?
    BlackTightsHotNights19: I can call you "Robin" or "Batgirl" when we do this.
    Decoy: Let's go with Robin..
    BlackTightsHotNights19: You remind me of someone.
    Decoy: I....
    Decoy: What?
    Decoy: lol :) u r t3h silly. My name's Rachael. We've never met.
    BlackTightsHotNights19: Okay, "Robin". You might get handcuffed and brainwashed, shot at, punched in the face..or even tied up, tortured and murdered by the Joker.
    Decoy: Won't that hurt?
    BlackTightsHotNights19: It's the good kind of pain, baby.
    Decoy:....
    BlackTightsHotNights19: ....
    BlackTightsHotNights19: I'll let you in my Batcave if you let me in yours..
    Decoy: WHAT?!
    BlackTightsHotNights19: What? oooh...lol...No I meant like your house. Like your secret base..that's what I was going for there.
    Decoy: Okay...Cause I'm like 12.
    BlackTightsHotNights19: That's pretty young but I'd still be willing to call you "Robin".

    The rest is too graphic to repeat. Talk of "Penguins","Crocs" and "Jokers" being sent to insane assylums.

    "Batman" left after we told him he was free to go. He was not charged because he claims that all sidekicks were over 18 at the time. His lawyers argued that they were just short. Oracle tells us that it was almost impossible for her to find Batgirl and assured us that she probablly wouldn't want to talk about it.



    Seriously though: After OMAC, all the robins, Jason Todd, the mysterious debatable stuff with Joker and Batgirl. (Being crippled in a world with power rings and supermen is already insane..You're telling me there's no way to make her walk again? But you can shrink cities and bring people back to life..I digress) Batman is almost as bad as The Joker. Because this would have never happened to Jason if Batman had of put Jason in a youth help center instead of having people shoot at him. Batgirl would have never been crippeled and stuff if Brucey said no..

    It's probably his fault that his parents died..."Mommy...I wanna see the play but daddy said no!!" "No son, your father said no because it's after your bed time and the theatre that runs it is in a very bad part of town." " IWANNAGONOW!!!!!"

    Why is no one in DC trying to get Batman/Bruce Wayne?
     
  2. SouLeSS Registered

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  3. yenaled 3X2(9YZ)4A

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  4. sethcohen still beats hal...

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  5. Darthphere Kneel before 'Drox!

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    Wow, that was.....horrendous.

    [​IMG]
     
  6. Green Lantern Brightest Day

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    I can see you never read Batgirl Year One, OR the Killing Joke. First off, Batman DID say no to Batgirl. But she insisted on playing hero on her own. If NOT for Batman, she woud have killed herself in the process when she jumped off a roof with a bad line. Secondly, she wasn't shot because she was Batgirl. She was shot because she was Commissioner James Gordon's daughter. So if anyone put her life in jeopardy it was dear old dad.
     
  7. Assassin Detroit's Reckoning

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    you are a ****ing ****** cfood
     
  8. Hush Wee Little Puppet Man

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    That was ******ed.
     
  9. Aristotle Registered

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    Well I'm not gonna be a dick about it, but I think Batman's been largely pretty good about his youthful wards.
     
  10. Green Lantern Brightest Day

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    Yeah, he didn't let one get hooked on smack like Ollie did :o Hell, one of Ollie's was a junkie and the other has HIV. I'd say HE'S the one to go after :o
     
  11. batnkevlar Registered

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    Mia got HIV before she met Ollie... it's not like he gave it to her...
     
  12. Aristotle Registered

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    That's just what they want you to think.[/Garth Ennis]
     
  13. Green Lantern Brightest Day

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    You can't prove that... she found OUT she had it after she met Ollie, we have no clue when she got it :ninja:
     
  14. Silverstein Registered

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    lol Wow...I'm not even offended. I even got owned by the American Idol guy..

    And Green Lantern, I was aware of that. You're right, of course, but I knew that. I just feel like Batman's history is all about getting kids and teens to fight his battles. He could have easily ended Batgirl's romp by telling her father. This would have stopped the whole going out at night thing. And while he was getting at Gordon, it seems like it was directed at Batman too.

    You can't really defend the Jason Todd thing. At the very least he's responsible for his death.
     
  15. Silverstein Registered

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    Dude...





    :csad:I know.
     
  16. Silverstein Registered

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    Oh and Assassin....Where did Preptime save JT? Oh wait...he's still dead.
     
  17. SouLeSS Registered

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    Actually, he's not.
     
  18. Assassin Detroit's Reckoning

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    no, he really isnt
     
  19. Darthphere Kneel before 'Drox!

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    Wikipedia FTW!
     
  20. Green Lantern Brightest Day

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    Telling her dad wouldn't have ended her career. Majority of teens don't listen to their parents all the time. Not to mention that Jim did know, and it DIDN'T stop her. Only when Dick pretended to be Batgirl did Jim start believing that Babs wasn't.

    And really, he's not responsible for Jason. Jason disobeyed DIRECT orders and in the process got himself killed. It was Jason's fault, not Bruce's. Hell, Bruce isn't even to blame for Steph's death. He'd already fired her.
     
  21. Silverstein Registered

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    Okay....I was wrong. Sorry Batman.


    But he's still freakin crazy.
     
  22. xisaacx trademarks us miserable

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    fail//system error/
     
  23. Silverstein Registered

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    lol You must be new or something....
     
  24. IRON_Lad Registered

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    I loved the whole joke up until you started going serious (and Im a Batman fan).
     
  25. xisaacx trademarks us miserable

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    Whats that even mean?
     

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